Pretend to be straight

I watched this movie alone, but because my mood was affected, it was a comedy cartoon, and I didn't laugh as happily as others.

The mood was unavoidably a little heavy, because Shi Jinghe said that her ex had come to Yuncheng.

Why is it heavy?I thought about it carefully, maybe it was because I wanted to watch a movie alone.

Although before that, I thought it would be a pleasure to watch a movie alone.

Or... I'm in a bad mood because I envy her that she can still see her ex, envy that she can see her, but I can't.

Although Qiu Yu is just one of my exes, she should be called my first love.

But I can't see her because she has gone abroad, and I still don't know if she has returned to China.

In my world, there has been no news of her for several years. I don't know if she is doing well abroad, and whether her English, which I once hated, has been improved.

I have no way of knowing these, and no one will tell me if I want to know.

So I probably couldn't see it because Shi Jinghe could see it. I feel helpless that Qiu Yu still reminds me a little bit.

what can i doI've tried hard enough.

One year after she left, I fell in love with Yu Mo, and I really tried to like him, but I couldn't.

I couldn't do it with every boyfriend after that, even when I was in love with them, I would still think of Qiu Yu frequently.

Is she a bit of witchcraft?Put a long love Gu on me, so that I will never forget her in this life.

Thinking of this made me feel tired, and I lost my energy when I got home. I went out happily, but when I came back, I was tired.

After taking a bath, I took medicine and fell asleep. I know, I started to mourn again.

I'm also very tired of such a mournful self, but I really can't help it. My parents left early, and I was deprived of the opportunity to jump into their arms long ago.

Same as before, each funeral takes about a few days, and I have to recover slowly during these few days.

Meng Yisheng called me during this period, she said she was fine, and there was a faint smile between her words, I even imagined her expression when she said this.

If she thinks it's good, then let's say it's good.

She didn't tell me any more details, and told me to take care of my body, it's almost November now, don't catch a cold.

"Okay." After I finished speaking, she hung up the phone, and my forced smile dropped instantly.

It's really tiring, if only I could really eat and wait to die.

I turned to the chat dialog box with Shi Jinghe on the phone, and the word "predecessor" still stabbed my eyes.

I raised my hand and rubbed my eyes, okay, probably because I haven’t slept well these days, and taking medicine is useless, so my eyes are physically painful, and the "ex" definitely has nothing to do with it.

But this is still not enough, my heart is clamoring crazily, let me go out for a walk, don't stay at home.

Xie Ying told me the same way, but I refused at first, but when Yuan Xinrui approached me on Thursday, I agreed again.

She is my client, or a repeat customer, and she said that she would be able to take orders on the weekend, but because of Meng Yisheng's incident, it's already Thursday, and it would be bad if I didn't go.

I don't like pigeon people, reputation is very important to me.

So I changed my clothes and put on makeup to cover the dark circles under my eyes so that I looked good before going out.

Xie Ying was not at home when she went out, she was at work, she received a new order yesterday, it would take about three days, and now it is only the second day.

After driving to Yuda, I walked to the basketball court of Yuda according to the road in memory. Yuan Xinrui told me that she was still waiting for me at this place.

I saw her last time, this time I don't need her to wait for me at the entrance of the venue, I soon saw Yuan Xinrui sitting in the crowd.

She is still alone, and her loneliness is not a lie.

I took a look, and there was still a match between the Chinese Department and the Foreign Language Department, which also meant that the boyfriend of the boy she had a crush on was playing again.

I sat down next to her, and the moment I looked at the top of her head, I wanted to bend over and rub her.

But I held back because I was not familiar with it.

If it was Jin Lin, I would definitely get started.But today is only Thursday, and Jin Lin will leave school tomorrow. I haven't seen her for almost two weeks, and I still miss her a little.

Yuan Xinrui looked up at me a little bit, her expression still didn't change, she just said lightly: "You're here."

I nodded, and put a tissue under my buttocks again: "Yeah."

I'm not short-sighted, but I wore glasses today. I used to wear them when I was doing tasks, but now I wear them just to blur others - I don't want to be seen with dark circles.

Although I covered it with makeup.

When I came last time, I didn't know who Yuan Xinrui was looking at, I just listened to her talk.

She is now the same as last time, looking at the basketball court, but she doesn't follow anyone.

The game on the field was in full swing, and there were endless cheers and cheers. There was a boy who seemed to be very popular, and there was a fan club. Among the girls watching the game, there were always screams when he scored a goal.

I pursed my lips and asked Yuan Xinrui: "Well, number 8, is the most popular guy his boyfriend?"

I didn't seem to have seen it when I came last time. Even if I knew in my heart that I hadn't paid attention to anyone at all, I definitely wouldn't have any impression of the person who played last time standing in front of me.

Yuan Xinrui shook her head: "No."

I nodded, and just about to say "Okay", I heard Yuan Xinrui say, "It's him."

"..." I was completely shocked. It turned out that the tall and handsome No. 8 on the field at the moment was the boy she had a crush on.

Because I also thought about it before, what kind of boy does he like? Could he be a little bookish?

But I didn't expect it to be such a popular type.

Yuan Xinrui pursed her lips. I don't know why recently, but I always take a look at other people's lips for peeling.

Her lips looked moist with lipstick.

She opened her mouth and said, "His boyfriend was injured, and he came to beat him up." She sighed softly, "It's so sweet."

I:"......"

I thought for a second: "Little sister, why don't you like someone else?"

She turned to look at me with a calm expression, but there was a little helplessness in her eyes.

She said, "You think I don't want to?"

She turned back again: "But it's so difficult."

Yes, it's so difficult.

I watched No. 8 on the court with her. He was dripping with sweat and his jersey was a little wet. After his team scored a goal, he smiled happily and brilliantly.

At this moment, I turned my head to look at Yuan Xinrui again, there was a faint smile on the corner of her mouth.

I let out a breath secretly, once again feeling that feelings are really difficult for people to guess.

Xie Ying likes Li Zi who has a girlfriend, and is willing to be a spare tire. When Li Zi calls her, she will cry at most, and she will not blame Li Zi for anything.

Yuan Xinrui likes No. 8, and No. 8 likes another boy. Yuan Xinrui even fancied going to practice basketball by herself to see if she would fall in love with her, although she knew it was impossible.

What is this kind of person?It is typical of not looking back after hitting the south wall.

Before the first half was over, Yuan Xinrui asked me to leave with her.

I already have a little psychological shadow on the football field. When I was walking with her on the road outside, I was a little worried about going to the football field again, but she might also know what I was thinking in my heart, and took me to another place—— by the lake.

Yudayoukou Lake is famous throughout the province, and people from other places often come here to take pictures.

A row of willow trees were planted by the lake, and there were benches under the trees, and there were still people reciting words by the guardrail.

Opposite the bench we sat on is the library, which is very grand and imposing. The lake reflects the shadow of the library, and when the water waves shake, the shadow also shakes.

I just stared at a shadow and saw...teal ducks playing freely on it.

Yuan Xinrui sat quietly without speaking, and I took the initiative to speak again: "Your school has a good ecology, and the teal ducks are very happy."

"Which school did you go to?" Yuan Xinrui asked me.

"Me? I belong to Yuncai, that is, Yunzhou University of Finance and Economics."

"What about professionalism?"

"Accounting."

"Then why didn't you become an accountant?"

"I don't want to, I'm not free, I don't like it."

Yuan Xinrui stopped talking, I thought for a while, and said to her: "When I was the same age as you, I had a lover. As for her, she was more popular than me, had better grades than me, and was prettier than me. I saw her At that time, I never thought that I would be with her in the future. Later, I chased her, and it didn't take much effort, and she was with me. After being together, the life should be considered sweet, she likes to make me cry. Not to make me laugh, she said she likes to see me cry, she will feel bad and like me more."

It may have been suppressed for too long, but I actually started to mention Qiu Yu to Yuan Xinrui: "You also know what my job is now. As for me, I always think that my crying scenes are the best, maybe because of the time we were together. Out of exercise. As long as she makes me unhappy or sad, I will cry, silently or with sound, I just want to attract her attention, make her feel sorry for me and make her like me more, so that I will not Willing to leave me."

Yuan Xinrui didn't speak from the beginning to the end. She pursed her lips and listened to me quietly, and didn't talk too much about me.

My eyes gradually turned red, but I held back my tears, I sucked my nose and continued: "I thought that as long as there is enough emotional support, the relationship between the two of us will not be broken, and she is still my lover." , I'm still her girlfriend. But it's not like this. When I was a sophomore, my parents had an accident, they left me, and she left me. She said I was unlucky, that I would only Crying, that's when I realized that in the end she was already numb, and when she saw my tears, she wouldn't feel sorry for me or like me more."

When I said this, it seemed that I was numb, and I wanted to cry, but I didn't cry.

The teal on the lake also swam somewhere during this period. I took off my glasses and put them aside, and I heard Yuan Xinrui ask, "What happened next?"

"Then it was natural to break up. She went abroad, and I never saw her again."

"But I often think of her. For a while, I had nightmares every day. The dreams were full of her appearance when she said I was unlucky, which made me afraid and frightened me. During that time, the sky was gray, just like the sky now, I can't see the sun all the time, and stay alone in a dark corner."

"Later, I also forgot what I experienced when I was suffering from depression. Before I knew it, so many years had passed."

"Then do you still think of her now?"

"Yes, so I am very distressed and want to forget."

"Maybe you should start a new relationship."

"...I tried it with several boys during this period, it didn't work."

Yuan Xinrui looked terrified: "I thought you hadn't looked for it." After she finished speaking, she asked me again, "Then do you have someone you like now? Or someone you can like?"

I nodded slowly, but my tone was uncertain: "Yes..."

I know this person's answer, that is Shi Jinghe, but I don't know if I can like her.

I haven't contacted her in the past few days, obviously there have been times like this before.

But this time, I miss her so much.