when brothers become gay

I thought everything would go back to the original track afterwards, but an unexpected phone call that night ruined my dream.From the very first day, completely unexpected things broke into my life one after another, making it impossible to resist.

Lei Yan closed the phone and said solemnly: "I have to go home quickly. Aunt Cheng said that my mother suddenly fainted and was hospitalized." Before I could react, he hurriedly grabbed his wallet and went out.

"Hey... wait, wait a minute!" I chased after him and grabbed his shoulder from behind, "What's the matter? Make it clear..."

Lei Yan's mood was very unstable, and his voice trembled slightly: "That person...that person had a sudden cerebral hemorrhage...my mother fainted almost as soon as she heard the news, the specific situation is not clear..."

That person... When I heard these three words, I had a strong premonition that Lei Yan needed me by his side this time——I don't know the person he mentioned any more. Someone who has come to indescribably hurt.

"You help me ask for leave..."

I hurriedly interrupted him: "No, I'll go back with you." Seeing that he wanted to stop me, I quickly added: "Aunt Lei is so kind to me, I can't just sit idly by if she has something to do."

Lei Yan glanced at me and didn't insist anymore.

"Let's go, don't dawdle."

I still remember the first time I knew about "that person", it was a winter afternoon in the second year of junior high school, a small black car that looked extremely expensive stopped at the gate of our school, blocking Lei Yan and my way.

What's this?Gangster movie?

But we two junior high school students, who have neither money nor lust, stop us from doing what?

I thought of the kind of gangster movie where a man in a black suit and black sunglasses would come out and look as gentle as a secretary and said, "Come with me, two, our boss wants to see you."

After following in the car, there will be a middle-aged man wearing flowered shirts, with gold rings on his fingers, surrounded by a few sexy beauties hugging left and right, and a bunch of men in black will appear with a wave of his hand. The kind where the gun is pointed at someone else.

I was a little nervous, I looked up at Lei Yan, Lei Yan patted my hand and whispered: "Don't worry, it's fine."

This sentence sounds like the boss of the gangster said to the younger brother.

In order to show that I am not his little follower, I squeezed his hand.

It turned out that things were not at all what I thought they would be.

The car door opened, and a middle-aged man wearing a high-quality high-quality coat came out. His hair was combed neatly, and his temples were slightly gray, but he didn't deliberately try to hide it. He seemed to be a shrewd and capable businessman with a sharp Eyes and a high Greek nose bridge.

Very similar...More

He walked straight in front of Lei Yan, his tone was gentle but with undeniable majesty, "You are Lei Yan? Can I talk to you alone?" At the same time, he motioned me to leave with sharp eyes.

Lei Yan stopped me, and replied: "Speak quickly if you have something to say, we are in a hurry."

The visitor saw that Lei Yan had no intention of telling me to leave, so he cut straight to the point and said, "Perhaps you will be surprised, I am your father."

I was wondering, how did it suddenly transform from a gangster movie to a family, affection and ethics drama?And the main character is still Lei Yan...

...Didn't Lei Yan say that his father died when he was very young?

Lei Yan didn't speak, but that person continued: "This doesn't need any other proof, your and my faces are the most obvious evidence."

Lei Yan sneered and said: "I think you have misunderstood the person, my father died when I was very young."

A trace of imperceptible loneliness flashed in the man's eyes, "Ruoxin... Is that what she told you?"

"I don't know what you want me to do, and I don't want to care how you know my mother's name. After you finish talking, can we go?"

The first meeting between father and son broke up unhappy because of Lei Yan's complete denial.

Lei Yan remained silent that day, and only whispered when he got home: "I don't need a father, I only need you and my mother."

It was only later that I gradually learned the whole story, but all the plots like novels and TV dramas happened in Lei Yan's life - a woman fell in love with a married man, but the other party refused to divorce because of the so-called career, so she left him and gave birth quietly. The child lived a difficult life alone. More than ten years later, the man learned about the child and came looking for it.

At that time, Lei Yan said that he would never forgive him, but after all, this man's father - a father with the same blood, and a sudden illness, whose life and death are uncertain.

I can't be more clear, Lei Huo looks calm and tough, but in fact the biggest problem is his soft heart.

What's more, this time, even Aunt Lei, who always seemed weak but actually strong, fainted. If Lei Yan was left to face these things alone, I'm afraid she would not be able to bear it.

On the train, Lei Yan talked a lot like venting, and in the end I had no choice but to say: "You are tired and need to rest... I heard from Brother Long that you haven't slept well these days, have you? Even if you can't sleep, Also close your eyes and take a rest, Aunt Lei definitely doesn't want to see your tired face...it's still a few hours away."

Lei Yan lowered his eyelids, and after a long time he said: "Okay, call me when it's time..." After speaking, he leaned his head to one side, pressed against the glass and closed his eyes just like that.

"Hey, it's uncomfortable to sleep like that...it's more comfortable to lean on my shoulder this way."

Maybe it was really too tired, he leaned his head on my shoulder without hesitation, but I looked at his sleeping face and listened to his breathing again, my consciousness went blank for a moment.

I had no choice but to say silently in my heart over and over again: this is an extraordinary period, don't think too much.

Hurrying to the hospital, my mother was already waiting there, and when she saw us, she wiped the sweat from her head like letting go of a big stone in her heart. "Thank goodness you're finally back."

Lei Yan didn't care about politeness, and asked straight to the point: "Auntie, how is my mother?"

"There's nothing serious about it. She'll wake up tomorrow at the latest. She's just too weak. I'm afraid she'll have to rest in the hospital for a few days." Mom smiled apologetically: "Hey, look at me, how old is she?" When I grow up, I feel nervous, and when I am anxious, I don’t say anything clearly.”

"Thank you, you'd better go back and rest at this late hour, I'll just stay here and take care of you."

Seeing Lei Yan's firm attitude, my mother didn't force her to stay, "Well, if you need help, just call Auntie."

"Then I'll stay too..."

"It's nothing, you can only add to the chaos if you stay." Mom knocked on my head, "Come back with me."

"But……"

"No, but." My mother pulled me aside and whispered, "Silly boy, you have your own housework to deal with, what are you doing here? Getting up early tomorrow to help deliver breakfast is better than anything else."

That's what I said, but Lei Yan hasn't slept well for several days, but I can't tell the reason why he didn't sleep well, so I had to let my mother drag me out of the hospital.

Then... Lei Yan, you should rest well...

I looked at his isolated figure from a distance, and said silently in my heart.

Early the next morning, I went into battle and took the white fungus and lotus seed porridge cooked by my mother to "kill" to the hospital.When we arrived at the door of the ward, it was empty and there was no one there.

While in doubt, a nurse asked kindly: "Are you here to visit Lei Ruoxin in this ward?"

"Yes, where are they? I mean, and the boy who watched over him last night."

"She woke up in the early hours of this morning, and she is probably walking in the yard now?"

"Thank you." I bowed my hands to her and rushed downstairs.

After wandering around the yard, I finally saw Lei Yan and Auntie sitting on the bench under the big locust tree. I approached quietly from behind, but I heard their conversation.

"...I won't forgive him."

"You're still so stubborn, how can he be your father?" Aunt Lei's voice sounded weak.

"No one would think that a person who abandoned his mother is worthy of being called a father. Mom, I don't have a father. I follow your surname Lei, and I have been like this since I was a child."

"He's going to have surgery soon and needs the support of his family..."

"Family? Doesn't he have a family? For that family, didn't he even abandon you? It was only after he had no children that he thought of coming back to me. He is simply a selfish person."

"It's not like this……"

"Mom, listen to me, if I have to say that I am alive only because of him, then he needs blood, cornea and internal organs for surgery, I can return them all, but I will not go to see him."

"..."

It's really not the right time to come, this family is dealing with housework, how can I make an appearance?

I was in a dilemma carrying things.

Besides, it's so cold this morning, the north wind is chilly, it's making my nose itchy...itchy...

"Ah - sneeze."

Oops!This sneeze was even more inappropriate, seeing that they all turned their heads——

I pretended I didn’t hear anything, and greeted me with a smile all over my face, “Aunt Lei, are you feeling better? Haven’t you had breakfast yet? My mother said tremella and lotus seed porridge is the most nutritious, so she specially asked me to bring it here.” .”

"I'm so sorry to have to bother you all the time." Probably because I was blinded by my acting skills, Aunt Lei thanked me gently, but there was no embarrassment of being overheard.

"It's okay, I'm idle anyway." I sneaked a glance at Lei Yan, my face was stinky, so I said: "There is a lot of porridge, let Lei Yan eat it too."

"No, I'm not hungry at all."

Uh...why are you ignoring people again?

Lei Yan bent down to help Aunt Lei and said: "Mom, you can go back to the ward, too much cold wind is not good for your health."

After sending Aunt Lei back to the ward to rest, Lei Yan finally said to me: "Go for a walk."

"Oh……"

Since we parted yesterday, I have always felt that there are many things I want to say and many questions I want to ask, but facing him at this moment, I have forgotten all of them.

Lei Yan should be the same as me, I have a lot to say, but I don't know how to say it.

So the two just walked in silence, taking care of themselves.

I want to know, what was he thinking while guarding Aunt Lei's hospital bed last night?Will you feel uneasy?Would you hate that man?There are too many questions I want to ask but I can't. I find irrelevant topics: "...you look so haggard...you look like a gust of wind can blow you down..."

Lei Yan laughed hoarsely: "Are you sure you are talking about me? In comparison, it should be your physique who is easily blown away by the wind."

"What's so funny, Aunt Lei will feel distressed if you look so haggard?"

"Why do you say 'also'? Do you feel distressed when you see me?"

"Boring, you're not a girl."

"If I were a girl, can I throw myself into your arms and cry now?"

Hearing his joking tone, I was not ambiguous. I opened my arms like an eagle spreading its wings, "Come on, come on, brother, let me lend you my shoulders to cry to your heart's content. Hurry up and wait."

The expected effect is that you can laugh at me, and I can laugh at you, but he stared at me in a daze and said nothing, with an expression that he didn't know how to deal with it.

We walked out of the hospital a long time ago, and now there are people coming and going on the main road. I opened my arms and he was at a loss, making me look like a clown.I had no choice but to lower my hands and say, "Don't take it seriously, I didn't mean to be as fragile as a girl."

"...It's all right." Lei Yan looked up at the gray sky, and said nonchalantly, "There have been so many quarrels, this is the first time I've taken the initiative to lose."

I muttered: "If it weren't for seeing your family fall on their backs, I wouldn't let you go."

Lei Yan's brows that were finally stretched were dimmed for a moment.

Oh no, what am I doing to expose his sores?But once the words were out of my mouth, I couldn't take them back. I regretted so much that I jumped my feet.

"Are people turning on their backs?" Lei Yan repeated, and murmured, "Why are you so easy to poke my sore spots without mercy?"

"I..." Is it too late to apologize now?

"Are you just sympathizing with me from the beginning to the end?"

The sky is very cloudy, gray and hazy, as if raindrops will fall at any time.Even someone like me, whose mood is never influenced by the weather, feels depressed.

Yes, Lei Yan, who is depressed and not smiling, can only bring me this kind of feeling.

Are you just sympathizing with me from beginning to end?

In an instant, I saw indescribably complex emotions in his eyes, anger, blame, and frustration mixed together, and I couldn't even argue under his cold gaze.

Wrong, is it just my inadvertent words?

Under his gaze, I stammered a little: "You...how did you get involved with sympathy..."

"Then what are you doing? You opened your arms to me without worrying about my mood at all. Just when I had a little fantasy and expectation, you told me that it was just when you saw me "turning on my back". Deliberately give in, do you really have the heart?"

I came here specially for him, and he just wanted to tell me this?

I hope I can share the things you encounter, don't just blindly vent your anger on me, okay?

The more I thought about it, the more wronged I became, I couldn't control myself and raised my voice: "If I say something wrong, I'll just apologize, why should you be angry because I said something wrong."

"A word?" Lei Yan snorted softly, "Up to now you still think that what hurt me was just a word..."

"What on earth did you say! You never said what you expected me to do, how would I know if you didn't tell me!"

"You just prefer to maintain this superficial relationship. In fact, you don't know what I'm thinking. Like my sexual orientation, if I don't tell you, you probably won't notice it for the rest of your life? The brotherhood you keep talking about In fact, that's all, you never really cared about my thoughts."

"That's not it, I'm..."

"Otherwise, what else can I do? It's just that I'm by my side with a harmless face all day long, acting as willful as a child."

It was obvious that he was blaming me for no reason, but looking at his painful expression as if he was about to cry at any time, every word and every word was like hitting me hard with a diamond drill, and I was completely powerless to refute.

I can only look at him like a puppet - no no no no, I really care about you, not sympathy, no!

Lei Yan couldn't stand it and turned around to avoid my sight: "Don't look at me like this...you should go back."

"Wait." Realizing that he wanted to leave, I grabbed his hand from behind reflexively.

Lei Yan didn't look back, nor did he brush my hand away.I only heard him say in a very low voice: "...you go back, I really don't want to see you at this time."

He doesn't want to see me?

This question seems to have been echoing in my mind for a century, and I didn't have the energy to care about how unnatural it was for two men to hold hands like this on the street.

The sky was very cloudy, gray and hazy, but the rain did not drip after all.

There was a stalemate like this for a long time, and the one who finally let go was myself.

I don't get it, I really don't get it, why is he so depressed?

Lei Yan, he... what is he looking forward to?

I only saw that the hands that were holding each other were loosened, Lei Yan didn't even look at me, and was about to turn into the alley at the corner of the building like a stranger.

"Don't go."

There are too many questions to think about carefully, the mind is in chaos, and it is too late to react, and the feet have already moved first.

I chased into Cangli, grabbed him in front of him, and blocked his way.

"...I told you to go back, why did you catch up again?"

"If you have something to say, just say it clearly, don't just leave, you can vent your anger or whatever you want, just say what's in your heart! If you don't get angry, you can beat me!" I looked up and wanted to be straight Look into his heart and dig out all his thoughts.

Lei Yan just supported his chin and smiled wryly: "Why do you think I want to beat you up to relieve my anger? Now I am very anxious, I don't even know what I will do, you know?"

"It's up to you to do whatever you want, just please don't carry everything alone, and don't say that you don't want to see me like this. What do you think of me with this attitude? Blessings are shared, and difficulties are different." It’s just a friend of yours?” Thinking of another possibility, I felt my heart tighten and my tone became heavy, “Or, you hate me so much that you don’t even want to talk anymore?”

"No...I don't hate you...I just..."

For a moment, I thought I saw that Lei Yan who was holding my hands and bowed his face again, but it was only for a moment, now his expression is just cold, so that people can't see the emotion.

"What is it? Tell me everything you're thinking... I don't want to guess any more."

"Guess? What did you guess?"

"I guess...you're not really angry, are you?" I carefully looked at his face and said, "I was fine yesterday, why didn't I see you all night and suddenly got angry with me?"

The corner of his mouth curved into a mocking arc, Lei Yan said in a deep voice, "Do you want to know the answer?"

Lei Yan put his hands on my shoulders, leaned his head close to my ear like a child whispering, but only said a completely irrelevant sentence——

"You just said that I can say and do whatever I want, isn't it just talking again?"

"of course not!"

Knowing that this kid is using the aggressive method, I also recognized it, and I simply drilled into his tricks. I really don’t want to see his painful expression that is suppressed because there are too many things hidden in his heart, and I don’t even want to see him wearing it on purpose. cold mask.

He wants to find someone to vent his dissatisfaction, so I will let him vent it, and if he wants to beat and scold, he will obey.

"Never..."

"You were disheveled that night, and your stomach was full of hickey marks. Do you know what I was thinking at that time?"

While speaking, he grabbed the high collar of my sweater with one hand, exposing the traces that were hidden underneath to the air, and staring at it seemed to have scorching heat.

"Speak well, you... what are you doing?"

"I've been thinking about how that person's fingers touch you, how the lips feel when they suck your skin, and I've been thinking about how I can make you feel more... When I think of this , the whole body's blood is boiling."

While speaking, he poked his fingers into his collar, gently kneading the skin on his neck slowly, the feeling was like an electric shock, the crisp and numb current spread all over the body, making my already messy thoughts even more severe. Constant reasoning and chaos.

What's even more frightening is that I don't feel uncomfortable or disgusted at all by such a touch, and it's even so comfortable that I shudder.

I shook my head in a daze, trying to shake off your restraint: "Don't...don't be like this..."

"But you don't know anything. You are clearly beside me, but you are as far away as tens of thousands of solar systems."

"!" There is no better feeling than this.

"I can't hold on any longer." Lei Yan had already removed the mocking mask he put on in the room before, and he said sadly: "Let me kiss you, even if... it's just sympathy..."

Standing deadlocked in the narrow alley, those words echoed in my ears like an echo.

let me kiss you.

This is the second time he has made this request to me, but it is completely different from the last three points of provocation, three points of ridicule, three points of threat plus one point of provocation. Love hero.

But...why is it me?

The eyes that stared at me were still painfully moist, showing the expression of being deeply hurt, not to mention that his fingers were still showing a burning heat on my stomach.

How can I answer without hurting him?Or let him kiss you?This, he should just need comfort, nothing else, right?He said that even if it's just sympathy, I'm not a girl anyway, and the first kiss is no big deal... It's more important to cheer him up now, right?

"I...then...I..." Oops, how could he stutter endlessly at critical moments.And how can I say "it's okay to kiss me", I've never said such provocative words in most of my life!

"Don't talk." Lei Yan slid his hands to my waist, making me stick closer to him, put his face close to my ears and exhaled, "I don't want to hear your rejection."

Before he finished speaking, he stretched out his tongue and tentatively licked behind my ear. The soft, slippery and wet lick made my whole body tremble, and I was almost paralyzed in his arms.

please do not!This is not a kiss, but a lick, okay? How about a mouth-to-mouth kiss!

Just when I was getting dizzy, the sharp and piercing sound of "thrilling", "thrilling" came from a corner not far away, getting closer...

As if being forcibly peeled off by an external force, Lei Yan released me, and I jumped three feet away with the amazing jumping power in history, and the two of them looked in the direction of the sound—how could it be like the one on TV? A little lover who is afraid of being discovered by cheating?

An old lady came out of the corner slowly with a tattered burlap bag, seeing that she didn't even glance at us when she walked by, she probably... didn't see the ambiguous scene we just had. ?

When she passed by, my hanging heart finally returned to its original position, and I breathed a sigh of relief and boldness.

Lei Yan looked at me, and suddenly chuckled again: "Sure enough, this time it scared you again, you are so easy to take it seriously. Do you think homosexuality is scary?"

I didn't say a word, just looked at him and felt very uncomfortable.Yes, he was smiling, but the forced smile was uglier than crying, which meant that his true nature, which had been so hard to reveal, had shrunk back into the mask, forced a smile, and swallowed tears to pretend to be happy.

"It's bad, isn't it? Things at home are annoying, so I'll play with you to have some fun, and you don't mind."

"Don't pretend you're happy."

"Pretend? I'm very happy to tease you like this just now..." His voice did seem to be very excited, but——

"If you're laughing? Why aren't you looking at me?"

"!"

Get angry when you want to get angry, cry when you want to cry, why pretend to be okay and hold back your internal injuries?You obviously don't want to laugh...

"What nonsense are you talking about, did you start to have a fever?"

Pretend, you still pretend to me!When are you going to pretend to be the end!

"Just keep playing stupid, I just want to remind you what I promised just now, you can do whatever you want."

This time, I stepped forward and grabbed his skirt and stared at him—unfortunately, I am a little shorter than him, and my posture is not very handsome, and I am awkward.

It seems that this sentence played a certain role, Lei Yan's forced smile disappeared, he looked at me uncertainly and asked: "Do you know what you are talking about?"

"Your attitude confused me a bit, but I remember what I said. What do you want to do?"

Lei Yan directly used actions instead of answers.

He put his arms around his back and pulled me into his arms again. Although his movements were firm, I still felt his hands trembling slightly, as well as his heartbeat at the same frequency that was astonishingly fast.

Strange, why did I realize now that Lei Yan's nervousness is no less than mine?

The hot lips came up and stuck, and the tip of my tongue came up to tempt me, making me open my mouth involuntarily, and kept tangling in my mouth.

This is not a kiss, such a gentle movement, it is completely eager to squeeze every trace of air in his mouth to plunder.

So it was out of control.

Facts have proved that my impulsiveness is really not good. At this moment, my cheeks are so red that I can serve them as food and drink.

How could I do such a bold thing here!It's still with Lei Yan... Although no one is leaving the Cang that is connected to the side door of the hospital, what if one or two people come and watch such an ambiguous scene?

I was dizzy, and I didn't have time or care to think about it...