give you warm light

Life was good, but Mo Tong never dared to be too comfortable in front of Ma Xiaoyu.People are still wearing wrist guards to cover their wounds. How can a husband and wife sing together in harmony?And it is understood that Ma Xiaoyu is living in the school dormitory now, and it seems that he has not contacted Wang Biao.

However, Mo Tong felt that Ma Xiaoyu seemed to understand that he had committed suicide once. He was very chic every day, with a schoolbag on his shoulders and glasses, and his hands were in his pockets, going back and forth between the school and their residence, the school and the snack street, the school and the shopping mall. between.When you are free, you can squat in the library, go shopping or look for food, life is quite fulfilling.When Mo Tong went to Z University to borrow books, he found Ma Xiaoyu singing at the school's main traffic intersection with a bag on his back.The a cappella, and the accompaniment of each guitar, was singing Jacky Cheung's "A Thousand Reasons for Sadness".

Mo Tong stood there and listened for a while, and found that the singing was quite nice.Ma Xiaoyu originally said that when he slowed down, there was something similar to gentleness in his voice, but now he can lower his voice, and it sounds particularly moving.Mo Tong waited for him to finish singing, and put a [-] RMB note in it.Ma Xiaoyu nodded his thanks: "I wish you a harmonious sex life."

"..." Mo Tong waited for him to pack up and walked forward together. By the way, he wished, "I also wish you a harmonious sex life."

"Thank you." Ma Xiaoyu bowed his head and counted the money in his hands. Mo Tong said, "Singing a song makes a lot of money." In addition to the [-] yuan one, there are many ten and five yuan ones, at least his this week. The cost of living is out.

Ma Xiaoyu said: "Do you understand Yindan? That fifty is my own."

"No money to eat?"

"I just want to sing. Seeing people crowding around, I thought I could earn two more money to spend."

"If you're nervous, just say, I'll lend you first."

"It's really not enough buddies." Ma Xiaoyu Le Motong's neck, "Why don't you just give it to me. But if I don't need money, I'm working as an interpreter for others outside. It's a hundred or ten yuan for one session, enough to eat It's been days."

"That's it." Mo Tong got out of his bondage, poked him and asked, "How are you and Brother Biao lately?"

"I met you a few days ago."

"He didn't ask what happened to your wrist?"

"He didn't know, I was wearing a wristband. I said it was popular now, and he asked if he wanted to buy a cowhide one. I said I don't like animal skins, I like cloth ones."

Mo Tong felt a little annoyed when he heard that, but it was Ma Xiaoyu who smiled and said, "Later, he answered the phone during sex, and I pulled up my pants and left. I guess I won't be looking for someone who has no eyesight."

Mo Tong blinked and said, "The next time you are having sex with your boyfriend and he answers the phone, you can ride him hard and let him. He will never dare again in the future."

Ma Xiaoyu looked up at the sky and thought for a while, and felt that this method was feasible, so he said: "I will try it someday when a man falls into my hands, thank you for your suggestion."

Mo Tong couldn't help laughing, and Ma Xiaoyu also laughed.

When he went back, Mo Tong told Shao Gan about Ma Xiaoyu's singing. Although Ma Xiaoyu said that he was not short of money, Mo Tong knew in his heart that he was not rich.He doesn't want money from his family. Although graduate students are paid by the public and have subsidies, they are purely on their own, and they need money everywhere for food, clothing, and travel.Mo Tong discussed giving him some money in a few days for him to use first, and it would be better if he was not so stretched.

Mo Tong asked Shao Gan, "What does Brother Biao mean?"

Shao Gan said: "I don't think Brother Biao is such a bad person, maybe he is really busy."

Mo Tong couldn't agree more, and said, "Maybe it's because people aren't put in the most important position."

This is true.Recently, Wang Biao has been quite conflicted. Before that, he chased Ma Xiaoyu for a long time. He felt that this kid was clean, knowledgeable and tasteful. After he caught up with him, those violent tempers were no longer the advantages that attracted him.Even after the two were together, Wang Biao was most annoyed by his violent temper, always exploding before he could say a few words, which made people feel very irritable.The most important thing is that if he does something outside with this temper, he will definitely be beaten up. When Ma Xiaoyu first lived together, he didn't go back very late. He was always worried, so he couldn't help but come out to pick him up.Later, I was busy, and Ma Xiaoyu didn't know why he was awkward and didn't take the initiative to come to him, so he gradually became a little cold.

Things like feelings have always been covered, and the most fearful thing is to let them dry out.Wang Biao was busy, he was busy on business trips, he was busy dealing with officials, he was busy with business, and Ma Xiaoyu was ignorant, so the two of them finally exposed their shortcomings after they recovered.

When Wang Biao found Ma Xiaoyu that day, he felt that his face was not good, either his face was smelly, or his face was too pale.Originally, Wang Biao said that he would pick up the child and go out to make up for it, but after chatting a few words in the car, Wang Biao got a little angry.Ma Xiaoyu sat softly in the co-pilot, the sun poured down, and the thin glazed white porcelain on his face was attractive.Wang Biao went directly to the villa and was lying on the bed only to realize that he would not let him touch his left wrist. Later, he asked him that he liked to wear a wrist guard.

In the middle of the work, there will be calls. Wang Biao really doesn't want to answer, but he really doesn't want to stop the calls.When Wang Biao bent down to grab his cell phone, Ma Xiaoyu started to put on his pants, and when he finished answering the call, he had already left.That is, at night, someone came over and said that Ma Xiaoyu committed suicide a while ago, but he did not die.

Of course he knew he didn't die, but he didn't know why he committed suicide.

When Wang Biao came out and stood outside the school wall, he felt surrounded by a huge sense of powerlessness. He and Ma Xiaoyu didn't seem to have had a good talk, so that Ma Xiaoyu didn't understand his bottom line, and he didn't understand Ma Xiaoyu's thoughts.Wang Biao really wanted to ask him why he had to commit suicide, but he felt really uncomfortable.Such a big thing happened, he didn't even know it.Standing outside the campus, Wang Biao asked himself, if Ma Xiaoyu died this time, would he be sad?

The answer is yes, but it seems so helpless.

Wang Biao stood outside the school for a long time, but did not go in.He has never flattered anyone, and he has never been so courteous when he pursued Ma Xiaoyu in his life.Wang Biao is not a person who can get rid of his status. It is already very rare to be able to do this step consciously.

Wang Biao drove away with a cigarette in his mouth. When he passed a flower shop, he suddenly remembered that Ma Xiaoyu once sat in the car and looked at a girl holding a big bouquet of flowers. To be precise, he looked at the flowers in the girl's arms.He remembered that Ma Xiaoyu sighed at the time and said that he had never received such a large bouquet of flowers in his life. If anyone sincerely sent him a bouquet, he would definitely turn into an Arabian magic lamp to fulfill all his wishes.

Wang Biao drove through the window and smoked four or five cigarettes on the opposite side of the road. Finally, he got out of the car and walked over. He chose a large bouquet of red roses and paired them with peonies.It was already dead of night when I drove back again, but luckily the school gate was not locked yet.

Wang Biao entered the school with flowers in his arms under the surprised gaze of the guard, only to realize that he didn't know where Ma Xiaoyu's current dormitory was.On the way, I caught two boys who came home late, and after inquiring, I found out that all the graduate students lived in the old building on the east side.Wang Biao looked in the direction the student pointed, and found that the postgraduate building was a maverick, and the door was not locked until now, and almost half of the lights in the whole building were still on.Wang Biao was at the door with a thick old face and wanted to check Ma Xiaoyu's house at the gatekeeper's place. The uncle asked, "Do you have anything to do with him?"

"I'm his family, his birthday is today."

"The baby is delicate, and she ran over in the middle of the night for her birthday."

Wang Biao responded vaguely, checked his room, thanked the old man and went up to the third floor.It's a very old building. It is estimated that the good houses are reserved for eight undergraduates, so this old building is reserved for double rooms for graduate students.

By the time we got to 306, the lights inside had been turned off.Wang Biao knocked on the door with the inquisitive eyes of the man in glasses who was going to wash his face in the water room. After knocking for a long time, he heard Ma Xiaoyu's vague voice saying, "Didn't you say you live outside today? Damn! I'm already asleep!"

When Ma Xiaoyu opened the door, Wang Biao suddenly felt that his behavior was a bit stupid. Ma Xiaoyu was also quite surprised. He stared at the people outside the door for a while, and then opened the door to let him in.There was no light in the room, it was quite dark.Ma Xiaoyu didn't seem to have any intention of turning on the light, so he yawned and went back to his bed.

Wang Biao asked, "Does your wrist still hurt?"

"Good morning. Don't think about it too much. I actually wanted to test the speed of the knife that day, but I used a lot of force. I accidentally ended up like this. If I really want to commit suicide, I won't be so stupid as to cut a school girl's wrist."

Wang Biao nodded angrily, "Can you speak up?"

Ma Xiaoyu fell silent.Wang Biao went over and put the flowers in his arms. He was a little angry with himself, but he still said: "I thought about it, and I think it's better to come back and make it clear. I was the one who chased you back then, and I just wanted to live. I'm busy. , I always stay away from home, I think you can understand. But now it seems that it's not the case. I, Wang Biao, have never been so... so pleased with anyone in my life. If you think there is someone better than me, just say , don't engage in such indifferent things. Can I beat you or stab you?"

Wang Biao waited for a long time and Ma Xiaoyu didn't say a word. Just as he was about to turn around and leave, Ma Xiaoyu patted the bed beside him and said, "Sit down."

Sitting next to him, Wang Biao felt that Ma Xiaoyu's bed was a bit hard.Ma Xiaoyu said: "At the beginning when you said you liked me, I was so happy. I feel so lucky that I can still meet someone who treats me sincerely. I have my own bottom line, that is, that partner must be loyal. You and the school I don't care about men, but you can't lie to me. I have no money or power. The only thing I have is this decent face. No wonder you find it boring and always want to find some seasoning. I I don't blame you, I just think I'm cheap. But even if I'm cheap, I have a reason, I don't know how to keep being cheap."

Wang Biao's hands on his knees trembled, and he frowned for a long time without making a sound.Ma Xiaoyu didn't wait for an explanation, he exhaled heavily in his chest and said, "Thank you for the flowers, it's so late, so I don't want to send them off."

Wang Biao wanted to go over and hug him, but suddenly he lost the courage.He knew that once he made a move, the opponent would definitely jump up, tear and bite like a dog whose tail was trampled on.Wang Biao stood up, and Ma Xiaoyu went to the door to open it for him, but Wang Biao's feet seemed to be filled with lead, and he couldn't step out no matter what.

He still couldn't help explaining: "It was my fault that time. You always made troubles, and I was so depressed. When I was waiting for you at the school gate, I met a student."

"Better than me."

"No."

"Heh." Ma Xiaoyu started to cry again, and said quietly, "Thank you."

"Xiaoyu." Wang Biao still couldn't hold back and closed the door again to hug him.He waited for Ma Xiaoyu to jump up and yelled and cursed. To his surprise, the person in his arms was extremely quiet, which made people feel at a loss.If he jumps up to scold or jump up to hit, he can hug him and play hard after he hits, turning the page.But Ma Xiaoyu didn't move and didn't say a word. Instead, he didn't know how to expose this matter, or if it could still be exposed.

Ma Xiaoyu waited for him to hold enough and said: "Okay, don't be reluctant. You are so rich, and you are not bad-looking, and the people behind your ass waiting to sleep with you are all lined up in the Great Wall. Why bother."

Wang Biao didn't know what was wrong with him, but he suddenly wanted to cry. A 40-year-old man suddenly feels helpless in his life.It seems that it has been like this since he broke into the society, always making mistakes, making mistakes, making mistakes, but he has no chance to allow him to change.

Wang Biao wanted to kiss the person in his arms, but the severe pain on his face brought him back to reality.The loud slap was still echoing in the eardrums, and Wang Biao heard Ma Xiaoyu say: "I'm sorry I hit you, but you don't stay here... It makes me sick of myself even more."

Wang Biao didn't know how he got out of the school gate. When he woke up, the car was full of smoke, and the cigarette gas caused a small fire in the car.Wang Biao rolled down the window to ventilate, glanced at the quiet campus, and turned back to the villa where the two lived not long ago.Ma Xiaoyu always complained that there was no sense of home there, and Wang Biao felt the same way.

In dormitory 306, Ma Xiaoyu curled up on the hard bed with a bouquet of flowers, as if falling asleep.Just looking at the projected moonlight, you can see the wetness in the corners of his eyes deepening.