dangerous road

[You say you say. 】

【What do you want me to say? You say what you say. 】

[Isn't someone else asking this, you old men, you should say it first. 】

【...Damn it like you're not a man!Why should I say it first! 】

[You chased me first, why do you ask? !Others are eagerly waiting to hear it! Hurry up!If you wait any longer, I will turn around and set your panties on fire! 】

[... Burn it, burn it, I will wear yours... don't stare at me, don't stare at me, it's so unsightly to stare at me like a toad... I'm sorry, I was wrong, you put it on My socks were also set on fire, right? I have no objection—hmm, cough, um... what did you just ask? 】

[Someone asked you how you fell in love with me!What kind of memory do you have! 】

[Fuck|I'll tell you that a dog's memory is good!You see, a dog only recognizes one owner for a lifetime, right?How loyal!How noble!How like me!You don't know that when I saw you for the first time, my outlook on the world, outlook on life, and values ​​were all subverted... They were subverted, do you understand? !It's just ah, then a clatter, then a slap, and finally a bang...and it's overturned. 】

【……speak English. 】

[It's just ah, and then clatter, clatter, clatter...do not understand? 】

[——Know a chicken | Baqiu! !I have been with you for so long and I can't understand it, let alone the audience below!Straighten your tongue with Lao Tzu and you will die if you talk about it? !Lao Tzu warns you that if you go down like this, we will sleep in separate rooms, and I won't serve you anymore. 】

[Listeners and friends, I was wrong, I sincerely apologize to everyone, and I will answer the question properly... You just asked me why I fell in love with him, right?Ah, to be honest, I had a very bad impression of him at first.You can't imagine how noisy, shameless and arrogant this person is—]

【……hehe. 】

【——How introverted, how upright, how selfless——! ! !Huh...huh...oh fuck, I almost exposed my heart...]

【I see.Do you know that you are sleeping on the toilet with Lao Tzu tonight? 】

【... At least give me a place to lie down TAT...】

【The fact that I sit for you means that I am already very kind.If it weren't for Lao Tzu Bodhisattva's heart to accept you, who the hell would take care of your evil... Continue to talk, why are you staring at me. 】

【……oh.Then I will continue to talk... In short, my first impression of him is really not good, even if I am kicked to sleep in the washing machine, I have to tell the truth-oh mother, don't think too much, I am suppressing it first Only in this way can Hou Yang reflect how blind my dog ​​eyes were at that time...]

[You are enough.Who else is the mother of your child! ! 】

[It's over, he's crazy... Hey, I said who arranged this question and answer today, isn't this sowing discord? !Forget it, since it’s already hairy, I’m going to break the jar... Let’s get back to the topic.When I met him for the first time, he was matched by our department manager—isn't that the right word?Anyway, just do projects with him.Wow you have no idea how fast he can change his face!One second he was smiling and shaking hands with Lao Tzu, and the next second when the manager left, his face collapsed and he said that he didn’t like to have someone standing in his way when he was doing things, making Lao Tzu look like a useless person. how to think.And writing that kind of forced project case, fuck it, I get angry just thinking about it.I kept my fucking eyes open until two o’clock in the middle of the night, but the next day he only read it for ten seconds before calling back and asking me to rewrite—]

【—Have you said enough? 】

【—Not yet, you let me finish——Where did I just say?Look at what I said, why did you interrupt me... Oh yes, call back and let me rewrite... Rewrite and then... Son, don't look at me like this, I'm nervous...]

[Go on, you don't care what I think of you, just go on.I promise that this time there will be no domestic violence, and I will continue. 】

【——Damn it!You are not domestic violence, but if you are not domestic violence, you will engage in a cold war!I fucking annoy you the cold war!You know, he didn't say a word to me for a whole week last time because of a big shit!One week, listeners!Seven days, listeners and friends! 160 eight hours, listeners!Lao Tzu is so stupid that his life feels like years, fuck it! 】

[Is it a big deal? !That's a big deal? ! !You fucking came out to my family without telling me, is that a big deal? !He didn't come back at [-] or [-] o'clock in the fucking night, but he just shook his head and didn't answer any questions he asked with a bruised nose and a swollen face!You almost scared me to death you know that? !You said that you were overwhelmed by blood all by yourself, what kind of hero are you? I thought you were fattened!I have lived for more than [-] years since I was a child, and I have never been so afraid of the aftermath!How dare you bring it up now!How dare you throw your temper at me!Dump your mother | Forced! 】

[…………………… My daughter-in-law, your eyes are so red, I’m sorry, I was wrong, don’t be like this...]

【--roll! !Who the hell is your wife! 】

[Okay, I was wrong, I was wrong, I am your wife, okay.Come, come, come, give me a kiss...]

[Kiss your mother dear!Get that big face of yours away from me!Fuck don't come over, don't come--Yeah!So fucking disgusting!It's all saliva! ! 】

[Yohe~~~ You still despise me~~~ Well, I was wrong...but no matter how wrong I am!You can't stop talking to me either!You said you were angry and I was not the same angry!When my heart was being traumatized, not only did you not give me the warmth of that home, but you also turned your eyebrows coldly at me!Don't even talk to me!I’ve said all the good things with a shy face, you don’t even look at me——]

【——You fucking deserve it! 】

[...TAT, well, I deserve it, I deserve it...Really, I didn't discuss it with you because I wanted to look like a man...I didn't think that if I solved this matter by myself without saying a word, it would be completely useless It would be nice of you to worry about that.The daughter-in-law is just for pampering, right?So you see...]

[Pet your mother, oh, pet, pet, you have never spoiled me.You said when did you wash your underwear with me, when did you cook for me, when did you blow-dry your hair with me, Nima is always serving you like a cow and a horse, you have the nerve to say you pet me.you have face. 】

[Okay, I'm ashamed, I'm ashamed... Damn I will cook for you tomorrow!absolute! 】

[...Really? 】

[Ouch, your eyes lit up immediately... Puhaha, so cute.What do you want to eat, you say. 】

【...What will you do? 】

【...Actually, hehehe...hehehe...】

【Damn it, I don't dislike you, don't be stupid like a mentally retarded x laughing——say it! ! 】

【I... can only cook fried rice with eggs...】

【…………………】

[Let me tell you that making egg fried rice is not easy, okay? !The rice must be so fried that it falls on the table and bounces up!Do not underestimate it! 】

【...Can you make it like that? 】

[...can't...=mouth=]

【Fuck!Then you say a dick! Ba! ! 】

[I can work hard in this direction!Don't underestimate your man! 】

【roll!You housekeeping idiot I never counted on you!Damn, people who don't know how to use a microwave oven are not qualified to enter Lao Tzu's kitchen! 】

【...Don't be like this...Hey, I said, why are you so angry every day? It's like eating explosives all day long?People with a bad temper can't live long. Really, don't blow it up. 】

【Why do I live so long?Especially living with you, my life will definitely be shortened-look at my forehead lines!Nima is all because of you! 】

[Why don't you have any pursuit!How good it is for the two of us to live to be a hundred years old!At that time, the newspapers will be able to publish the story of the first centenarian homosexual couple in China——huh, it’s so strange to say that... oh, don’t care about this mess... Anyway, you want to be tied to me!Otherwise, what will I do when I get old? ! 】

【Ghost cares what you do when you get old.I close my eyes at the age of 60. If you want to live to be a hundred years old and live by yourself as an old monster, I will not care about you. 】

[Then what do I do with the remaining 40 years? !If you are not here, my mother will be left to die? 】

【... Tsk, it's really disgusting... Don't coax me, let me tell you, even if you make me happy, it won't change your fate of sleeping on the toilet tonight. 】

[I'm not kidding you, what I said is true. 】

[... What a fart. 】

[Fuck|I really didn't coax you!Coax you to be struck by lightning! 】

[…………Really. 】

【—Trick you and me to kneel on the keyboard. 】

【Then...then you can figure out what to do tonight...well. 】

[Does this mean that I don't need to sit in the toilet? 】

【...Didn't my mother say that I can figure it out? ! ! 】

【Fucking child, why are you blushing? It's embarrassing to be shy when you're an old couple...】

【--roll! ! ! 】

[Oh, don't be like this~~~ Come and hug me... oh, don't push me, don't push me—you will die if you hug me? ! 】

[No - pay attention to the occasion, you idiot! ! ! 】

[Oh, oh, I forgot that there are still people listening with their necks up... It's all gone, let's go, let's go back to our respective houses and take a nap. 】

【My day, I really can't stand you[email protected]%#￥*&%...】

[Okay, since they don't want to leave, let's go first, go home quickly, and then... Hehehehehehehehehe. 】

【——Hey hey hey hey your sister!Get out with me! ! 】

..................................................................................................................

【The End】

Voiceover: What kind of bird is this about? ! !I'm going crazy! ! !

The author has something to say:

How did this product come about? == It’s because I think the first two articles are rather depressing, but the last few articles I conceived are also relatively depressing.

Slag Wen hurts my eyes, I sincerely apologize here, please whip me OTL as much as you want...

Tears go away.