love is hard to choose

This diary is a bit old and thick, and it contains his memories with Han Qi, memories exclusive to Han Qi.

Sunny Monday, September 2000, 6

Today is the day when I went to Han's company for an interview. Unexpectedly, I was admitted. At that time, one of the three chief examiners was very young and good-looking, but he gave people a very indifferent feeling. I didn't know who he was. I was very nervous watching him, so I didn't perform very well. I thought I would be eliminated, but I didn't expect that I was admitted.I got a very high position, assistant to the general manager, which I didn't expect. It turned out that the boy was the general manager.

I was abandoned by my parents and adopted by my grandma since I was a child. My grandma picked up the tatters and worked hard to support me in school. I studied hard and tried my best to do my best.After being admitted to university, I knew that I should be self-reliant. I endured the cold wave and ridicule of others through work-study, and finally completed my studies. However, my grandma and grandma died of illness before I could repay it. This is the regret of my life.Grandma will be happy if she knows that I have joined a big company.

Overcast on Wednesday, March 2000, 7

I have been working in the company for a period of time, and I got started quickly. The colleagues in the company are very kind to me. They ask me about the general manager every day, especially those little girls. They appear to be alive.I also heard from them that he took over the family business at the age of 19 with outstanding performance.But I'm a man, I can't express my love for him like those girls, sometimes I can only look at him secretly.

Today, he seems to be very tired, lying on the sofa in the office and fell asleep, I sneaked up to look at him, he is very beautiful, the long eyelashes are slightly curled, and the thin lips are tightly pressed, like this People must be very ruthless. Looking at him like this, I actually lowered my head and wanted to kiss him in a strange way. Just when my lips were about to touch him, his eyes opened, and I stepped back in fright. This is embarrassing. big.

"Do you like me?" He woke up and stared at me.I nodded stupidly, I will be fired now, how can there be homosexuality in the company, and I am still a homosexual who wants to get involved in the general manager.I was at a loss, but he actually looked at me and said, "Clean up and move in with me tonight." After he finished speaking, he stood up and left. I was dumbfounded all afternoon when I heard this sentence, and I just took the wrong documents. Several times, and almost poured coffee on him.

After work, he actually wanted to go home with me to move things. I was obsessed with listening to his instructions. His house is very big, which is incomparable to the place where my grandma and I live. It is like a palace here. He let me Sleeping with him, I walked into his room under the disdainful eyes of those servants. His room is just like his own, and the dark color matching makes people feel a little depressing.

At night I lay in bed uneasy, he came out of the shower, I thought something would happen, but nothing happened, he fell asleep lying on my side with his back against me, listening to his regular breathing, my nervous heart Putting it down, I took out the notebook I just bought and recorded everything that happened with him today.

Snow on Monday, December 2000, 12

Today is Christmas, there is light snow in the sky, Han Qi said that he would take me to a place, I am very happy, we have never had a real date.

He drove me to a strange place. It was a remote villa. Although it was snowing outside, the villa was a different scene. It was beautiful. It seemed that someone came to take care of it every day.He took me to the flower room, which is full of white tulips, and the faint fragrance surrounds the whole flower room. Although the tulips are beautiful, they always reveal a sense of melancholy.I like red roses, its fragrance is very strong, maybe I am such a layman, I will not understand the beauty of tulips.

Later we went into the building, where there were all tulips. It seems that the owner of this house likes tulips very much. I wanted to ask him whose house this is, but my intuition told me that he was very sad, so I didn’t say anything. , just as he walked from room to room, I came to the last room, which should be the bedroom. I saw a photo of him with another boy. The boy smiled sweetly. In the photo, Han Qi was looking at him gently. Looking at him, he is so delicate, how can he be comparable to a careless person like me.I turned my head and saw that Han Qi was looking at the photo intently. I felt that I was looking at him, and he also turned his head to look at me, but I felt that he was looking at another person through me.Neither of us spoke, and I wanted to escape due to the oppressive atmosphere, "Let's go." He broke the deadlock with a cold sentence, and stopped looking at me.

When I went back, I wanted to ask him who it was, but I didn’t have the courage. I knew he must be very irritable, because he was driving a bit unsteadily, and when he got home, he went to the study room and never came out. Rice was also scolded.

I don't know how to get along with him, I can't walk into his world, I'm a dispensable person to him, even if I feel sad as hell, but that's it, I still want to be with him for nothing beside him.

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