The difference between cloud and mud

"I look down on myself." Xiao Fengtai said suddenly.

Jiang Tong was taken aback.

Xiao Fengtai raised his head and drank the remaining wine in the glass. Seeing that Jiang Tong didn't move, he poured another full glass by himself.The white froth rose slowly, gradually covered the rim of the cup, and flowed down from the cup wall.

Xiao Fengtai held the wine glass tightly, the air bubbles passed through his fingers, it was slippery and cold.Alcohol is like a cold liquid flame, and it gradually burns when it enters the stomach.A dark fire started from bottom to top, making him dizzy, and he had the courage to say things that he would not dare to say normally.

"Before today, I was actually very scared." He said to Jiang Tong.

"I don't think I'm good enough for you."

Jiang Tong looked at him in disbelief, unable to speak for a moment.He almost thought that Xiao Fengtai was mocking him, but the young man's eyes were open and clear, and there was no trace of teasing or deceit.

"Obviously the age gap is not big, but I always feel that your life is far away from me. You never seem to lose control."

"It's different from me." Xiao Fengtai struggled to find the words: "Your life is...very balanced. You know what you want, and you work hard every day. You are a reliable friend, hardworking Students, responsible teachers. You played each role very well."

"Even if you were provoked by me like that at the beginning, you were not angry. I have never seen you angry before today. Not just anger, anxiety, grievance, disappointment... It seems that you have never been there. You are not all day The type who laughs and giggles, but always looks positive and warm." It made him feel solid and dependent.

"...In short, the misunderstanding between us is all our fault." He said firmly: "Looking at your appearance, everyone thinks that you were raised in a middle-class family with a scholarly family, or that your parents have a particularly harmonious relationship! "

Otherwise, how could there be so much spare energy to share enthusiasm and care with others.

"Compared to you, I feel very naive and stupid. After we are together, I often think, what do you like about me?"

"Passion in the face of obscurity? A decent appearance? Or my money? — to be precise, my family's money?"

"I don't like either answer, so I'm scared. Maybe you're tired of me before I grow up. Or you've never liked me, so you're too lazy to let me see the incompleteness in your life."

"You're right, I just have to know these things."

"I want to know about your past failures, your pain, which subjects you did not do well in middle school, and the ugly things you did in front of your friends... Teacher Jiang, I don't want to be your student anymore. I think we are two equals."

"Isn't it very dark." Xiao Fengtai smiled miserably, only to find that his eyes were filled with tears unknowingly: "Use your miserable life to make up for the inferiority complex in my heart. I never thought that one day I would say that I was so poor that I only had money left."

"Sounds really hypocritical, doesn't it."

Tears finally gushed out of his eyes, he let go of all his defenses, surrendered to Jiang Tong, and killed him.

"Mr. Jiang, I have no choice."

"I like you."

He didn't want Jiang Tong to see his tearful eyes, and he focused on lowering his head to stare at the table, watching the tears crackle and fall on the artificial birch pattern.

Never again.Xiao Fengtai's heart was in chaos, only one thought was clear.He will never be so humble to anyone or anything again.

The tabletop seemed to vibrate, but he didn't pay attention.A breeze passed by, and his arms were tightly grasped in the next second.

Jiang Tong held the suitcase with one hand, picked him up with the other, and strode towards the intersection.He staggered and followed Jiang Tong forward, feeling a dull pain and numbness from blood loss in his arms.

Is Jiang Tong angry?Will he teach him a lesson?Or just break up with him?

Alcohol dulled his mind. He was thinking hard when suddenly his back hurt and he was pushed against the wall by Jiang Tong.

"Hurry up and be an adult."

Jiang Tong's voice was closer than he imagined.Just as Xiao Fengtai opened his mouth to answer, Jiang Tong kissed him deeply.

Between the noisy lights of the night market and the continuous sound of traffic on the main road, there is a short fork in the road. There are no street lights and no human voices.Absolute darkness and relative silence.His heartbeat, Jiang Tong's heartbeat, the sound of Jiang Tong's eyelashes twitching, the sound of Jiang Tong rubbing against his skin, the sound of his lips and teeth intertwining, suddenly amplified and amplified again, making every cell in Xiao Fengtai resonate.Jiang Tong kissed him almost as if he was going to tear him apart, Xiao Fengtai felt dizzy from the mild hypoxia.Jiang Tong was longing for him, and the tip of his tongue delivered his desire, a hot and painful desire.