Confession

Lin Xu set the alarm for 06:30 in the morning. When he woke up, Jiang Yang was not by his side, and he was alone on the bed.

He rubbed his eyes sleepily, reached out to press the alarm clock, sat up slowly, lowered his head and continued to rub his eyes, the fine long hair fell from his cheeks, covering his slightly round face.

Lin Xu's depression has not fully recovered, and now he continues to take medicine, but the dosage is very small.

In the morning and evening, he is most likely to fall into a low mood and can't get out. There is no reason, he just can't lift his spirits. Wipe away tears.

At first Jiang Yang didn't know, but later he realized that Lin Xu's eyes were red a few times. From then on, even if he woke up in the morning, he would not be in a hurry to get up, and would accompany Lin Xu to pass the low tide for a while.

With Jiang Yang's company, we have already met. Xu changed the environment and became sensitive. It's not enough to be wrapped in Jiang Yang's breath, but I have to meet people.

The autumn morning was a bit cold, Lin Xu's perception was dull, as if he couldn't feel it, he just sat on the bed in a daze in his thin pajamas.

When Jiang Yang came in, seeing Lin Xu's dazed look, he walked over helplessly, wrapped him in a quilt, and scraped the tip of Lin Xu's nose, "I'm not afraid of catching a cold."

"...Where did you go?" Lin Xu asked in a low voice, his gaze was a little dull.

"Go to the toilet." Jiang Yang kissed his face, "It's still early, sleep a little longer? I'm right here, I won't leave."

Lin Xu reacted for two seconds, then shook his head and said, "Don't sleep anymore, I'm going to make breakfast for my uncle and aunt."

Jiang Yang was surprised, "Do you do it? How convenient it is to buy directly. There is a breakfast shop at the entrance of the community."

Lin Xu was warmed by Jiang Yang's arms, and he went to get the clothes at the end of the bed, "You can buy fried dough sticks and stuffed buns in front. I will cook millet porridge, and the soy milk can be squeezed with soybeans and a soymilk machine. Do you have the ingredients at home?"

"Should be," Jiang Yang was not sure, "Baby, are you really going to do it? It's only past six o'clock, so you can sleep a little longer."

Lin Xu had recovered from that bout of energy, his mood was stable, he put on his clothes neatly, and pulled Jiang Yang up, "Hurry up, come with me."

"Are you really going to do it?" Jiang Yang was very sleepy and yawned.

Lin Xu nodded, looking very serious, "Do it."

"Then what if there is no material at home?" Jiang Yang put on his clothes slowly.

"Go to the vegetable market to buy." Lin Xu pulled off the rubber band on his wrist, gathered his hair, and tied it loosely for the convenience of washing.

He spent 10 minutes washing and skincare, and then dragged Jiang Yang, who was halfway through wiping his face, into the kitchen.

The ingredients are all there, soy beans, mung beans, red dates, black rice and millet are all packed in small boxes to avoid insects.

Lin Xu was washing rice in the kitchen, and Jiang Yang went to the storage room to find a soybean milk machine.

Lin Xu did the whole process by himself and did not allow Jiang Yang to help.

Jiang Yang watched Lin Xu busy in and out cooking porridge and preparing side dishes, Jiang Yang was bored in every possible way, he could only play with his wife if he had nothing to play with.

Lin Xu was slicing the radish, and someone circled his waist. The young man hugged him from behind, put his chin on his shoulder, and kissed Lin Xu's neck.

"...Don't make trouble." Lin Xu felt itchy, and stopped moving his hands, "What if I cut my hands..."

"My wife is virtuous." Jiang Yang acted coquettishly, "You don't cook for me now."

Lin Xu smiled, "You can have breakfast."

"That's different." Jiang Yang bit Lin Xu's ear, and the tip of his tongue brushed over his ear hole, "This wasn't specially made for me. I'm not important to you anymore, so I won't cook a single meal."

"No way," Lin Xu fed Jiang Yang a shredded radish, "You are the most important."

"You still say no, you treat me like a dog? Just feed me some snacks and coax it." Jiang Yang's tone was not kind, and he still opened his mouth to eat it.

Lin Xu smiled, "You said, just be my big dog, and you forgot so soon?"

Jiang Yang put his hand into Lin Xu's clothes dishonestly, "Then you should be nice to the dog."

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"How can I treat you badly? I have always been responsive to you, you..."

While talking, the pot started to boil, Lin Xu hurriedly broke free, walked over to turn down the fire, stirred the pot for a while with a spoon, the aroma of millet wafted out, and it was soft and sticky.

"Is it ready?" Jiang Yang also came over to look at it, took a deep breath, "It smells so good, can I have a taste?"

Lin Xu scooped up a little with a spoon, blew on it twice, and brought it to Jiang Yang's mouth, "Be careful, it's hot."

Jiang Yang took a sip of porridge, smacked his lips, and sighed: "My wife's cooking is really delicious."

"Really?" Lin Xu tasted it himself, and thought it was really good.

The sky is gradually brightening, and the distant sky reveals a golden light, sweeping away the dark haze, and the duck-egg blue sky turns into a blue water color.

Lin Xu found an insulated lunch box in the kitchen, and filled it with soy milk in a thermos cup. It added jujubes, red beans, and peanuts. The squeezed soy milk was more nutritious and more fragrant than pure soybeans.

He made two cold dishes, shredded radish and pickled cucumber. Considering that Jiang's father was going to have an operation, he didn't put pepper in either.

They went out after seven o'clock with breakfast, bought fried dough sticks and steamed buns at the breakfast shop outside, and arrived at the hospital just at eight o'clock for dinner.

Jiang Yang took out the breakfast one by one and put it on the table. After his parents tasted the porridge and soy milk, he asked, "Is it delicious?"

Jiang's mother: "It's very good. The millet porridge is very fragrant, and the mixed vegetables are also good. Where did you buy it? I will go next time."

Jiang Yang said proudly: "Lin Xu got up at six o'clock to make it for you, this is the only family."

Jiang's father and Jiang's mother paused and looked at Lin Xu at the same time.

"Thank you for your hard work." Mother Jiang said, "Just go shopping, and you can sleep a little longer in the morning."

Lin Xu showed a shy smile, "It's just as long as uncle and aunt like it."

Jiang's father used to drink soy milk well, but when he heard that Lin Xu made it, he squirmed a little and wanted to put up the shelf, but he had always praised the soy milk as delicious, and now he can't hold the shelf anymore.

Jiang's mother glanced at Jiang's father, "Are you still drinking? After a while, I will check if I am hungry, but there is no food."

Father Jiang snorted coldly, and continued eating buns and drinking soy milk.

Lin Xu was also eating steamed stuffed buns. The steamed buns were filled with meat, and the corners of his mouth were stained with oil. Jiang Yang wiped it off with a paper towel after seeing it.

Lin Xu glanced at the two elders with a guilty conscience, and saw that they didn't say anything, so he felt at ease to enjoy Jiang Yang's intimacy with him.

After breakfast, the doctor told Jiang's father to go for a physical examination. Jiang Yang accompanied him, and Lin Xu naturally stayed behind to clean up the tableware with Jiang's mother.

"You two have a good relationship," Jiang's mother said, "Since Jiang Yang likes boys, we haven't seen him smile for a long time."

Lin Xu knew that Mother Jiang had something to say, so she didn't answer and listened quietly.

"It's against the rules for men to be together, and you won't have children." Jiang's mother held the tea that Lin Xu made for her, "You can't even get a marriage certificate when you're together, and you don't have any protection from the law. How far can you go?"

There is a cool breeze in the morning, the sun is pink and orange, blending with the blue sky, like the collision of peaches and blueberries, the dew moistens the soil, and the breath of green grass is refreshing.

Standing by the window, Lin Xu had a clean and handsome face, and his thin body was slightly thinner. As he brushed his hair behind his ears, the ring on his ring finger made his fingers more slender and beautiful.

In the secular world, long hair should not appear on boys, and only women have the right to have long hair.

But the length is not against Lin Xu's body, his hair has been trimmed, reaching to the shoulders, the ragged ends have a sense of design, and the shortest hair only reaches the cheeks, revealing a kind of elegance and timelessness on his body.

Lin Xu had an obvious sense of brokenness, but it was also mixed with alienation. The broken fragments erected a high wall, sealing off the inner world, making it impossible for people to pry into it.

Such a person is mysterious, and the vague alienation will arouse curiosity. He will not guard against death, and will retreat decisively after sensing the other party's intentions, keeping a distance, and only expose the weak points to the closest relatives. in front of people.

His eyes were transparent and bright, and there was a calm calm in them.

"Auntie, you're right," Lin Xu agreed with Jiang's mother's words, "We don't have a marriage certificate, no legal protection, and we don't even have a crystal that can connect with each other."

Mother Jiang nodded.

Lin Xu changed the topic, "But I don't think our relationship is fragile. To be honest, I can't answer any of the questions you asked, because these are indeed problems that we can't handle, but so what? As long as two When we are together, it doesn’t matter whether we have security or not, but with so many marriage certificates, can we really protect our relationship in the end?”

Mother Jiang: "Are you confident in your relationship?"

Lin Xu nodded, "I should have this confidence."

"I know my son best." Jiang's mother took a sip of tea lightly, "He loves to play by nature, and he is interested in many things on the spur of the moment. Why don't you think it's the same for you?"

Lin Xu pursed his lips, thought for a while, and asked sincerely: "Then you said this to want me to leave Jiang Yang?"

"Of course I still hope that my son can live a normal life." Jiang's mother said.

Lin Xu shook his head and said with a slight smile, "Unless Jiang Yang doesn't want me, I won't leave him. And I'm pretty sure that Jiang Yang won't want me."

During his most painful days, Jiang Yang resolutely chose to accompany him. In the days to come, there will only be happiness, and Jiang Yang will not leave.

Lin Xu was very sure of this.

"Are you so confident?" Mother Jiang asked, "He is my son. How long have you been together? Half a year?"

Mother Jiang asked very sharp questions, but her attitude was calm.

Lin Xu could feel that she didn't want to target him, but wanted an answer.

"Auntie, I won't give up on Jiang Yang. I'm sorry about this, but I can't let you enjoy family relationships like ordinary families." Lin Xu said sincerely, "I will honor you with Jiang Yang, my My parents have passed away for many years, I will respect you as my own parents, I hope you and uncle can promise me and Jiang Yang."

Mother Jiang watched Lin Xu silently, his earnestness appeared in her eyes.

After a long while, Mother Jiang laughed lowly, with a bitter mouth, "Not all families have a family relationship."

Lin Xu hesitated slightly.

"You must be wondering why our attitude has changed so quickly?" Mother Jiang asked.

Lin Xu nodded.

Mother Jiang looked down at the tea in the cup and said in a low voice, "One of my best friends, her son has passed away."

Lin Xu's pupils shrank slightly, and he froze for a moment.

"He also likes men. My friend strongly opposes it and has been fighting. We even exchanged our attitudes and ways of treating our son before." Jiang's mother's voice was very deep, revealing the vicissitudes of exhaustion, "They have always been better than us. It was too extreme and restricted her son's freedom, and her son also resisted with a hunger strike."

It's not uncommon for this kind of thing to happen in the gay circle. Fiction has filters, and when you take off your pretty clothes, the reality is always dripping with blood.

Lin Xu's heart was still tense when he heard this kind of thing. He probably thought of the suicide five years ago. He stroked the long scar on his wrist, and felt it was bumpy and painful for some reason.

"Then what happened afterwards?" Lin Xu heard his hoarse voice.

"They are planning to go abroad," Mother Jiang said in a low voice, "there was a car accident on the way."

Lin Xu's heart was suddenly tightened, and there was obvious discomfort, soreness and pain, like juice bursting.

The writer's mind is very delicate, and emotion is the basic ability. Seeing Jiang's mother's sad expression, he can completely think of the tragic situation of the couple.

Lin Xu had difficulty breathing, and his fingertips trembled.

This is one of the reasons why he paused writing, not all because of previous stimulation.

His emotional state is not good, he is easily caught in the story and cannot get out, which is not beneficial to the recovery of depression.

Lin Xu picked up the water glass and drank a couple of sips, his palms sweating.

"We were scared the moment we got the news," Mother Jiang sighed, "No matter what, it's good that people are fine, and there is hope only when people are alive, and they are completely gone when they are gone."

Mother Jiang looked up at Lin Xu, "So let Jiang Yang do whatever he wants. His father and I are getting older, and we can't control many things. As long as we are safe and sound, the most important thing. Right, Xiaoxu ?”

Lin Xu twitched the corners of his mouth, smiled gently, and his eyes were clear, "Yes, auntie, don't worry, I will take good care of Jiang Yang. We are each other's lovers, and even family members who will accompany me for the rest of my life."