silent me, silent us

After a hasty shower, he put on a newly bought turtleneck sweater and black jeans, humming a song from Mayday, and prepared to go out. He was full of anticipation to get on the pumpkin bus and arrive at the small castle behind the red iron gate.

Everything is going so well and the night is about to come.

Just as Ye Guang was wrapping up his scarf and looking at the mirror at the door, Shun Shun's hair excitedly turned the lock, the video phone in the living room rang.

"Happy birthday baby boy!"

The screen shows that there is a party scene at the other end, and my parents are blasting cannons at the camera, wearing age-appropriate party hats on their heads.

The sincerity and joyful atmosphere of people's birthday celebration.

After receiving the congratulations from his parents, Ye Guang sat on the sofa and smiled lightly at the screen.

"thanks."

Thought you forgot.

No matter how happy he is, maybe today he has deliberately forgotten the feeling of being ignored by others. While he was busy accepting those congratulations, his heart

At the end, there is also the person who most wants to receive blessings.

He doesn't ask for anything, he knows they are very busy with work, and it doesn't matter if they can't go back to Taiwan, as long as there is a phone call to solve his birthday anxiety,

As long as they remembered that he was here on this day, he was content.

As long as they still think about him, as long as they talk to him about things other than school, that's fine.

Foreigners other than his parents appeared on the screen, and they also said happy birthday to him, and he thanked them one by one.

How can it be so laborious?Throwing him a birthday party on the other side of the sea?

Ye Guang rubbed his eyes for this kind of caring behavior that he had never seen before, and there was a wave of emotion in his heart that made his eyes warm.

The scene in the video screen is a bit dark, dotted with dots of colored light, and it looks full of exotic warmth. The continuous laughter is very lively, which somewhat covers Ye's father and Ye's mother's words. Ye Guang said with a smile, " What?" He pricked up his ears close to the sound hole to hear more clearly.

"...Today we came to a friend's party and realized that it's your birthday today too. I was so busy that I forgot to take a look. Luckily, we made it in time.

up! "

The moment he heard it clearly, the smile at the corner of his mouth froze, and the heat flowing in his heart instantly cooled down until it was as cold as the air outside.

Ye's father and Ye's mother said relaxedly, as if they remembered their son's birthday because of someone else's birthday, what a coincidence and

Surprised, but also complacent about catching up with my precious son's birthday in time.

I don't think it hurts at all to say that.

It was like a misunderstanding in a comedy drama, and the protagonist who made the embarrassment was himself.

The words of his parents seemed to be mocking him for being sentimental, and those dialogues that stunned him continued to play out in his mind until emotions like anger surged

, making Ye Guang's breathing disordered.

You are too busy to forget my birthday, but you are free to attend your friend's birthday?

Is it, it turns out that you thought of me because your friend also had a birthday?

It turns out that I exist, do you need others to remind you?

I can't laugh anymore.

Not aware of Ye Guang's strange behavior at all, the parents of artificial intelligence are still moving their mouths.

"We sent a birthday present just now. You will definitely like it. Let's keep it a secret. By the way, I received the report card of the last section exam.

Not bad, keep working hard, you are Dad's proudest son. "

...why should I make you proud?

Ye Guang twitched his nose, suppressing a certain emotion.

"...I'm going to celebrate my classmate's birthday later, is that okay?"

With a mentality, Ye Guang can predict how Ye's father will react after such words are spoken.

"Birthday? It's eight o'clock in Taiwan! You still have to go out so late? What kind of birthday party do you have for kids?"

After saying this, someone seemed to call them in the distance, so Father Ye and Mother Ye hurriedly raised champagne glasses to the camera, and said again, "Congratulations on your birthday!"

Happy" and "You can't go out, I will tell Maria", the video was cut off.

As if paralyzed, Ye Guang sat on the sofa without even the strength to move, just staring at the disconnected screen, as if continuing to watch

, the screen will appear the same again.

So what if the screen reappears?

When will you be back?

When will you return my phone?

I care about you, I've already made an appointment with someone.

Can you stop being so annoying?

None of those words came out of my mouth.

He didn't talk to them properly from the beginning to the end, but didn't he already know this?

They never listened carefully to him.

To be honest, he didn't expect their presents at all.How can a person who doesn't want to know him know what kind of gift he likes?

?

While the whole world is investigating what I want, you never want to know what I want.

Is such a relationship normal?Such a parent-child relationship.

Ye Guang didn't know.

Growing up in such an environment, what is normal and what is abnormal, because there is no way to compare, so the anxiety must be in his eyes.

When it is clear, it arises spontaneously, and gradually spreads until it can no longer bear the load.

Perhaps the relationship between them is just like a groom urging a horse to go on the road, and how can the groom remember a horse's birthday?think

Thinking about it, Ye Guang smiled lightly, but the corners of his mouth curled unnaturally.

He kept telling himself it was nothing, it was just a birthday, one of the tricks of the businessman, one of the excuses for the students to have fun, but

Someone just forgot, so what?

Anyway, there are still a lot of people thinking about it, look, those big bags and small bags in the corner of the living room with a height of [-] meters are all blessings to him, wait

Xu Qizhang will also cook a lot of delicious dishes, maybe he will sing to him while kissing him.

What a blessing, let him rejoice that he was born in this world.

So he doesn't have to ask them to remember, he is not such a narrow-minded person.

It's just that the more I think about it, the more tears gather in the corners of my eyes.

How did you get here in the past?

But now under the great grief, I can't remember it.

So what was in my heart completely disappeared along with the LCD screen that formed a white line.

＊＊＊＊＊＊

After pressing the harsh electric bell, the iron door opened automatically after a while.

Walking up the dark stairs, a tall, thin figure in an apron leaned out to meet him, perhaps because the stairwell was too dark and there was too much light behind him

Because of Liang, Ye Guang had the urge to have a sour nose again.

"Hi, long time no see."

Stretching out his hand to rub Ye Guang's cold face, seeing his red eyes, Xu Qizhang frowned almost invisibly but didn't say much.side

He let Ye Guang in, closed the iron door and then the wooden door, and Xu Qizhang hung Ye Guang's coat on the back of the chair.

"Wash your hands and eat first, birthday boy."

The back was gently patted twice, reminding Ye Guang of the graffiti incident. When he misunderstood his classmates and apologized to the whole class, the pair of gifted eyes on his back

The hand that gave him courage did the same, as if telling him "It's okay, I'm on your side."

Whenever Xu Qizhang pats him like this, those warm actions will always create some churning emotions in his heart, whether he is moved, shy, or

The urge to cry will come with a beating heartbeat.

At this time, he always thinks: there is no one else, no one else can bring him such a feeling.

"Sit here."

Xu Qizhang motioned for him to sit down. On the round dining table, there were three dishes and one soup. He didn't cook any extravagant dishes because of Ye Guang's birthday. He knew that Xu Qizhang

Zhang is not the kind of flamboyant person, but if you look closely, the dishes are more colorful than usual.

Stir-fried flower branches with sand tea, in addition to green peppers, red and yellow bell peppers are also paired, the color is bright but very refreshing; tomato scrambled eggs, mixed with bright yellow

A little lovely red, dotted with green nine-story pagodas, this is Ye Guang's favorite way to eat, Xu Qizhang will always write it down silently, and then

Change the color of the dish; steamed cod, topped with moderately sized ginger slices and green onions, with a light soy sauce color in it, simple but delicious

Rice; tribute ball soup sprinkled with minced celery, no egg drop soup today, maybe there are already scrambled eggs.Xu Qizhang said that you can't eat too much eggs a day.

Many times, at this time Ye Guang would always feel that he was very old-fashioned, and if he said it, he would only be looked at helplessly with those sad but undeniable eyes.

The simple colors on the dining table silently celebrate him.

Such a simple dish that can appear in almost every family, but it always makes him feel nostalgic, moved, and mixed with regret.

emotion.

He turned his head and looked at Xu Qizhang standing in front of the aluminum counter, as if he was finishing the last dish.

The back figure in the apron gave Ye Guang a feeling of sudden loneliness and excitement welling up from the bottom of his heart.

Ye Guang stood up and approached him, wrapped his arms around his waist from behind, and leaned his face on Xu Qizhang's back, as if this could fill the sudden void.

virtual.

He was not frightened by Ye Guang, because he had heard the sound of his slippers moving.Xu Qizhang washed his hands, dried them, and put a ring on his Bingbing hands

The arm around his waist was silent for a while, he knew that what Ye Guang wanted now was not words.

But if this continues, the food will be cold.

"Ye Guang, do you want to talk?"

As if waiting for him to take the initiative to speak, Xu Qizhang didn't ask "what's the matter", but asked Ye Guang if he wanted to tell him.

Leaning his head on his broad but thin back, Ye Guang heard Xu Qizhang's question, and suddenly felt that these small things didn't seem to be very important.

It's almost like a child throwing a tantrum... He was supposed to come to have a fun night...

"My parents, Baimu..."

Ye Guang was a little vague when he said the word "baimu". Of course, Ye Guang didn't dare to say such disrespectful words too clearly, but he felt disobedient when he blurted out

of ease.

The arms around his waist were patted in a regular rhythm, once and for all, saying that he would like to hear more about it.

So Ye Guang spit it out just like that.Well, when those serious emotions are translated into words, the more I speak, the more childish I feel.exist

When Xu Qizhang said such things in front of him, he might just feel that he didn't know what to do.So the more Ye Guang spoke, the softer his voice became, and the more guilty he became.

Those sorrows were gradually dispelled by Xu Qizhang's silent listening.

"Hey...do you think I'm naive?"

Ye Guang sucked his upper lip, and his hands tightened a bit.

Then I heard Xu Qizhang sigh again.Every time Xu Qizhang sighed, Ye Guang would be very nervous.Sigh without expression, it is really hard to let

People guess their minds.

"Childish...Actually, there are times when I feel that my mother is innocent." Xu Qizhang said lightly.

For example, before going out this morning, my mother looked at him with a strange smile and said, "What's your secret?"

Laugh wildly.If he hadn't known his mother's occasionally crazy personality, he would have thought she was crazy.But this sentence really made him tremble with fear.

What secret do you have?

Secretly riding a motorcycle as a minor?Secretly saved private money?Lubricant bought secretly?Secretly thinking about Ye Guang masturbating?secretly

dating Ye Guang?No matter how I think about it, I do have many secrets, but how would my mother know?

So Xu Qizhang kept silent, waiting for his mother to tell him what she found, and at the end there was only a burst of wild laughter, and he began to feel a little

Burned, but still endured.Just when he was about to shake his head and leave, his mother's laughing words came intermittently.

"This is the method I learned on TV today...haha...the cliché method! Are you scared?"

... Baimu, Baimu, a middle-aged woman.Xu Qizhang commented in a moment of relief in his heart.

But in fact, when he thought about it later in the civics class, he thought it might be a good thing to make his mother so happy.just because of myself

I really did too many sneaky things, that's why I became angry from embarrassment.

Bringing a bowl of pork knuckle noodles to Ye Guang, Xu Qizhang took off his apron and hung it aside, and sat down.

"Blind eyes, my mother."

"It's still... quite scary."

Although it was a little different, Ye Guang could feel the impact of the middle-aged people's unintentional talk.

In fact, middle-aged people are those with thicker external weapons, right?

If they feel childish, middle-aged people probably are, too.

You shouldn't expect too much from them, in the end it's really yourself who gets hurt.

You have to learn not to have too many expectations, so you won't receive too much disappointment.

Ye Guang looked at the steaming pork knuckle noodle on the table, feeling a little relieved.

Xu Qizhang probably already knew this, right?

In private, Ye Guang always felt that he was more mature and refined than usual.

"It should be difficult for parents, they have to deal with family finances, their own emotions, and children's affairs. Those balances are difficult to maintain.

Department, so it is often messed up or can only pick a few to deal with. "

Xu Qizhang said softly.

In the eyes of children, parents may be gods, but in fact they are also human beings.

We are all human beings, so we cannot expect him to be perfect.

"Ye Guang, if you can't change the status quo, try to change your state of mind... Although it's bad to say this, it will really make you feel better

. '

They are so powerless, perhaps living happily is the most important thing at this time.

Xu Qizhang did not say anything like "try to communicate with them" or "tell them what you think in your heart" like a tutor

Words, his tone seems to be telling an experience, his experience.

Because he is Xu Qizhang, he speaks very convincingly.

Also very handsome.

"Xu Qizhang...Your back is glowing, I can't open my eyes anymore." Ye Guang rubbed his eyes, as if trying to cover up something, and said with a frightened expression.

That move made Xu Qizhang laugh out loud, and Ye Guang thought that chuckle was very sexy.

"I was discovered by you, so let's give a gift first."

As if by magic, Xu Qizhang really took out a white paper bag from behind.

After Ye Guang took the paper bag in surprise, Xu Qizhang took out the guitar that was mixed into the sundries from the side.Opening its black leather pouch, popping up Jane

A single chord, cleared the throat, and the ethereal voice turned into a charming melody.

Happy Birthday

have a nice day

Hope you happy forever

Happy birthday to lovely Ye Guang

The variation of the happy birthday song, and the variation of the lyrics, sounds a little playful but is a little bit affectionate.

"How cute!"

Also to cover up something, he blushed and slapped Xu Qizhang a few times, which made Xu Qizhang chuckle again.

Holding Ye Guang's slapping hand, Xu Qizhang stared at him, the blinking of eyes and the corners of his lips that were often played in slow motion in Ye Guang's eyes, forever

Far is so charming.

"You are such a lovely existence in my heart, happy birthday."

Ye Guang can only do those nasty love words occasionally, and he doesn't understand why Xu Qizhang can say these words so naturally.Although Xu Qizhang is very

He often speaks, but it is not sentimental at all, but sincere, as if those words exist in his mind anytime and anywhere, only waiting for the best

Time to speak.

The moment Xu Qizhang approached his lips, Ye Guang lost his mind and asked softly:

"Is... the most important person?"

Am I the most important person, am I your most important person?

Do you think about me all the time?

"It is the most important existence."

Xu Qizhang didn't use the superficial words of "human" to explain Ye Guang, he said "existence".

In his heart, everything about Ye Guang, even any trivial matter, is the most important thing at any moment.

When a person wants to confirm what kind of existence he is in another person's heart, it means what kind of existence he wants to occupy in that person's heart.

in.

This sentence is enough, this is the best birthday present.

Me too, Xu Qizhang, you are my most important existence.

He didn't say anything, because Xu Qizhang pressed his lips against his, and they kissed each other fiercely, and the breath they exhaled was like a turbulent current winding around him.

Men.

Moaning with forgetfulness, Ye Guang hooked Xu Qizhang's back neck, they both tried to push each other closer to themselves, but in exchange for a while

Pain like pressure.

It's not really painful, maybe it's the proof that the treasure is swollen to the point of pain in the bottom of my heart.

The entangled figures at the dining table had disappeared, so the pork knuckle noodle and three dishes and one soup were ignored until after eleven o'clock in the evening

, was pitifully pushed into the microwave oven, and was finally eaten by the hungry teenagers.

＊＊＊＊＊＊

Kissed goodbye secretly in front of the house, Ye Guang returned home lightly, closed the door and jumped on the bed, eager to open the gift.

Inside is a simple white phone.

It was a mobile phone model produced by a company that used the Internet as a promotional tool without paying for each other. The body should not be very expensive, but they never

Ye Guang was really surprised by Xu Qizhang's seemingly generous gift.

Seemingly understanding Ye Guang's surprise, the opening birthday card read:

"Dear Ye Guang, don't worry, that mobile phone is not very expensive, but it is something I have always wanted to give you, please let me give it to you, because I want to

It's a torment to be unable to call you while listening to your voice. "

Looking at the letter, Xu Qizhang's beautiful words gave Ye Guang the illusion that he was reading the letter in his ear.

"I've actually been thinking about what you need, and you also said that what I give you is what you want most. To be honest, this makes me even more distressed."

Smiling, Ye Guang was proud that his little prank worked for Xu Qizhang.

"So I was thinking, maybe what you need most is my love."

Seeing this sentence, Ye Guang felt that he had been defeated again, and couldn't help kicking his feet.

"You know, because I'm not very good with words,"

No wonder, when you clearly faced me, you said those messy things smoothly.

"So I will convey it to you in another way. There is a piece of music in the phone, which is written for you. Although it is a very immature creation, I hope you

like. "

"Happy birthday Xu Qizhang loves you"

With his heart beating like a beating drum, Ye Guang opened the phone case and turned on the phone with trembling hands. The desktop was a lovely hand-painted leaf.Press to enter the function page,

Find the music option.

"Okay", "Laughing and Forgetting Songs", and "The Most Important Little Thing", among many Mayday songs, Ye Guang saw a song called "Silence in Silence"

"song.His heart was about to explode, and he pressed the play button.

It is a song with a complete arrangement, it seems to be recorded in a studio, with a brisk rock style, starting with the drums and introducing a low and steady bass, and then

The main melody electric guitar, after fully presenting the atmosphere, is the magnetic voice of Xu Qizhang.

vast sea of ​​trees

Which leaf vein hides the teardrop you don't want others to see

Silently dripping at the corners of my eyes, turning into traces that will never be erased

It's a bit of a mouthful to sing like that, maybe you prefer straightforward words

That is, one day I saw you and inexplicably wanted to be with you forever

So I made a lot of silent efforts and tried my best

So I said a lot of silent words carefully

I watched a lot of things about you in silence, maybe like a silly B

It's all because I want to love you

in the crowd

Which smile hides the chance that your heart will be moved

That person must be me, don't doubt

Xu Qizhang's voice seems to be capable of any song.

But it's so stinky, really stinky.

Ye Guang listened to this song with the feeling of being caught with a handjob from the beginning to the end.

He repeated it many times, this lyrical rock song with a little joy, youth, and longing.

As soon as he thought that the content of the lyrics was sung to him by Xu Qizhang, Ye Guang's heart continued to tremble uncontrollably.

Obviously just kissed him just now, but now I want to hug him tightly, this feeling makes my heart ache.

Immediately dialed the only built-in number, the other party seemed to be waiting for a long time, and got through quickly.

His nervous voice came from the microphone.

"Ah Chi, they said, my song is rotten."

It can be imagined that when he said this, he was smiling shyly.

I want to say something, but apart from taking deep breaths and suppressing the sobs that will appear in the next second, it seems difficult to say anything else.

This song made him feel the loneliness of birthdays in the past 17 years, all dissipated.

"Ye Guang, are you crying?"

"...Is your mother... back?" Ye Guang asked intermittently.

"...Not yet." Xu Qizhang felt his heart beating a little faster.

"Can you come to my house, I want to see you, I want to see you, I want to see you..."

Although I know that Ye Guang's crying point is very strange, but the sound of wanting to see you accompanied by sobbing really made Xu Qizhang so excited that he stuffed his uniform into the book

When packing, he accidentally forgot to stuff his underwear, and he didn't remember until he came to Ye Guang's house again in the drag racing and hugged him tightly.

But the uneasiness of forgetting to bring his underwear didn't stay in his heart for too long, because Ye Guang's rare initiative made him lose focus.

Being pushed down on the bed, Xu Qizhang had a premonition that the dark circles under his eyes would become ten times worse tomorrow.

"Xu Qizhang..."

Only the night light was on in the room, and Ye Guang straddled him in pajamas, whispering, with a rare coquettish attitude, slowly bent down, Xu Qizhang stared at him.

Da usually always half-closed his eyes, swallowing several mouthfuls of saliva could not stop the saliva from the corners of their lips sliding down when they kissed.

Don't care if you will be discovered tomorrow, don't care if your underwear will be dirty, regardless of everything, the most important thing at this moment belongs to them,

little affair.

The two of them in the room began to do the exercise of being dumb again, until they were exhausted and couldn't come out with anything.

Lying on Xu Qizhang's chest, Ye Guang whispered in Xu Qizhang's ear:

"thanks."

Thank you for celebrating my birthday, thank you for finding me in the crowd, thank you for liking me.

A lot of thanks, all in this kiss before going to bed, transformed into indescribable happiness.

Such happiness may become a shield against any misfortune in the future.

They all believed so deeply.

The next day, it was rare for Maria to oversleep, and the driver, Uncle, seemed to be temporarily told to take a holiday.

Seeing two breakfasts on the dining table, they smiled at each other and sincerely thanked the angel Maria for giving them a good morning.

I also "by the way" thank my parents for giving birth to them so that they can have such a beautiful morning together.