love crazy love crazy

Q: What should I do if I feel lonely and can't fall asleep late at night?

The answer: Watch GV masturbation.

Question: What should I do if there is an unbearable excitement in the three inches below the dantian, and the feeling of being thin and pre-haired?

The answer is: body size.

Question: At this time, a naked|naked beautiful boy with blond hair and blue eyes fell from the sky and sat on your lap, what should you do?

The answer is: ... Don't dream, just wash up and sleep.

After the little brother spit out the last mouthful of "milk", he fell asleep peacefully in Zheng Zhi's left hand.

"At this time, you should wipe it with a paper towel." Zheng Zhi said to himself, moved his right hand but found that he couldn't move it at all, so he raised his head and sat on his lap and pressed his right hand, and glared at himself The bare|naked exotic beautiful boy blinked his eyes, although the beautiful boy still had the milk that his little brother accidentally spit up on his face.

Zheng Zhi turned his head to look at the wall clock on the wall, the pointer had already pointed to one o'clock in the morning: "It seems that I am indeed too sleepy, I have hallucinations, I should take a shower before going to bed."

After 3 minutes, "Brother, please stand up, you are too heavy, my hands are almost numb." Zheng Zhi said helplessly to the boy sitting on his lap.

"Bastard!!! How dare you say that I am heavy, don't you know that I am famous for being thin and small!" The young man's dissatisfaction with being ignored finally broke out, and he shouted at Zheng Zhi.

The boy who had finished yelling at Zheng Zhi turned his head to the side again, shrunk his shoulders, and muttered with a blush on his face: "Damn it, it's still in his face." He grabbed it and hung it up. Wipe your face with the shirt on the side.

"That's the shirt I'm going to wear in the interview tomorrow..." Zheng Zhi said, and I couldn't accept your sudden change of self-proclaimed from domineering old man to cute one.

The boy threw away his shirt and said nonchalantly, "Aren't you a rich second generation? Even if you don't have a job, won't your family still send you money regularly?"

Zheng Zhi picked up the semen-stained shirt and put it on the boy's bare shoulders, saying, "So you're here to beg for support?"

The boy froze, and then shouted at Zheng Zhi: "Bastard!!! How could I do such a shameless thing!"

"Then who are you, why did you suddenly show up at my house in the middle of the night without clothes?" Zheng Zhi asked, covering his aching ears.

The boy's expression softened slightly, he looked down at Zheng Zhi and said triumphantly, "I'm the one you have a crush on!"

My crush?Zheng Zhi stroked his chin and thought, I had a crush on Audrey Hepburn, but she died; I also had a crush on Marilyn Monroe, but she died too; um... Recently, during the Mid-Autumn Festival, I suddenly felt more like seeing Chang'e , but she is a mythical figure, but...

Zheng Zhi looked up again at the boy who appeared on his lap inexplicably, nodded and said, "You are the Jade Rabbit, I didn't expect the Jade Rabbit to be a male. You misunderstood, in fact, what I want to see is your sister Chang'e, not you. If it's convenient for you, you can call her down to see me, but you don't need to be naked, if it's inconvenient, forget it."

Zheng Zhi looked at the boy's eyes again and said, "Also, why are your eyes blue? Shouldn't the eyes of rabbits be red or black? Or are fairy rabbits different?"

"Bastard!!! Don't confuse me with those unscientific things! I am a high-end technology product developed by high-tech!"

"what?!"

The young man showed a proud face: "Please call me IPHONE4S-sama."

IPHONE4S? !It's unscientific for a mobile phone to become a human being, but... wait, where is the love madness I used to watch short movies on the bed?Zheng Zhi began to look around. Just now I was holding my little brother in my left hand and the phone in my right hand. Now there is a person sitting on my right hand.

Zheng Zhi looked at the boy in front of him in disbelief and said, "Could you be my mobile phone?"

The young man pointed at Zheng Zhiyi and said, "Please pay attention to your wording. I don't belong to anyone. I just saw that you were about to miss me, so I came to see you out of mercy."

Zheng Zhi looked at the young man showing an expression of coming to worship me, scratched his head and said, "Even if you are my mobile phone, why do you say that I have a crush on you?"

"You said it yourself that you fell in love with me."

Zheng Zhi asked in surprise: "Why don't I know!"

"It's you who said to me every day, 'I'm crazy about love, I'm dying of love', and you still said that to me today. You said in my ear all day long that those who love me are going crazy or dying, I I'm almost bored to death." The boy folded his hands on his chest and said with his head tilted to one side.

I think if it's not my lisp, it's this guy, no, the ear of the phone is not working.When I was looking for a mobile phone today, I obviously said "My Love Crazy 4s." Should I find a time to repair the handset of the mobile phone?Zheng Zhi was still very proud looking at his expression, but the boy with red ears thought.

"I think you misunderstood. I should have called you by your name, not to confess to you."

The boy said: "You don't have to quibble, my name is IPHONE4S [Note: Pure English, that is to say 4=FOUR]"

Zheng Zhi thought for a while and asked, "Is there a difference?"

The boy said: "Of course there is. It's the same difference as 'getting a base' and 'getting a few'."

"It's just the difference between the Chinese name and the American name. That's really your name."

"Nonsense, my Chinese name is - i mobile phone 4s."

If you don’t bring your own translation, Zheng Zhi thought helplessly: “Then what are you doing here?”

"I've said it all, I'm here to see you. I think you love me so much, so I decided to come and see you..." The boy's voice became softer as he spoke, his head gradually retracted into his shoulders, and then he glanced up Zheng Zhi, whose face suddenly turned red, punched like a gust of wind, and slammed into Zheng Zhi's face like lightning, shouting: "You bastard, you actually gave me a big shot at me when we met for the first time!"

Zheng Zhi was lying on the bed, covering his black eyes and thinking, if I am watching GV with love madness, I will give birth to a son with no ass eyes!

The next morning, Zheng Zhi woke up from the cold.

Zheng Zhi looked at the quilt under his feet and yawned. It seemed that his habit of kicking the quilt could not be changed.Then he saw the mobile phone of Ai Crazy wrapped in a pile of clothes beside the quilt, so he picked it up.Was that boy last night a dream?But that pile of clothes was indeed the clothes he found for the boy yesterday, forget it, maybe it was just sleepwalking.Zheng Zhi rubbed his eyes indifferently, hiss, it really hurts.

Standing in front of the mirror, Zheng Zhi looked at his black and blue eye sockets, and at the love madness in his hand.I didn't expect my sleepwalking to be so serious.

I casually threw the shirt stained with beige liquid into the bathtub to soak, put on a white T-shirt, put on a suit and stood in front of the mirror for a few poses. route, and then went to boil a few eggs, peeled them off...and put them on my face, I said there was an interview today.

Zheng Zhi took the egg and gently massaged around the eye sockets.Well, it's a bit cold, eat it and peel another one.At this time, a white and tender egg that had already been peeled was handed over, and Zheng Zhi took it and said, "Thank you."

The boy looked at Zheng Zhi with his chin in his hands and asked, "Does it still hurt?"

"It's okay..." Zheng Zhi replied, and then suddenly turned his head and looked at the boy in horror, "Why are you still here?!"

The young man looked at Zheng Zhi dissatisfied and said, "Is that why you don't want to see me?"

"No... why are you still naked!"

The young man glanced at Zheng Zhi strangely and said, "Didn't you put away the clothes you gave me yesterday, you have nothing to wear. But you got up so early today, you don't need me to call you."

Zheng Zhi looked at the boy's admiring eyes and asked, "Did you wake me up?"

"Yeah, you set the alarm clock on your mobile phone. Ringing ringing..."

"Okay, that's enough." Zheng Zhi raised his forehead, and he really couldn't imagine the electronic voice coming from the mouth of a beautiful boy: "But, what are you doing here?"

"It's rare for me to show up once. Naturally, I have to play for a few more days, so I have to stay at your house first, which is cheaper for you." The boy said with an expression of coming to thank me.

I bought you, if you are not in my house, who else are you in, Zheng Zhi stuffed an egg into his mouth and thought.

The boy went on to say: "So for a while, I will accompany you to the interview."

"No." Zheng Zhi flatly refused.

"Why, don't you always take me with you when you go there?"

"It's different."

"What's the difference."

"This is the difference between IPHONE4S [still in English] and Ai Crazy 4s."

……

In this way, the cohabitation life of one person, one machine officially kicked off.

The author has something to say: Please come in for the new pit, I hope there will not be too many shielded words... It is initially set to be updated every two days