after the canary rebellion

A week later, someone was getting married on the floor where Lin did not live, and he received wedding candies at the door. The two chatted for a while, and the groom-to-be mentioned He Xiuze: "I haven't seen Xiao He recently. It seems that there will be more candies today."

They walked out of the apartment together, Lin didn't go to take the bus, the other party wanted to buy breakfast, glanced at the shop, called He Xiuze's name in surprise, and waved again.

He Xiuze walked over slowly carrying a bag of steamed buns, with two boxes of wedding candies stuffed into his arms, he belatedly congratulated, seeing a pair of Q-version images printed on the wedding candies, and asked: "Did your wife draw it? The drawing is very cute, and I am very happy."

After the groom-to-be left, Lin Mei said, "Is your department busy recently?"

"I've been busy all the time, but the psychiatry department is very free. Would you like to sit down?"

"No need." Lin didn't refuse flatly, "Since you want to be happy, does the person you sent flowers have something to do with it?"

He Xiuze's expression became serious. He is usually humorous and funny, but he is rarely so serious. He said, "He is probably angry with me."

It seems that there are other reasons for his busyness, Lin Mei said: "Is it these few days?"

He Xiuze pursed his lips, quickly adjusted, pretending to be relaxed and said: "It's these few years."

"Are you sure he likes you, not you?"

"He liked me first, so it doesn't prevent me from liking him later." He Xiuze said.

"Understood." Lin Mo said, "Why did you only like him when he stopped?"

Dr. He couldn't answer, and spoke weakly: "Since liking doesn't need a reason, there is no time and place limitation. Having said that, I'm really curious about you. How likely do you think it is for a relationship to be reunited?"

Lin didn't say: "How can we generalize? Everyone has different personalities. What's the use of asking my opinion? You must first consider what kind of person the other person is."

The bus is coming, He Xiuze said softly: "It still has reference value."

Lin Momo: "What do you mean?"

"It's time for you to get in the car, remember to take the coins." He Xiuze pointed to the slowly stopped car.

Lin didn't count four coins in a hurry, even if he continued to chat, he couldn't provide any effective advice to He Xiuze.

He sincerely thinks that He Xiuze asked the wrong person. Under normal circumstances, there are only two ways to do this. Either cut off the relationship cleanly, or let go of the past and try to accept it.But Lin didn't force himself into the third way, which made both of them unhappy, while Xie Zaiyuan was hotly chasing him.

Cutting off the relationship or trying to accept, which one can be equal to the pleasure of torturing each other in front of you?For Lin Mei, everything is far behind, and it feels so good to be confident.

For example, Xie Zaiyuan didn't do enough to really impress him, or he was afraid of being hurt again and refused to waver easily. Lin didn't like to say these high-sounding beautiful words, that was an excuse.He had never been loved so much by his sweetheart, and he didn't want to let go when he got the sweetness, but he didn't want to buy it either.

"What reference value can there be?" Lin didn't murmur, his body swayed as the bus turned.

Before He Xiuze asked, he hadn't thought about it so much, he did what he wanted according to his own mood, thinking not to delve into it further, but he was distracted frequently, recalling the rainy night when he quarreled with Xie Zaiyuan, and he didn't even open the store door. Discover.

Xie Zaiyuan saw that Lin was not standing in a daze with his hair on his back, and he didn't respond when he came to him, so he gently shook his arm.Lin didn't immediately stand up straight, looked at Xie Zaiyuan: "What's the matter?"

This store also had Xie Zaiyuan's money invested in it, and the question seemed to be nonsense. Immediately, Lin Mei fixed his gaze on Xie Zaiyuan's hand: "Are you here to cook?"

Xie Zaiyuan asked modestly: "Can't you cook here?"

Lin didn't make way for Xie Zaiyuan: "You can do whatever you want."

After the simple and light meal was ready, Xie served it on the table in the courtyard. Lin couldn't help asking, "When did you learn to cook?"

"It was the first time I did it that day." Xie Zaiyuan said, "But it's not very tasty, I was too impulsive."

Today's dishes look much better than that night's, and it can be seen that they have practiced hard.Lin didn't look at it, and didn't intend to sit down, and said, "I can't see that you are still interested in cooking."

"Not interested, I learned it specially for you."

Lin didn't know what his purpose was. Xie Zaiyuan saw the appearance of retching as soon as he ate in the hospital, and he should have guessed what happened when he left the hospital to eat. He said: "You just want to watch me eat .”

"Would it be nicer to remove the last two words, or are you unable to eat?"

"Is it useful to stimulate me? I simply can't eat what you cooked."

Xie Zaiyuan took out his mobile phone: "Then I'll ask the hotel to deliver the meal right away, and I'll make a portion of everything on the menu, so that it doesn't suit your appetite."

"Wait." Lin didn't stop, then pulled the stool and sat opposite him, making a compromise, "Sorry, I can eat all of a sudden."

He picked up a chopstick of green bamboo shoots. It is not easy for a novice to cook it like this. He commented: "It's quite talented."

"I broke two pots at home, and the master saw that I had nothing to do." Xie Zaiyuan said.

Lin didn't put down his job, and said, "Your pots are bought randomly in my supermarket, and the quality is not very good."

"Can't eat anymore? The cats you feed eat more than you."

"Occasionally loss of appetite." Lin didn't look down at the table of dishes. He should eat something more, but he couldn't swallow it.

"So it's like this. Anyway, I've finished my work last week, and I'll come here to cook every day from now on. Will your appetite improve tomorrow?"

Lin was not defeated, he picked up the bowl again, and tasted two more ribs.

Xie Zaiyuan watched him chew and eat slowly. Since sending him and Xie You home last week, the two have not seen each other again. He worked overtime to finish most of the work at this stage. Cai Lianshou didn't know that Lin didn't see him for so long and didn't think of him. According to Xie You, Lin was silent most of the time every day, and he didn't know what he was thinking about.

"You were much more lively before, but now you don't have any words."

Lin didn't support his head, and finished half a bowl of rice with difficulty: "I have nothing to say when I see you now, and it doesn't make sense with you."

"You are sick, and you can't reach a reconciliation with yourself." Xie Zaiyuan said.

"It can be reconciled. I told me in my heart that I want you to disappear in front of my eyes. I agree. Do you agree?"

"Isn't it true that you just want to reject all approaches?"

"Don't be so general, draw a range, I'm the one who rejects you."

Xie Zaiyuan picked up food for him, and said, "I'll also draw a range. You have a line in your heart. Once you need to be cured, the alarm will be sounded, and no one can jump over it."

Lin Mei's voice suddenly turned cold: "So you'd better not mention the relevant words."

"Eat more." Xie Zaiyuan persuaded him, and indeed he stopped talking about medical treatment.

Lin didn't stare at the egg flower in his bowl, and slowly took a bite.

It can be soft and hard on the surface, and you can come and go in form, but there is nothing that Lin can't accept. He doesn't want to treat illnesses.

He knew that he had depression and would get better after taking medicine, but besides the side effects, he couldn't figure out why he had to get better?This will turn oneself into a healthy person in the public sense, and it will also bring a huge impact.

After treatment, his mentality changed completely. In his eyes, the meaning of many things will be completely turned upside down. He may regret it, think that many of his ideas and practices are absurd, and even directly deny the suicide behavior, but those are irreversible.

Just making assumptions is very tormenting, so it’s okay to let yourself stay in this dead alley, as long as you think you’re doing the right thing, headaches, insomnia, and other ailments are not very painful to bear.

He managed to finish the meal. He was so full that he lowered his head and covered his stomach. This was probably the meal he ate the most since he was discharged from the hospital. Fortunately, Xie Zaiyuan made a light meal, otherwise he might suffer all day.

"Come home with me later, you haven't taken anything, it's going to be summer soon." Xie Zaiyuan suggested.

"I have nothing to take." Lin didn't answer.

Xie Zaiyuan answered the phone lightly: "That's right, it's better not to drive on the road in your state."

"..." Lin Mo said, "Wait a minute, I think I still have something missing from you."

In the car, Song Heyan called Lin Mei, and the interrupted topic of Xie Zaiyuan was brought up again: "You have had enough rest, think about the treatment. If you lose your hair, you can grow it again. You can grow it every day." Don't live in mourning, the time lost by you will not come back."

"It's not just about the hair, it's more serious." Lin Mo said.

"It's just that you shouldn't procrastinate this trip, making you cranky every day, and you have new reasons to escape from reality. Is there anything more maddening than being ugly?"

After he hung up Song Heyan's call, Xie Zaiyuan said to him, "What new reason do you have?"

"It's too troublesome to say." Lin didn't want to say.

Xie Zaiyuan turned on the music on the car and played soothing piano music: "Then let me guess, it's similar to the mentality of a gambler. Others will continue to gamble even if they are bankrupt, and you have paid too much for suicide. I'm afraid one day You will also blame yourself for being too paranoid at the beginning, so you think that as long as you always feel that you have done nothing wrong and continue, you will never blame yourself and regret it, and the impact of impulsiveness will not be such a big psychological burden.”

"The word 'also' is a bit subtle." Lin didn't glance at him.

"Besides you and me, other people, putting aside emotions like sympathy, probably think you are paranoid."

"You're not thinking that?"

"No, judgments are divided into right and wrong, and actions are divided into rationality and sensibility, but I am out of the ordinary rules with you, because I am not on your opposite side." Xie Zaiyuan

"You know me too well, don't you think I'm scary?"

There are many dark thoughts that even Lin Mei himself can't accept, and he can't even express them to bystanders, but Xie Zaiyuan not only understands him, but also tolerates him.

"I know your words too well. You should be the one who feels terrible. Are you panicking?"

"Since the guess is so accurate, you can just keep guessing." Lin didn't turn his head to ignore him, "Everything is under your control."

"No, you have three things that completely exceeded my expectations."

"I saved you, and I committed suicide, what else can surprise you?"

Xie Zaiyuan hesitated to speak, seemed embarrassed to say it, but finally explained: "And you like me."

Lin didn't correct his wording: "Please pay attention, with your level of planning, you should also know that I liked you when I was young and ignorant."

He bit the accent on the word "Guo", Xie Zaiyuan had nothing to say, in fact, he was not sure about this at all, it is almost a luxury to let Lin not go to the treatment slowly in a palliative way, there is not much else think.

Living together for more than seven years, not only is Lin Mei accustomed to Xie Zaiyuan's life as expected, but Xie Zaiyuan also has a clear understanding of Lin Mei's behavior and handling of things.

"I don't think you are scary." Xie Zaiyuan said, "I hurt you with my words some time ago, and it was my fault. It was also my fault that I ignored you earlier."

"Need I say it's okay?"

"You don't have to forgive me if you can't let it go." Xie Zaiyuan smiled, "Take it easy, your back is straight."

When they arrived at Luotong Road, Lin didn't feel as if they had passed away. When they walked to the door and saw the coded lock, Lin didn't recall that the unlocking code was Lin Mo's birthday, and he froze in place and didn't move forward.

"Are you uncomfortable?" Xie Zaiyuan quickly noticed something was wrong.

The blood on Lin Mei's face faded, he bit his lip and said, "Open the door."

"It's okay, this lock still recognizes you."

Xie Zaiyuan was confused, and grabbed Lin Mo's hand to press his fingerprint, but Lin Mo suddenly withdrew his hand, took a few deep breaths, and his heart began to tingle.He said: "The lock is Lin Mo's birthday, I don't want to open it!"

The two of them didn't move for a while. After a long time, Xie Zaiyuan said in a trembling voice, "How could I know Lin Mo's birthday? This password doesn't mean that..."

This string of numbers differed from Lin Mei's birthday by only one number at the end. He just remembered that when Lin Mo was talking about the past, he mentioned that Lin Mo was not a day older than him, so it could also be Lin Mo's birthday.

"What does that mean?" Lin did not flinch and asked, his eyes full of hostility again.

Xie Zaiyuan's lips moved, and he said for a while, "My mother's death day."

The author has something to say: Thanks to the little angels who voted for me~

Thanks to the little angels who voted [Landmine]: 1 piece from Shanye, 1 piece from Huaizhou, 1 piece from Xingheluo, and 1 piece from Cool Brother Wants to Get Rich

Thanks to the little angels for irrigating me with nutrient solution~

Thanks to the little angel of irrigation nutrient solution: Xingheluo 10 bottles

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard! ^_^