Pretend to be straight

I didn't stay at Shi Jinghe's place, I drove home anyway, washed my hair, took a bath, took medicine and went to sleep.

But when he was sleeping, Shi Jinghe's "I'm sorry" sounded repeatedly in his mind.

I didn't sleep well, or in other words, I haven't slept very well for so many days. I often wake up in the middle of the night. When I wake up, I watch the messages I sent to Shi Jinghe and her Weibo Bo until dawn.

And I will also recall the time when we were together before, the first time we met, the second time we met... until the last time we met on December 12th.

There are a lot of pictures that I don't remember so clearly, but just thinking about a vague one makes me think about it for a long time.

But now after listening to Shi Jinghe's so many words, another big stone seems to be blocked in my heart, making my breathing difficult.

I began to doubt my physique, what kind of person am I?Why do I like, don't like me, or don't like me that much.

Qiu Yu is like this, she is with me because I like her so much and wants to show off with me.

The same is true for Shi Jinghe, she wants to be with me because she sees me pitiful and feels sorry for me.

The starting point is not the purest love, and those ex-boyfriends who like me, I can't like any of them, and they will not be together for more than two months.

Was I a big villain in my previous life?That's why I'm where I am now.

I feel that one of my feet is already testing back and forth on the verge of collapse. Why haven’t I stepped on this limit? I thought about it, maybe it’s thanks to Qiu Yu, or she hurt me a little bit more, so that I can bear the pressure ability has also been improved.

But some improvement does not mean that I will fully accept it. When I think of Shi Jinghe's so many words, I feel that every word is piercing my heart.

One hole after another was poked into my heart, so that I couldn't cry out, I could only feel the most direct pain.

I was really a villain in my previous life, that's why I lost my parents in terms of family affection in this life, and I couldn't get happiness in love.

I shouldn't.

I shouldn't still be praying that someone will like me and love me, and I also like her and love her at the same time, it's all because I am too greedy.

I used to feel that I was not a good person, because I couldn't get married and have children, but I still delayed those ex-boyfriends for two months or more.

And now?Maybe this is retribution.

This night, I still didn't sleep well, and I didn't fall asleep until seven o'clock in the morning, and my tears were already on the pillow.

It was already three o'clock in the afternoon when I woke up, and the world outside the window was still so gloomy, I couldn't get any interest.

It's a bit strange.

Before Shi Jinghe came back, I could still insist on not letting myself be mourned, but now that she has come back, I suddenly became mourned.

I don't know why, anyway, I won't meet her for the time being, I said last night to let us calm down for three days.

Three days is enough, and the results can be produced in three days.

Before I'm completely stuck, I think I still have a chance to get out.

I think it's better for me to be in a rational state. I can no longer act with my love brain, and I can accept whatever the other party does.

I had a lot of problems with Shi Jinghe, my purpose of approaching her was not pure from the beginning, I was lying to her from the beginning, I was acting in many scenes.

And she, she is always self-righteous, which is her obvious shortcoming.

From the first time she lied to me to get the medicine, I should have known that she always thought that she was right in everything, that the process was not important, as long as the result was important.

She contacted Qiu Yu without authorization, and wanted Qiu Yu to apologize to me so that I could embrace my future life.She also acted in front of me, pretending to be jealous to make me feel at ease, if Qiu Yu hadn't told me the truth, I might have been kept in the dark forever.

I know that my appearance is very deceiving. Even Xie Ying said that when she first met me, she said that she was very afraid that I would be abducted one day.

I look helpless and pitiful, and I'm known for being protective.

But I didn't expect that Shi Jinghe didn't escape, and she knew me better, so she loved me even more.

But distress is not love, just as comfort is not love.

We have only been together for thirteen days, so the loss of contact for seventeen days is definitely not counted.

Since you don't like me that much, why did you go to your father and talk about it after waiting for me for two days?I can't understand and I can't understand, my relationship with her has never reached that point.

Although I really like her, I want to see her all the time, and I want to get her forgiveness no matter what.

However, after experiencing this incident, I was a little bit at a loss.

Xie Ying was not at home, she went to work, and I am now a homeless person, I got dressed and went to Meng Yisheng's house.

I said that I would go to see her often and I would definitely do it. I only saw her three days ago, and I went again today.

Her labor period is getting closer and closer. As her friend, I should spend more time with her.

And Meng Yisheng has already seen that something is wrong with me. In the past ten days, she knew it when I came here for the first time. I didn't hide it and told her the truth.

As soon as I sat down beside her bed, Meng Yisheng asked me: "Is she still not back?"

I tucked the quilt for her and replied, "I'm back."

Meng Yisheng's belly swelled up very high, and it was already protruding from the quilt. I put my hands on it through the quilt, feeling the baby's movement.

Meng Yisheng was a little anxious: "Then don't accompany me, go to her and explain clearly."

"I already said it." I paused and sighed, "But I didn't say it too clearly. There are so many problems between me and her that I have a headache."

I took my hand off her stomach, helped her tidy her hair, and continued: "For example, she always ignores my feelings. She always thinks what she does is right, and I will accept it." I think Looking at Meng Yisheng, he asked, "Why? Why didn't she come to ask me?"

Meng Yisheng took my hand and squeezed it, and then said earnestly: "But it's like this between lovers, no one is perfect, and you should be glad that you have discovered her shortcomings now, otherwise it will be too late in the future."

I lowered my eyelids and said what was in my heart: "I want to withdraw a little bit. For so many days, because of work and her, I am a little exhausted."

I really feel very tired, but what I waited for was this result.

"Get away?" Meng Yisheng rubbed his double chin, "Zhi Zhi, you didn't mean to break up, did you?"

I nodded slowly, closed my eyes, and these two words were playing in front of my eyes like a bullet screen - break up.

Meng Yisheng immediately grabbed my wrist and shook his head: "No one is perfect, and problems exist to solve them. You have finally met someone you like. If you really withdraw, you may never meet again in the future." She Paused, "Be careful."

I smiled and nodded, and then I heard Meng Yisheng say: "Shen Xun said that Qiu Yu has gone back."

I was a little surprised: "Have you gone back?" I pursed my lips, "She contacted me yesterday to apologize to me, but...I don't accept it, and I don't have to accept it, right?"

"Well, that's it."

I stayed with Meng Yisheng for about two hours and chatted with her a lot, and I didn't leave until she was sleepy.

On this day, the weather was calm, Shi Jinghe didn't contact me, but she sent a Weibo with a very brief content.

She said don't worry everyone, she's back.

Yes, she is back, but I don't know if she can come back to my heart.

Xiao Xu came again at night, but when I saw him, I didn't have a very good face, because as one of my best friends, he stood by Shi Jinghe and didn't tell me anything.

I asked him, "Qian Xu, do you think I'm easy to bully and cheat?"

Xiaoxu nodded slowly: "Yes, Zhizhi, you just look easy to bully..."

I frowned and looked at him: "You give me a good answer. If you don't give me an explanation today, you don't want to meet me again in the future."

"Oh, no." Xiao Xu sat a little closer to me, and he asked curiously, "What's the reason she told you?"

I drooped my head and sighed again: "Just say that her father asked her not to contact me for half a month..."

Xiao Xu coughed suddenly when he heard this, his eyes widened: "Is that all you said?"

I nodded: "Well, what did you say that her father's attitude before was against..." I covered my face and said in a muffled voice, "My parents are long gone, and whether I am in love with a boy or a girl depends Doesn't need anyone's permission. Maybe she does, she says she wants her dad's blessing..."

Xiao Xu pursed his lips, his eyes were a little red at this moment, and he even sucked his nose.

I thought he thought of himself, and said with a smile: "What's the matter? Are you moved by my love with her?"

"No..." Xiao Xu shook his head frantically, "It's not like this."

He repeated: "It's not like that."

His emotions and expressions were all wrong, I frowned and asked, "Isn't that so? What was that like?"

Xiao Xu didn't answer me, he just took my mobile phone and said, "Call her."

I shook my head: "I don't."

Xiao Xu stuffed the phone into my hand: "You have to call!" He stared at me, "Lu Zhi, you don't even know what happened to her these days."

I was a little stunned when he called my name like this. After two seconds, I laughed: "All of you have joined forces to lie to me. How can I be happy? What else can I know?"

Tears welled up in my eyes in an instant: "From the beginning to the end, you all wanted not to let me know, kept me in the dark, and let me sing a one-man show alone." I lowered my head and took a deep breath, "And now? Now? All the faults are on my head, right?"

Xiao Xu was stunned by my hysterical voice, then he put his hands on my head and rubbed my hair.

His voice trembled a little, he pulled a tissue and came over to wipe my tears, then choked his throat and said, "I'm sorry, we shouldn't have listened to her and kept it from you."

I turned my head away, and didn't want him to wipe my tears. I took a piece of paper and covered my face, calming my breathing.

Xiaoxu squatted in front of me, his eyes were also red, he said: "Zhizhi, you are my favorite friend since I entered the industry, I thought your world was gray and black before, only Shi Jing It’s the same as after appearing, you have a life.”

He breathed out: "Shi Jinghe... She told me that she would never lie to you after seeing you, and would tell you the truth, but she still didn't say anything."

I looked at him with blurred eyes, and heard him say in a trembling voice: "On the first day she went to Liucheng, she was beaten by her father who drank alcohol. One month anniversary."

"Zhizhi, I beg you, an outsider, go and see her."