To rely on others is to promise each other

What broke Pei Shanqing's peaceful dream was a text message from Zhu Ying, which expressed the miss and care of everyone in the studio.

Pei Shanqing was in a good mood when he first received it, but he stopped thinking so after reading it, because Zhu Ying said: "We all miss President Xiao Jiang very much, and hope he gets better soon."

The fact that Pei Shanqing went abroad is not a secret in the studio, but this text message has a different charm no matter how you look at it, his heart hangs in an instant, but no one answers Zhu Ying's call back, so he can only leave a message and wait for the other party to call. .

He waited from the morning until the end of get off work time at noon, and only in the middle of the meeting did he expect Zhu Ying's call. After learning the truth, Pei Shanqing felt the blood pouring from his whole body, rushing straight to his brain, and he was indescribably suffocated.

Zhu Yingcai realized later that she had said something wrong, and after saying a few comforting words, she told him the address of Jiang Yubai's hospital.

Pei Shanqing seemed to suspend the meeting calmly, arranged the next work in a calm manner, and walked out of the meeting room steadily and quickly under the watchful eyes of the senior management.

It's just that on the way to the office, the flight booking page on the phone in front of him became more and more blurred, and his legs were trembling uncontrollably. The assistant quickly caught up and supported him in surprise.

Before the assistant could ask anything, Pei Shanqing said in a weak voice as if he had grasped the straw, "Book the ticket for me, and I want the ticket back to City C at the earliest."

Pei Shanqing's life seemed to be closely connected with Jiang Yubai from a long distance. After learning that he had committed suicide and lost a lot of blood, he felt like a rag doll whose cotton wool had been hollowed out.

Until he settled everything with the help of others and got on the plane to fly to China, Pei Shanqing looked out the window at the almost still clouds, thinking of those days when he and Jiang Yubai got along for no reason.

They seldom stayed together peacefully as lovers, and the only few afternoons they spent in peace were also during the period when Jiang Yubai didn't allow him to go out.This also caused the time for them to really fall in love to be greatly shortened, which is nothing compared to the few months of separation.

Looking back now, Pei Shanqing feels more like an asteroid orbiting the central celestial body, moving in an elliptical orbit.When you are close, do centrifugal movements with high speed.When you are far away, do a centripetal movement with a small speed.

The only constant is that Pei Shanqing will never give up on Jiang Yubai.

Even if the rose's first bloom is not a bloom, and its withering is not a withering, it is also rooted in the illusory dream and eats away at the empty heart.

There were scattered people in the long corridor of the hospital, with different expressions. Pei Shanqing passed them one by one, and went straight into the ward. Pei Yi stood in front of the window and looked down at his mobile phone. When he heard the sound of leather shoes stepping lightly, he turned and looked back at him. .

There was no surprise on his face, as if he knew that Pei Shanqing would come back, he didn't say a word.

Jiang Yubai sat leaning against the head of the bed, his eyes instantly brightened when he touched him, he subconsciously held his breath without blinking, for fear that this was just his hallucination.

Pei Shanqing looked back at him, saw the curving arc of the tail of his long hair stuck on his shoulders, his thin body exposed at the neckline, and the thick layer of gauze wrapped around his wrists.

His footsteps were quick and slow, and he walked to the bed almost quietly, then hugged him in his arms like walking on thin ice, and kissed his warm ears lightly.

Pei Yi raised his foot and was about to go out. As soon as he walked to the door, he heard Jiang Yubai say the first sentence since he was admitted to the hospital——

He said: "It's great, today's dream is warm."

Pei Shanqing's tears fell on Jiang Yubai's clothes, leaving a small wet mark. It took Jiang Yubai a long time to react, and he raised his arms to wrap his arms around his neck.

"Honey, this is not a dream." Pei Shanqing said, "I'm back."

Pei Shanqing has never seen Jiang Yubai's expression like this. He is cautious and harsh even in hugs. Before kissing, he will use his eyes to ask for advice. His pupils are bleak, but he still begs for his gift over and over again. .

The smell of disinfectant from the hospital mixed with the lingering woody fragrance made people's hearts flutter, but they just hugged each other, kissed each other's cheeks and lips restrainedly, and it took a long time before they parted reluctantly.

The nurse knocked on the door and came in with a cart to check Jiang Yubai's wound and change his dressing. Pei Shanqing stood aside and caught a glimpse of the blood when the gauze was about to come off.

He knew that Jiang Yubai was not as fragile as he appeared on the surface. He was a person who would achieve his goal no matter what the cost. Naturally, it was the same when it came to suicide.

He would check the cause of death and the duration of each method in advance, and choose the most effective and fastest method among them. Therefore, Pei Shanqing could imagine the appearance of his wound without looking too much.

It was a complicated feeling, as if what Jiang Yubai had cut off was a certain part of his heart, and then cut it out of the body abruptly to study its mechanism and structure.

Part of the gauze was stuck to the unhealed flesh, and Jiang Yubai didn't cry out for pain when he peeled it off, but continued to look at Pei Shanqing along the gap in the curtain.

Pei Shanqing could hardly hold back his tears, but he didn't want to lose his composure in front of Jiang Yubai again.He thought: between the two of them, no matter how difficult the road is, everyone is determined to die, and he must continue to persevere.

So Pei Shanqing walked out of the ward and came to the stairwell with Pei Yi. Pei Yi silently took out the cigarette case from his pocket, took out a cigarette and put it in his mouth.

"Dad, this is a non-smoking hospital." Pei Shanqing reminded him, but felt that this was too blunt, so he added, "Smoking is not good for the lungs."

Pei Yi glanced at him and said, "I didn't buy a lighter, I just chewed on it to decompress."

Pei Shanqing was silent for a while, stretched out his hand in front of him, and asked, "Can you give me one?"

The father and son reached a temporary agreement. One was leaning against a wall with an unlit cigarette in his mouth. Anyone who saw this scene would laugh, but obviously the person concerned was not in a very good mood.

Pei Shanqing stared at Pei Yi's white hair roots for a long time, Pei Yi's eyes fell on the stubble on Pei Shanqing's face from time to time, and after a while, both of them said at the same time: "You..."

"You go ahead." Pei Shanqing said first, "I have nothing to explain."

Pei Yi sighed for a long time, and confessed: "I want to ask how you are doing abroad, but it seems unnecessary now, and I have to admit that in a sense, maybe only you Only then can Jiang Yubai be taken good care of."

Pei Shanqing thought blankly: Maybe he is not competent in terms of family members, at least he brought Jiang Yubai to the present situation.

"But since he..." Pei Yi tried his best to use words carefully, but in the end he used the most realistic words, "After he got sick, I have been thinking about how to give him the best care and be worthy of his parents .”

"If we have been struggling with this issue, why not ask him for his own opinion?" Pei Shanqing asked, "Shouldn't his life be defined by himself?"

"That's what I said, but who can guarantee that my choice will not go wrong? It's like I ignored obstacles 22 years ago and chose to marry your mother. In the end, they broke up unhappy and didn't take good care of you."

"...Let's not talk about this anymore, I know you will think that all this is due to my obstruction, and that I should not force you to separate." Pei Yi laughed at himself, "I know myself, but you have to understand, in No parent would sit idly by in this matter."

"So, what's the point of what you said? Are you regretting it?" Pei Shanqing felt that he was used to the dull pain and became insensitive, "Regret everything you did?"

Pei Yi shook his head and said, "No, just like now, I also insist that you should separate."

"Then you are really contradictory. Since you want him to be happy and stop being depressed, you should give him everything he wants." Pei Shanqing retorted, "You clearly know that the only thing he wants from the beginning to the end is me, and you do this It’s nothing more than privately defining his future.”

"What about you? Aren't you?" Pei Yi asked back, "What were you thinking when you promised me to leave? Didn't you leave because you agreed with what I said, or felt worried or fearful?"

Pei Shanqing was at a loss for words for a while, before saying, "I suspect you are passing the buck to me."

"That's not true. I admit that I was wrong. What I said now is just to discuss the follow-up matters with you." Pei Yi spat out the deformed filter cigarette holder and continued after a pause.

"Being with you will make him better, but that's only in your and my eyes. In other words, if you stay and take care of him, being with him is tantamount to forcing him to leave the crowd Happiness, do you think this is right?"

Pei Shanqing didn't answer, Pei Yi said slowly: "I just said that I don't regret everything I did, because anyone in this society would do it. Even if I am suffering from the mistakes I made, Sooner or later, it will get better with the passage of time."

"Then you're not cured, you just hid the wound."

"But so what. My appearance is glamorous. Everyone will say that I am doing well. As time goes by, I will really think that I am doing well." Pei Yi said, "Jiang Yubai's illness is the same, he His depression may be cured, and under the effect of time, he will return to the crowd and become that dazzling existence."

Pei Shanqing acquiesced to everything he said, lowered his eyelashes and did not look at him, Pei Yi said: "You know it well, don't you? If you stay, the abnormal disease name will always be carried on him, no matter where you go Can't get rid of it anywhere."

The noon sun gradually moved behind the high-rise buildings, casting a shadow, and the temperature was no longer as hot as it was when we left. The breeze was blowing, and it was even bitingly cold.

"It was my fault."

After a long time, Pei Shanqing said softly.

"I know that I have the same fantasy as him, but I tolerate him step by step approaching me. I deserve death."

In the endless silence, Pei Shanqing suddenly knelt down in front of him, prepared to be beaten to death, and his firm voice echoed in the empty stairwell: "But, Dad, I must stay."

"I used to have the same concept as you, thinking that separation can make each other better, but now I find that I was completely wrong. Even if everyone in the world says he is sick, I have no right to condemn him."

Pei Yi's hands trembled, as if there were tens of thousands of catties of heavy stones on his shoulders, and it was difficult to even lift him up, while Pei Shanqing knelt on the floor, his voice becoming choked.

"Because the source of his illness, the source of his paranoia, was me from the beginning to the end."

Pei Shanqing lowered his head, tears fell silently, became dazzling under the refraction of the light, and finally turned into a small puddle on the ground.

"It's my wishful thinking. I'm not the light that can dispel the darkness for him at all." He said, "I can only be a dust that accompanies him to fall."

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The author has something to say:

In terms of tangled features, Pei Shanqing can be said to be an aboveboard resistance, and he will undoubtedly inherit [Bao Fist]

The knives are probably finished, those who haven’t been abused consciously go to my column to eat other knives, don’t force me to beg you! [pointing + akimbo]