The difference between cloud and mud

The phone alarm clock rang three times before the two got up to clean up the mess.Xiao Fengtai had just experienced personnel affairs, and suddenly his body and legs were so weak that he could hardly stand up, so he had to be half-supported and half-carried by Jiang Tong to the bathroom to be cleaned from the inside out.

When sending him out, Jiang Tong was still worried: "Is it okay to go downstairs by myself?"

Xiao Fengtai waved his hand: "It's okay, you can go back."

He walked briskly into the elevator, his hair was just blow-dried, fluffy and soft, bouncing up and down with his movements, showing a rare lively and lovely age-appropriate.

Standing by the window, Jiang Tong looked out through the gap in the drawn curtains, watching Xiao Fengtai walk out of the apartment building and get into the car that was already waiting downstairs.Before getting into the car, Xiao Fengtai seemed to have a feeling, and looked back at the apartment.Jiang Tong was not found, but he seemed to think of something interesting and sweet. He lowered his head and pursed his lips and smiled before opening the car door and getting in.

Jiang Tong has been watching Xiao Fengtai's back.It wasn't until the car the boy was riding in disappeared at the end of the road that he realized later that he also had a smile on his face.

He should insist on giving Xiao Fengtai a well-prepared and expensive gift until he reaches adulthood, and it's not for the purpose of tricking the young man into agreeing with him.It was Mrs. Xiao's shadow that took root in his heart, causing him to have delusions and possessive desires with impurities.

Didn't she look down on him?He looked down on him so much that he didn't even bother to hide his disgust and contempt.She tried to drive him away from her precious grandson as if he were some poisonous pathogen.However, the precious grandson she took care of carefully slipped out of the aseptic warehouse again and again, looked at him with moist and nostalgic eyes, kissed him, touched him, and begged him to possess him.

He has no doubts about his feelings for Xiao Fengtai.But when the two climbed to the peak of lust together, Jiang Tong's chaotic and blank heart flashed like a flash of thought—if only he could call Mrs. Xiao now, so that she could listen to Xiao Fengtai's panting and moaning , to hear how he woos beneath him.

His brisk mood lasted the whole day until Fang Dayong called late at night.

Song Yiyi's attack was sudden.At noon the first day, she also ate a small bowl of steamed custard, half a bowl of rice, and half a steamed bun. In the afternoon, she went out with Jiang Bei and walked around the garden in the middle of the street.It might have been windy outside, but the next day she had mild cold symptoms, loss of appetite, took cold medicine and lay back in bed to rest.In the evening, Fang Dayong specially cooked porridge for her. Before she could drink the porridge, she was sent to the hospital by ambulance because of vomiting and violent convulsions.

After entering the hospital for an examination, the cancer cells had spread to the brain. The doctor tactfully hinted that the family could start preparing for the funeral.

"It doesn't make sense." Fang Dayong repeated over and over again in a panic on the phone: "Yesterday he was fine, a living person who can eat and sleep, why did he enter the ICU today? The hospital must have made a mistake...it doesn't make sense." !"

Jiang Tong felt a little absurd in his despair - if the progress of cancer is reasonable, how can it be terminally ill?

"Calm down first, the doctor must explain the worst situation clearly first, and things may not be that bad." Jiang Tong forced himself to comfort Fang Dayong: "Please send me a copy of the laboratory test sheet, what medicine the doctor has prescribed now ? Have you paid all the hospital fees?”

"Okay, okay." Fang Dayong was stuttered by the series of questions he was facing, and then he remembered the original intention of calling: "Tongtong, if you have it handy, can you transfer 1 yuan to uncle?"

Jiang Tong was taken aback: "Has the previous money been spent?"

Fang Dayong's voice became a little ethereal and weak: "It's not that your mother saw it all right before, she took the initiative to mention it to me. Half of the money you sent is stored in the financial management to earn some interest, and the rest is given to Beibei Enroll in a cram school. I have saved money for a regular period, and I will not be able to withdraw it for a while..."

Jiang Tong was speechless, and the pressure of silence was transmitted along the telephone line from the Strait of Malacca to the North China Plain.Fang Dayong knew that he couldn't justify himself, so he could only force himself to explain: "Tongtong, uncle is confused this time, you can criticize him however you want in the future. Now the doctor in the hospital is waiting to see the receipt. .”

"I'll pay now." Jiang Tong said coldly: "Please send me the test report and doctor's prescription as soon as possible. I will book a ticket back to Beijing tomorrow, and I will meet and talk about it if I have something to do."

Jiang Tong took the morning flight back to Beijing.The schedule was rushed, and he got on the plane wearing a single shirt. When he walked out of the airport, he felt that he was soaked in ice water from head to toe. The cold air was rough and choked his nose.

It's also good to be cold.Finally, I sat in a taxi with full heating, and my unconscious limbs gradually returned to function amidst the tingling pain.Jiang Tong opened the car window a slit, and the strong wind poured into the car, whining, scraping his face like a sharp knife, scraping away the chaos and drowsiness of the turbulent plane all the way.

The sky is overcast and hazy, and behind the thick gray clouds, the sun with a vague outline emits a pale and feeble light, a typical northern winter noon.Abstract glass-curtained buildings and Soviet-style buildings left over from the last century are crowded on both sides of the road. Tall and low buildings of various shapes are all covered with thick dust, looking listless.

When I arrived at the hospital, I went to see Song Yiyi first.The person is still in the ICU, Jiang Tong can only visit through the glass.The woman was so thin that she had tubes inserted all over her body. The ambiguous and chaotic liquid was poured in and out at the same time, creating a visually overwhelming effect that made her look thinner and dry, a lifeless walking corpse.

Fang Dayong whispered next to him: "I was admitted to the hospital last night and took a sedative, but I haven't woken up yet. The doctor said that as long as the platelets stabilize, ICU will be released tomorrow."

He glanced away as he spoke, still daring not to look at him.Jiang Tong didn't have time to blame him. The final exam season was approaching, and things in school had piled up. He asked for leave in a hurry, booked a flight back to Singapore tomorrow night, and didn't even have time to see his mother wake up.

Even the time was blurred during the dozens of hours in Beijing.Communicated with the attending doctor to finalize the next stage of treatment plan, went through medical insurance procedures, paid hospitalization fees, and contacted relatives from his hometown to help take care of him. Sitting side by side for two hours is no longer easy.There are also platelets, human albumin that Song Yiyi wants to use, targeted drugs imported from the United States, white needles, all of which are either out of stock or not available in the hospital, forcing Jiang Tong and Fang Dayong to split into two ways, The small pharmacies near the hospital were searched one by one.

But also to appease Beibei.Song Yiyi had a seizure in the middle of the night, and the girl was awakened. Seeing the frightening appearance of her stepmother foaming at the mouth and twitching her limbs, her little face turned pale with fright, and her big eyes were full of fear.She held Jiang Tong's sleeve, and asked carefully and cautiously: "Auntie will be fine soon?"

Although she is ignorant, she has an animal-like intuition, knowing that the person who is really at the helm of the family is not her biological father, but her almost non-existent elder brother who usually travels far away to study abroad.

"The sky is falling, and there is a brother to support it." Jiang Tong rubbed her head. He really loved this younger sister who was picked up halfway: "You just study hard, the exam is more important than anything else."

At three o'clock in the morning, Beibei had already fallen asleep, Fang Dayong was in bed with her in the hospital, and Jiang Tong was sitting at the table by herself, with passbooks and bank cards of different colors spread out on the table.

Not counting the house I live in now, the cash available to the family plus Jiang Tong’s savings is considered reasonable. If I’m lucky, I might be able to survive this outbreak without borrowing foreign debts.

However, Song Yiyi's illness was violent, and the floodgates of money were opened. In the long run, this little savings would be nothing more than a drop in the bucket.

Having not slept for two consecutive nights, the back of Jiang Tong's head seemed to be hit irregularly with a hammer, driving non-existent nails into the depths of his brain one by one.He obviously only ate something casually when he got off the plane, but at the moment his throat was filled with nausea, and his chest seemed to be pressed by a huge boulder.The black numbers printed on the passbook twisted and jumped before his eyes, making his eyes sore and almost tearful.

On the way from the airport to the hospital, he received his first rejection letter.

Jiang Tong applied for a total of five schools, three top private schools, and two guaranteed public schools.He considers himself a cautious and conservative person, adhering to a completely objective and rational mentality when choosing a school.When Pei Jing discussed writing PS with him, she tapped the name of the last school on the application list with a ballpoint pen, and the contempt and puzzlement in her eyes were clearly visible.

"It's too much to use as a guarantee," he seemed to say to Jiang Tong at that time: "Except for the scholarship, there is no resource advantage. As a scholar, choosing here is tantamount to slow suicide."

However, it was this public university in central China that sent the rejection letter first.

He never even had the chance to commit suicide slowly.

The cold wind howled outside the window, blowing the glass to slamming.Jiang Tong is not a hypocritical person. In the lonely and lonely night, he suddenly felt a rare sadness.

Why is life so hard, so difficult?He has worked very hard and lived very hard.Didn't it say that God rewards those who work hard?Isn't it said that a good person lives a safe life?Why wouldn't God even let him leak a little luck through his fingers?

Things have happened and emotions don't help.He turned on his phone, wanting to tell Pei Jing the bad news, and discuss the next step tomorrow.The postgraduate program of this school has not yet ended, no matter how much you miss, it is still easy to earn a master's degree under Professor Gu's hands.The worst case scenario is nothing more than two years of test tubes and re-accumulation of paper to apply for the Bo.

He tried his best to ignore the fatal flaw in this plan, and he did not think about how to finance the tuition for the master's degree.

A row of red dots in WeChat is understandable, he left in a hurry, and he only had time to ask the professor who was in class today.Xiao Fengtai's avatar was at the top of the contact list, and seeing the shocking number of unread messages, Jiang Tong realized that he hadn't contacted him for a whole day.

Both parties are straightforward people, unlike ordinary couples of the opposite sex who wish to stick together through modern communication methods all the time.Even so, losing contact for a day without saying hello is a bit too much.

Xiao Fengtai's last attempt to contact him occurred at one o'clock in the morning when a voice call failed to connect.

"I have something to do at home. I'm in Beijing, so I haven't had time to check my phone. I'll be back tomorrow. I'm sorry."

Rubbing his thumb over the send key, he thought and thought, and deleted the apology.After sending out the message in one go, Jiang Tong directly exited the chat history, ignoring the double-digit unread messages sent by Xiao Fengtai during the day.

This is completely unreasonable anger and suspicion, but he can't control himself.

Although the skin is loose and the crystals are cloudy, the outline of Mrs. Xiao's eyes is actually very similar to Xiao Fengtai's.The same narrow double eyelids, with upturned eye tails, is a beautiful arc that is too enchanting and less plain.Xiao Fengtai's profile picture is a random and overexposed landscape photo, but Jiang Tong seems to be able to see the young man himself through the landscape, and see his red eyes because of anger and grievance.In the past, he couldn't resist such gazes, but now he suddenly saw clearly that there was another pair of eyes hidden behind Xiao Fengtai's eyes.Mrs. Xiao smiled confidently. When they parted, she said calmly and confidently that we will see each other soon.

Jiang Tong never believed her veiled threats, but maybe the rejection letter came too fast and unreasonable, and the logical thinking he was proud of completely collapsed.Can the Xiao family really reach out to the unknown university in the middle of the Pacific Ocean?How did Madam Xiao do it?Write an anonymous letter?To discredit him to his letter writers?Or is it more direct and rude, donating the "remuneration" originally given to him to the school, and using money to block his way to climb up?

He knew he couldn't think anymore.Go to sleep, everything will be fine tomorrow.Jiang Tong put away the passbook and bank cards one by one, washed hastily and lay down on the bed.He fell asleep quickly, but he didn't sleep well. There were many dazzling colors and chaotic pictures in the dream, but the plot was broken.When awakened by the alarm, Jiang Tong could hardly remember anything.

Almost, because a scene, the moment he opened his eyes, was firmly seared in his mind like a film developing.

It was when he and Xiao Fengtai first met.In the magnificent hexagonal small study room, with the blue sea and blue sky outside the window, a noble and beautiful young man stood beside the pear wood desk, with a cold and provocative smile in his black eyes.He stretched out his hand to him, with slender fingers and jade-like skin, and the check between his fingers swayed gently in the air, like a small white flag.

"It's not incomprehensible." Pei Jing's expression was calm after hearing the bad news: "You are obviously overqualified, and the school admissions office can tell that you are not your first choice at a glance."

Jiang Tong couldn't laugh or cry: "Thank you senior for your comfort."

Pei Jing gave him a strange look: "I'm not comforting you, I'm blaming you. Your application strategy is wrong, I said it when I changed the ps for you."

"I want to apply for a master's degree in our school." Jiang Tong didn't want to get too entangled in this topic: "It should be too late to apply for Professor Gu's laboratory. Assuming the worst case, I can read an mphil first and save money during the period. Thesis side reapply."

"It's not necessary." However, Pei Jing interrupted him bluntly: "According to your current situation, I have two suggestions. First, the application channel for the assistant researcher of the North American Laboratory has not been closed, please ask the professor to introduce you to some Opportunity. Second, several pharmaceutical companies focusing on biopharmaceutical R&D are still recruiting, so you can consider submitting your resume. It is unrealistic to study for a graduate student, and you cannot afford the tuition.”

Jiang Tong was taken aback.

"You are short of money, right?" Pei Jing frankly faced his astonished expression: "I happened to pass by when you asked Professor Gu for leave last week, so I didn't eavesdrop on it on purpose."

"I apologize to you for my previous reckless attitude." Pei Jing didn't say it clearly, but Jiang Tong heard that he was referring to their first group project.

Jiang Tong didn't feel comforted when the senior, who always had his eyes above the top, bowed his head and admitted his mistakes. Instead, he felt offended: "You don't need to apologize. I did have a bad attitude before, and I shouldn't let my personal affairs affect my research work."

The implication is that as a laboratory colleague, Pei Jing has no right to dictate his personal life.

However, Pei Jing, who is rough and careless in life, showed the fineness and sensitivity of a scientist at critical moments. He folded his arms and looked at Jiang Tong up and down.

"Why are you angry?"

Jiang Tong retorted subconsciously: "I didn't."

Pei Jing ignored him, and said to herself: "You don't want outsiders to see the discord in your life. If you live in a different place, I will do the same. I forgive your emotional expression, but you must seriously consider my suggestion."

"Jiang Tong, has anyone told you that your self-esteem is so high as to be abnormal." Pei Jing looked at Jiang Tong unscrupulously, his eyes were curious, with neutral inquiry, like a scalpel, cutting with precision his emotions.

"People say you have a good temper, that you are comfortable with you, that you are the most considerate and prudent person, and that you always look at other people's points of view. They are all deceived by you."

"The way you act is—" He squinted his eyes to find the words: "It's a mask, you enjoy the feeling of being praised and depended on, so you don't allow things to escape your control - of course things will escape You're in control, you just have to look organized."

"You're angry because I just offered advice from your point of view. You know in your heart that I'm right, but you're angry and flustered because I've broken through the mask of your ego and I'm pointing at you A reality that you can’t yet face. You hate when someone sees through the difficulties of your situation before you do.”

"Jiang Tong" he leaned forward, with interesting eyes: "Are you tired?"

Jiang Tong smiled: "Don't seniors consider taking a double degree in the Department of Literature and Drama?"

Pei Jing didn't think it was disobedient: "I won't be angry at what you say today, I did offend you. But I must declare that I am very optimistic about your academic prospects—on the premise that you put your mind right."

"What if I don't change my mind?"

"There are far more setbacks on the academic road than you look like." Pei Jing said flatly: "What you see now is just the tip of the iceberg. According to your current appearance, failure and disappointment will crush you sooner or later."

The familiar dull pain came back again, hitting the back of Jiang Tong's head once and for all.

He squeezed out words between his teeth: "Thank you senior for your suggestion, I'll think about it."

Pei Jing is doing it for his own good.Jiang Tong knew it in his heart.But reason and emotion cannot be united.Shame ignites anger, and there is panic hidden in the anger, like being stripped naked in a busy city, and just want to run away.

calm down.Jiang Tong said to himself in his heart.Pei Jing is the second-in-command in the laboratory, and in the future, when you ask him to do something, you can't lose your composure in front of him.

His pent-up anger finally exploded completely in front of another person's kindness.