quarrel for three days, fight for two days

-1-

It is easy to spot one's own kind in a crowd.

I thought I hid it well and sat up straight, but another boy confessed to me in the third year of high school.

At that time, I had just finished the final exam, and it was rare for everyone to be lazy, and it was rare for the teacher to ignore me. I slowly put away the desk, and there were not many people left in the classroom. Lu Xiu was probably playing with a broom on the podium.

Then someone shouted at the door, saying that someone was looking for me, it was that boy.

Let's call it little A.

I actually admire little A, he is different from me, I am pretending to be a normal person, but he is openly telling the world.

It is not very accurate to say that it is an announcement, after all, most of it is because it is passed from class to class.

Most of the boys in the science class took this kind of thing as a joke, but Xiao A probably had an easier time in the liberal arts class.

——Because when I participated in the competition training, I heard the girls in the liberal arts class scolding the boys in our class for teasing, and my memory is still fresh.

He called me out to the corner at the end of the corridor, the sky was already dark, and outside the window was the unique sunset glow of middle school.

Little A said he liked me.

It was the first time I was confessed by a boy, but if it was a girl, I could easily refuse.

But for the first time in reality, I met someone who likes boys like me.

I froze for a while, thinking about how to politely refuse.

Little A didn't avoid it either, but just looked at me seriously.

"Thank you for liking me," I was infected by his eyes, and my mood calmed down, "but I'm sorry, I already have someone I like, and he is also a boy."

Little A didn't seem to expect me to say that, and was stunned, and suddenly smiled shyly for a long time: "So that's the case, then can I ask you a question, which side are you on?"

I didn't understand, so I asked a question.

Little A got closer and whispered, "I am 0."

After realizing it, his face flushed red. He didn't think it was that deep before, but he didn't seem to have made a second assumption for himself from the beginning.

It was too embarrassing to say it, and my mind was like a muddle at the time. It was the first time I said this, and I didn’t know why I would tell others. "I seem to be... also..."

Looking up again, I saw Xiao A with a long way to go: "You probably haven't told anyone about this, have you? I won't tell others."

I nodded, only to realize that I had talked too much, thank you, but my face was still burning.

"Don't worry," Little A said, "We are now the revolutionary united front."

Before I could react, I heard him add: "I used to be greedy for your face and body, but now I suddenly feel a maternal love for you."

Although it is not necessary, Little A is indeed a good person.

-2-

When I went back to the classroom, there were fewer people, and no one asked me what Xiao A wanted me for.

Before Lu Xiu left, his schoolbag had already been packed, and he was sitting on the seat, reading a piece of paper idly.

I wanted to ask him why he hasn't come home yet, and recalled the conversation with little A just now, suddenly I didn't know how to face Lu Xiu, so I walked over to put my schoolbag back on my back: "I'm leaving, goodbye."

But Lu Xiu pulled back the schoolbag: "I'm with you."

It is said that they are together, but it is only a distance from the classroom to the garage to the outside of the school gate.

"What did Xiao A ask you for just now? It's been so long." Lu Xiu asked.

Of course you can't tell him.

"I just asked about... about my studies."

"You two knew each other before?"

"I don't know, I came to ask about my English homework."

The English teacher of our two classes was the same teacher, and I was the English class representative at the time.

Lu Xiu didn't speak, he always felt that his expression was a bit strange, and the atmosphere was a bit cold.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked him.

At this time, I had already walked out of the school gate and got on the bike. His house and I were going in opposite directions, and we usually separated at the first intersection.

But he went in my direction.

"I was thinking, communicating English homework, why are you blushing."

He didn't look at me, and his voice couldn't be heard clearly in the wind.

Did he know such an ambiguous sentence?

As I thought about it, my heartstrings twisted together, and the front of the car involuntarily tilted for a moment, but I didn't answer him.

He didn't continue talking.

I want to tell him, I want to know his opinion, but I am nervous, so I can only let myself go and let my instinct ride forward.

"Hey!"

I heard Lu Xiu yell, the rear of the car was pulled, and I looked up to find that it was a red light.

Then we didn't talk all the way, and I didn't care that he followed me until we reached the gate of my community and turned around to say goodbye to him.

"Did he confess to you?"

He didn't wait for me to speak, and asked directly.

There was a lump in my throat, a feeling of being choked, I looked at him and nodded: "Yes."

Lu Xiu's expression froze for a moment, then he lowered his head: "Don't you like girls?"

To be honest, when I fell in love with Lu Xiu, I was ready that we would not have an ending.

But when I heard him ask this, there was a place in my heart that burst into pain.

I have to admit that I can't get rid of some dark psychology after all--the sourness and sadness and incomprehension during the secret love are all caused by me, and have nothing to do with Lu Xiu. At this moment, I want to blame him.

"Can't I like men?" My tone was colder than usual.

Lu Xiu suddenly raised his head and looked at me with panic: "That's not what I meant."

"what does that mean?"

When he got off the station, he wanted to walk towards me but stopped: "Did you promise him?"

I just felt that there was a thin layer of fog in front of my eyes, and the powerlessness in my heart made me feel a little bit self-defeating.

"I didn't promise him, I have someone I like."

Lu Xiu's shoulders seemed to loosen when he heard the previous sentence, but he shrugged again after I finished speaking: "Who do you like?"

"I don't want to say," I looked at him, not knowing why I was crying, but my voice was trembling uncontrollably, "because there will be no result between me and him."

Not wanting to wait for his reply, I could only turn around and ride home as if fleeing. I couldn't help it, and cried a lot.

-3-

I get sick after crying.

I don't know if it was from crying for too long in the garage without air conditioning, or because my immune system was negligent because I was thinking too much, but it burned very badly, and it didn't get better for a long time.

The high school holidays were short, and the final exam was only a few days away from the Spring Festival. I felt good on New Year's Eve, but I had a terrible headache that night. Many clinics were closed, so I went directly to the emergency room and got water.

Originally, the whole family was watching the Spring Festival Gala, but I probably messed up everyone's mood by making such a move, and it was getting late, so I estimated the time when the medicine was finished and asked my mother to go back first.

My mother left, and I played with my phone to prevent myself from falling asleep. Everyone was sending blessing messages on New Year's Eve. Maybe because I couldn't touch my phone at ordinary times, all the groups were very lively at the moment.

Lu Xiu sent me a "Happy New Year".

I haven't been in touch with him for a long time, and I usually send messages at night when there is no holiday, but since that farewell, there has been no news, and I haven't even sent a message to Moments. .

It was as if the whole person had disappeared out of thin air.

I didn't take the initiative to look for him, and I tacitly assumed that this secret love that should have been silent was over.Looking at the group message on the phone, I thought about it and replied politely.

At this time, Lu Xiu made a phone call.

I was stunned for a moment and still answered, said "Hello", and realized that my voice had become hoarse again at some point, so I cleared my throat.

In the end, after I finished clearing my throat, there was no sound from the other side. I was a little puzzled, and called his name: "Lu Xiu?"

He just made a sound, thinking that he just came back to his senses, the voice through the phone was a bit hazy.

"I haven't heard your voice for a long time, and I didn't slow down all of a sudden."