the moon in the attic

"Is it still possible?" Yan Yang shouted with a smile from a distance, and Han Yu was picking up the kite from the ground for the sixth time.

Yan Yang's vacation ended long ago. Coincidentally, the new project is in this city. He returned to the company after less than a week.

Autumn was successful in October, and the wind in the evening had already brought a chill. Yan Yang wanted to take Han Yu to the park to fly a kite, but after only half an hour, his patience ran out.

"It's too early to let go," Yan Yang approached Han Yu, "wait until you feel the pull."

"That's when I was loose." Han Yu said.

"It's not about completely loosening it." Yan Yang took the kite and shook it up and down in his hand, "If you let go before it flies, it will fall to the ground, loosen it little by little."

Han Yu frowned lightly, took Yan Yang's hand again, and complained, "This kite is too big."

This kite is newly bought today. The previous kite has been damaged in some places because it has been flying for too long and has been improperly stored.

Yan Yang pretended to be serious and put on a preaching attitude, "Student Han Yu, do you know what this is called?"

"What's it called?" Han Yu asked.

"If you don't work hard subjectively, look for the reason objectively." Yan Yang said, and put the spool into Han Yu's hand, "You pull the thread."

Han Yu took the spool and twirled it twice in his hand, muttering meaningfully, "Sometimes students are not too stupid."

Yan Yang asked dumbfoundedly, "What's the matter with you?"

Han Yu pretended not to know, "Huh?"

Yan Yang grabbed his shoulders, pulled him down, tilted his head and kissed his ear quickly, "Is it because I didn't teach you well?"

Han Yu bent slightly, and said blankly, "No."

He has been a leader for a long time, and he has mastered the kung fu of not showing emotions, which is many times better than the calmness and proficiency he had when he was strong in high school. Now that he put on this expression, Yan Yang only felt that his heart was in a state of chaos. It burned.

They are both adults, and the two of them have met honestly for countless times. Every time Han Yu showed this expression, Yan Yang would think of his forbearance and joy during sex.

The park has been built in the past few years, and the number of people has increased. Yan Yang feels itchy but can't do anything, so he simply collects the kite, "Don't fly it, let's go home."

Han Yu hurriedly followed him, and then smiled, "Baabaa, I won't make trouble anymore."

Yan Yang glanced at him and couldn't help laughing, "It's getting dark, buy a kite with lights next time."

Han Yu nodded: "Yes."

In this season, it’s always dark when it’s dark. It was still light when the two were laughing, but now they couldn’t see things clearly. They walked side by side on the gravel road, chatting with each other.

When walking past Baige Square, Yan Yang suddenly asked, "How many times have you...been to the park?"

Han Yu froze for a moment, then quickly realized, "Three times."

Yan Yang turned his head to look at him, "Which two more?"

Han Yu thought for a while, "In my junior year, the park bought a boat that year, and the fare was [-]% off from [-]pm to [-]pm."

Yan Yang lowered his head slightly, and asked softly, "How do you remember so clearly?"

Seeing that the people around were busy feeding the pigeons, Han Yu took Yan Yang's hand under the cover of the kite, and pretended to be relaxed, "The one who distributed the leaflets was a third middle school student."

Today happened to be the weekend, and there were a few students scattered among the tourists in the park, wearing the uniforms of various schools, except that there were no students from No. [-] Middle School.

Yan Yang didn't know how to describe his mood at the moment. Looking at Han Yu, he felt that he saw the person who took the leaflet and said "thank you".

At that time, Han Yu was no longer a teenager. He had just earned his first sum of money and bought the bicycle he had longed for for his long-lost boyfriend, but he couldn't give it away.

Yan Yang asked in a low voice: "Which time?"

Han Yu said, "I also came here once the year I bought the house."

Han Yu walked beside him, with a low voice, "The company was inseparable from people at that time. I came to sign the house purchase contract, and the original plan was only half a day."

Han Yu smiled when he said this: "Later, the sales manager accidentally mentioned that the aquarium in the park was opened, and he wanted to bring the children to see it, so I took his ride and came together."

When the two walked to the lake, Yan Yang stopped, looked at him quietly for a while, and then looked away at the cruise ship with beautiful lights in the distance.

The wind by the lake is very cool, with moisture, it is very moist on people's faces, like a lover's kiss.

Yan Yang remained silent, Han Yu watched him by the lake for a while, and asked him, "Do you want to take a boat today?"

Yan Yang reacted a few beats later, nodded, "I think so."

So the two went to the ticket office by the pier, bought a regular-priced ticket for a four-seat sightseeing boat, and boarded the boat on the wooden bridge soaked by the lake.

When the boat started moving, Yan Yang suddenly said, "A few days ago, my parents were discussing about Lin Yang."

Han Yu sat closer to him, "Huh?"

Yan Yang controlled the steering wheel and led him around the lake, and finally stopped the engine at an arch bridge, allowing the boat to float by itself.

Yan Yang's voice was a little low, "It seems that he wants to bury Lin Yang and my brother together."

After he finished saying this, neither of them said anything more. After a while, Han Yu said, "Uncle asked me once."

Yan Yang was startled: "When did it happen?"

But before Han Yu could answer, Yan Yang quickly came to his senses, feeling a little unhappy, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It didn't make things difficult for me," Han Yu said with a reassuring smile, "Isn't it normal to be talked to by parents in that situation?"

Yan Yang glanced at him, beckoning him to continue.

"At that time he told me about Lin Yang," Han Yu said, "more specific than what you said."

Yan Yang leaned back on the backrest, grabbed Han Yu's hand and squeezed it, and asked him, "Can you understand?"

Han Yu shook his head decisively: "I couldn't at that time."

Yan Yang raised his eyebrows and teased him, "Can it be done now?"

Unexpectedly, Han Yu nodded, "Yes."

Yan Yang looked at him, and Han Yu said, "They are actually the two people who have suffered the most but are the most powerless."

"First became the 'parents who lost their son', and then was forced to become the emotional bearer of 'someone died because of my son'", Han Yu said, "No one can bear such heavy emotions without changing their faces."

These are two adults, a pair of parents, unable to fight the disease, watching their eldest son die without help.

Lin Yang has the right to choose life and death and the courage to follow his lover. No one needs to be responsible, but no one can be free and easy. After all, before he was Yan Wei's lover, he was Lin Yang first.

Yan Yang said, "At that time, I really didn't understand. My brother is my brother, and I am me. Not all homosexuals are like this."

Han Yu nodded, and teased him like Yan Yang did just now, "Then do you understand now?"

Yan Yang smiled and sighed, "Well, I understand."

The place where they parked the boat was very quiet, and their voices were very clear. Han Yu said, "After all, no one can blame love."

This is a stubborn prejudice caused by death, absurd and illogical, but it is a protection mechanism for a pair of parents who have collapsed and are helpless.

They can't blame love, let alone attribute the responsibility to a pair of lovers who have passed away, so they become extreme in the lingering anxiety, worried that the past will repeat itself, and homosexuality is forced to act as an emotional release because of its weak and non-mainstream status point.

This word no longer represents the concept of polyamorous love, but is passively associated with death. It is an old scar, the guilt and heartache of a pair of parents who cannot turn a blind eye to the death of others.

Yan Yang and Han Yu at that time were the breaking point of their emotional meltdown and the last straw that broke their line of defense.

Yan Yang couldn't help thinking of Chen Jingru and Yan Haichuan's secretive attitude towards Yan Wei's death in those years, thinking of Chen Jingru's powerless "Before nothing happened, of course you were not wrong", and the hysterical "That's a human life".dawn.cherry

They think that opposing the constituent elements of past tragedies can curb the source of misfortune, deceiving themselves and others, and paralyzing themselves, but in fact they know that they are powerless. After all, no one can be calm when misfortune happens.

At that time, Yan Yang had just grown up, so naturally he couldn't accept such full emotions. Han Yu was entangled in a bunch of bad things, and he was unable to explore the deep meaning behind it. The two had been angry for many years, and finally understood the parents calmly today.

A boat passed by in the distance, and the waves swayed under their boat in circles. The hull of the boat swayed, and Yan Yang leaned on Han Yu's shoulder with his strength, "So, many things cannot be judged by right or wrong."

Han Yu put his arms around his waist and said seriously, "Yes."

Yan Yang: "Huh?"

This time they bought a kite in the shape of a bream, and the tail was blown so that it floated in front of their eyes. Han Yu put the kite on the back seat of the boat and said to him, "I love you is always right."

Yan Yang first leaned on Han Yu's shoulder and laughed at him, and later confessed seriously, "Actually, I also went back to the Spring Breeze later."

Han Yu nodded, "I know."

Yan Yang: "Huh?"

Han Yu complained in a very disrespectful manner, "Brother Li Dai told me."

Yan Yang laughed with him, and then calmed down again, the lake was reflected by moonlight and lights, and the reflection of the boat was blocked by the shadow of the arched bridge.

Yan Yang asked softly, "Brother Han Han, are you going home?"

Han Yu asked, "Don't you want to take the boat?"

"Well," Yan Yang said, "I want to go to the attic with you to kiss, have sex, sleep until dawn, and watch the sun tomorrow morning."

"You can also look at the moon before kissing." Han Yu said.

"Huh?" Yan Yang raised his head and looked at the moon hanging high, "You can watch it now."

So Han Yu turned his head and stared at Yan Yang intently.

Yan Yang noticed, and pushed him away with a smile, "Let you look at the moon, what do you see me doing?"

Han Yu leaned over, kissed Yan Yang's eyes lightly, and said vaguely, "I'm watching."

The past is muddy, long nights of hard work, and the future is out of reach. Han Yu's rusty life has become less bleak because of Yan Yang's love without hesitation.

Yan Yang is the white dove docked, the cruise ship docked, and the moon that Han Yu waited for after dusk and sunset.

They kiss, talk, pass the time, vulgar and superficial.

They are not on the "right track", love passionately for themselves, let others judge right or wrong, but are always happy, because no one can blame love.

After birth, old age, sickness and death, they are each other's every moment.

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twelve three:

there will be more