dangerous road

First explain the title: using the word "career" is obviously self-deprecating, I hope you will forgive me.

The second comment on this anthology and me who wrote this anthology: Hypocritical essays written by hypocrisy, ps "Surrealism" does not count, it is not an essay at all, it is at most a bunch of silly jokes.

Then talk about the attributes of this article: inspirational summary, postscript in disguise, intended to make everyone feel confident after reading it.

Let's start talking about career.

....................................

I seldom talk about the content of my first article with others, although it is amazing to think about it now.That was the first novel I can recall.Maybe I wrote it before, maybe I didn't, but I forgot everything before it.

At that time, I was in the sixth grade. I learned a text, but I had long forgotten the specific content. I only remember that a kind-hearted fisherman couple adopted a neighbor’s orphan on a windy night.The teacher finished the text, closed the book, and said, okay, today's homework is to write a practice pen, and everyone will continue to write this text.

So the children all went to the farming and nurturing article: the little baby has grown up, in order to repay the adoptive parents, he studies hard and does good deeds every day, blablabla.My best playmate at that time, the little girl who climbed trees with me every day after school wrote a fantasy article, saying that the little baby grew up to be a boy, and one day he sneaked out to sea and drifted to a deserted island. He was taken home by his adoptive parents and lived a harmonious and happy life again.I've read that article, and it's very well written, unconstrained and full of inspiration.

As for me, I spent a lot of effort to conceive a plot, and I felt that I was shaking the world and crying ghosts and gods, and no one in the class could surpass it.If you can grasp it, it is also possible to get A++ this time.Even if it is only based on the length, I won. I am the only one who is divided into two parts, and must be praised.

The plot is very simple to sum up: the grown-up boy fell in love with his adoptive mother, so he stabbed the adoptive father to death, and wanted to marry the adoptive mother, but the adoptive mother was distraught and hanged herself to death.To be simpler, just four words, kill your father and marry your mother.

After the article was handed in, I complacently waited for the teacher to hold a class meeting to praise me, and read this talented exercise in public.Later, I was indeed called by the teacher, and Pidiandian ran to the office, thinking that it would be good to praise it in private.

As a result, this woman who has always been very kind rarely raised her face and asked me: ×××, do you watch too many messy TV series?

I was stunned by the question, and the answer was no, I don't watch TV dramas.

I thought to myself that every day after school I would be as busy as hell.I want to eat first, then climb trees, and then dig out ant nests; when I go home, I first watch Inuyasha, then Holy Maiden, then Golden Eagle cartoons, and finally switch to the on-demand station, thinking about whether to call it for an hour , set a fruit basket for 15 minutes.My life is so busy and full of meaning, where do I have the time and energy to pay attention to TV dramas.

So I was wronged.

So the teacher asked again: Then how did you write such a mess?

I was stunned again and was overwhelmed by this problem.

After being persuaded with an obvious sense of preaching, I took the notebook back and opened it up: A-.

I broke down.I've never gotten an A by writing blindly, and the worst thing is an A.

Of course, I didn't mean to blame our Chinese teacher.She is a good teacher, and let me develop the habit of reading, which has benefited me to this day.Besides, think about it in another way. Facing a 12-year-old girl who has not been born with three views, I would criticize it more harshly if I wrote about the theme of killing my father and marrying my mother out of cleverness.

It's just that I didn't understand it then.I would never have imagined that a few years later, when I knew about ancient Greek tragedies and heard about "Oedipus the King", I would be able to think of this childish work so quickly, and I could not laugh or cry to my childhood self.I must have seen a few words about killing my father and marrying my mother somewhere long ago, kept them firmly in my mind, and then wrote them out like a show, and tasted a miserable defeat as a winner.

But at the same time I was proud of who I was as a kid.Dare to start with such an insurmountable motif, and the characters are ugly as hell, so ambitious and courageous.

So by accident, Oedipus led me on the road of writing.In terms of conception, this is already considered a high point, and it also just indicates that I will immediately fall down.

So in junior high school, my spring heart began to sprout quietly, and I fell into Marysu's arms without looking back.

....................................

Well, the following really touches the dark history deep in my heart that I have never told anyone.In fact, I don't want to blew myself up, but in line with the principle of "tell me what's unhappy to make everyone happy", I decided to stand up without hesitation, sow the seeds of love and hope, so that everyone can have a lifelong dissatisfaction with my writing. strong confidence.

It's like this: When I was in junior high school, I had two little friends. One of them was called Bibing and the other was called Guoguo.Don't ask me why I have such a stupid nickname with unclear meaning and like to repeat words, I will tell you if my nickname is Niu Niu.

In short, the three of us, who are in the same mood of spring, hang out together all day long, talking wildly and talking about everything.Not long after, Guoguo had a specific object to get pregnant; and then, Bingbing shyly admitted that she also had.I don't have one, but it still can't stop the beautiful fantasy in my mind.

At that time, the magazine that girls in our class liked to read most was Xinlei.There were a few popular books at that time, probably all written by Koreans and others. I remember "That Boy Is So Handsome", "The Temptation of the Wolf", "The Sparrow Wants a Revolution", "Long Riyi, You Are Dead" and so on. wait wait wait.They are very long, and some are divided into one, two, and three parts, which are moved from one girl's drawer in our class to another girl's drawer.Of course I also read, one book a day, holding a small flashlight and hiding under the quilt at night, reading it all night, dizzy and sore eyes.

After reading about five or six books, I stopped reading and announced to my other two friends that I decided to write my own essay, and I want to include you in it. You can see what you want to call it.

Bingbing said that my last character would be called Bing, and Guoguo said that I like blue, so my surname would be Lan.I said okay, wrap it on me.

I said again, what do you guys want to be called, think about it quickly.

At that time, Guoguo was in love with a boy in the next class who was between strong and slightly fat. His name was Beibei, and Guoguo thought it was super cute.And because her male god is Jay Chou, she made a request to me, saying that if you put these two names together, remember to have the surname Zhou.

I nodded, and worked together with her for two breaks, spelling out my first male supporting name for Mary Suwen.

His name is Zhou Beijie.

Damn, can you imagine the expression on my face when I typed these three words?I often complain about myself, and I never hesitate to call myself an idiot.But in the face of such a town bully's name, I can't even call it a fool.

But thinking about it, I am relieved again.After all, we chose Zhou Beijie among the four rural brothers, Zhou Jiebei, Zhou Lunbei, Zhou Beijie and Zhou Beilun.Damn, after all, there is a difference between these four.

In any case, the number one supporting role is decided like this.I remember I asked Guoguo cautiously: Are you sure you want to call it this?

Guoguo said um, that’s all, I think it’s pretty good.

I gave a half-believing oh.

Then there is the name of the pie.Bingbing was very assertive, and said arrogantly, I want my surname to be Luo.

So she called Luo Xiaobing.

At that time, I still applauded her, thinking that this name is so cute and has a good personality. Is there any girl?Looking at it now, the grass mud horse looks like some kind of pasta.

In the end, it's the heroine and the heroine, two bosses, two bombs, so let's talk about it carefully.Let's talk about the heroine first.The heroine naturally refers to me, sorry, I don't want this kind of thing to happen.

The heroine is a fairy girl.In my setting, she conforms to all the character traits of the current heroine Mary Suwen, lively, kind, elegant, noble, gentle and generous, etc. I won’t go into details here, everyone knows it.But at that time, I loved purple the most, so I decided that there must be purple in her name.I picked and picked among a bunch of words I liked, put them together, racked my brains, and finally, the unshakable first Venus in my heart landed on my draft paper on the sound of the get out of class bell.

Her name is Ran Zining.

... cover your face.With such a name, I have no regrets in my writing career.

I really can't figure out how these three words were spelled together by me.And at that time, I thought it was very smart and nice.Think about it carefully, isn't this fucking the same as something like "Ice Crystal Dream Butterfly-Love Snow-Cup Purple Snow Lisa"?

Fortunately, at the age of 14, I still have a sliver of reason. This Miss Ran's hair is not colorful, her eyes are not one red and the other blue, and she can't smell any flowers in a radius of ten miles.But you can definitely guess, yes, her hair is purple.

... Cover your face.Ah, Mama, the Lun family is about to withdraw from the literary world, shame on me.

(Mother slaps her: You are still far away from the literary world, why are you so pretentious.)

Let's talk about the hero again.I recalled the male protagonist's name for two days, and I was so suffocated that I couldn't figure out what it was called, and I didn't even figure out the last name.At that time, I thought fuck, something is wrong, I can't remember what a weird last name I have.

Then one night I suffered from insomnia, lying on the bed at three o'clock in the morning, recalling my goddess, Miss Natural, and then, then, as if I was pointed by some golden finger, a flash of inspiration flashed in my head, and a name flew past , I grabbed its tail.

Cold...cold...cold what?

Oh oh oh cold silver gray!

I was stunned for two seconds, then laughed wildly and smashed the pillow.

It's really called cold silver gray ah paralysis!cold!silver!Ash!This inexplicable and meaningless name has made me completely abandon the shame of being a creator, and turn it into a joyful mentality of rewarding all the wonderful things.Do you know how happy I am right now?Knock on the keyboard so that it flies up and wipes.

I followed the clues and recalled my idea of ​​​​naming it.My male god must have facial paralysis; if it is extremely cold, it is better to be cold; of course, if the hair is gray, this can reflect his coldness; alas, in order to express his coldness more clearly, it is better to call it cold (=ω=).

——This shit!call!What!thing ah!

It can be seen that girls are illogical.Or in other words, in order to conform to the slightly fucked logic, they can bend everything into the way they imagined.May I ask what is so handsome about a gray-haired 15-year-old boy with facial paralysis in real life?After all, is there really such a boy?

As for why it is called "silver gray", I don't have any strength to recall.At that time, I was paralyzed on the bed laughing, my brain was wide open, revealing the bloody and horrible core.I successfully remembered the main content and some small details of this article. I laughed and complained, and laughed while complaining. I couldn’t believe that I had such a Marysu moment.

The following is the outline of the story.

Master Leng Yinhui is a local tyrant, that's right, he is the legendary high-quality, rich and handsome one.They have a maid at home.Don't ask the 14-year-old me why Master Leng went online to openly recruit maids when he had only money left in his family. Even the 20-year-old me doesn't know this.Of course, the goddess of our work-study program, Ran Zining, applied for the job. As for why she was selected, I can say that when I designed the interview, I asked a question, "Can you fry eggs?"Of course, there is also a question about whether you can mend socks.I wiped his meow. I still haven't figured out what kind of family needs the skill of mending socks. The key is that Miss Ran actually knows it.Our lady can do everything, awesome.Then she passed the old butler's initial test and was brought to see the young master by the old butler.At this time, the hero and heroine will meet for the first time. What is Master Leng doing at this time?Of course I don't arrange for him to pick manure or farm, I arrange for him to play the piano.So a classic scene of Mary Suwen appeared: the male protagonist plays the piano, pay attention, the piano must be white, and then the sun shines on him, the female protagonist is watching from the side, and the little heart starts to thump... Oh no, I remember more than The male protagonist is even more cold and the female protagonist Miss Ran didn't plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plop plopSo the cold Miss Ran walked over coldly, and played a song with Master Leng without anyone's consent. Why didn't Master Leng smash the self-proclaimed Miss Ran to death with a piano on the spot? puzzle.In short, they just have a crush on Mung Bean, so what's the matter?Ms. Ran called her girlfriends Luo Xiaobing and Lan Xiong about this joyous event in a calm tone (I'm sorry I can't remember the name of Guoguo, I think it's even weirder), Luo Xiaobing said that I relied on you to actually apply for the maid of Leng Yinhui. Do you know how handsome he is? How awesome is he? How rich is his family? How bad is his attitude? blablabla.Afterwards, there was an inexplicable period of working life as a maid. I have forgotten all the details and will not show it for the time being.Anyway, one day later, Luo Xiaobing said, let's go to Hainan to play!Then they flew to Hainan by plane.At this time, Master Leng was already attracted to Miss Ran, so he packed up and went like a stalker, and called his brother Zhou Beijie and... Uh, the other supporting actor can't even remember his last name, he must be a soy saucer .Well, they went, played for seven days, came back from Hainan, ready to go to school, gone.

I'm really glad that this pit was only written at the beginning, otherwise I would be ashamed to death.

About the fantasy trip of these six people in Hainan, I can finish it with only one sentence: "They had a pleasant seven days." Because at that time, I was already impatient to write (...).

In short, the expression of Bingbing holding my notebook and seeing this sentence is like this: (＝-＝)

Guoguo unfortunately had a big mouth, so her expression is like this: (=O=)

The above is my first Mary Su Wen.

It can be seen that, really, who has never been a girl.Just like the cake mentioned above, after me, I was gearing up and made a hole, writing the story of her and her crush.When she passed the book to me, let me see the scene of her first kiss (there are two men and women on tiptoes under a tree leaning down to kiss, where the sun should be shining at a standard 45-degree angle and just splashed on it. On her face), this short-haired, dark-skinned, monkey-like little girl actually had two blobs of plateau red on her face, which made me sigh.

The same little girl, now 20 years old, has grown into an adult who would say "Dick|cock! I just took off my pants" when commenting on other people's boyfriends. Emma is so relieved.

——May I ask, where is your shame and my shame, old girl!Has your blushing skill been off since you turned it off? !

So young girls must be trained|taught well, you never know what she can look like.

Well, it's a very monumental article anyway.After that, I also wrote some fanfiction.I can remember Gaara, the original heroine, super fantasy, I want to die laughing when I think about it.The most classic dialogue is: "Xiao Ai~~~" "My God, how can this woman be called Kazekage-sama like that! Does she want to die?!" "I'm going to call him Xiao Ai! Why can't I!" "...Ah, so cute (here is the voice of Kazekage-sama)." I really don't understand the logic of this dialogue, because Gaara will not put on an idiot face, he will directly resort to sand waterfall burial.As for the most classic scene, on a dark and windy night, for some reason, the heroine fell into a twitch, walking, pay attention to walking, walking to the Crescent Spring next to Mingsha Mountain, and began... um... dancing .It's not playing in the water, hehe.I don't even know why she wants to dance. It's not my fault at all. It's not a cult practice in the middle of the night. What kind of dance is she dancing in the moonlight? Damn it!I'd rather her Nima is itchy to take a bath and rub the grid! Damn it!In short, she danced, and of course she would not dance in vain, of course she would be seen by Kazekage who couldn't sleep every night, of course it touched his heart, of course she was hugged back by him, of course she got a good night Kiss – so this proves less again!female!yes!without!have!logic!Edit!of!

Well, this is a fanfic that I wrote with great care, because it's the only fanfic where I personally designed the heroine's costumes.That's right, I drew this dress at the front of the book, the emphasis is on nature, the main color is green, and it is wrapped with the kind of leaves that Adam used to cover the penis, it is really beautiful.Oh, I really deserve to be a good girl with all-round development of morality, intelligence, physique, art and labor.

In short, this is my writing experience of fantasy and unreasonable girlhood.Looking back now, even I am shocked. What happened to me in my life after that to be tempered into what I am today. Thinking about it, I feel so terrible and trembling.

As for high school, there is nothing to talk about.Once I entered Danmei, it was as deep as the sea, and since then I have been a passerby, and I have finally grown into a beast, covering my face with embarrassment.

....................................

In fact, I still have a lot to say about writing.Originally, this article was [-] words long, full of miscellaneous words, and even mentioned homosexuality.After writing it for a while and then reading it again, I felt that I was so annoying, so I deleted some opinions, no need, no need.Why do you have to go out of your way to beg for a little empathy with others, and then look at your hypocritical face afterwards, it's really disgusting to vomit.

My attitude has always been very clear: I write mine, you read yours, we can discuss, but I will never compromise unconditionally.Jinjiang is a hotbed of reader determinism, but I have never been a supporter of reader determinism, not when I read, and naturally not when I write.Difficult to say, I come according to my taste, if you like it, come here, if you don't like it, change to another one, it's the simplest truth.

Of course, I will definitely look at my essays from the reader's point of view, and as a reader, I must be strict with myself.I am picky about typos, punctuation marks, the palatability of characters' lines, chapter structure, narrative style, and more harshly, literary grace and connotation.So in my opinion, "Fear the Way" is childish to death.The only thing I can take a second look at is "The Whale", and only because it has some kind of commemorative significance.If I were asked to criticize "Fearing the Way", I could analyze one, two, three, and in fact I had already analyzed one, two, three; but I don't think it's necessary to write it down, it's enough to reflect on it.

I realized more and more clearly that some things should not be taken too seriously, or you should not show your seriousness in front of others, otherwise it will be embarrassing and even annoying.To be honest, who cares about these things, you just get up and write.

Then there will be a second collection of short essays, "Daydream", which will end after ten essays are also solemnly written.The attribute is naturally Tanmei. Jinjiang classification is all there is, and I have no choice.As for when it will open, there is no certainty, wait until I am tortured crazy by the two big pits at hand.Kafka said that all obstacles are crushing me, it is one thing to come to me, and all big pits are tormenting me.I also wanted to get lung disease and coughed loudly, coughing up my heart, liver, spleen, lungs and kidneys, and the whole earth trembled under the sound of my coughing.In this way, if I die, I won’t be able to fill in the pits, but that’s okay, because I die, just like Kafka died without looking back after throwing off three novels.

Ah, I can't compare like this, I'm shameless, I'm sorry.

So be it, and end with my gaffes and confessions, and thank you for reading.

I'm withdrawing, see you in Xinwen, it's okay if you don't see me, just say goodbye.

2014.03.02.

The author has something to say:

Bye bye.

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