youth blank

After returning to school, life seems to be on track again.

Zhao Qiao and the others knew Wu Bai's past and didn't react much differently except that they admired Wu Bai more.

And Wu Bai's performance is even more calm. Maybe he didn't want to say that he had many concerns before, but after seeing everyone's sincerity to him, he thinks it's no big deal.

The only thing that has changed the most is Chu Yuan. He pretends to be nonchalant on the surface, and he is still the same as before, attending classes, eating together, and playing basketball with them.Every day is the same routine, there seems to be no difference between today and yesterday.

But when no one was paying attention, when he was alone occasionally, he was so tired, so frustrated and sad.And he can't show it yet, and he can't find someone to tell. There is no way to dispel it except for one person's pain and despair. Maybe there are, but he just wants to torture himself like this.

Is this the end?How did it come to this point?He felt that God played a cruel joke on him, gave him a beam of distant light, made him keep chasing that beam of light, kept running, kept working hard, and gave him an illusion, which made him full of hope And hope, it seems that happiness is in the not-too-distant future, as long as he works a little harder, it will be within reach.Then, when he was in the illusory illusion of happiness, when he was unprepared, he gave him a fatal blow, which made him fall to the ground suddenly, without even a chance to fight back.Only then did he realize that the so-called light did not exist from the very beginning, the mirage was at least a real illusion, and the hope and light he thought were all figments of his own imagination, which were impossible and non-existent from the very beginning. There was no chance, no possibility from the start.

He finally understood why Wu Bai was so good at fighting, why he didn't talk, why he had no friends, why he was so tolerant sometimes but so irritable.There are reasons for his abnormalities.

He had imagined many possibilities about Wu Bai's past, and he even thought about how to help Wu Bai open his heart knot, but he never thought that the source of Wu Bai's pain would be related to him, and he would directly report to him and Wu Bai. Bai Future was sentenced to death.

He also thought about it in self-defeating, or else he would just tell Wu Bai how he felt, and see what would happen to him. Anyway, how bad could it be?But he knew in his heart that no matter how bad it was, it could of course be worse.From then on, he and Wu Bai couldn't even be friends, Wu Bai would avoid him, never talk to him or smile at him, he didn't even have the chance to get close to Wu Bai and care about Wu Bai.At that time, he and Wu Bai really became the most familiar strangers.It is very likely that Wu Bai will loathe him, hate him, and treat him like a monster from now on.He would misunderstand that all the good things he did to Wu Bai in the past were for profit, and as long as he thought that this desire was for him, Wu Bai would definitely feel extremely angry and disgusted.Some people say that short-term pain is worse than long-term pain. Wouldn't it be better to just end this relationship?But as long as Chu Yuan thinks of the scene of being a stranger with Wu Bai and making Wu Bai hate and sad, he feels that it is better to die than this.Even if you can't get it, you can't stop wanting it. You cherish it too much, so you are even more afraid of losing it.

At this time, he almost hated Wu Bai, he hated Wu Bai's past, he hated Wu Bai's stubbornness, if Wu Bai wasn't so stubborn, maybe he still had a little chance to change him.

But in fact, he couldn't even bear to hate him, how could he blame Wu Bai?What's wrong with him?If you want to blame, you can blame myself, he thought, it would be great if I didn't like Wu Bai, if my feelings for Wu Bai were as simple as he is for me, that would be great.But there are no ifs, there have never been ifs.Just like he can't change Wu Bai's past and can't change Wu Bai.

When Wu Bai came home at night, Chu Yuan smiled and said "goodbye" to him. After closing the door, his smile fell down. Living with a mask every day is really tiring.

He tiredly took out a lot of cigarettes from the cabinet, one after another, the smoke was lingering, and soon the room was full of smoke.

In fact, he wanted to drink more. It was better to be drunk, but it was too painful to be sober.But he can't, he can't get up tomorrow when he's drunk, so how can he continue his false pretense?

The phone rang, but he didn't want to answer it, since it couldn't be Wu Bai's anyway.

Whatever, it doesn't matter, anyway, he will never get what he wants, so what else in this world deserves his attention?

At this moment, Dan Ying pushed open the door of Chu Yuan's room.

The smell of cigarettes in the room was choking, and there were cigarette butts all over the place. Chu Yuan lay on the ground, retching non-stop.

Dan Ying was so frightened that he rushed over to help Chu Yuan up. Chu Yuan was a little delirious, and it took him a lot of effort to see who the person in front of him was. He reluctantly said, "Don't tell Wu Bai..." and then Just passed out.

When I woke up from the hospital, the first sentence I saw when I saw Dan Ying was "Didn't tell...others, did you?"

Dan Ying sighed, "I asked for leave for you, and said that your father had something to do with you, but didn't say that you were in the hospital. I also told Wu Bai not to come to your house during this time." Then he scolded, "Are you Are you sick? Do you smoke so much at once? You think you are smoking a fairy medicine. If you smoke too much, you will get poisoned and die, do you know that!"

Chu Yuan smiled miserably, "I'm sick."

"Oh..." Dan Ying patted Chu Yuan's shoulder helplessly, "Tell me, did that Wu Bai reject you?"

Chu Yuan shook his head, he said, "I didn't tell him."

"Ah! Then why are you so desperate for life?"

Chu Yuan lowered his head and told Wu Bai's story.

There was a sudden silence in the room, and Dan Ying also sat without saying a word.It was quiet for a long time, and even the air seemed to be still for a long time.

"You were right before, but I didn't understand," Chu Yuan said, his voice hoarse, "I like other people's things, and I won't do it again in my life." He used to laugh at Dan Ying because he failed once Don't dare to do it again, you are a coward.Only now did he understand that he was actually more cowardly. He thought that if God wanted him to experience another encounter with Wu Bai, he would rather die than die, because it was really too painful.The seventh suffering in life is not getting what one wants, and he has had enough of it, probably because he was too arrogant and conceited before, wasting time without scruples, and thought he could play in the world without any worldly constraints, so now Everything is a punishment for him, tell him that you are just a pathetic and pitiful mortal, you are nothing special, in the vast world, you are just an ant controlled by fate at will, wishful thinking, wishing for nothing, wishing for nothing , unable to extricate themselves, unable to extricate themselves, in pain.

Dan Ying's frown deepened. He didn't feel the slightest bit of happiness because of Chu Yuan's approval of him. He understood Chu Yuan's pain, but his heart was not clearer than Chu Yuan's because of it.Loving someone is painful, not loving someone is also painful.Daring to love is pain, not loving is also pain.Are you the happiest when you know nothing?But people always yearn for warm creatures, don't they just say they don't want it, but they really don't want it at all, right?

As a friend, the only thing he can advise Chu Yuan is "Don't smoke like this in the future, or if something happens to you, others will feel sad."

After a long time, so long that Danying thought that Chu Yuan would not speak anymore, when he walked to the door and was about to leave, he heard Chu Yuan say "OK".He breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that he didn't have to go to his house to supervise him every day.

The author has something to say: Daily updates, 7.30 every night.Friends who like it, please bookmark and comment, I will seriously reply to every suggestion and comment from you, thank you (∩_∩)