pig like age

This is my goddess.

The white clothes are better than the snow, the black hair is like clouds, and the eyebrows and eyes are exquisite and picturesque.Not stained with lead, just like a green lotus.

Inferiority is like a devil, once it grows in the bottom of my heart, it spreads everywhere.In the past, when I thought Nanyin was beautiful, I would only be happy and envious, but now I feel a little bit ashamed.I just feel that she is like the Nine Heavens Xuannv, and I am like the grass on the ground, and I am getting more and more unworthy of her.

She stopped in an open place, and I approached her as if I had a telepathy with her, and followed her to an empty booth.

"Fan Yang's paintings have been unappreciated for several years." She said suddenly.

I was in a mood of ups and downs, and it was difficult to calm down at the moment. Hearing what she said, I was stunned.After reacting for a while, I looked at the exhibition behind me.The painting was really ugly, so I didn't even look at it, so I asked, "Do you think it's good?"

She shook her head: "I don't understand." Her eyes turned to me: "There are many things I don't understand, maybe I'm too stupid."

"You are not stupid." In my heart, she is the smartest person.Although they kept calling her a fool and a fool, they didn't really think she was stupid, but felt that she was purer than ordinary people, as rare as jade in the rough.That's a nickname for her.

Only then did she look directly at me, and asked in a low voice for a long time, "Have you suffered from your illness again?"

I shook my head: "It's done."

"But you don't look well." She stared at my face with a look of worry in her eyes.

"It's really healed." My words choked up, and I opened my hands and said relaxedly: "Look, it's alive and well. How about you? How are you doing? Is the lab busy?"

She shook her head lightly, her eyes were downcast, her face was as pale as snow, and her eyebrows were slightly raised. That gloomy and sad appearance made my heart overflow with sorrow and pity.

After a long silence, she asked again: "How is she treating you?"

I subconsciously said, "What, who?" Then I realized who she was asking and why.She sees that I am not in good condition, and cares if I am in poor health, or if my relationship is not going well...

this nerd.

My chest felt like a ball of cotton soaked in diaper, and my throat was so choked and sore.

"Just now, it seems that you two have a good relationship, I was too worried." She thought I was embarrassed to answer this question, and asked and answered by herself.

I just felt that the air became thinner in an instant, and I straightened my neck unbearably, and couldn't help but want to blurt out: Don't get me wrong, I don't have that kind of relationship with her!

But before I struggled to open my mouth, I heard footsteps behind me: "Hey, what do you see in this painting? Why can't I understand..."

"Let me see, let me see..."

A group of people who looked like students surrounded him.

We both took a few steps back.

"..." Before I could figure out how to speak, her phone rang first.She picked it up and said: "...Okay, I'll go over there." After hanging up the phone, she didn't move, her voice was weak but extremely clear: "Xiaochen, please don't mind if my dad said anything too much. Holding Qingyan is also my investment strategy, and I don’t suffer a loss, so don’t feel that you owe me.”

All kinds of emotions in my heart were stagnated in my chest, and I faintly felt that she was saying goodbye to me by saying this?

Just thinking about it breaks my heart.

And after she finished speaking, she slowly stroked an object in her hand, unfolding——

It was a withered flower.

Touching it with her white fingertips, she seemed to be able to hear small rustling sounds, but she listened attentively, but it was the love and selflessness in her heart, the lingering love that never left her.

Seemingly unable to give up, she still handed the flowers to me, and then turned around and left.

I spread the dead flower in my hand, and suddenly remembered that it was in her hometown. I, she and Liao Fan went for a walk outside on a sunny afternoon after the rain. I picked it for her.After picking it, she put it on her hair with her own hands, and joked with a smile: You are my flower girl.

She wore it all that day, her eyes were full of joy, and she was reluctant to take it off when she got home.

She didn't say it, and I didn't realize it...

It wasn't until this moment that I realized that this was actually the only thing I gave her.

It was just a withered flower, but she regarded it as a treasure and kept it until now.

Fool, really...fool.

Watching her figure disappear into the crowd, I couldn't help but burst into tears.More than that, I owe her...

I'm so sad, really sad.

She's so nice, so nice... what should I do?

Get her back?

But there is a checkpoint in my heart, no matter how much I try to ignore it, it still exists, and I can't pass it.That's my self-esteem, my hesitation about the future, and my lack of confidence in myself...

don't love her?

Unless I die.No, even if I die, after reincarnation, I will still meet her and fall in love with her.This seems to be the meaning of me, Xi Xiaochen, as a human being.

My love for her is terminally ill and beyond cure.Without her, every day of life is like a walking dead.

On the way back, Zhou Qingyu was still asking me: "What is the relationship between you and Sister Li?"

"...Yesterday I heard you miss the goddess, and you drank yourself like that. I felt very uncomfortable when I saw it. I didn't want to come today, and I planned to reject Dr. Xu, but I just received an admission letter from her. I saw Jian Nanyin’s name on the voucher and the introduction of the exhibition, and I called her to confirm it again, and then I thought it might be an opportunity to force you to come here. Who knows the woman you brought, the two of you ...Why are you two so close? The goddess looked at it at the time, her face turned pale, you hurt her heart very much, do you know that?"

I don't want to explain to her that my arm is sore. Besides, she scolded me, and there was nothing wrong with her scolding.On the contrary, I feel that her gentle temperament, scolding people is neither painful nor itchy, and she is not relieved at all.

I simply went to Mais and wanted her to continue scolding me.My heart is already numb with pain, I want someone to scold me severely, to wake me up!I don't know how to cherish such a good woman, and I can't give her a future or happiness. I should be scolded!Even get beaten!

But Mais was playing games with a headset on and ignored me at all.

Later, during the intermission, I had time to say to me: "Didn't you accompany Senior Sister Zhou to the calligraphy and painting exhibition?"

I told her everything that happened today, and Mais showed me a look that made me wish I was lucky: "Is there anyone worse than you?"

"What on earth did you think?"

I shook my head: "To be honest, I don't know. I love her so much that I want to die for her immediately! But, I can't be with her... You may not understand, there is a hole in my heart, dripping with blood , It can’t be healed. I can’t get back together with her with such a wound. That kind of great anxiety, that kind of dull pain that I can’t debride the wound for the time being, that kind of feeling that I am extremely disappointed in myself and feel inferior and self-loathing, Let me push myself away from her..."

Mais picked out her ears: "Then don't force yourself, take your time. Anyway, your goddess is also a slow person, one tendon, isn't it... is it a pair for a lifetime? You two, just torture yourself and see who comes first." If the torture can no longer go on, we will be able to reconcile as before."

I shook my head when I heard it, and said upsetly: "You don't know, she said before that if we end, she will give herself a new chance and make a new choice."

Mais rolled her eyes: "That's what you deserve. If you push her away, you have to be mentally prepared for her to find another love. As a human being, don't be too greedy. You can't just dump someone and think about it." People will guard you like a jade for the rest of your life, right?"

"No, you don't understand..."

"I don't know what a ghost!" Mais said disgustedly: "You love her, we can all see it. What we don't understand is that if you love her, you just pounce on her. Why do you deal with those who have nothing? Life is full of joy Huan, now that we are in love with each other and are not together, do we have to wait until we are separated from each other and then regret it?"

Everything she said was right, but when it was applied to me, it felt wrong.Maybe it's because I didn't tell her that Father Jian asked me about it?Maybe she'll feel the same way when she hears it.Because that was what she had experienced before, I just didn't want her to fall into the memories of that past, so I didn't tell the whole story.

At this moment, those overlapping emotions are stuck in my heart, and I have nowhere to vent my suffocation, but it is about to suffocate me to death.

I got up and wanted to go outside for some air.She suddenly remembered and said: "By the way, I almost forgot to tell you. The affiliated hospital called me and said that there was a car parked in the hospital parking lot. It was my name when I registered. It was you Your car? The maximum parking time has passed..."

Goddess' car.

Not only the car, but also the keys to her house, which have not been returned to her yet.

Now that we broke up, even if there is a hundred in my heart that I don't want to sever ties with her, even if I want to keep it for a while, it's still too selfish, isn't it?

When I think of the traces of her slowly being erased from my body, and all the witnesses she gave me and between us will be wiped away, the heavy sense of loss makes me almost want to die...

I went to the hospital and drove out of the car, driving randomly without purpose.Actually drove to the Goddess's house.

I didn't have the courage to see her again, so I wanted to leave the car keys and door keys at her door and leave.But I underestimated my ability to bear it. After all, this is where our relationship started to heat up.We walked side by side on every level of scene; on every step, our laughter flowed.I still remember on the third floor Chapter 1

Countless memories came one after another, so dense that I was wet with tears before I walked halfway, and I had to retreat halfway and take the elevator instead.

I got off the elevator and walked to her door.Weighing the weight of the two keys in his hand, as if it were a ceremony, letting them go was like completely cutting off the relationship with her.Since then, we have been passers-by...

The long backlog of tragedy and sorrow, as well as the indescribable despair, made me squat down and want to cry heartily!

But before I could say anything, a voice suddenly came: "Miss?"

I was shocked!

As soon as he turned around, he saw a man sitting on the upward steps.

The man sat here as casually as if he were sitting on a leather sofa.She was very bookish, wearing gold-rimmed glasses, thin lips, and under her clear appearance, a pair of eyes shone like a lake in the sun.It's hard to take your eyes off.

"Are you looking for Nanyin?" He asked me, looking directly at me.

I nodded, and my thinking quickly returned to normal: "You too, wait for her?"

He said, "Ah, I've been waiting for her for days. Ever since I knew her address." He stood up and dusted his trousers.It was only then that I realized that he was tall and straight, and his exposing manner was definitely not like an ordinary person.

I think I've guessed who he is.

Hello, true rival.

If I still have the qualifications to call you a rival in love.