The last time to say I love you

In the hospital, Gao Li fell into a coma until the next day before waking up. As soon as he woke up, he saw someone he didn't want to see in the ward.

The strong smell of alcohol permeated his entire nasal cavity and made him feel irritable, and the pain in his head seemed to explode, making him frown inadvertently.

Gao Lu hadn't recovered from the nightmare just now, the beads of sweat on his head made him sweat profusely, panting heavily, he suddenly threw off the quilt and ran towards the door, ignoring the man with bare feet.

Xu Zhisheng...

What about Xu Zhisheng?He wants to see Xu Zhisheng! !

After opening the door, two male bodyguards in suits standing outside tacitly stopped Gao Li from taking half a step out of the ward.

Without saying a word, Gao Li raised his fist and punched the bodyguard in the face with red eyes, like an enraged lion.

"What a dog! Stop you/Mom, stop!"

The two bodyguards did not dare to touch Gao Li without instructions from the man, so they were quickly beaten by Gao Li riding on him and pulling his collar. One desperately wanted to separate the crazy Gao Li from the other bodyguard. This little ancestor's strength is too strong to be separated, but he still punched him a few times for no reason.

The man looked at the back of Gao Li who was wearing a hospital gown and sneered:

"You thought you'd see him?"

Gao Lv, who straddled the security guard, became sober after a sudden movement.

The air was quiet for a while, Gao Li let go of the security guard's collar, walked quickly to the man, and grabbed the man's collar without saying a word, not shy about his relationship with the man, and asked angrily:

"What do you mean?"

The man sneered: "Don't ask me what I mean, you have always been a smart person, don't you know what I mean?"

"What about him? Huh?"

Gao Lv tightly grabbed the man in formal attire who was expressionless and serious, unable to hide his disgust.

The man stared at him fixedly, and the words he spit out made all his rationality collapse.

"died."

Gao Lv's mind went blank as if struck by lightning, Xu Zhisheng's pale face and the scary deep scars on his wrists kept flashing in his mind.

"How is it possible... how is it possible..."

When Gao Lu looked at the man with red eyes, he laughed softly a few times, but tears rolled down his face in an instant.

"You're lying to me, aren't you..."

Gao Li's voice was already crying: "You're lying to me...you want to lie to me, right?"

It hurts... His heart really hurts...

"You lied to me...you lied to me!!!" Gao Li yelled heartbreakingly at the man in front of him.

They lied to him all along.

Liar... How could Xu Zhisheng die? He hasn't taken him to see the starry sky in Chuanjiang... He hasn't heard him call out his name with joy...

He hasn't taken him to see the flowers all over the mountains... There are so many things that he hasn't done yet...

Gao Li threw off the collar of the man in the suit and strode towards the door. The two bodyguards who had just been beaten up by Gao Li stopped Gao Li again.

"Get out! Get out of here!!!"

The man in the suit waved to the bodyguard to let him go, the bodyguard nodded and stepped back to let Gao Li go.

"where……"

Gao Li stumbled from room to room looking for Xu Zhisheng, and when he saw the ward at the end guarded by the police, he quickly ran over, but the man followed him just now. He nodded at the policemen standing on both sides, but the police didn't stop him. with.

Gao Lv's hand holding the handle was trembling all the time, he lacked the strength and courage and was even afraid that when he turned the doorknob, what he would see would not be the Xu Zhisheng who called his name.

Gao Lv raised his head and forced the tears back into his eyes, stretched out his hand to straighten his wrinkled hospital gown, and then stretched out his hand to twist away the cold ward handle.

The moment the door opened, the person inside who covered it with a white cloth immediately sentenced Gao Li to death, and he closed the door of the ward behind his back.

Gao Lv could no longer control his emotions after lifting the white cloth with trembling hands and seeing that the person lying inside was a familiar face.

"how so……"

Tears dripped down his face onto the white cloth, and gradually blurred on the white cloth, just like his sadness, magnified and magnified little by little...

Before he fainted, he hugged that cold and outrageous young man like a dream, obviously he had seen him not long ago.

He said: Gao Li, thank you.

If it was me who met you at that time, and it was me who met you earlier than Li Su, Xu Zhisheng, would you like me?Even if just a little bit.

The boy said: Yes, you are so good, I think I will be tempted.

That was the first time he saw that young man smiling, the corners of his mouth were up against the light, and his whole body was filled with tenderness from the bones. At that moment, all the prosperity in the world could not compare to him.

Obviously not long ago he carried that boy on his back for a long, long journey.

He hadn't seen that young man who was gentle to the bone, tall and full of glory...

He hasn't let those people kneel at the boy's feet to plead guilty and repent.

He hasn't washed away all the sins he shouldn't bear for that boy...

Haven't punished all the sinners who killed that young man with kindness in his bones...

But his kindness forced him to death...

His kindness cost him his life...

This world...is never worthy of that young man's kindness...

This world is really unfair to that boy...

It turns out that gentle people will not be treated kindly in this world...

He knelt beside the hospital bed and touched Xu Zhisheng's hand little by little. He looked at Xu Zhisheng who had his eyes tightly closed with sincere and affectionate eyes, his face full of pain.

"Xu Zhisheng... can you hear me? Can you hear me? It's dark over there, don't go there... come back... come back."

There was no reply, Gao Lv's heart was breaking apart little by little, sinking little by little.

He held Xu Zhisheng's hand and pressed it against the hospital bed for a long time, until he lost all emotion before standing up.

The wind blew in from the window of the ward, and the tears on Gao Lu's face were still wet. He looked at Xu Zhisheng's face and said softly:

"You wait for me... I will drag them all to hell and I will accompany you... Let me meet you first in the next life, okay? Let's go together, and I will protect you."

Gao Lv turned around and walked towards the door. Just like this, he left the ward and walked down the corridor in a daze. No one could see that something was wrong with him.

But the man in the suit is bleeding the same blood as him after all, and after watching him grow up, he can see that something is wrong with him, so he grabs Gao Li's hand and won't let him go:

"What are you still making trouble about? How much more trouble do you want to make? This is a murder case, not a play!!"

Gao Lu's gaze met the man in the suit. When he heard the man's words, Gao Lu's heart skipped a beat and he felt extremely uncomfortable. The red blood in his eyes became more and more obvious. The sore spot made him unable to contain his rising emotions.

"In your eyes, don't I always make trouble? Prosecutor Gao?"

"What about the murder case? Do you know who is lying in it? The person I like, I watched him die with both eyes..."

"He's dead and you say I'm messing around? Is it that the treasure that others like is worthless in your eyes? Is this how you become a prosecutor?"

"Is this how you/mother act!!!"

"He just bore all the crimes for no reason, suffered all the attacks from those people, suffered all the hardships, and suffered so much. How can you calm me down!!! What if I was the one who was bullied to death? Prosecutor Gao Officer, don’t you just ignore the question?”

"Why did he commit suicide? Do you think he has a brain twitch and can't think about it? He was forced by those animals to have nowhere to go!"

Gao Lv tilted his head and sneered:

"Ha, that's right, in the eyes of your senior prosecutor, I'm just making trouble."

He looked like a wild beast with red eyes at the moment.

"In your eyes, your son and I will never have a single thing right! In your eyes, everything you do is for my own good! It's all right!"

"It's really great... Do you want me to give you the best father award? Do you want to!!"

With a "slap", Gao Li was slapped hard on the face by the man.

The bloody five finger prints appeared on Gao Li's handsome and pale face at the speed of the naked eye, completely stunned him.

Gao Lu's face was turned away by this slap, and his face was in hot pain.

"How could I raise such a thing as you..."

The man was turned green by Gao Lu's angry face. He stared blankly at his trembling hands. He never thought that his son's dissatisfaction would be so serious, and he also didn't think that what he did for him was wrong in the end.

"Forcing me to understand all of you since I was a child...Forcing me to accept what I can't accept..."

There were tears in Gao Lu's eyes but he was stubborn all the time:

"I really don't understand why I'm in this world."

I don't understand why they gave birth to him when they didn't expect him so much...

Why even let him have a hard time.

"You keep it from me and make me wait like a fool for someone who won't come back, and you just look at my jokes like you look at me like a clown..."

"Just tell me the truth when you get divorced, will I not understand? Even if I didn't understand at the time, I won't understand when I grow up!!"

"You have to make me hate all of you! In the end, in your eyes, I'm just fooling around!!"

One packed up his things and said he loved him, but he went out and never came back to see him, and the other married a new wife not long after the divorce.

Don't hide it from him!He had to let him understand this by himself at the time!In the end, he blamed him in turn!

"Forcing me like this and finally saying that I am not filial and that I am not good! Prosecutor Gao! Do you think I am willing to be your son?"

"I'm willing to be your son? Can you understand what it's like to be poked in the back and say that father doesn't love mother?"

Gao Lu has always been stubborn since he was a child, and he can't bring back ten cows for the things he believes in. Because of family reasons, he doesn't usually like to laugh.

Like an elder brother, Jiang Xi always gave him meticulous care and care, so that he, who was trying his best to live, found a way at once, but the road became dark as he walked, and gradually he grew up in the darkness.

Later, I met Xu Zhisheng, his belief for the rest of his life, his sun, his destiny.

It's strange, it's clear that the person Xu Zhisheng yearns for is not him, but he just wants to follow in his footsteps.

Xu Zhisheng is a very gentle person, good at everything, the only bad thing is that he is too gentle and has no temper.

Xu Zhisheng is very satisfied, he will accept the candy with a smile, the moment I gave him the wristband, I also gave away my heart, the most regrettable thing is that the bunch of sunflowers was never delivered to him. destroyed.

I don't like watching Xu Zhisheng cry the most, it's too uncomfortable, really, when he cries, he doesn't make a fuss and hides alone, tears fall, it makes people feel distressed because of the grievance.

On the day he was forced to commit suicide, he saw a post on the campus website saying that Xu Zhisheng was raped when he was in junior high school. In his mind, he didn't hate him or despise him, but wished to kill the person who hurt Xu Zhisheng.

He was afraid that Xu Zhisheng would try his best to call Xu Zhisheng when he saw those bad things. When there were all busy signals, he became anxious, and something was obviously wrong. He was so panicked that he didn't have the heart to think about anything.

When he saw Xu Zhisheng jumping into the river covered in blood, his heart beat out of his chest and followed him. What broke him even more was watching him sinking in front of his eyes little by little, watching him die He was carried up but he was unable to save him.

He tried his best to protect and chase, and the belief in chasing him was gone.

For a moment, he seemed to be unable to find the meaning of living, and he didn't understand why he was living, and he suddenly lost the idea of ​​going on in this kind of confused and unexamined days...

Simply put, he couldn't find any support to keep him alive.

"Isn't it life? I'll pay you back! I'll pay you back!!"

Isn't it life?You wait, I will pay you back when I finish what I want to do.

After Gao Lv yelled at the top of his voice, he ran to the stairwell when the man lost his mind.

When the man came to his senses, Gao Lv had disappeared, only the sound of Gao Lv's footsteps running down, he looked a little pained, and it took a long time before he took out his mobile phone and broadcast to the phone that he hadn't contacted for a long time.

After a few rings, it was connected, and the other side was stunned for a moment before slowly speaking.

"Hello, Mr. Gao."

Prosecutor Gao was silent for a while, and said with a twist:

"Something happened to Xiaolu... There may be a lawsuit... I need you to go back to Chuanjiang... I will pay for all the expenses... He seems to... miss you very much."

The female voice on the other side was also silent for a while before replying:

"Well, okay, then I'll buy a ticket to go there today."

"Okay, sorry for the trouble, be careful and be safe on the road."

"Good Mr. Gao."

After Prosecutor Gao hung up the phone, he couldn't calm down at all. He felt that Gao Li would not be so easy to be serious this time. If he didn't care, something might happen.

Gao Lv and his ex-wife's child, they didn't have much affection in their business marriage, and besides, he already had someone he liked at that time.

Li Jing, the person he likes, his first love.

Before marrying his ex-wife, he cut off all contact with Li Jing, and they didn't have much affection after marriage, but once drunk, he mistakenly mistook his ex-wife for Li Jing's later Gao Li.

After living for ten years, she didn't talk much with her ex-wife during the ten years. Gao Li's mother was a law major, but she couldn't find the harsh words of a law student in her body, and she had a good temper. The more I feel guilty, the more I feel that this will delay each other.

Gao Lu was the one who proposed the divorce when he was nine years old, because he left because he didn't love her. At that time, his ex-wife didn't want anything, even Gao Lu left without asking, and he never saw her in Chuanjiang again.

At that time, Gao Lu was young, and he wanted to slowly understand when he grew up. He also thought that there was no need to tell Gao Lu about these things, and he never thought that this matter would become Gao Lu's pain.

He met Li Jing again on the road, and Li Jing ran into his car on the way back to China. During the conversation, he learned that since the day they cut off contact, Li Jing had left the country for a while in Chuanjiang. Bian is developing well, so I plan to return to Chuanjiang for development.

And Li Jing didn't know if she didn't get over her knot or what. She had a few boyfriends since they separated, but they couldn't go on. Later, Li Jing kept focusing on her career, so that Li Jing was single and hasn't married yet.

After all, it was the first love, the lover they once loved, so they rekindled their old relationship and got married soon.

This incident also became the fuse, and Gao Lv's temper and attitude became more and more bad, and he showed no good looks towards anyone.

He seldom went home during school, and he didn't have time to take care of his many things. Later, he was at the bottom of the grades and got into fights.

Then they developed into what they are now.

On the day after her son Xu Zhisheng's death, Ms. Yang could not accept the news that Xu Zhisheng had died even after seeing Xu Zhisheng's body, even after she fainted and woke up.

"Who died..."

"My Xiaosheng is at home waiting for me to go back..."

"He's waiting for me...he's waiting for me at home...he's so good...how could he leave me..."

Although Ms. Yang said these words, tears kept falling, and her words were choked and trembling.

He ran home without hesitation, followed by the police. The dirty blood on the corridor had already been cleaned by the landlord.

The moment she opened the door, what she wished to see was Xu Zhisheng calling her mother's voice, but what greeted her was an empty rental house, without Xu Zhisheng inside, only the chilly air and endless loneliness.

"You guys don't come in! Don't come in... My whisper is afraid of strangers..."

Ms. Yang locked several policemen outside the door, and they refused to open the door no matter how hard they knocked or tried to persuade them.

Looking at the empty house, Ms. Yang suddenly felt that all the strength in her body was drained, and the hot liquid fell out of her eyes inexplicably, no matter how she wiped it, she couldn't stop it.

no... no...

The one lying on the hospital bed is not his whisper... no!

"Whisper... whisper... Mom is back..."

Ms. Yang went to the bathroom first, and when she saw a bloody knife and dried blood, her heart sank and she stood in a daze for a long time before running to Xu Zhisheng's room.

Under the light of Xu Zhisheng's room, everything in it was displayed in Ms. Yang's eyes.

The room is very clean and tidy, except that the curtains are always closed. There is a set of Lichuan High School uniforms on the bed. On the desk is a lamp that she bought as a gift for Xu Zhisheng. On the table is a pot that she bought for Xu Zhisheng. Prickly pears and succulents.

everything is...

only...

His whisper is gone...

Ms. Yang saw the letter pressed under the desk lamp sharply, and Ms. Yang felt that she had no energy to read what was written on it.

To my beloved mother:

Mom, Ms. Yang, I'm whispering, I'm sorry...by the time you read this letter...I may not be here anymore...

Mom, I'm so sorry, I'm really tired, so I'm leaving first...

In the future, remember to wear more clothes when it’s cold, remember to see a doctor when you’re sick, eat well, don’t run back in the rain when it’s raining, and turn on the lights if you’re afraid of the dark…

Because I can no longer leave the light on and wait for you to come back.

Don't feel sorry for me when I'm gone, I will feel bad...your son is just a coward and doesn't deserve to make you sad.

Mom, thank you, I love you.

So Ms. Yang, thank you in this life, cherish it.

——I love your little voice the most.

After reading this letter, Ms. Yang was sobbing, she fell to the ground and cried bitterly.

Ms. Yang, I had a good time at school today, and my classmates are all very good, so don't worry about me.

Mom, it's okay, I don't hurt, it's just that there is a drama club in school and I took the position of an absent classmate for authenticity and I let him really beat him.

Thinking of these words now, Ms. Yang suddenly realized how painful it was, it hurt so much that her heart ached.

It's her fault...it's because she didn't see Xiao Sheng's fault earlier...

It's because she didn't fulfill her mother's responsibility...

Damn her!

Ms. Yang saw the crumpled paper from the trash can again, crawled in the direction of the trash can, grabbed the trash can with both hands, and took out the crumpled paper from inside.

A few sheets were written to my beloved mother and then crossed out and thrown away. When she opened the last sheet, she saw a sheet full of characters that could still be read even after being crossed out.

To my beloved mother:

Mom, Ms. Yang, Mrs. Xu, I have already met my father when you read this letter.

I'm sorry that I couldn't stick to it, and all of this made me feel tormented.

I thought that I could go out, and I also thought about being with you forever, but I still broke my promise after all.

I can't forget those images that flash into my mind all the time, I can't forget everyone's eyes that hate me, I have to smile at everyone during the day, but at night I'm afraid, Mom, I'm afraid I won't be able to survive , I'm afraid that if I leave you... Father will be angry.

What I saw and heard during the day can always echo in my mind and torment me all the time. I look forward to the arrival of night and at the same time I am afraid of it.

At night, the fear and loneliness in my heart suddenly magnified like vines and entangled me until I couldn't breathe.

However, I found that I am also afraid of the day, I am afraid of facing everyone, and I hate always pretending to be happy to face everyone.

I finally gave myself a chance to let myself go... But Mom, why did they... refuse to let me go...

It was because I did some bad things that cannot be tolerated in the past life, so I was punished in this life to atone for my sins.

Mom, I seem to be sick...

Otherwise, why do they always say that I am sick?Otherwise why don't they like me?

Mom, I don't seem to be doing well anywhere...

I admit that I'm really a failure... so... I'm sorry, I don't deserve to be your son.

Mom...I'm sorry, you gave up your teaching position because of my tiredness since you were a child, because my existence made you suffer everywhere, swallow your anger, because of me...you bear all the accusations and abuse that you shouldn't bear, Mom, sorry Sorry……

I was wrong, I shouldn't have come to this world to drag you down, I shouldn't have been born...

Promise me that I will definitely forget about this dishonest thing in the future, promise me that I will take good care of myself in the future, and find someone who loves you to live my life happily. I believe my father will agree.

I believe that my future sister or brother will love you for me, because my Ms. Yang is the best, best, and best person in the world.

I really want to say that I will be your son in my next life, but I am not qualified to say that, and I don't want to have another life, if I have to have a next life...

I won't come to the human world anymore, I'm too tired, it's not that the human world is not worth it, it's because I'm not worth it from the beginning until now.

Mom, don't be sad after I leave, don't be sad, I'm just too tired to suffer, I'll be happy there, don't worry about me, my father and I don't want to see you sad, you're so beautiful and cry Ugly.

In the future, remember to wear more clothes when it’s cold, remember to see a doctor when you’re sick, eat well, don’t run back in the rain when it’s raining, and turn on the lights if you’re afraid of the dark…

Because I can no longer leave the light on and wait for you to come back.

So Ms. Yang, thank you in this life, cherish it.

———I love your little voice the most.

Xu Zhisheng was afraid that his words would hurt his mother until he died, and finally crossed out and rewritten a letter, but what he didn't expect was that this letter was still seen.

When Ms. Yang finished reading the letter, she couldn't control her voice of collapse. Tears blurred her vision, and her whole body trembled as the tears dripped on her hands and paper.

What did she do wrong in whispering...why did she whisper to her like this...

Why is it so cruel to whisper to her...why to treat him like this...

She didn't do anything wrong, why did God take away her son after taking her husband away...why did she do this to her...

How gentle her husband is, he always considers others first, has never done anything outrageous, why did he still let him leave this world covered in blood...

To the end of his life, he never thought about their mother and son, but about the student he owed.

It was not their mother and son who kept talking about it before they died.

Her whispering voice has inherited his father's merits all over his body. He has lost his father, so why can't the world treat him tenderly...

Originally, her husband's departure cost Ms. Yang half her life, but Xu Zhisheng's death left her with no hope of living...

look...

This world is so hopeless...

Ms. Yang looked at the paper on the ground with empty eyes, tears were still falling, she looked at the curtains and suddenly smiled.

The smile is very bitter, so bitter that it is full of helplessness, and the eyes are full of despair for this world.

She was talking to herself with a crying voice:

"Hush...don't be afraid, mom won't abandon you..."

"I'm going to find you now..."

After speaking, he stepped on the stool and walked up to the desk, and opened the dusty window.

The police outside yelled for a long time without seeing a response, and came in through the door. Seeing that Ms. Yang had already stood on the window, her heart sank.

"Ms. Yang! Don't!"

No matter how fast the policemen ran, they still couldn't catch Ms. Yang, and watched her jump down helplessly.

The sound of a heavy object hitting the ground hit the hearts of everyone present.

Blood was bleeding from Ms. Yang's mouth and nose. She was still conscious, but her head kept bleeding, and the blood mixed with bitter tears.

"The road is too dark... whisper down and don't be afraid... Mom is here to find you..."

Her whisper is afraid of the dark...

Afraid of the dark...

She stared at the clouds in the sky, listened to the discussions of people around her, gradually lost consciousness, and finally closed her eyes in satisfaction.

After several days of rescuing Ms. Yang, Gao Lv knew the existence of Xu Zhisheng's mother. He did not go back to school after running out that day but went to Xu Zhisheng's home. He was present when Xu Zhisheng's mother jumped off the building.

Xu Zhisheng would be so sad if he was still alive to see this scene.

It was also he who spent money to snatch people back from Hades, but after being rescued, the people went crazy for no reason.

After going crazy, he was sent to a mental sanatorium.