Pretend to be straight

I woke up at 08:30 the next morning. I didn't wake up naturally, but was called out by Xie Ying.

She pushed my door open and called me: "Zhizhi, get up soon, don't forget we're going out today."

"Okay..." I buried my face in the pillow and closed my eyes to respond, struggling for a while before getting up.

After washing up, I went back to the bedroom, and just sat down on the stool in front of the dressing table to prepare my makeup when the phone rang on the bed.

I glanced at the incoming call, it was Xiao Xu, and he was leaving today.

I answer on speakerphone and put the phone aside.

Xiaoxu asked me: "Zhizhi, have you cleaned up?"

"Not yet, no makeup yet, soon."

"Hey." Xiao Xu sighed, and he said, "I really don't look forward to this trip at all this year."

I was already slowly rubbing something on my face, and I laughed when I heard him say this: "Because you can't bear your boyfriend?"

Xiao Xu snorted softly: "You single dog won't understand."

I glanced at the call interface of the phone, and moved my mouth to refute, but in the end I just snorted softly: "It's great to have a partner." I said, "When the old men in the park play chess, they have a lot of targets. "

Xiao Xu laughed a couple of times, and he asked me again: "Aren't you reluctant to part with your little sister?"

I stopped drawing my eyebrows, and after a while, I sighed: "Yes."

Why not?After parting with her yesterday, I couldn't help but feel a sore nose as soon as I turned around.

"Are you two not far away from being together?" Xiao Xu was a little curious, "I was thinking, you two can't be together anymore."

I answered him truthfully: "I don't know either." The scene of holding hands with Shi Jinghe yesterday came back to my mind, "I'm a little confused."

"Have you confessed?"

"not yet."

Xiao Xu began to hate iron for steel again: "You should seize the opportunity."

"Why didn't she confess that she wanted me to come?"

"Damn it, didn't you like him first? What's wrong with your confession? Will it lose you a piece of meat?"

"...Then let's see if there is a suitable time when I come back."

Except for Qiu Yu, who I took the initiative to confess, I was passive about the rest of the exes, although it was good to hear them say they liked me, it was up to me to accept it or not.

What needs to be done to confess?How about making it a little more romantic?

Also, did I misunderstand what Shi Jinghe meant to me?Could it be that she treats me like a real little sister from the beginning to the end?He treats me so well because he thinks I'm cute, not because he likes me differently.

Yes, I actually started to feel timid again, and I still lack confidence in my heart.

At [-]:[-], Xie Ying and I set off with a suitcase alone, because a group of people took a bus, and I couldn't even drive the car.

Hey, group activities are really annoying, and what annoys me even more is that I will see Cheng Siyi and not Shi Jinghe.

The stipulated arrival time was ten o'clock, and Xie Ying and I got off the taxi at around nine fifty.

The location was outside a park, the bus had already stopped, I pulled the suitcase and walked slowly with Xie Ying.

Xiao Xu was waiting for us outside the car. He had already arrived, and he was overjoyed to see us: "Oh, I want to play with you again."

Li Zi was also standing on the side. When he saw us, he just greeted us politely. I also responded, looked at the silent Xie Ying beside me and smiled, "Yingying, get on the bus."

Xie Ying came out of her distraction and nodded to me: "Okay, okay."

Xiao Xu made a gesture: "Let me go."

He was talking about carrying the luggage, and I agreed with a smile: "Okay, come here, Xiao Xu is right at all."

Xiao Xu's history of moving bricks has spread all over the world. Everyone knows that he went to the construction site to move bricks. Many people have since called him "Brother Xu".

Xiao Xu: "Hey, you might as well call me Sister Xu."

Li Zi also said on the side: "I'll help you."

He was talking about helping Xie Ying. I looked at Xiao Xu and heard Xie Ying's indifferent and distant voice: "No, thank you."

"Oh." Li Zi didn't continue, he smiled at me, "That Zhizhi, I'll help you."

Xiao Xu shrugged his shoulders at me, put down my suitcase and took Xie Ying's.

There are six boys out of ten, and we, as girls, are the ones being taken care of, at least in terms of strength.

The people on the bus are not satisfied at all, and some places are used to put things.

I just got in the car and sat down, before I took out the earphones out of the bag and put them on, I heard Cheng Siyi's surprised voice: "Zhizhi." She called me and then called, "Yingying .”

I raised my hand and greeted her with a smile: "Morning."

I thought about it carefully, and what Xie Ying said was right, we are all colleagues, so I should make it look better on the surface.

And I don't bother to worry about her anymore, I don't have time to be happy about Shi Jinghe's, so I don't want to think about these other things anymore.

"Zhizhi, are you hungry? We bought breakfast."

Because of Li Zi's relationship, Xie Ying still had a weary expression, so she replied first, "We came out after breakfast."

Before going out, Xie Ying and I ate takeaways. Usually, the porridge you eat in the morning can't go wrong. I drank more than half of a bowl of porridge.

Cheng Siyi's dimples are on her cheeks again, she is really beautiful, like a doll, especially today with her hair bun, she looks younger, like a high school student.

I can't be envious, I don't have dimples, and I'm not as young as her.

A few minutes later, the bus driver started the car, and all ten of us were seated.

Xiao Xu and Li Zi were sitting in front of us, and not long after driving, Xiao Xu picked up the microphone in the car: "Come on, get up."

There is a speaker in the car, which is connected to a microphone. After plugging in a USB, it starts playing songs. Now the bus has become a music bus. Xiao Xu and the boys are having fun, singing one song after another.

Xie Ying beside me has already put on the blindfold and plugged in the earphones, and is dressed in a "Don't take me off" outfit.

I'm not interested in singing, but just when I put my head on the chair in front of me and lowered my head to play with my mobile phone, Xiao Xu handed the microphone in front of me: "Zhizhi, hurry up, this sentence is yours." .”

The song being played was the popular Little Apple a few years ago. I thought about it for two seconds, but I didn't reject Xiao Xu's microphone. I sang a few lines and gave it back to him.

Xiaoxu is my friend, and he doesn't play too much, I have to cooperate emotionally and rationally, otherwise it's really... a disappointment.

The car was very lively, Xiao Xu finally turned his head and continued to pass the microphone, and I finally put my head on the back of Xiao Xu's chair and unlocked the phone.

In the morning, I only sent a message to Shi Jinghe when I was having dinner, and she hadn't replied to me at that time, maybe she was busy with work.

We haven't left Cloud City, or even got on the highway, but I've already started to miss Shi Jinghe.

In other words, since I left last night, I started thinking about her, thinking about insomnia and being unable to sleep, wanting to send her a message in the middle of the night but afraid that she was already asleep, or afraid that I would be too clingy to her.

How can it be?I'm already 24 years old, I can't be the same as I was a few years ago, can't I?

And now there is a message that Shi Jinghe sent me on the phone. She said that she was driving when she received the message, and asked me if I was leaving.

I looked at these two lines and sighed softly, and then replied to her: [Let's go. 】

My mood was affected in this way, and it didn't seem to matter to me how warm the outside atmosphere was, or maybe my depression was noticed, Shi Jinghe asked if it was convenient for me to answer the phone.

I was taken aback, and replied: [They are singing, a bit noisy. 】

If it is possible, I really hope that Xiao Xu and the others will be quieter, so that I can still answer Shi Jinghe's calls.

But the opportunity was lost, Shi Jinghe said that she had to go to work first, and she still had some orders to deal with.

I gasped for breath and was a little overwhelmed by the news.

Is my words and deeds too much?To make Shi Jinghe feel that I disturbed her or bored her a bit.

I know, I'm thinking wildly again, because Shi Jinghe just said that she went to work as usual.

Then why did I become so anxious about gain and loss again?I closed my eyes, and my mind was filled with images of being with Qiu Yu.

She always said later that I was too clingy to her, that I didn't give her her personal space.

When I was young, I thought it was best to be together all the time. Later, after she said so, I really started to give her enough time not to stay with me.

I thought that as long as I was obedient, she would like me more.

But looking back now, it turned out that I was delusional all along.

And finally, after a few years, when I think of her now, there is no turmoil in my heart, but the harm she once brought to me is still deeply imprinted in every inch of my brain, my heart, and my body.

Once I was bitten by a snake for ten years and was afraid of well ropes. Before I waited ten years, I touched love again.

I understand what's wrong with me now. While I like Shi Jinghe, I'm also afraid of losing her, even though I haven't had her yet.

Dai Sheng said that I have a strong ability to "pass a leaf among thousands of flowers without touching my body", but that is when I have no emotional foundation.

Actually?I am sensitive, fragile and even inferior. Any action or word of Shi Jinghe may trigger a tsunami or a volcanic eruption in my heart.

I need to make corrections, but I also need time. It may be a good choice to come out to play in the past few days, at least it will allow me to adjust my mentality.

Xie Ying didn't know when she took off her blindfold and started playing with her mobile phone, Xiao Xu and the others chatted instead of singing.

I took a deep breath and sat up straight. Xie Ying showed me the interface of her mobile phone and asked me, "Zhizhi, is this 'Z' you?"

The above is Shi Jinghe's Weibo homepage, which is the latest post she posted.

[On the first day Z left, I missed her. 】