destroy me, heal me

When he woke up the next day, Yi Jiangliu had already gone to the company. Lu Lixi got up and saw Lu Huaijin in the kitchen.He went in sleepily, rubbed his eyes and said, "Huaijin, are you hungry?"

Lu Huaijin smiled and said, "Are you up? Yes. Go brush your teeth and wash your face, come out and eat together."

On the table were noodles boiled with eggs and vegetables, Lu Lixi actually felt familiar.He took a sip and it felt even stronger.So he asked: "Huaijin, did you cook this for me at some point, but I don't remember? You know, my memory has a problem."

Lu Huaijin said, "Do you have any impression?"

Lu Lixi thought for a while: "It's very familiar, but I can't remember when it was."

Lu Huaijin then said: "Maybe I went to eat at my house when I was a child. My craftsmanship is passed down from my mother."

Lu Lixi smiled, and Lu Huaijin said, "Take me around today? I might be leaving this afternoon."

"In such a hurry?" Lu Lixi was a little disappointed, "Are you going back to your hometown?"

Lu Huaijin shook her head: "Go to Haizhu and find my cousin. Do you remember that sand sculpture named Lu Zhiyu?"

Lu Lixi smiled: "I remember that you and brother Yuyu had a very good relationship when you were young. Next time, Jiang Liu and I will go find you."

Lu Huaijin said: "Okay, well... Do you know if there is a cake shop here? It's my brother's birthday, I'll order a cake for him back home."

Lu Lixi took out his phone: "Then let me check..."

But Lu Huaijin snatched the phone.Lu Huaijin said, "Let's just drive and look for it." He used Lu Lixi's head injury as an excuse to drive himself, and let Lu Lixi sit in the passenger seat.Deliberately turned to the commercial center, parked the car, and said, "There must be ones nearby. Go and have a look."

Lu Lixi was pushed to the front, he looked around, his body took a step ahead of his thoughts.Lu Huaijin walked behind him for 10 minutes, and they stopped in front of a store.Lu Lixi stopped and said doubtfully, "Hey, I should have been here before? It's so familiar." He walked over and opened the door.

"Welcome~"

Lin Feifei, who was behind the cashier, looked over and was stunned.She didn't dare to speak nonsense, so she looked at Lu Huaijin who was behind Lu Lixi, and Lu Huaijin signaled her not to speak.Lu Lixi was also stunned for a long time, but finally he only said: "Huaijin, there must be some here, so let's buy it here. I have an impression of this place, and it must be because the service attitude and quality here are very good."

After going around a few places, Lu Huaijin sent Lu Lixi home in the afternoon and went to Haizhu.

After Lu Lixi finished cooking, he went to take a shower. When he went to look for clothes in the closet, he saw a guitar lying quietly in the innermost place.He took out the guitar and hooked his fingertips. The melodious voice made Lu Lixi's eyes light up. He suddenly remembered that when he was learning English, he once practiced a song that he wanted to sing for Yi Jiangliu.

However, he couldn't remember whether he sang it afterwards.

When Yi Jiangliu returned home, the food was on the table, but Lu Lixi was nowhere to be seen.He walked quickly to the back room and heard a guitar playing from the master bedroom.He pushed open the door and saw Lu Lixi sitting cross-legged on the bed, trying to play the guitar score on his phone.

"Xiao Xi." Yi Jiangliu leaned against the door.

Lu Lixi raised his head, and a smile appeared on his distressed face. He raised his guitar and said happily, "Hey! I found this! Did you buy this for me? I was practicing and then I gave up halfway. Yet?"

Yi Jiangliu walked over and sat next to him, and said, "Yes, you said you wanted it, so I bought it for you. You practiced very hard and didn't give up halfway."

Lu Lixi was puzzled: "Really? Then... why is he stuffed in the closet now, as if he hasn't been moved for a long time?"

Yi Jiangliu didn't know how to answer this question, but Lu Lixi's doubts immediately turned away.He said enthusiastically, "Jiang Liu Jiang Liu, I practiced a song and I wanted to sing it to you. Did you hear it later?"

Yi Jiangliu shook his head slowly.

Lu Lixi asked expectantly: "Then how about I sing it to you now? I learned it when I was learning English."

Yi Jiangliu suddenly leaned up and kissed his lips, and said, "Of course."

Lu Lixi blushed slightly, and looked down at the guitar score that had been forgotten.The prelude played, which Yi Jiangliu was familiar with.

Lu Lixi's eyes were somewhat shy, affectionate, and moved:

Ohangelsentfromupabove,Youknowyoumakemyworldlightup,WhenIwasdown,whenIwashurt,Youcametoliftmeup,Lifeisadrink,andlove'sadrug,OhnowIthinkImustbemilesup,WhenIwasariverdriedup,Youcametorainaflood,Sodrinkforme,drinkforme,WhenIwassothirsty,Powonas symphony,NowIjustcan'tgetenough,Putyourwingsonme,wingsonme,WhenIwassoheavy,Soaringinsymphony,WhenI'mlower,lower,lower, low, IohIohI, Gotmefeelingdrunkandhigh, Sohigh, sohigh...  

[Translation: Messenger from heaven, give me hope, you light up my world; when I fall to the bottom, heartbroken, you come, comfort my heartache; life is like wine, love is like a drug, I think I have skyrocketed, Float miles into the air; when I dry up like a stream, the love you give surges like a tide.Give me a drink, and I will rest when I am drunk. When my mouth is dry, the music will linger in my ears; Soaring and singing; when I fell down like a valley, my ears were hot with wine, and I fell into drunkenness, dreams and death, dripping freely. -Single "HymnForTheWeekend" from Coldplay and Diva Beyonce]

So, why did Yi Jiangliu not hear Lu Lixi's affectionate confession?

"Aren't you coming back tonight?"

"Well, I need to work overtime, and I will live in the company's apartment tonight."

"Well... well, then I will sing for you tomorrow night, don't add it too late..."

That night, it was Qi Jianxiao who took him to drink.The next day, the day he was falsely accused.From then on, he fell into an upheaval. He lost trust in Lu Lixi.Lu Lixi's long-term love for him was also buried in the abyss by his own hands.

Yi Jiangliu suddenly held down Lu Lixi's hand, and the sound of the piano and singing stopped abruptly. Lu Lixi raised his head in astonishment, and then his lips were blocked by an overly chaotic kiss. His hand let go, and the guitar fell to the ground. under the bed.

Lu Lixi relaxed his body and hugged Yi Jiangliu's back, comforting him, making the terrified kiss gradually soften, like a long stream of water.

They fumbled to unbutton each other's shirts and belts in their growing bewilderment.Naked faces each other, rubbing and entangled against each other's warm skin without barriers, and each other's bodies are planted with fiery desire by the other.

"Jiangliu..." Lu Lixi's body softened into a puddle of water, asking for whatever he wanted.

Panting heavily, Yi Jiangliu hugged him, and when he met his misty eyes, the possessive gesture was replaced by complete self-loathing.

He is taking advantage of others.When Lu Lixi is fully awake and knows what he did when he was unconscious, he will be completely scared by his disgusting behavior and back away.

The sober Lu Lixi hated him and couldn't accept his skin-to-skin contact, but now he took advantage of the other's love for him in the past.If it continues, it is called defilement.

Lu Lixi touched his face: "Jiang Liu?"

Yi Jiangliu's enthusiasm was quenched by the cold water pouring down his head, he put Lu Lixi on the bed very gently, and said, "I'm sorry, little Xi."

He put on his clothes indiscriminately, and fled the suffocating place like a cowardly fugitive.

"Jiang Liu..." Lu Lixi sat up suspiciously, not understanding why, there seemed to be an invisible film between him and Yi Jiangliu.Yi Jiangliu knew of its existence and cared about it.He didn't know anything, and such an unknown feeling made him feel insecure.

Don't they belong to each other?

He still remembered the throbbing in his heart when Yi Jiangliu put the inexpensive ring on his finger for the first time.He raised his hand subconsciously, but saw that it was empty. Where was the ring?He put on his clothes in a panic, searched on the desk, in the living room, in the closet, and finally squatted on the floor of the room to search under the bed.

He couldn't find it anywhere, so he panicked and ran to the study to look for it.

Yi Jiangliu had calmed down after taking a cold shower.There were still untouched meals on the dining table, which were completely cold.Feeling guilty, he thought up a full apology, and walked into the room, but Lu Lixi was not there.

Yi Jiangliu came out and shouted, "Xiaoxi?" No answer, he hurriedly searched room by room.Finally, he saw Lu Lixi sitting slumped on the floor of the study, holding their American divorce certificate in his hand.

Lu Lixi raised his head, his eyes were moist: "We got married and got divorced again."

Yi Jiangliu walked over with limp limbs, took the paper in Lu Lixi's hand, and tore it to pieces.He hugged Lu Lixi and coaxed him softly: "That's not real, it's just a joke. I love you, Xiao Xi. I love you. It's fake, it's just a joke. Look, you can do whatever you want I just tore it off, it can't be taken seriously..."

Lu Lixi sniffed, and tried hard to suppress her crying: "It's not a joke, it's true. You brought that woman to divorce me, and you said that my role is nothing but a nuisance, give me 3 Ten thousand yuan, it should be thanking me... willing to stay at home for many years to be a house husband and take care of Xiao Yuan."

When he saw this divorce certificate, his brain was invaded by some nightmare fragments.Those unsightly and suffocating images continuously invaded his consciousness.He grasped Yi Jiangliu's lapel tightly: "I haven't... I haven't done that kind of thing! Jiang Liu, trust me...help me."

No one can save him except Yi Jiangliu.However, Yi Jiangliu would push him away indifferently, and reprimand him condescendingly: "Bitch!"

Lu Lixi was so frightened that he timidly let go.Before Yi Jiangliu pushed him away, he let go of his hand.He huddled himself in a corner and covered his ears.

However, there are still countless Yi Jiangliu coming from all directions, pointing at his face to reprimand him, insult him, taunt him, and mock him, they are everywhere.

No Yi Jiangliu believed him.

Yi Jiangliu stretched out his hand tremblingly, trying to hug him, but he shrank himself even tighter.He said: "You don't believe me, you say I'm dirty...so you don't want to hug me. So that's the case. Why don't you believe me...why...you want to leave me and marry another woman?"

Yi Jiangliu's voice was hoarse: "Xiaoxi... I was wrong. Can you... forgive me?"

Lu Lixi was full of the sarcasm and sarcasm in his memory and Yi Jiangliu was going to marry someone else, so he got up suddenly, pushed Yi Jiangliu away, and ran out stumblingly.

"Xiaoxi!" Yi Jiangliu took his phone and keys, and chased him out in panic.He sent a message to Lu Huaijin, sharing his location.

He knew that now was the time for him to lose Lu Lixi completely.

Lu Lixi ran out of the community with bare feet, stopping and stopping on the road.He lowered his head in fear, and the gazes of those passers-by seemed to be mocking him along with the voice in his head.He started to trot, and he remembered that somewhere, there was a safe haven.He ran in that direction, desperately.

Yi Jiangliu followed him neither far nor near, not daring to let him out of his sight.

After an unknown amount of time, a car stopped in front of Lu Lixi. Lu Huaijin looked at Lu Lixi anxiously: "Little Xi? What's wrong with you? It's dangerous to run here. Get in the car!"

Lu Lixi turned around to look at Yi Jiangliu, opened the door tremblingly and got into the car, urging, "Huaijin Huaijin... Hurry up... Drive fast... Don't let Jiang Liu catch up, he will hit me Will scold me... If he catches up, he will grab me and ask me to watch him marry another woman. I don't want...I don't want to..." He huddled in the back seat.

Lu Huaijin looked at Yi Jiangliu standing still in the rearview mirror, started the car, and asked, "Xiaoxi, do you really love him so much?"

Lu Lixi muttered to himself: "But...but he is going to marry someone else. What to do... what to do...I will definitely die...I will not survive..."

——*——

"Emotions have calmed down, now here with me for the time being. He fell asleep... um."

"That's good." After hanging up the phone, Yi Jiangliu stared blankly at the distant lights outside the balcony, not even noticing that the cigarette butt burned to his fingertips.It wasn't until the cigarette butt went out due to lack of oxygen that he threw it into the ashtray and entered the living room.

He called Yi Chenyuan.Yi Chenyuan said: "Daddy, is Daddy alright?"

Yi Jiangliu said: "It's almost there. You can see Daddy soon. Now Xiaoyuan, Daddy asks you a question."

Yi Chenyuan said: "Huh? What's the problem? Dad."

Yi Jiangliu asked him: "If you want to live with Daddy and Uncle Lu, will you be unhappy?"

Yi Chenyuan thought for a while: "I won't be unhappy, but where is Dad? Where is Dad going? Without Dad, it's not a complete family."

——*——

Lu Huaijin cooked the noodles halfway and found that there was no salt.He turned off the fire, went to the room to look around, and saw that Lu Lixi was still sound asleep, so he took his phone and went out to buy.When he walked out of the supermarket with salt, a large brush fell from the sky and fell to the ground behind his back.He only felt a chill on his back, so he raised his head.The worker on the ladder quickly climbed down, saw that his clothes were dirty, and thought that the clothes of the people living in this community must not be cheap, so he bowed in fright: "I'm sorry, sir, the brush is a bit heavy, I'm painting the billboards." Well, one of them fell off without holding it firmly. It's really... oh, what can I do... Your clothes must be expensive, oh, it's over, it's over..."

Lu Huaijin looked at the few drops of red paint that had also splashed over his clothes, and comforted him: "It's okay, hold it steady next time, and do some fixing measures. This time it's just dirty clothes. Next time, if you hit someone, you'll be fine." It’s not easy. My clothes are fine, so be careful.”

The workers thanked them again and again.

After Lu Huaijin went back, she saw that Lu Lixi had already got up, and the sound of washing could be heard from the bathroom.He put down the salt, and just as he turned into the room, he heard Lu Lixi calling him, "Huaijin? Where have you been?"

Lu Huaijin went out again: "There's no more salt, I'll go out and buy some. Are you better?"

Lu Lixi was a little embarrassed: "I'm sorry, I was rude last night."

Lu Huaijin smiled and said, "I'm going to change clothes. I got dirty just now." He turned around, and Lu Lixi suddenly opened his eyes wide and screamed in horror.Lu Huaijin hurried back: "Xiaoxi? What's wrong with you?"

Lu Lixi had seen this scene before.When in a dream.

Bang-bang-bang-bang.

Lu Huaijin fell into a pool of blood.

He thought it was a dream.Until now, when Lu Huaijin's entire back was blood red, and she appeared naked in front of him, did he realize that it was not a dream.It was really blood, and the blood flowed along the embankment, fell into the river, and spread away with the waves.

"Daddy! Daddy! Woohoo..."

Little Yi Chenyuan was picked up and thrown into the river.He cannot swim and will be surrounded by water until he suffocates.

Seeing him covering his head with a painful expression, Lu Huaijin hurriedly held his face, and told him softly: "Xiaoxi! Xiaoxi, Xiaoxi! Come on, feel me, touch me, I have warmth, I Still alive. Xiao Yuan is also alive. Xiao Yuan is still alive, did you hear that? Did you hear that...Xiao Xi."

Lu Lixi focused her eyes, looked at Lu Huaijin, and said in a trembling voice, "Huaijin...Huaijin...you're still alive..."

Lu Huaijin hugged him tightly: "I'm alive." He took the phone, made a call, and turned on the speakerphone.

"Good morning, Uncle Lu~" Yi Chenyuan's sweet voice came out.

Lu Huaijin said: "Xiaoyuan is good, call him Daddy."

Xiaoyuan shouted happily: "Daddy~ are you okay? Can I go see you?"

Lu Lixi choked up, "Xiao Yuan?"

"Daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy!!!!"

The ups and downs caused Lu Lixi's consciousness to be taken away, and he fell into a coma in Lu Huaijin's arms.

——*——

When Lu Lixi woke up, he found himself lying on the hospital bed, with Lu Huaijin lying beside his bed.He raised his hand and stroked the ends of Lu Huaijin's hair lightly. Lu Huaijin raised his head immediately and was relieved to see that he woke up: "Xiaoxi, wake up? I just took a nap. How do you feel? "

Lu Lixi's hands slid down his hair to his face, his eyes were moist: "Huaijin...you're still alive..."

Lu Huaijin held his hand, rubbed his palm, and asked, "Xiaoxi, what do you remember?"

Lu Lixi said: "What happened, what was lost, what was gained, everything. I remember everything."

Lu Huaijin leaned down and kissed his forehead: "Welcome back, my little Xi."

"Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy!!!!" Yi Chenyuan who rushed in rushed over, and Lu Huaijin carried him to the bed and put him on Lu Lixi's body.He kissed Lu Lixi on the cheek with a thud, "Daddy! Xiaoyuan misses you so much, Daddy."

Lu Lixi patted his head, unable to speak, could only hug him and cry and laugh.

Yi Jiangliu put the food in his hand on the table and retreated quietly.

Lu Huaijin went out, saw him backing out of the car at the window, and drove away.

Yi Jiangliu's car merged into the busy traffic, and he saw people coming and going in an endless stream.He saw the prosperity of the world and the tall buildings.

He knew that after all, he was just a piece of loess in this mundane world, and he would be submerged by the long river of history.He has no great achievements, nor does he deserve to have his name engraved on Monument Valley, so forgetting and being forgotten is his destination.