Spring Summer Autumn Winter

In May, the temperature rose suddenly, and the humid and hot weather made people uncomfortable. Just a little walk would break out a thin layer of sweat, just like Yang Siyuan and Li Yu'an now.

The setting sun was sinking slowly in the window frame, only a few dim rays of light were still hanging on it, thinking about bringing some more brightness to the people in the house.

However, the two seemed to be looking forward to the arrival of night.

The clothes had been stripped off long ago, and the glasses were also pitifully slumped on the small table. The transparent lenses narrowed the picture, but the two naked bodies could still be seen clearly.

The skin is tightly attached to each other, and the slight sweat is the best adhesive, and the ups and downs brought by breathing and heartbeat squeeze out the only gap. For a moment, Yang Siyuan felt that the two of them were really glued together. together.

Li Yu'an's wet lips kissed his collarbone and shoulder blades, lingered on his chest for a while, then followed the outline of his ribs to kiss his side waist, and finally stopped on his tight belly.

Yang Siyuan couldn't bear it anymore, and took a low breath.

Li Yu'an stopped when he heard the sound, and slowly straightened his upper body.

Just when Yang Siyuan was ready to be raped, he saw Li Yu'an straddling him, helping him to sit down slowly.

No condom, no lube.The roughest, raw, painful, intimate sex.

Yang Siyuan's chaotic brain finally reacted when he felt enveloped by a familiar warmth.

In front of him was Li Yu'an sitting on him, with a good-looking skeleton and lines, a rare fair skin for men due to long hours of indoor work, old scars left on the road of growth, and flushed cheeks caused by strenuous exercise.

Perhaps because of the pain caused by being penetrated, his jaw was slightly raised, his brows were slightly frowned, his eyes were half closed, and his long eyelashes covered his confused gaze.

Yang Siyuan had never observed him from this angle, and only now did he realize that his lover was even more beautiful than he imagined.

It's just this posture that really surprised him.

"Yu, Yu'an?" Yang Siyuan was surprised by his initiative, but at the same time was disturbed by his excessive initiative.

This position brought the distance between the two of them closer than ever before. When they sat down, it seemed that they had been directly stabbed in the heart and even the throat, making Li Yuan unable to even make a sound.

He seemed a little overwhelmed, with both hands resting on Yang Siyuan's stomach, neither moving nor not moving.

Yang Siyuan saw his nervousness and quickly covered his hand.

Looking at Li Yu'an who couldn't help lowering his head, Yang Siyuan couldn't help sighing softly.

No matter how proactive he was, Li Yu'an was still a shy person.Why are you so hard on yourself?

Seeing that he wanted to move but didn't dare to move, Yang Siyuan sat up, supported his shoulders and turned over, and pressed him down again.

"You can't mess around on your own initiative..." He touched Li Yu'an's face, smiled helplessly, withdrew himself from his body, and put on the condom obediently.

"Can you tell me... what's going on?"

In a hurry, without lubricant, he entered slowly, while diverting his attention by asking questions.

"Well!"

Li Yu'an's neck stretched out in a seductive arc.

Yang Siyuan held back his desire, stopped at the end without moving, bent down and kissed him, and asked softly, "What's the matter?"

"What's wrong..." Li Yu'an said vaguely.

Yang Siyuan took a deep breath: "I'm a little scared that you are so proactive suddenly, is... Is there something I haven't done enough?"

Not only scared, but panicked to death.When will Li Yu'an be able to accept such a posture - exposing his body to people's sight like this, no one is holding him under him, no one is covering his scars all over his body.

He is taciturn and doesn't know how to express his love properly. The sentence "I love you" has only been brewing through the screen for a year, but now he is so indulgent on the bed, which reminds Yang Siyuan of the same initiative in the movie in order to keep the cheating boyfriend. the hostess.

"No," Li Yuan regained consciousness, "It's me, I didn't do enough."

Yang Siyuan still looked at him suspiciously.

"I can't help you." After a few seconds of silence, Li Yu'an continued, "I want you to know that I love you."

"Can you say that again."

"I want you to know that I love you."

"Say it again……"

"I love you, Yang Siyuan, I love you."

The light on the window frame lost its strength and gradually weakened. The moonlight was stained, and the flesh glowed with a cold light.

Light is cold, but blood and heart are hot.

Yang Siyuan couldn't stand Li Yu'an's confession, and repeated those three words in his mind over and over again, and couldn't help eating his body roughly.

He didn't stop until the strength of the people below him was almost exhausted.

He likes to lie on Li Yu'an's body after the affair is over, and he really wants to make him believe that it wasn't just a dream.

"Does it hurt?" he asked.

"A little bit..." Li Yu'an was so tired that he couldn't make a sound, his voice was a little hoarse.

Yang Siyuan said helplessly: "You should stop saying that sentence in the future...I really can't bear it."

Li Yu'an put his arms around his shoulders, and his body odor mixed with sweat filled his nostrils.

"I'm telling the truth," he said softly. "I have nothing to give you... but I also want to... protect you."

I love you, but I have nothing to give you, I can only give you my body, my heart, and half of my life.

The body kissed by you, the heart mended by you, the half life filled by you.

"..."

Yang Siyuan was buried in his neck, he couldn't see his expression clearly, but he could feel his body stiff for a while.

After a long while, Yang Siyuan rubbed his face and whispered, "Why are you so good...how are you so good..."

Repeated over and over again, and finally whimpered.

Li Yu'an was startled, and quickly patted him on the back and asked, "What's wrong?"

"I'm graduating and I'm going to work soon. I want to go back, let's go back and nest with you..."

These words are obviously unwise, and Yang Siyuan will definitely not do this, he is just venting, expressing the purest desire in his heart.

He was talking, and Li Yuan knew it very well, so he didn't speak, but just listened to him quietly.

"I've listened to you. I haven't talked to my mother about us recently. She's been urging me to get a girlfriend. She's been urging me...I don't want to go on like this. I don't want you to wait..."

Li Yuan's nose was a little sour.

"Don't worry, don't worry. I won't go, I'll wait, it's okay, I'm willing to wait."

He patted Yang Siyuan's back clumsily, like a child who had no candy comforting another child who had lost candy.

"Concentrate on studying, don't get distracted, and graduate first, okay?" he said again.

He was really worried about Yang Siyuan's current situation. He knew that his life was not easy. Although outsiders saw him as an excellent and powerful Yang Siyuan, he just hid everything well, but these things were hidden. The small waves that rise up will one day explode into an unbearable tsunami...

If only he could be with him, if only he could be with him...

Li Yu'an gritted his teeth, once again hating his own incompetence.

Yang Siyuan lay on him and sobbed for a while, his voice gradually weakened, and he fell into a deep sleep, but he kept crying in his dream.

Midsummer, Hangzhou.

It has been a month since Yang Siyuan graduated, and finally he no longer has to communicate with the studio online. After the negotiation, he came to work in Hangzhou.

The studio is in a small villa far away from the city center. The environment is good, but the transportation is a little inconvenient, and it is a little far away from the place he rented.

He is the youngest among the staff and also has the least experience, so he spends a lot of time in the studio learning from others. Fortunately, his colleagues get along very well and are willing to share and communicate with each other.

The fulfillment of work made Yang Siyuan temporarily forget his previous troubles and disappointments. Although he was severely scolded when he told Chen Limei that he would come to Hangzhou to paint, there was no disturbance in his heart.

He knew that his choice was right, it just needed some time to prove it.He believes in his ability to study and work, and he is not afraid of Chen Limei's denial and doubt.

At the end of July, he quit the house and found a room near the studio, which would save him from wasting time on the road.Since then, he has been completely immersed in his work, except for talking with Li Yuan on the phone, he hardly interacts with people outside of work.

Of course, Chen Limei was also included.

I just don't know if it's because the older you get, the softer your heart becomes, or because Chen Limei really felt that she scolded a little too much, and she actually took the initiative to talk to Yang Siyuan on this day.

"How is Hangzhou?" The voice processed by the electric current was distorted, and Yang Siyuan was a little stunned.

The night was dark and the lights were blinding. He was tired while walking on the street and listening to the phone.

"Very good, I like it very much."

The voice was low and tired, the accent of an adult.

"Oh, what about the job, how is the salary?"

"pretty good."

After arguing countless times, Chen Limei probably felt that Yang Siyuan could not be brought back no matter what, but she didn't have any big opinions on his work.

"Whether the rent is expensive or not, buy what you need."

"It's okay, I can afford it. Nothing is missing."

The blunt questions and answers are almost like a conversation with strangers.

"Oh... Is there anything at home that I want to send to you? You didn't seem to take all the things with you when you came back last time."

Last time, it was winter vacation.At that time, I was thinking about nesting with Li Yuan all day long, and I really didn't pack my luggage seriously.But after so long, he didn't feel that something was missing.If there was something really missing, it could only be that Li Yu'an was missing.

He knew that what Chen Limei said was actually to ease the relationship between the two of them, and sending luggage was just an excuse.

In fact, he himself didn't want to make the relationship between mother and child too rigid, but after all these years, he was really tired.

"There's nothing left behind... Oh, you can send me those books, and those shirts in the closet." He responded casually.

The damp wind of the summer night blew by, and the corners of his clothes were picked up, some dye was stained on them, and he had to wash them off when he got home.

This dress was his and Li Yuan's "couple shirt", but Li Yuan seldom wore it out, either it was neatly folded and placed in the closet, or it was fun to wear indoors.It seems that the clothes are very expensive.

He was approaching a fork in the road, and there was a vending machine in front of him. He suddenly wanted to buy a can of beer.

"Books? How many books are there on your desk?"

"Ah."

"Oh...where are the shirts, wait a minute, I'll go and see what's available."

There were footsteps and the sound of the door opening on the other end of the phone. Chen Limei must have gone to his room to look for a shirt.

"There are two white ones, one checkered one, and... eh?" Chen Limei counted the clothes, but suddenly stopped, as if seeing something strange.

"What's wrong?" Yang Siyuan stood still in front of the vending machine, randomly picked out a can of beer, and stuffed a few coins into it.

Li Yu'an didn't like him drinking, he was afraid of hurting his health, so he would always stop him.

The beer cans came out, and the aluminum skin collided with the metal groove, making a crisp sound.

It's been a long time since I've had a drink, if Li Yu'an was by my side, he would have snatched it up, right?Or, frowning to stop him, and then volunteering to soothe him with a kiss?have no idea.

All questions that cannot be guessed are because the parties do not want to guess.What's the use of guesswork?He just wanted to see exactly what he would do.

They haven't seen each other for almost three months.

Yang Siyuan took a breath, bent down and picked up the beer.

"You...why do you have a plaid scarf? Don't you like wearing scarves?" Chen Limei asked.

Yang Siyuan was taken aback for a moment, and after thinking about it, he realized that it was Li Yu'an's scarf. He had tied it around his neck when he went home during the winter vacation, but he forgot to take it back.

The pull ring was pulled away, and some foam splashed out with a "pop" sound. He took a gulp, and a familiar bitterness invaded his throat.

Get comfortable.

"Oh, that's..." He paused, "Li Yu'an's."

If Li Yuan was beside him, he would definitely cover his mouth.It was impossible for him to make Yang Siyuan so impulsive, but only Yang Siyuan knew that since he fell in love with Li Yu'an, it was already doomed that he would never be able to calm down again.

Sure enough, Chen Limei fell into silence for a while, and after a long time she asked: "Why do you still keep his things?"

The voice is suppressed and trembling, like a pair of hands stopping at the door of truth, trembling because they dare not face the world behind the door.

Yang Siyuan gulped down a few more gulps, the alcohol fled around, not so much entered his stomach, but mixed into his blood, penetrated into his brain nerves, and stimulated him with a bitter taste.

If Li Yu'an was by his side...he would definitely get anxious when he saw himself drinking like this, but he didn't know how to persuade him with words, so he would definitely hug him, kiss him, and comfort him clumsily...

Just thinking about it, Yang Siyuan felt as if he really wanted to be hugged, it was so warm.

I miss him so much.

"Why don't you talk? Ask you, why do you still keep his things?"

Chen Limei became a little anxious, and raised her voice slightly.

Alcohol doesn't work anymore, should we try cigarettes?

Yang Siyuan crushed the jar and threw it into the trash can beside him.

He closed his eyes and let the wind blow, thinking of countless nights of working with Li Yuan, watching movies, shopping at the night market, hugging and kissing.

Life is so beautiful, it should be shared with lovers.

It should be.

"He's my boyfriend," he said.

The summer is sweltering and sweltering, and Li Yu'an is either studying or writing every day. The air conditioner blows in the house and makes him feel dizzy. He went out for a walk, but he came back with a fever.

This physique is really uncomfortable, and he didn't want to tell Yang Siyuan, so he just lay on the bed by himself.

Yang Siyuan said that Hangzhou is very hot, and it's almost the end of summer now. I don't know if it's still too hot there?

Yang Siyuan has strong firepower and is very afraid of heat. He may not be able to do without the air conditioner, but the air conditioner is not good if it is blown for a long time. Has he paid attention to it?

These problems were not problems in the first place, and they could be solved casually by chatting and making a phone call, but these days their contact has decreased a lot, and he really doesn't know what's going on with Yang Siyuan now.

Yang Siyuan has been very busy and tired for a while, and his mood is not very good.He said it was because of work, but Li Yu'an remembered that he actually liked this job very much, and he had never been like this before.

He was puzzled, but he didn't dare to ask. He never asked Yang Siyuan what he didn't want him to know.

Yang Siyuan was under a lot of pressure. He was alone in a foreign land and only came home at midnight every day. It was impossible for him to take good care of himself.

He knew all this, so the idea of ​​going to Hangzhou to accompany him became stronger and stronger, and he even had an impulsive idea.

As autumn approached, he began to write his first novel.

So far, he hasn't told Yang Siyuan that he has resigned from his job in the bar. He has been thinking about telling him after he has made some achievements. Otherwise, with Yang Siyuan's personality, he will definitely worry that he will not be able to support himself.

The novel was serialized in a magazine, which was indeed much more stable than before, and the magazine also said that if the response was good, it would publish a book for him.

He felt in his heart that he could already tell Yang Siyuan, so he made a video call to him one night.

To his surprise, Yang Siyuan hung up on him and called him half a minute later, it was just a voice call.

"Siyuan? Did I disturb you?" Li Yu'an asked in a low voice, afraid that it was inconvenient for him to hang up the phone.

The other end of the phone was silent for a while, and then he heard Yang Siyuan's hoarse voice: "Ah...no, no, no."

He had a weird voice, and Li Yuan knew his voice too well, so he frowned immediately and asked, "Have you been drinking?"

"Ah? No, no, how can there be?"

Unlike the exaggerated big tongue in TV dramas, Li Yuan could hear that he was trying to pretend to be sober.

The sound of opening and closing the door came from Yang Siyuan's side, and the moment the door opened, there was loud music outside.

"Are you at the bar now? Why don't you go home so late?" Li Yu'an was anxious.

"Ah, come back, come back, I'll come back now." Yang Siyuan couldn't pretend anymore, and his words became confused. "Home, home... where is home... where is my home, where is it..."

Then there was a muffled sound, probably because he fell down.

Li Yu'an stood up almost reflexively, and took two steps forward anxiously.

"You, are you alone? Is there anyone else around you?!" He panicked, his hands trembling, and his eyes were red.

Why, why am I not by your side? !

"By my side...by my side, there's no one around me...no, no...no..." Yang Siyuan's voice sounded extremely uncomfortable, like heart-piercing, wanting to cry but desperately suppressing it.

Li Yuan was going crazy.

Why don't human beings have superpowers, why can't they travel through time and space?

"Siyuan, Siyuan, listen to me, you...wash your face, wash your face and calm down, then call a car to go home, okay?"

He tried his best to steady himself, his nails digging into his flesh, but he still couldn't calm down.

A distant and strange city, living alone, getting drunk alone in a bar... What happened to him?What if something goes wrong?

Yang Siyuan didn't know if he heard it, but he was still repeating "no" mechanically, as if possessed.

Li Yu'an was on the verge of crying.

He kept calling Yang Siyuan, for fear that something might happen to him in the bar.

Until someone else's voice appeared on the phone, as if someone had found him and wanted to hug him.

Li Yu'an didn't care too much, so he raised the volume and yelled twice into the phone, and someone over there quickly picked up Yang Siyuan's phone.

Fortunately, the other party was a very enthusiastic person, so Li Yu'an asked him to call a car for Yang Siyuan to take him home, so he felt relieved.

The moment Yang Siyuan put down his phone after making sure that he was safe, he collapsed on the ground as if he had collapsed, only then did he realize that his back was soaked in cold sweat.

No, this won't work, Yang Siyuan needs him.

Without a few seconds of hesitation, he decided to implement that bold idea.

He took a few deep breaths, found a number from the address book, and dialed it.

"Hi, hello, is this Mr. Tao? I am the owner of the room in Siji Hutong."

The night was dark, it was already one o'clock in the morning, Li Yu'an finished talking about the matter, but still couldn't fall asleep.

He was still worried about Yang Siyuan, and his mind was full of accidents that might happen to him.After much deliberation, he simply didn't sleep, and waited dryly for the dawn, thinking that he would call him after he had slept enough and woke up.

He waited like this until two o'clock in the afternoon the next day, and he felt that he probably had enough time, so he dialed it.

However, there was a completely unfamiliar voice on the other end of the phone.

"Hello? Are you a family member of Mr. Yang Siyuan?"

Li Yu'an's eyes darkened and he almost fainted.