bother you

A-level rehabilitation center of the Ministry of Public Security.

The lawn is fresh green, and the wind blows off white pear petals and pink apricot petals, fluttering in the air.

A young man wearing a camel knitted sweater and light-colored slacks was sitting on a wooden bench by the lawn, with his hands in his pockets, looking dazed and motionless for a long time.

The policemen who were sent to the A-level rehabilitation center were either physically or mentally traumatized. There are many people like him who stay quietly in one place without moving. He is not special.

He wears a bracelet on his left wrist that can track his whereabouts and sense his mental state. The indicator light of the bracelet flashes at a certain frequency. Various indicators show that his condition has not deteriorated, but it has not improved either.

"He's there." Psychological expert Zhu Xun, in his forties, who has helped a large number of front-line policemen with psychological problems, stood by the corridor with a whole floor-to-ceiling window, and pointed to the lawn downstairs, "It's been more than two months. , As long as it doesn't rain, he will sit there every afternoon, not communicating with anyone, and will come back at five o'clock, and if I don't talk to him, he won't talk all day."

Yan Xiao's hand on the window glass was shaking, and the veins on his forehead trembled uncontrollably, "How could this be?"

The person who "can't speak all day" is actually Zhaofan, his Zhaofan!

Zhaofan is tall, lean and strong, and when he deliberately pushes his thighs hard, his abdominal muscles are as hard as stone.But now Zhaofan is sitting alone, even from a short distance, it can be seen that he has lost a lot of weight, and his shoulders seem to have collapsed.

In the past, Zhaofan kept his hair straightened and was full of energy, but his short hair was particularly thorny. He had been tied several times, and he always wanted to - when Zhaofan grows his hair long in the future, he would use some conditioner after washing his hair , will it become soft.At that time, he will help Zhaofan brush and dry his hair, and run his fingers through the hair, so he no longer has to worry about being pricked in the palm of his hand.

Today, Zhaofan's hair is long and messed up by the wind, it seems to be softer than expected.But his whole heart was in pain like being repeatedly stabbed by a sharp knife.

Dr. Zhu sighed, "Anti-narcotics police are the most dangerous type of police. After three years of fighting on the front line, almost no one has no psychological problems at all. Zhaofan's situation is not good, but it is not the worst either."

Yan Xiao clenched his fists tightly, his masseter muscles rising and falling on his cheeks.

"At any rate, he hasn't lost his desire to live." Dr. Zhu shook his head and frowned, "But he doesn't know why he's still alive. The sacrifices of many teammates have caused him a great psychological burden. The defense line was broken."

"I...can I know what happened two months ago?" Yan Xiao asked eagerly.

Doctor Zhu turned around and stared at Yan Xiao for a long time, "The specific situation is confidential. The only thing I can tell you is that Zhaofan's team was supposed to be transferred back to Shancheng last month, but in the last operation, the team suffered a fatal blow." , A total of four anti-narcotics policemen died. Zhao Fan was a sniper and was also injured, but it was not serious, and he is no longer serious."

Yan Xiao tremblingly said: "The four people who died..."

Dr. Zhu slapped his hands on the railing by the French window heavily, and sighed, "They are all brothers who have fought with him for three years."

The wind got stronger, and the apricot petals swirled and fell on Zhaofan's head and shoulders. One petal even landed on his eyelashes, precariously falling.

He straightened his shoulders suddenly and waved the petals away.

This movement made the surroundings gradually have normal sounds.

Just now, he saw Yu Ke again in his mind.

Yu Ke said to him: "Brother Fan, when I go back this time, I won't do anti-drug anymore, and you won't do it either. We both spent three years of youth and sweat here, and it's time to pass the baton to the next brother. So, didn’t we both buy jade? Your piece is Jade Guanyin, do you like your brother Xiao? Hahaha, don’t deny it, I already guessed that Jade Guanyin was for him. Mine is Jade Buddha , Send my wife away! My wife has to be a girl, of course I am a young companion now, and when we get old, we will become my wife..."

He thought Yu Ke was talking too much, so he waved his hands and repeated the words he had said countless times, "First of all, you have to find a partner."

"I can definitely find it, I can definitely find it!" Yu Ke smiled hippie, "Although you are not disfigured and I don't think I am the most handsome boy in our team, I can be regarded as handsome! When I get married, I treat you to wine, you have to give me Pack a big red envelope!"

He pretended to be stingy, "No, no."

"Hey you!" Yu Ke was still smiling, and ran after him, "What is the relationship between us, a good teammate who was born and died, I believe you will not give it?"

Screen transition, before the last mission.

"Are you sure you want to be this vanguard?" He pulled Yu Ke's arm so hard that his knuckles turned white, "The last fucking injury you suffered didn't heal!"

"My position is that of a vanguard." Yu Ke smiled unscrupulously, wanting to break his hand away, "If I don't go up, should I let you, a sniper, go up?"

"I'm omnipotent!" he shouted, "I'm indeed a sniper, but it's not because I'm only good at sniping!"

"I know, I know!" Yu Ke continued, "I know you are the best, right? Tsk, although it is true that you are omnipotent, you can't say that yourself, how funny, how thick-skinned, hahaha!"

"Who's kidding you?" He said sharply, "I'm going to discuss it with the captain. This time I will be the vanguard, and you will be the observer for Old Chen."

"No." Yu Ke restrained his smile, "Brother Fan, you fucking look down on me, don't you?"

"It's not that I look down upon..."

"You better recognize our positions. I have always been the vanguard in the team, and you are the sniper. We each perform our duties. If you want to fight against me again, you are looking down on me!"

He was anxious, but he couldn't speak any more.

The screen changed again, gunpowder smoke was everywhere, the sky was covered with blood, the front-line vanguard team was ambushed, Yu Ke and others were in doubt.He was so distraught that he rushed to the scene of the accident to rescue the captain, the rest of his teammates, and other teams who came to support him. In the end, only one brother was rescued.

When he arrived, Yu Ke hadn't swallowed his last breath, but was covered in blood, with one leg and one hand missing, and many bullet holes on his body.

He cried bitterly and carried Yu Ke up.

Yu Ke couldn't speak, and his throat kept making a hoarse throbbing sound.

The camouflage on his face was soaked with tears, crying and deceiving himself: "Hold on a little longer! The helicopter will be here soon! You will be fine, do you hear me!"

Before losing his temper, Yu Ke finally managed to say, "Fan, Brother Fan... I... I won't find a wife anymore... You...you help me give this... this to my mother...my mother... ...tell her... son... son is sorry for her..."

A weak arm hangs down from his chest, and what falls together is a blood-stained Jade Buddha.

The person on the back will never wake up again.

At that moment, he fell to his knees miserably, buried his face in the dust, and sobbed.

These days, he asked himself over and over again——

"Why don't you insist? It's not that you haven't been a vanguard before, and you don't know if Yu Ke's injury is healed, why can't you be tougher? If you insist on pulling him down, he won't sacrifice!"

"He said "find a wife" so many times, what's wrong with you saying it once? Even the last time, you were making fun of him for not being able to find a wife. Is this a prophecy?"

Gradually, he seemed to have stepped into quicksand, and the more he struggled, the more he couldn't get rid of it.

A voice suppressed in my heart for 20 years sharply accused: It's all your fault, you are a sinner, you are annoying, you shouldn't be alive!

"Zhaofan, none of this is your fault." Dr. Zhu told him when they met for the first time.

He was a little dazed, and it took him a long time to realize that the man in front of him was a police psychiatrist, and he himself was suffering from depression.

"I..." His throat seemed to be pinched by a pair of invisible hands, he couldn't make a sound, and felt dizzy.

A long time ago, Lin Haocheng rescued him, gave him a home, cured his disease, and made him grow into an excellent policeman.

Before he had time to repay Lin Haocheng, his old illness relapsed.

"Can I go and see him now?" Yan Xiao asked.

"After some tests, I have confirmed that you are someone who occupies an important position in his heart." Dr. Zhu said, "Maybe your presence and company can help him. But I actually took a certain risk by inviting you here." .I'm not sure now whether you have brought him a positive or a negative influence, after all...the role of emotion is the most difficult to evaluate. "

"I must be careful." Yan Xiao said.

"You can't show too complicated and strong emotions in front of him." Dr. Zhu warned: "You must be calmer than him, give him moderate company, stimulate his reaction, and let him know that he is needed."

"I see."

"Also, although anti-narcotics policemen will suffer from depression for a period of time after a long-term battle and the sacrifice of their teammates, but Zhaofan's situation is special. He suffered from depression when he was young. So I..."

Yan Xiao interrupted, "This is impossible! He has a very cheerful personality!"

"I mean childhood." Dr. Zhu shook his head, "You're still too excited. If you approach Zhaofan with your current mental state, I'm worried that his condition will deteriorate further."

"Sorry." Yan Xiao held his forehead, "I won't...I will definitely adjust it."

"Yeah. Continue with what I just said." Dr. Zhu said, "So I also informed Zhaofan's father, Mr. Lin Haocheng. He came from Zhoucheng, and he should be here soon. At that time, let's think of a way together .”

In the afternoon, the spring was just right, shining warmly on his body, Zhaofan half-raised his face, squinted at the sky, took his hands out of his pockets, and tightly grasped the hem of the sweater.

He was very depressed, his heart was like a huge stone, and his feet were tied with shackles.He knew that many people suffering from depression had suicidal tendencies, but he didn't, and he didn't dare to, because that would be sorry for Lin Haocheng, and so many special police uncles who had helped him.But he couldn't be more active. He had been taking the medicine for a month, and his body had a lot of reactions. He could bear it, and he was cooperating with the doctor as much as possible.But the torment is still his own, and no one can give him a shoulder.

"Zhaofan."

Suddenly, he heard a familiar voice calling his name.

He suspected it was an auditory hallucination.

"Zhaofan."

When the voice came again, he slowly lowered his head, his red eyes still in a daze.

"Zhaofan." Yan Xiao squatted in front of him, holding his hand lightly, not daring to get too excited, trying his best to suppress all kinds of emotions, with regret in his eyes.

After a long time, he finally had focus in his eyes, "Xiao, brother Xiao?"

The author says:

There are some small theaters that I get along with every day on Weibo. I don’t post them here because some readers like to watch small theaters, and some readers don’t.If you want to see it, you can search the names of the two protagonists on my Weibo, but the small theater is exaggerated and cheerful, so the text shall prevail.