Pretend to be straight

I don't know how much wine I drank, Xiao Xu understood me very well, and he didn't stop me. In the end, I lay down on the bar counter, and I wanted to vomit when I opened my mouth, but I couldn't vomit anything.

My eyes were already blurred, my eyelids were so heavy, I simply closed my eyes, and my consciousness gradually became unconscious, only intermittent voices could be heard.

It’s really similar, like when I was almost strangled to death by Qin Yiwen, it was the same way, I could hear the sound of the outside world, I tried hard to see the world, but my eyelids became more and more heavy until I couldn’t hear anything.

I seemed to be dreaming again, dreaming of Qiu Yu again.

Since the last time I had a drink and dreamed about her in Liucheng, she hasn't been a guest in my dream, but today she came.

Her hairstyle is different from a few years ago. She used to have long straight hair, but now she has curly hair, which makes her look very pretty, and her face is still the same, unchanged from a few years ago.

She sat facing me, and my mouth was sealed with a layer of tape. I couldn't say anything, I could only make a burst of "woo woo woo".

But she can.

"I thought you'd never know," she said.

"I really never liked you," she said.

She asked, "Are you happy?"

Never liked me...?I gradually stopped struggling, but tears flowed down the corners of my eyes.

She left, and the tape on my mouth disappeared at some point.

I thought I was the only one left in the all-white world, looking for other people in a panic, until I heard a familiar voice.

"What dream did Zhizhi have...why are you still crying?" It was Xie Ying's voice.

Immediately afterwards I heard Xiaoxu say: "Yingying, I think Zhizhi has a lot on her mind."

"Hey." Xie Ying sighed heavily.

I still keep my eyes closed, and I can hear their voices clearly. I try to open my eyes to see if my eyelids are still controlling me and preventing me from seeing the real world.

Obviously, no, I saw the ceiling and the light in my room, and the light bit my eyes, and I turned my head to look away.

Xiao Xu was frightened: "Zhizhi, you startled me by opening your eyes suddenly."

Xie Ying glared at her, threw the paper towel that wiped my tears into the trash can, and cared for me: "Zhizhi? Are you uncomfortable?"

I licked my dry lips, nodded, and said, "A little bit."

But the voice was so hoarse that I was stunned for a while when I heard it, Xiao Xu immediately went to fetch water for me.

I drank some water and coughed a few times before I felt better.

It was pitch black outside the window, and I didn't know what time it was.

Xie Ying followed my line of sight and answered my doubts: "It's past two o'clock in the morning." She sat by my bed, stretched out her hand to stroke my own hair, "Xiao Xu carried you back."

I raised my eyes to look at Xiao Xu, he blinked at me, and whispered: "Oh, sister, you don't need to thank me."

That's what he said but I couldn't do it, I still smiled at him: "Thank you."

I think I'm too bad, I just need to find a quiet place and cry loudly, and then just pretend that nothing happened.

But it happened to bother my friends, and I feel very guilty when I think about it.

How can I be a person who causes trouble for others?

Xiao Xu won't go back tonight, it's too late now, he has already sent a message to his boyfriend.

He was sleeping on the sofa, and Xie Ying naturally went back to her bedroom.

Soon, the room became quiet, and Xie Ying helped me replace the chandelier with my desk lamp before leaving.

The warm yellow light radiated its own light on the side of my bed. I leaned against the bed and took my mobile phone.

It's a new day, today is Thursday, I haven't contacted Shi Jinghe for three days.

At the end of the last meeting, she said: "I...maybe you need time to digest, so whenever you want to send me a message, just send it to me."

Then she opened the car door and left, leaving me sitting in the car for a long time.

If... I mean, if Qiu Yu and I are still together, and she and Zhong Nian are still together, then what will be my relationship with Shi Jinghe?

Sister-in-law?Brother-in-law?

I thought that Shi Jinghe knew Yu Mo already made me feel that the world was small, but Shi Jinghe also knew Qiu Yu besides that.

And know that I have been with Qiu Yu, and even now come to tell me the truth.

What am I to Qiu Yu?

What are the memories of being together that I still feel sweet and that I cherish as treasures?

It turns out, it turns out that I was never liked by Qiu Yu at all.

It turns out, it turns out that Qiu Yu doesn't feel sorry for me at all.

Then all this makes sense. I used to think she was cruel, or that she had a reason behind it, so I had to break up with me in a way that stimulated me.

The results of it?The result is that I am doing everything possible to excuse her "crime".

I knew she was going abroad, and I also said that I could also go abroad, or that the long-distance relationship could persist.

Actually?In fact, I was a burden, and the death of my parents was an excuse she finally found to shake me off.

I've closed my eyes for the past few days and that's all I've thought. I thought I'd said goodbye to Qiu Yu, and I was already preparing for the next relationship, but this happened again.

I even wondered, if Shi Jinghe didn't tell me, would I still have a chance to know the truth in this life.

And it wasn't just me who was hurt, but also Shi Jinghe. When she said the word "show off" herself, her voice trembled a little.

Both of us are just tools used by Zhong Nian and Qiu Yu to demonstrate to each other.

The difference is that Shi Jinghe knew the truth a few years earlier than me.

I sighed deeply, clicked on the chat box with Shi Jinghe, and sent her a message.

I woke up again in the afternoon, Xiao Xu had already left, Xie Ying had also gone to work, the room was empty, I was so hungry that I was uncomfortable.

After debating for a while, I took a shower, washed my hair and went out to eat.

It's hard to get takeaways that suit your appetite. I'd better not waste money. I didn't even have any money for the last "navy trip".

After eating, I drove the car to a park and didn't want to go home for the time being.

The wine yesterday was not in vain, at least part of my discomfort has really been relieved, and I will work harder on the rest.

Shi Jinghe was finally not so busy. After a while, she sent me a message saying that she would come over later.

I'm already sitting on a chair in the park. It didn't rain in Yuncheng today, but the accumulated water from the previous two days hasn't evaporated, and there is still a small puddle of rainwater on some ground.

There is a large screen in the middle of the square, live broadcasting the situation in this area of ​​the square in real time.

A child approached the camera, saw himself on the screen, and ran to his parents happily.

So happy, I couldn't help but raise the corners of my lips when I saw their smiles.

When Shi Jinghe arrived, there were already uncles and aunts in the square who had set up the sound system and began to dance in the square.

I sent her the location and she saw me easily.

There were more than ten meters away from her, and I waved at her.

Shi Jinghe really likes the look of the windbreaker. She still wears a windbreaker today, but the color is black, which I haven't seen her wear. This one makes her look very cool.

She didn't wear it with a belt this time, so it can be seen that she was wearing a v-neck skirt underneath. Both the skirt and the windbreaker reached below the knee, exposing a section of her calf.

When she walked in front of me, I looked up at her slightly and asked, "Isn't it cold in this dress?"

I remember that she was afraid of the cold, and today's temperature dropped a bit compared to the previous few days, and I even wore three pieces.

But Shi Jinghe seemed to be wearing very thin clothes. She sat down beside me and answered me: "It's a bit cold." She said, "I wear this for taking pictures."

"understood."

It has been a long time since she posted photos on Weibo. I mean the photos taken by professional photographers, not the photos taken by selfies or photo killers like me.

The uncles and aunts danced very happily, and the children laughed happily. The fountain not far away began to spit out its own joy when it was on time.

Shi Jing and I were silent, I didn't speak and neither did she.

I was a little nervous not knowing what to say, obviously I asked her out, but now I can't say a word.

After maybe a century, I pursed my lips and said, "Thank you."

"Huh?" Shi Jinghe looked at me sideways, and the dimple I hadn't seen for several days appeared on her lips again, "Why do you say thank you?"

Every time I get along with Shi Jinghe, I can't tell if I'm acting or not.

Every time when I thought I was acting on a mission, I showed my truest self in front of her many times.

I'm angry, I'm sad, I'm upset, etc.

I didn't dare to look at her, I stared at the place in front of me, lowered my head slightly, and said: "I used to think that Qiu Yu might have to break up with me by hurting me, so I still treat her I will never forget, even if I haven't contacted her for a long time and haven't heard her news for a long time, I will still think of her."

"You said it took you a long time to forget your ex, but why didn't I? I still want to compare with you, maybe I can beat you in five years."

I turned my head to look at her, and smiled at her: "But now I don't want to compare at all, the two of us are miserable enough, we still need to compete."

The makeup on Shi Jinghe's face has not been removed yet. Compared with her light makeup before, she looks a bit more fairy now.

There were a few leaves that were so light that they were easily swept around by the wind, passed us and then ran in other directions.

Shi Jinghe bent his eyes, then raised his hand and gently placed it on top of my head.

"My sister told me she won't be unhappy when you touch her head."

"I'll try to see if it works."