Atlas Double Star Book

He nudged the young man's chest with no effort at all, almost just touching it.Neil stepped back, freeing him from the embrace.

"No... I don't understand."

Pelias buried his face in his hands involuntarily, and ended the action in an instant.As if he had lost all his faith, he sat down with difficulty, propping his forehead with both hands, and his silver hair fell down.It's not that he hasn't imagined this possibility, but the sweet delusion is fleeting, followed by endless guilt.Can they be anything else?No, never.

Neil saw that the teacher was lying.

What to do next?How can I not look childish?Neil had fantasized about tonight's situation countless times, and things had indeed developed like this. Peleas couldn't accept his identity: his student, his caretaker, or... Hein Prospero son?Student and teacher, questioner and evader?In fact, he didn't know how to examine the relationship with Pelias.

The teacher is a resolute person, and this impression is deeply imprinted in Neil's childhood memory... He is the lamp that guards the snowy night, the big fur that gently protects the boy, and the trusted whisper.However, it wasn't until one day that the scholar who had run out of mana was about to disappear, that Neil suddenly realized that the teacher was actually just reluctantly supporting everything.

The paranoia of a martyr drove Peleas: he carefully calculated the remaining days to ensure that he could protect the students until he reached adulthood; he kept his mouth shut about the pain, preferring to endure the backlash of spells silently for more than ten years.Peleas was such a man.

Such a cowardly person who closed himself in the depths of the library.

"Pelia..." Neil took a deep breath, "I know you are looking for excuses for my 'weird behavior'. You want to say: I missed you and relied on you too much, that's why I just had that scene. Then I Let me tell you clearly now - my feelings for you are not what they used to be."

"You're confused, Neil, you just didn't see your own situation clearly, young people always..." Pelias panicked, trying to stop the students from saying.

"When I hugged you before, I just felt warm; before I held your hand, I just wanted to urge you to go home before the snow fell, but now..."

The scholar stood up suddenly: "It's the same now, there is no difference, no! You are mistaken."

The knight fell silent, and his eardrums were beating with his heartbeat.He subconsciously flexed his fingers, thinking of the half-formed hug just now, his lips were thirsty.

"But now, I can't help but want to kiss you."

"Neil Bernhard, please wake up!" Peleas said angrily.

"Pelia, is it just because I'm your student?"

"..."

Neal wanted to touch Peleas' cheek again, but his hand was thrown away.He squeezed the wrist to prevent Peleas from breaking free.The scholar's arm strength was no match for him, and he was unwilling to use spells to harm him.

"Let go, now!"

"Tell me, and I'll let go." Neil paid attention to the strength in his hand.

The whole garden of mirrors is like a memory, the layering of the water returns in silver, and the coolness is just a visual hue, because his mind is hot like a fever.

In the wordless confrontation, it was Peleas who finally compromised first.

"Neil Bernhard...you are the most cherished person in this world, my only student, my best friend's son..." Peleas said, the tough momentum gradually supported Can't go on, "You already know that your father, Hein Prospero, is to me..."

The scholar turned his head to look at the shadow in the water, his eyes were wet.

"Your father is an irreplaceable friend to me. If I really do that... I will not only harm you, but also the spirit of your parents in heaven. They entrusted you to me, then..." Pei Lias spoke extremely slowly, every word in his mouth stumbled as if they were splinters of glass.He really couldn't go on.

"You mean, my feelings for you have to be related to my father no matter what?" Just as he blurted out, Neil also tasted the sharpness of this angry sentence.He recognized the aroused gold in Peleas' eyes, like flames devouring a ball of oiled cloth.

Pelias opened his mouth to refute, but was choked again.For a long time, it was as if he didn't exist.

Words are broken glass, both Neil and Peleas share this sentiment deeply at this moment, they can no longer find the once perfect and clear order, and can no longer be spoken and understood smoothly.Even if the logic is generally smooth, the sentences he said are like fragments in his mouth, rubbing against each other's edges and corners and making rustling sounds.

The scholar calmed down and said patiently: "Neil, you are still very young. Sometimes...young people will be confused, um, confused...This is a misunderstanding or illusion, and I will help you straighten it out. .What happened tonight, we can pretend it never happened. Then, we can still...can..."

"Can you pretend nothing happened? Can you continue to live in the shadow of the sun?"

"It doesn't matter, how is your injury?" Pelias wanted to change the subject.

"This is very important, Perlia. You also know that at this point, there is no point in escaping."

"Then I refuse. Neil Bernhard, I reject your childish behavior, your impulsiveness. Please give up the illusion of me, it will not help you. And without me, you will have real and Your matching life... The root of all problems lies with me. I blamed me for not being decisive enough and not separating from you in time. Maybe 'that incident' should have happened 9 years ago, and a tombstone will never mislead you like this." Pei Lias pretended to be cold, but he looked like a man who was about to be completely crushed by life.

These words really broke Neil's defenses.Back then, he had failed too many people in order to save the teacher from death. He still regrets some things when he thinks about them, and at the same time, he is glad that he didn't let go.If Peleas died, he would never be able to take up the sword again.

Of course he knew that what the teacher said was angry.But the fake emotion was still powerful, and it was clear that both of them had tasted it.

His eyes were a little sour, and Neil smiled with the last of his strength: "You can just say it, I don't care... But you are always escaping, blindly seeking peace through self-flagellation. Peleas, do you really think No one can share with you? You are like a storm, always answering 'no'. But I can no longer let this cowardice, if you shut yourself in the back of the library, or shut yourself in the tower, then I'm going to open that door. I swear, I'll catch you, Peleas."

"...I'm leaving, going back to the academy."

"I'm not forcing your love, I just can't bear to lose you again. Perlia, if you still insist on leaving and abandoning me to the ranks of penitents... then you can go and I will never forgive myself."

Neil nodded to the teacher as a salute, and continued walking towards the outer castle.There could be no further delay, Trander was still waiting for him to retrieve the box containing the monster's head.

He couldn't resist saying one more word.

Pelias didn't say anything, just sat by the mirror spring with his back to him.That kind of calmness, or arrogance, which does not change his face, has returned to the scholar like frost.

So is the courtyard, like a robe that has never been wrinkled.The sense of tranquility that gives it its name fills the square spring pool.The two's feud, like all wars, was quickly forgotten.

Finally, Neal glanced back.

Layers of blue and light white, translucent, bitter... The blue he saw blurred himself.He saw, saw that all things gradually lost their boundaries in the night, like a halo clinging to a wick, the unreal blue flowed around that person.

But what consolation is there in such fantasies?Neil turned around with a wry smile.After all, he doesn't love him.