pig like age

I have found several summer jobs, why several?Because the money earned per share is too little, too little.

A tutor, teaching junior high school children to learn mathematics, Chinese and English; a temporary worker at McDonald's, who couldn't even get on the stage, collecting trays and sweeping and mopping the floor; and a shopping guide in a supermarket, selling... Sanitary napkins, I still remember it Name: ABC card.

Only when I was really involved in the torrent of society did I realize how small I am.I just found out that Ji Shuyu really gave me a lot of pocket money, how did she get these pocket money?

Ji Shuyu: "Working part-time."

I was surprised: "Didn't my mother not let you work part-time? Besides, isn't the pocket money she gave you not enough for you to spend?"

Ji Shuyu seemed to be eating something, and chatted with me one after another: "I have enough for myself, don't I still have you? You usually spend a lot of money, and how much money I make is not enough for you to spend."

It turns out that I've been a badass for so long, but I didn't know it.

"Why are you asking this?" Ji Shuyu became wary.

I fooled: "It's okay, I'm too bored at home during the summer vacation, and many of my friends are going to do summer jobs..."

"Is the pocket money not enough?"

"No, I'm not in a relationship anymore, and there's almost nothing to spend money on. You'd better take care of yourself, and don't ask me to send you pocket money instead."

"That's not necessary. The professor in my oral English class wants me to proofread Chinese-English translations with her, and the price is very fair."

Later, we talked about her life and study in America, and then hung up the phone.Every time I talk to her on the phone, it's as if a small piece of pure land has been carved out in the chaos of the world, and I mean the spiritual level.During that summer vacation, I was so exhausted that I felt like a cholera in my spiritual world.Just rely on Ji Shuyu to purify me.

Compared with the original life, the change is really big.

Deal with all kinds of emergencies every day.For example, when you are on a shift, you keep urging your customers to be respectful and loyal to your duties, but you still get complaints; for example, if a child is stupid, parents don’t think it is because you are poor and impatient; for example, your legs are sore when you stand, and you sit down and beat Legs, will be scolded by the manager on duty at the supermarket...too many to list.

The physical fatigue every day is second to none, the grievances suffered, and the cold eyes of all kinds of people can still be tolerated. The most unbearable thing is being squeezed out by small groups.I thought, just a temporary worker, is it worth it?

"I said Xiaochen, you are young, listen to what the old lady said, don't be too outstanding in things. You see that you go to work at ten o'clock every day, and you come to sweep the floor at 09:30. Offended. Can they not wear shoes for you?"

This eldest sister is the cleaner of the store where I work. She is the only one who has the best relationship with me and is also a local.

"Is it because I'm young that I should do more?" I only said half of what I said, of course I know the way.But if I don't perform well, I won't be able to get a temporary job position other than the summer job.I think this job is hard work, but it is close to the school and the salary is not bad. I also want to come to work after the summer vacation.

The eldest sister shook her head: "You, learn more. You think that the leader praises you because he really thinks you are good. Look at that Xiao Yang who is targeting you the most, she is the manager's niece..."

I smiled bitterly in my heart, it seems that the world of temporary workers is also full of unspoken rules.No matter how well I perform, I can only be eliminated by this rule...

Fortunately, after my mother mortgaged the store, the money I received in exchange repaid the money my father borrowed.Life was back to normal again, but my dad was bumping into obstacles everywhere looking for a job, and the atmosphere at home was no longer as happy as it used to be.I thought that as long as I work harder, I can help my parents to share their worries.

But the weather is unpredictable, maybe I am usually too rich and well-fed, and I can't bear hardships.I only worked three jobs, and when I was exhausted, I fell ill and got hyperthyroidism.

The disease was so fierce that I was completely unprepared.At the beginning, I just felt a little swollen neck, and there were no other symptoms. I asked the intern doctor at the community hospital, and she thought it was a common inflammation.As a result, when I got the report, I was unqualified in the three items of A and three skills, so I panicked.The first reaction is not to let the parents know.Although my dad's unemployment and debts didn't make the family crumbling, it was enough for them to burn out.Not only did I fail to share the worries of my family, but I got sick and made them rush.

But don't let them know that the pain of seeing a doctor alone is really unbearable.The huge psychological pressure on my back made me almost out of breath.

I got up at 5 o'clock every day and rushed to the hospital to register, but there were too many people queuing up in the hospital, and I couldn't register at all.The doctor said that within a month of taking the medicine, blood should be drawn every week to check whether there are any adverse drug reactions.Unfortunately, I had an adverse reaction to one of the key drugs, and I had to switch to other drugs while stopping the drug.So I started queuing again—drawing blood—and queuing again.

After finally going through this process, I can finally go for a monthly checkup, draw blood and take medicine. I don’t know how long this state will last, but the physical torture, the pressure of money, the running back and forth, including the fact that I can’t let my parents notice The psychological burden... almost knocked me down!

Can you imagine?When there is an adverse drug reaction, the whole body is itchy like hell.This feeling devours me at night, and every time I feel like this, I always think it's better to die and end it.

Anyway, the only person I have ever truly loved in my life left me just like that.She may have found a new boyfriend.I don't know why I thought she had a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend.But subconsciously, I think she is a straight girl who is straighter than a steel pipe, and she just happens to like me.

During those tossing and turning, dejected nights, I wanted to call Yao Ye countless times.I also thought about calling with an unfamiliar number, just to hear her voice.Even just a soft "Hello?" can warm my heart.

But I hold back, I always feel that contacting at this time will destroy something.Maybe it's the self-esteem that refuses to show weakness.

These days, I also dare not call Ji Shuyu.I'm afraid I can't help crying on the phone.In fact, every day I open my eyes, my ailing body makes me feel sorry for myself, my eyes burn, and I feel disheartened.As long as I think about it, I will cry whenever I want, just like the actresses in Aunt Qiong Yao's TV series.Whether the tears are dripping or slowly sliding down, I can grasp it just right.Because just the act of controlling tears is exhausting for me physically and mentally.

During that gray day, there was a little bit of sunshine, not long after the start of school.

Fu Chunlei told me that the goddess is back.

goddess……

"Hey, Xiaochen, are you crying?" Fu Chunlei, such a fool, dipped her finger in my tears and tasted it.

I also don't know why I didn't cry when I walked alone in the quiet community at 5 o'clock in the morning and rushed to the hospital to wait in line; Don’t cry when the counseling is unqualified and end the employment relationship; don’t cry when you are tortured by illness for a long night... On the contrary, when you hear the goddess coming back, you cry.

Perhaps, just like in the most critical situation, there is no time to hesitate, and in the most difficult time, there is no time to shed tears.

Maybe, the goddess is really different in my heart.Her voice was the dawn of my despair, a torch in that winter day, shining on me, seeking light.

This is far from the meaning of an idol, but more of a spiritual pillar.So at the most difficult time in my life, her return made me feel happy.

But soon, this joy was overwhelmed by disappointment.

When she came back, she still didn't answer the phone, and she didn't go to Fat Penguin...

There is nothing more hopeless than hopelessness after hope.

The temporary workers at McDonald's were gone, and the tutors were gone. I simply quit the supermarket shopping guide and concentrated on studying, going to the library to read.

In fact, I have never liked nerds very much, thinking that they only read books stupidly.I like a large group of people together, talking and laughing, so that it is lively.But now, no one will know my distress and understand my heart.I can't tell anyone either.

They would only see me and say to me in surprise, "Xiaochen, you've become so thin."

"Xiaochen, you've become more beautiful!"

"Xiaochen..."

"..."

I'm tired of people who only see my changes and don't care about me.When Ji Shuyu was still there, if a button of mine fell off, she would find out and sew it up for me the next day.Even when I lose weight, she laughs because she knows I'm fine and deserves to be happy.

But Ji Shuyu is not around, no one in this world really cares about me except my parents.

I'm bored, so I don't like the excitement of people anymore, I completely sink myself... sink... together with my heart.In countless books, looking for the panacea to cure me.

The realm of life, in the final analysis, is the realm of the soul.

If you are as distracted as I used to be, no matter how far you go, you will not be able to capture the original image of life, and you will not be able to appreciate the charming scenery.Only the peace of mind can create the elegance of human nature.This kind of tranquility is the peace after gains and losses, the tranquility before temptation, and the calmness in hardship. It is a long and difficult process of smiling at this turbid world and slowly seeing clearly, seeing through, seeing through, and looking down.

Of course, if you can understand this, a lovelorn, a family accident, or a serious illness can't be given, only time, only time will make you transparent and strong.

Summer goes to autumn solstice, autumn goes to winter.Another year of winter, my disease has not fully recovered, but it will not repeat.My dad's job is still not settled.Day by day.

Having learned the experience and lessons of the last summer job, I plan to rely on high-end jobs this time.At least find someone who can relate to my skills, of course, the best thing is to pave the way for my future work.

But playing ball and fighting are the most useless things.

By coincidence, one day I was chatting with Mais on Knockout, she said that her aunt was looking for a graphic model for a sports brand, and she said that you are tall and athletic, so go try it?

If I put it in the past, I would have to belittle myself, carry myself a few catties, and ask hypocritical words such as athlete temperament.And now, I agreed with almost no hesitation.

I made an appointment with Mais the next day.

Mais didn't react when she saw me for a long time, she looked at me silently for a while, her eyes were surprised: "Why did you become like this?"

I smiled helplessly: "It's just getting thinner.

I've gotten used to hearing these interrogative words recently, and even the people around me usually ask them, let alone Mais.We haven't seen each other for more than a year. The last time we met was when the school performed.

Why is everyone reacting so much?In fact, it is also understandable.

As I said before, I was broken in love, and after going to Tibet to torture me, I lost about 10 catties in weight.Later, a serious illness devastated me until I had only a handful of bones left. I had to sleep on a thick mattress, otherwise I would be hurt by my own bones.The advantage is that the contours of the facial features are much clearer and more beautiful. Coupled with the intention to cover up the haggard face, I learned some makeup skills, and it looks like a big change.It's just that there are bad things. My body is not as strong as before, and I would be out of breath when I go upstairs.Coupled with being forced by life, I don't have the mood and time to play and go to the master to train.As a result, the muscles that used to be hard to the touch now feel soft to the touch, and they are already thin, but they look even thinner, and even feel weak.

"With your current appearance, you can really be a model." She said.

"Yes, that would be great."

"You look forward to this job so much?"

Not knowing where to start, I just looked at her.

The appearance of Mais is no longer that punk girl.In fact, in terms of her temperament, she is very similar to Xiao Youzuo.It's just that Xiao Youzuo seemed a bit stingy compared to her, and her aura was more generous.It can also be described in this way, if Xiao Youzuo is a little sister, Mais is more like a big sister.By the way, she also looks a little like Xiao Youzuo, with sharp teeth, sharp lips, and the expression of hooked lips and squinting at me.

I've always thought she resembled Nana Osaki in "Another Me in the World", the protagonist of a manga.But to be honest, Mais is really good-looking, with a slapped face and exquisite and small facial features. In my heart, she is second only to Ji Shuyu in beauty. If she is not too independent and always behaves out of the mainstream, she Should be more popular than anyone.

At the same time, Mais is also very sensitive. According to her, the reason why she had a crush on me and didn’t tell me was that she thought I already knew about it. Since I knew about it and made a gesture of deliberately alienating her, she didn’t need to confess, lest she make trouble for herself. .

So she is not as cool as she looks on the outside, but her mind is really delicate.

Closer to home.

Fortunately, she saw that I didn't answer and didn't ask any questions. She went to have a cup of milk tea with me and then left.In the evening, she said that she had told her aunt that it should be fine.

"I'll take you to the audition tomorrow."

I was overjoyed!

The audition process was relatively smooth, and I almost didn't recognize that it was me when the film came out.It seems that there is still a fundamental difference between my own makeup skills and that of other professional makeup artists.I joked with Mais in a self-deprecating tone, and Mais said, "I'll teach you."

She not only taught me makeup, but also took me to buy clothes.Her dressing taste is indeed not a little bit above mine.I used to like to go to the zoo and Sanlitun to buy clothes.But she sneered, thinking that they were all rubbish.She taught me to match some basic models that are expensive but eye-catching.He also told me how to match the color, so that it will echo and bring out the key points.She also took me to change my hairstyle, saying that there is nothing wrong with long hair, but it needs persistent care to look sharp.

In short, she became my fashion enlightenment teacher unconsciously.Later, I gradually developed an understanding of fashion, which was also rooted in her watering me.

She also took me to the bar.

Kissed me in public, a real kiss.

I felt light, and hugged her, trying to empty my emptiness with passion and dancing.But it turns out that there is no way.

So I pushed her away.

She chased after her, her red lips were alluring.There was obsessive reluctance in her eyes, and a trace of proud indifference.I found her so beautiful, so beautiful that it made my heart beat, but there seemed to be something wrong with me. In this lonely night, in these days full of pain, I should be so eager for a warm embrace, even if it is just another A little body temperature of a person.

It turns out that I am so cold and so lonely...

As for the beautiful woman in front of me, I don't dislike her, on the contrary, I like her a little bit.

But that's all.

Can't get any closer.

I must be sick.

Fortunately, Mais didn't pay much attention to it, she still accompanied me to buy clothes and went to some magazine auditions.They will still take me to the bar and get drunk together.Just never kissed me again.

During that time, alcohol anesthetized me, which made me feel better.

I am very grateful to Mais.

Later, I always thought, why I didn't accept Mais at the beginning, was it because of Yao Ye?To be honest, Yao Ye had already become a distant term at that time, and gradually squeezed out of my life under the pressure of life difficulties.It still hurts when I think about it, but it seems that there is a layer of membrane, and it will not really pierce me again, the pain like hurting my muscles and bones.

So why?

It may be that I met her again, but not at the right time.I think if I am not very short of money, I will force myself to grow up, I am enduring the torment of illness, I think, I will accept her.

Just, no if.

In this way, while I kept going to auditions, I became a little famous, and I regularly took pictures for a fashion magazine; on the other hand, I was going to welcome the arrival of my senior year.

Senior year is a watershed.

It decides whether you will continue your studies, go abroad, or officially enter the society.

Of course, my choice was to step into the society, and I had no idea of ​​going abroad at all, and even planned to give up the postgraduate entrance examination.

My family is also divided into two factions: one faction, represented by my parents, intends to let me take the postgraduate entrance examination.One group, represented by Ji Shuyu, advised me to go abroad.Ji Shuyu was very prosperous in the United States. Not only did he follow the professor to write books, but he also received a lot of commissions. He had long since stopped asking for pocket money from his family.And she also plans to take on a few more jobs, and even pay for my tuition abroad.

For this reason, the two sides are arguing endlessly.In the past, overseas phone calls could last up to one hour. Maybe Ji Shuyu made money. Of course, the real reason was that every time I called, I was discussing my future. This debate could last for an hour or two.

I am the master of my future, it does not exist in my family.

I was depressed, so I simply went out to hide.

I remember that Friday very clearly.Why do I remember so clearly?

Because during that time, I was always thinking about one thing: why can't I embrace the warmth and finally get married with the beauty Mais?

I thought about it when I was at home, I thought about it when I was out of the house, and I still thought about it when I was waiting for the elevator.

Friday marks the beginning of the weekend, Mais invited me to her house that day, tomorrow is her birthday, and she threw an all-night party.

I had a hunch something was going to happen.

So when the elevator stopped with a "ding", I already had a preliminary answer: the reason why I couldn't accept Mais was because she appeared at the wrong time, that is to say, she appeared at the wrong time.

I am not in the mood to fall in love at all now, and no one can accept it.

It turned out that this conclusion was bullshit.

Because at the same time, I also met another person.

So please allow me to correct. Mais and I met the wrong person at the wrong time, so naturally we couldn't be together.

Because the person who will appear next is my destined person.I don't think it will change one bit no matter what stage of my life she appears in.

It doesn't matter if I meet at the wrong time, anyway, I will depend on her for the rest of my life.

I'll give my whole life to prove: I'm right for her.