sun, fall

"Hey, you are not allowed to play tricks! We agreed that whoever loses will be punished by the other party, right?"

"This is purely accidental!" Rather than arguing, it's better to say cheers, "It's unbelievable! Teacher Tu didn't come today. It is said that her family members are sick, and she took a day off yesterday. I didn’t come to work today! Tomorrow and the day after tomorrow are weekends! It’s great! It’s great!”

"I said long ago that with me by your side, you will be fine! My luck will also be contagious to you!"

"You can brag!" I laughed, and it seemed that it had been a long time since I laughed so happily, "That Mr. Tu, the old butcher! I think she just suffered retribution! If I were God, I would let her whole family be unlucky, she With her husband and her son, they work three shifts a day, and they have fever, cold and stomach ache in turn! Chu Ling, what do you think?"

Chu Ling's gaze suddenly became a little strange, even though his face was always so healthy and handsome. "To be honest, I don't agree with what you said just now. If I were that perverted uncle of God—" The moment the words came out, Chu Ling and I laughed at the same time.

"If you are that old pervert in the sky, what's wrong?"

Chu Ling's expression suddenly became a little serious: "If I can control the life and death of others, I would rather let some bad people go, and I will never abuse the power of lust and bring harm to the innocent. Even if I hate someone again, I will never take my anger out on that person's family, relatives and friends."

Chu Ling looked at my face seriously: "I have always believed that the most evil way in the world is to vent one's resentment on innocent people and hurt innocent people. For example, in ancient times, the Nine Clans of Miemen. Even if a person Murder and fire prevention are all evil, as long as his family members don't participate, they can't be called bad people. As for Teacher Tu, no matter how much you hate her, what she does has nothing to do with her husband and children. Isn't it? "

"Hmm!" I looked at Chu Ling in surprise.In front of me, this incomparably pure boy, with the scar on his chest, was clearly reflected in my eyes.I suddenly realized that I knew almost nothing about him. "You're right." I answered him hastily.

Chu Ling almost met my eyes, and then said: "Throughout the ages, many armies, after conquering a city, treated captives and even ordinary people—people who were powerless to resist, and even non-combatants from beginning to end—either abused or Massacres. The Japanese devils massacred Nanjing, which is notorious in history books. However, in the same Nanjing, brothers Zeng Guofan and Zeng Guoquan also brutally massacred the city when they destroyed the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom—what is the difference between the two?"

Chu Ling talked non-stop, with a somewhat excited expression: "People have a beast side, and once they are impatient, they may become crazy and extreme. But no matter what, I think people should have the most basic bottom line: injustice If you have a leader, you have a debtor. Don’t take your anger out on those innocent people who have no grievances or enmities with you. From the things around us, for example, if there is any conflict between parents, you can’t vent it on your children.”

"Of course." I looked at Chu Ling and nodded in agreement.

"In "Water Margin", Li Kui killed Hu's family village to the ground. I don't think he is a hero at all, but a murderer. What do you think?"

"Yes!" I originally thought that Chu Ling was a handsome young man who did not observe discipline, but now it seems that he is quite thoughtful and insightful.It suddenly occurred to me that he is still carrying the punishment from the school. Although I have never known why, I am more and more sure that he was punished because he was wronged.

"You're right. Like in "Water Margin", Wu Song killed the groom and maid of his enemy Zhang Dujian at the same time in "Water Margin", which is in line with the imperial court's law of implicating the nine clans. They're all the same bastards." When I said this, my eyes kept secretly looking at the left side of Chu Ling's chest, where only a little scar was exposed.In my heart, there was suddenly an indescribable strangeness.

I suddenly thought of my parents, and my eye circles suddenly became hot.My father and mother are also people who are prone to anger!They find fault with each other and quarrel with each other when they don't like themselves. At this time, as long as I have a little trivial matter, I will be caught by them, and then there will be a storm, and all the things I have done in the past one or two years will be revealed. Ledger: The innocent me became a punching bag for my parents!

I admit that my parents love me and have been kind to me in nurturing me. Most of the time the family is fairly peaceful, and my parents are generally good to me.But the gap between my heart and my parents has become more and more obvious in the past few years, and it is difficult to dissolve.

Every time after the exam, the teacher asked the parents to sign, and I would feel blocked in my heart.With the same grades, if my parents happen to be in a good mood, they will encourage me to continue working hard, but if they are in a bad mood, they will explode with various dissatisfaction with me, or take my scores and compete with those classmates who live nearby For comparison; every face and every word of my parents is like a sharp knife, constantly piercing my heart...

No matter how hard I try, it's impossible to be perfect in everything. If my parents want to find fault, there will always be something to blame!However, whether the mood of the parents is good or bad is none of my business?Why should I use my heart and even my personal dignity to pay for their bouts of madness? !

I found that Chu Ling's hand was lightly resting on my shoulder.I was almost face to face with him, head to head.In front of her eyes was Chu Ling's wheat-colored chest.Through the white sweatshirt, I can still clearly see the rhythmic ups and downs.

I couldn't help but put my right hand into the collar of his short-sleeved sweatshirt.At that moment, I felt the scar on the left side of his chest, a long one, about the length of the palm, and an obvious bulge could be felt on the skin surface of the scar. "Chu Ling..." I called his name softly.

Suddenly, I retracted that hand, turned my head, and looked around again.Chu Ling and I sat side by side on a bench in the garden in the middle of the street, no one paid attention to us.The afterimage of the setting sun has dimmed and gradually merged with the gray ground.I stared blankly at Chu Ling in a daze, and suddenly, I gasped——I, what happened to me?I...could it be, am I—a...homosexual who likes men? !How can this be?

I looked at my watch, it was about 40:[-].Going home now, whether it is early or late, our class is not delayed today, and school is over on time after the last class. "Chu Ling, are you leaving school so early?" My "reason" calmed down a lot at the moment, "Isn't it said that you are very busy in the third year of high school?"

"Others are busy, but I am not busy. Anyway, I have given up on mathematics long ago. I have always relied on feeling in Chinese, and sometimes my scores are not bad. I have always been confused about history and politics, but English is not bad." Chuling opened her schoolbag casually. There is a brand-new CD player inside, "I plan to take the entrance examination for sports or art colleges. Those kinds of schools don't need high scores. How about it, do you envy me?"

I looked at him and smiled, in a way, I did envy him. "It's almost time, I have to go home quickly." While speaking, my eyes never left his chest, especially the scar that was almost completely covered by the sportswear, and the necklace that reflected the last sunset .

——Why does Chu Ling have an extraordinary hatred for "venting anger on others"?This question mark has been holding back in my heart.I suddenly felt that I was similar to Chu Ling in this regard.

Chu Ling suddenly hugged me, and before I could react, she kissed my cheek.At that moment, I didn't feel any unpleasant feeling at all. His lips were as elastic as his body, and there was no bad smell.

"The scar on my chest was drawn by my mother with a fruit knife. She wanted to divorce my father. I was not yet 9 years old. In fact, my mother was very pitiful..." Before I left, Chu Ling put her face on my shoulder, and whispered to me in a voice just enough for me to hear—he only spoke half of what he said.As for his other half who hesitated to speak, I really wanted to know, but couldn't ask.

When I got home that evening, it was past seven o'clock, and I was surprised to find that the atmosphere at home had suddenly improved a lot.It turned out that it was my father who bought a pair of counterfeit famous cigarettes in a nearby small supermarket not long ago, and actually got some compensation from the supermarket.Dad said happily that he has always had the habit of keeping relevant documents when he buys things. The evidence is so strong that he is not afraid of going to court.My father also said that when supermarkets sell fake cigarettes, they are firstly guilty of being guilty and afraid of being exposed; secondly, there are illegal supply channels behind the supermarkets selling fake cigarettes, and this problem is their weakness.For this reason, the supermarket would rather lose some money in order to calm things down.

The atmosphere at home suddenly improved, but it was difficult for me to adapt.I finished my dinner in a hurry, quickly reviewed physics, and made up all the leftover homework by the way.In this way, when Teacher Tu comes to class again, even if she goes through my old account again, she won't be able to catch my pigtails.

However, the feeling of "being in love" between me and Chu Ling made me flustered when I thought about it.I simply turned my attention to my homework and forced myself not to think too much.

In addition to studying, for the first time in my room, I raised my legs high on the spot for a while, then picked up a large schoolbag full of it with one hand, and repeated it ten times. Gasp.Before going to bed, I did 20 push-ups in two groups.When exercising, I feel a little uncomfortable, and my throat seems to be a little stuffy, but I can't stop it: Chu Ling's wheat-colored muscles are always looming in the depths of my heart, and I also long to have him. figure!

One night not long after, I dreamed of Chu Ling.The plot in the dream seems to be very messy, but it is also very emotional. I vaguely remember crying in a mess in the dream.In my dream, I was lying naked on a sofa bed with Chu Ling, and I saw the deep wound on his chest, which was still bleeding; I leaned on his shoulder, enjoying his body temperature... His wound was very painful, but he tried his best to endure it, and I healed it with cotton wool dipped in iodine... Then, he couldn't bear the pain anymore, and at my request, he finally used his rough hands, Grab my shoulders and back, and occasionally cry out in a low voice.His hand grabbed me very hard and seemed to be in pain...

——At that moment, I suddenly felt a bit swollen in my lower body, and a liquid that seemed to have been held in for a long time spewed out all of a sudden.

Gradually, I returned from the dream to reality, the night was still very deep, and it was pitch black in front of my eyes.I felt a sticky wetness in my underwear and the surrounding bedding.

I rubbed my eyes, suddenly realized something, got out of bed softly, and went straight to the toilet.At that moment, I felt very cold... When I got to the toilet, I washed my face "hardly" with cold water.I repeatedly asked myself: Why, would I have such a dream?Chu Ling and I, could it be...