Spring Summer Autumn Winter

The weather suddenly turned cold, and the night wind blew, and the wooden windows that had been painted and mottled all the year round squeaked twice, like a veteran border guard who was dying, and couldn't resist the cold wind with all his strength.

The lights in the room were turned off, leaving only the desk lamp next to the bed on, illuminating the corner of the bed.

The left arm didn't seem to have any blood, and the blue blood vessels stood out as if they were not blocked by muscle fat, making the arm look so thin that it was frighteningly thin.

And on the pale flesh, there was a long bloodstain horizontally. The bloodstain seemed to be scratched by something that was not sharp. Packed with fine particles.

Li Yu'an looked down slightly, and touched a syringe filled with clean water from the bed with his right hand, washed away the particles on the blood stain, and then wiped it with a cotton swab dipped in liquid medicine.There was no pause in the whole process, as if dealing with a broken object, it seemed a bit ruthless, even if the medicine dripped on the wound, it didn't even frown.

After finishing the treatment, he took the bandage, bit one end in his mouth, and stretched the other end to wrap it around.The cold white cloth covered the bloodstains of fangs and claws, but it couldn't cover the scars and pain it caused.

Although I am used to it, the pain will not be less because of the habit.He took a deep breath, leaned against the head of the bed, and closed his eyes wearily.

There will be scars...it will be so long, it will be scary...he thought to himself.

Unconsciously, he touched the thick bandage, but his fingers moved up again, and stopped on the upper arm hidden under the short sleeve, rubbing it back and forth in small increments.

There are old scars crossed there, reminding him of who he is.

He raised his hand to turn off the desk lamp, sat quietly, then suddenly opened his eyes and looked towards the bedside on the right.

Of course he couldn't see anything in the dark, but he knew that there was a bottle of medicine lying there, which could make him sleep peacefully for half his life.

He kept this movement silent for a long time, finally turned his head, and covered his left arm with his right hand.

"Li Yu'an...do you know what you're doing..." He finally spoke out, talking to himself.

"do you know……"

He really hoped that someone could answer him, but in the long night, only the wind kept him company, and he couldn't give him half a word as an answer.

The results of the entrance exam and the overall ranking have been out for several days. Yang Siyuan thought that he would be excited and surprised when he saw the ranking and score, but when he saw his name with the transcript, he just relaxed. He breathed a sigh of relief, not the slightest bit happy.

"Lu Xuan, Yang Siyuan, Chen Jiaqiao, the above students are now wearing school uniforms and jackets to take pictures of the honor roll! Say it again..."

In the third self-study class in the afternoon, there was a notice from the director of teaching with a strong accent on the radio. When he read the word "Yang Siyuan", there was still some applause in the class.

Yang Siyuan put down his pen, politely bowed and smiled at those who applauded, then rolled up his sleeves and went downstairs.

"Okay, look this way, don't blink."

The autumn sun in the afternoon gently caressed the earth, the light shone on Yang Siyuan's side face, and the camera clicked, freezing the young man smiling in the breeze.

About a week later, his grades and photos will be enlarged and printed on the honor roll, and then hung on the wall of the teaching building, receiving the admiration or envy of students, teachers and even parents.

"Okay, after the filming, you can go back to class."

Before leaving, he looked at the wall where the honor roll was hung.

The workers are busy dismantling the list that has nearly faded since the last monthly exam.

In a trance, a picture suddenly flashed in his mind-under the same sunlight, a cold face on the list was coated with a layer of golden light, making it look extremely gentle.

"I want to drink milk tea." He turned around and muttered as he went upstairs.

It's just that he rarely interacts with the girls in his class, and since Fan Li left, he has lost the channel to order milk tea.

"Hey, what's there to drink, let's go at night." He said to himself.

Unexpectedly, as soon as he finished comforting himself like this, Chen Miao ran up to look for him after class and called him out again.Yang Siyuan sweated silently, thinking that if others didn't know, they would think they were dating, and he, the middleman, was aggrieved enough.

Chen Miao first asked Yang Siyuan's grades in a friendly way to start the conversation, but Yang Siyuan, who was already numb, turned her back with a single sentence.

"Really, just tell me what you have. I haven't seen you be so polite to someone before?" He smiled lightly, rubbing his chin and teasing.

Chen Miao curled her lips: "What, I gave him something..."

"Ah." Yang Siyuan's eyes lit up.

"He accepted it?!" Chen Miao had a misunderstanding of Yang Siyuan's facial expression.

"Ah, no. I was just about to tell you about this, and I'll send you this weekend..."

The smile gradually froze, and Chen Miao's face was full of disappointment: "...Forget it, if you don't give it to him, it won't be interesting for others to take it. I don't want it."

She leaned against the wall of the corridor, lowered her head and snapped her fingers, her black hair was curled up in the crescent of her neck, making her face smaller, which seemed a bit charming.

It's so cute and cute, it's rare for a boy not to like it, right?

Yang Siyuan cleared his throat, thought about his words, and said, "I don't know much about this... chasing people, but I think... Li Yu'an... um..."

"What's wrong?" Chen Miao asked with big watery eyes.

"Let me put it this way...I don't think you two know each other very well...so don't pay too much attention to it..." He tried his best to express the point of view of "how can a love that starts with a face and a heart go smoothly" as tactfully as possible.

Chen Miao tilted her head, frowned and retorted: "Because he didn't give me a chance to know him?"

It may be that she is rarely rejected by boys, Chen Miao sounded a little angry when she said this.

"...Well, don't you have his QQ?" Yang Siyuan scratched his head, suddenly remembered that he had only communicated with him through text messages for so long, and did not add each other to QQ.

"He's not online."

"……Oh."

When the preparatory bell rang, Chen Miao was about to leave as soon as she waved her hands. Yang Siyuan hurriedly asked, "What about the things you gave? You really don't want it?"

"Throw it away!" Chen Miao shouted without turning her head.

"……Oh."

After class, Yang Siyuan was biting his pen to look at the math problems, and when he was wandering among the lines of numbers, his mind suddenly wandered, and an idea popped up for no reason—I seem to know Li Yu'an better than Chen Miao?

etc?Am I the person around Li Yuan who knows him best?I'm not his only friend, am I?

No, there are still many things I don't know about him...

Hmm, I sure don't know him that well...

Yang Siyuan, who made a mistake, nodded along his own train of thought, and was almost poked in the mouth by a pen.After recovering, he patted himself on the head, cursed, "Why can't this problem be fixed?", and then continued to work on the questions.

At that time, he didn't think about why he insisted on convincing himself that he didn't understand Li Yu'an.

He was subconsciously avoiding, um, subconsciously.

But the subconscious also made him want to get closer...

So he showed up at the milk tea shop on time at night.

The milk tea shop doesn’t seem to have autumn uniforms. Li Yu’an wore a beige long-sleeved pair under the light blue uniform, which looked quite warm, but Yang Siyuan didn’t know why. to touch his cuff.

"Hey, are you cold? Could it be too..." Before the word "thin" could be said, Li Yu'an suddenly withdrew his hand, his face was a little uneasy, and his eyes were dodging.

Yang Siyuan was taken aback for a moment, but didn't react much.

"It's not cold, it's autumn clothes." Li Yuan said sullenly.

"Ah, as long as it's not cold..." Yang Siyuan said awkwardly as the atmosphere was a bit delicate.

"The results of the entrance exam are out." Li Yu'an changed the subject.

"Well, it's out. I'm quite satisfied." Yang Siyuan didn't bother to ask, but just nodded in response, but he silently remembered that he might not like being touched by others.

Li Yu'an nodded slightly when he heard the words, but didn't say anything.

It was almost closing time, and he cleared the table skillfully.Although he felt that he was a little slow today, Yang Siyuan didn't think much about it.

"Well...can I ask you something? You can say it if you want to, and you don't say it if you don't want to. I just think...well...we can be considered good friends...well, I don't know you very well... "Yang Siyuan stammered, feeling that the past of talking about stand-up comedy in class meetings is gone.

"Speak straight."

I'm pretending to be cold again, Yang Siyuan thought to himself.But of course he couldn't expose Li Yu'an, so he asked cautiously: "You said before that you have to pay off debts...it seems like a lot. But waiters and manuscript submissions...shouldn't make much money, right? With your ability, you can definitely make money after graduating from college. Get a good job..."

While talking, he observed Li Yu'an's face, and saw that although Li Yu'an's face remained unchanged, his eyes became more and more empty, so his voice gradually weakened.

In fact, he still has a lot to say, such as why you don't consider student loans, why don't you ask relatives for help, and why you... have to pay off your debts.

He didn't have time to ask, but when these questions formed in his mind, he really felt that he really didn't understand Li Yu'an.

It turned out that all the familiarity and intimacy he thought he was right were superficial.

Yang Siyuan suddenly felt a little frustrated.

"..." Li Yu'an didn't answer, changed his clothes silently and came back, turned off the light with a bang, "Let's go."

Yang Siyuan didn't expect to hear any decent answers, he could feel Li Yu'an's alienation from others, so he just nodded as if nothing happened, and pushed the car to follow.

As the night got colder and colder, he couldn't help wrapping up his school uniform tightly, and then glanced at Li Yu'an, who was only wearing a long sleeve.

The night wind blew, and the light-colored clothes were moved. He even wondered if there was only a skeleton under the clothes.

Unable to bear it anymore, he finally asked, "Are you really not cold?"

Li Yu'an glanced at him inexplicably, and said coldly: "This is autumn, and I'm wearing autumn clothes."

"Ok."

Probably because the topic at the milk tea shop was too sensitive, neither of them knew how to turn the page, so they had to remain silent.

Creaking, the soles of shoes grinding on the gravel road covered with sand became the only sound along the way.

"Woof! Wang Wang!" At the entrance of the alley, another voice finally appeared.

Yang Siyuan looked down and saw that it was the long-haired puppy frantically wagging its tail and jumping around.

He stared at it for a while, then burst out laughing suddenly, pointed at the puppy and asked, "No, I said how did you raise it, it's still dusty, and you haven't bathed him yet?"

Li Yu'an was startled when he heard the words, and replied: "Isn't he originally gray?"

"..." Yang Siyuan was also stunned, holding back his forehead with a suppressed smile, and said, "He's obviously white... isn't he hungry? He's been smelling it all the time."

"Yeah, I'm going to buy him something to eat."

"Okay, I'll wait here and play with it for a while. Come on! Jump!" Yang Siyuan got into the car, squatted down and played happily with the puppy.

"……match made in heaven."

The puppy seemed to like Yang Siyuan very much, and kept rubbing against Yang Siyuan. He didn't think it was dirty, so he teased it in different ways.When Li Yuan came back, he was shaking hands with the puppy friendly.

"Hey! It tastes so good!" Yang Siyuan sighed sincerely when he turned his head and saw Li Yu'an holding a pack of big vacuum sausages.

"..." Li Yuan bit open the package, took another small piece of sausage and chewed it carefully.

"Oh my god, it's so big, can you eat it by yourself???" Yang Siyuan was dumbfounded.

"I choked once." Li Yu'an also squatted down and spat out the chewed sausage into his hand.The puppy saw him, and immediately sat down obediently, staring at his hand with his peasy eyes.As soon as Li Yuan reached out his hand, it immediately lowered its head and started eating.

Seeing the tacit cooperation between one person and one dog, this situation must have become commonplace.

Yang Siyuan squatted next to Li Yu'an, and couldn't help but sneak a look at him.

The lights at the entrance of the alley were too dim, and his face was shrouded in dim light, which reminded Yang Siyuan of the literary films he had seen.

He squatted there quietly with one leg, looking down at the puppy who was eating deliciously, although his palms were a little itchy, but he didn't move.

Really gentle.

Yang Siyuan suddenly thought of the moments when he had the same thought.

Could this person be more gentle?

What kind of person is he?

The puppy ate to its heart's content, barked twice and then wagged its tail, which shook Yang Siyuan's thoughts of flying to the sky back.

He looked at his watch, it was already very late, and just as he got up to say goodbye, he heard Li Yuan maintain that posture and whispered: "I don't know."

"Huh? Don't know what?"

"The question you asked me at the milk tea shop. I can't answer you...because I don't know the answer..."

Yang Siyuan was taken aback.He didn't expect to hear the answer from Li Yu'an's mouth, but he didn't expect that the answer didn't exist at all...

In the cool breeze, Yang Siyuan looked at him with his back turned to him, him who was extremely gentle, him who pretended to be indifferent, him who was confused and helpless... Then he seemed to be pricked by some flower thorn, and his heart felt a little tingling.He slowly grabbed the hem of his clothes, pretended to be relaxed, smiled exaggeratedly, and said loudly: "When I am on vacation next time, let's take a bath for Bengda together!"

He was afraid that he would not hear the answer, and he knew that meant that Li Yu'an had locked himself completely.

He was terrified, his nails sank into his flesh, but he seemed to lose his sense of pain.

It’s okay, it’s okay, it seems that after half a century, he finally heard his voice, like a stream melting under the cracked ice——

"Ah."