Confession

At lunch time, Jiang Yang sat down beside Xiaowen with the meal in his hand, and asked for advice, "Sister Xiaowen, I have something to ask you."

Xiaowen mixed the rice in the bowl, stuffed it into her mouth, and said vaguely, "What?"

"Will you feel offended when you meet your old classmates and talk about things in school?" Jiang Yang thought for a while and added, "The kind of private things that the classmates don't know about."

Ah Liang bought the meal and brought it over, and sat down next to Jiang Yang, "What? You offended others by asking Lin Xu about his past private affairs?"

Xiaowen's eyes flashed with gossip.

"...No." Jiang Yang explained calmly, "It's just... a friend of mine."

Xiaowen sneered, "My friend's meme is almost used up, can you use another excuse?"

"..." Jiang Yang pursed his lips and lowered his head to eat.

A Liang said leisurely: "I don't know if it's someone else, but if it's someone with Lin Xu's personality..."

He deliberately paused, and sure enough, he saw Jiang Yang raised his head and waited for the next sentence.

Xiaowen: "You still said it's not Teacher Lin."

Jiang Yang became angry from embarrassment: "Yes, yes!"

"Mr. Lin looks like a person with a sense of distance. He should be very private." Xiaowen didn't make fun of him, and analyzed it seriously.

Jiang Yang looked at A Liang.

"Lin Xu is indeed a very private person, and I feel that way." A Liang said unhurriedly, "If he doesn't want to mention it, it's because he doesn't want to, otherwise he will share it with you."

Jiang Yang wondered: "Isn't it normal for a classmate to meet, recall the past, and ask him about his life? Don't you talk to your classmate when you meet?"

A Liang said, "You seem to be from the same school? You call him senior."

"Ah."

"Since you are not classmates, you don't know much about his life and studies, so naturally you have nothing to talk about." A Liang said, "Whether you do it deliberately or not, you will have a feeling of prying into privacy."

Jiang Yang sighed, "Then what should we do?"

The first time the two of them sat down for a meal, they were offended.

He opened WeChat and took a look at the message. Lin Xu's dialogue box was quiet, and he sent five or six messages without replying.

It's not like I didn't see it, after all, it's been a morning.

Ah Liang didn't think it was a big deal when he watched the excitement: "I will solve the mess I made by myself."

Jiang Yang was depressed and chewed the meat vigorously.

"Oh, by the way, "Sunset Galaxy" is about to be screened." A Liang took out two tickets, "They mailed the tickets to the studio, and asked me to bring them to you. Go and see it, just as a break. "

Jiang Yang's eyes fell on the ticket, thoughtful.

·

The environment of the consultation room is spacious and bright, with simple decoration, a set of sofas, a coffee table, and a small bookcase, which contain various types of reading materials.

The white walls and the blue-yellow furniture tone give people a refreshing and pleasant feeling, and the air is filled with a comfortable light floral fragrance.

Lin Xu was wearing a light blue shirt with a pair of jeans, which was very fresh.

He sat quietly on the sofa and read a book, his pupils were dilated and did not fall into place.

The broken hair on the forehead fell on the eyebrows, adding some softness to the cold temperament, and the thick eyelashes couldn't stop the indifference in the pupils, his face was abnormally pale, and there was a slight bruise under his eyes, and he looked restless good look.

When Zhao Xiwen walked in, he saw such a scene. It was obviously a very quiet and artistic scene, but in his eyes, it was lonely and decadent.

"Hi, long time no see," Zhao Xiwen greeted and poured Lin Xu a glass of water.

Lin Xu's distracted eyes focused on the magazine, he raised his head to meet Zhao Xiwen's gaze, and took the water: "Thank you."

Zhao Xiwen sized up Lin Xu, sat down on the single sofa beside him, and said with a smile, "Not bad, finally willing to throw away the yellowed T-shirt you washed? You are getting better and better."

Lin Xu shook his head, "I'm not fine at all."

Zhao Xiwen stared at him, waiting for the next sentence.

"I had a meal with Jiang Yang yesterday." Lin Xu said.

Zhao Xiwen was a little surprised, "Isn't this great? No wonder you dressed up, when did you meet again?"

Lin Xu didn't smile, his face became paler, and a trace of panic flashed in his eyes, "The day before yesterday. From yesterday's conversation, I discovered that my memory of him was wrong."

Zhao Xiwen: "How to say?"

"I told you before that he was in a relationship and had a girlfriend."

"Yes."

"But yesterday he told me that he realized he was gay when he was very young, and he had never had a girlfriend before." Lin Xu's emotions were suddenly agitated, and his suppressed emotions could finally be revealed without any worries, his voice trembling, The water in the paper cup was shaking, "Yesterday, I sent messages to some college classmates who knew Jiang Yang, and they all told me that Jiang Yang had never had a girlfriend."

[School of Design-Han Bin: Jiang Yang once had a relationship in college, and everyone knows that he is gay.Didn't you know that too? 】

[School of Foreign Languages-Luo Zifeng: He's gay.no?you do not know?It's not a secret, you should know, right?He has never kept it a secret. Before we had dinner, many male students from other departments joined him. Aren't you all there? 】

[Liu Yanxing: Girlfriend?How is it possible, he is gay.Men and women eat this kind of thing... I don't think Jiang Yang can do it. He is very popular and looks like a scumbag, but his relationship is clear. I have a buddy who is in the same class as Jiang Yang. He said that Jiang Yang never messed up. Engage]

Lin Xu had a severe headache, feeling that his brain was being torn into two halves, all the false and real in the past were blurred, the colorful colors that belonged to Jiang Yang were swallowed by the dark vortex, the picture turned from gray to white, and then was smudged by ink, The outline of the boy turned completely into pitch black.

"Uh..." Lin Xu bowed his back in a collapsed state, covering his face with his hands, his breathing was rapid, his temples throbbed, and he felt like he was drowning.

Zhao Xiwen comforted him: "Don't get excited, calm down."

"I don't think I can calm down," Lin Xu said in a trembling voice, "How do you tell me to calm down? Dr. Zhao... If my memory of Jiang Yang is wrong, then what else is real? Knowing what's real and what's not. I don't even suspect it's all a dream, even I'm fake."

Lin Xu raised his head, his eyes were red, his eyes were fragile and blank, "I feel like I'm dead, this is not the real world from beginning to end."

Zhao Xiwen sat beside him, patted his shoulder, and said with a smile, "Do you need me to pinch you again?"

Lin Xu took a deep breath, closed his eyes, "Doctor Zhao, I'm telling you seriously."

"I'm also telling you seriously." Zhao Xiwen's voice was mellow and gentle, with a comfortable sense of trust, "Don't doubt it, it's true, you are true, and so am I."

Speaking of this, he paused, and said softly: "At least, it's true that you were betrayed by your friends, the cyber violence is true, and your parents died, right?"

Lin Xu's brows were tightly furrowed, his temples were wet with sweat, and he couldn't speak after bursts of dizziness. Those memories made his heart beat faster and made him feel nauseous.

Zhao Xiwen patted him on the back, his big warm hands seemed to comfort him, "Calm down, don't put too much pressure on him. Your illness has recovered long ago, and you are the one who puts pressure on yourself. For the memory point You don't have to worry, the past is over, you don't have to imply anything to yourself, be calm."

Lin Xu didn't speak, only his heavy breathing was in the consulting room.

Zhao Xiwen didn't say anything more, and waited quietly for him to calm down.

After a while, Lin Xu asked hoarsely, "How should I be calm?"

"Don't worry about the past, think about the future." Zhao Xiwen said gently, "Didn't you and Jiang Yang meet again? Since you like meeting and getting along with him, then stay with him more."

He took out two tissues and handed them to Lin Xu, motioning him to wipe off his sweat, "To be honest, although your mood is very unstable now, this meeting is the best I think after you stopped taking the medicine."

Lin Xu calmed down a bit, took a sip of water, and laughed at himself, "My memory is all messed up, what should I do?"

"Your memory has been confused before. What you can't accept is that your memory of Jiang Yang is confused again." Zhao Xiwen said, "After all, you survived by relying on your memory of him."

Lin Xu nodded, his hands and feet were cold, and his face was still pale.

Zhao Xiwen is someone who knows all about Lin Xu's past. As a psychiatrist, he can accurately grasp the patient's psychology and thoughts.

Zhao Xiwen continued: "I am not surprised that you have this situation. I thought of it when I found out that your memory was confused, but I didn't bring it up. This is not a sign of relapse. The psychological test just now is normal. You Don't worry."

Lin Xu let out a breath, pressed the space between his eyebrows wearily, "Then what should I do?"

Zhao Xiwen smiled, "Since you like Jiang Yang, then spend more time with him. It doesn't matter what happened in the past, you can take the initiative to create some memories that belong to you."

Lin Xu pursed his lips and clasped his palms unconsciously.

Zhao Xiwen noticed Lin Xu's movements, filled the glass with water, and put it in his hand, "I just said, this time I saw you in the best condition in the past five years, and you started to know how to dress yourself up. From a psychological point of view, only when a person is in a good mood will he care about his image. When you think about the worst state before, have you ever considered your appearance? When I went to your house, it was like a dump. When you're better, go to the signing in your pajamas."

Lin Xu finally raised his head and asked hesitantly, "I'm really... in good shape?"

"Please believe in my major?" Zhao Xiwen smiled, "Apart from your anxiety, everything is fine."

"But I... still suffer from insomnia, heart palpitations, lack of interest in things, and don't like to go out..."

"Buzz -- buzz --" the phone on the sofa vibrated.

Lin Xu picked it up and saw that it was a WeChat call from Jiang Yang.

He was a little surprised and glanced at Zhao Xiwen.

Zhao Xiwen understood, and walked to the window with his teacup.

Lin Xu answered the phone: "...Hello?"

Jiang Yang heard Lin Xu's voice a little hoarse, "Senior, are you still sleeping? Did I disturb you?"

"No." Lin Xu cleared his throat, "I'm working outside."

"Oh, no wonder I didn't reply to your WeChat." Jiang Yang smiled, "Are you free on the weekend? I want to ask you to watch a movie."

"I'm doing business outside, and the message on my phone is set to silent..." Lin Xu was surprised, "Watching...a movie?"

"That's right, are you free? It's anime, I don't know if you can watch it or not?"

"Available! Let me see." Lin Xu immediately agreed, "What time?"

"Eight o'clock in the evening," Jiang Yang smiled, and his low magnetic voice reached Lin Xu's ears along the receiver, "Then we have an appointment, we will go together then."

Lin Xu's ear canals were numb, his cheeks were hot, his Adam's apple rolled, and he agreed softly: "Okay."

After hanging up the phone, Lin Xu quickly opened WeChat, and sure enough, he saw the WeChat message from Jiang Yang.

[Yang: Senior, I'm sorry, I shouldn't ask about the past, I didn't want to pry into your privacy]

[Yang: Thank you for the treat last night, when do you have time?Please come back [Happy]]

[Yang: Senior?Are you still up? 】

[Yang: Are you angry if you ignore me? [sad]】

[Yang: [Xiugou is wronged.jpg]]

【Yang: Are you coming today? 】

Lin Xu pursed his lips and lowered his head to reply the message.

"Is it Jiang Yang?" Zhao Xiwen asked.

Lin Xu looked at him: "How do you know?"

Zhao Xiwen handed the phone to Lin Xu, on it was a picture of him just when he was on the phone.

The person in the photo has soft brows and eyes, a smile on the corner of the mouth, a radiant look, and sparkles in the eyes. The whole person has become more energetic, and the paleness on his face has been diluted.

Lin Xu was stunned, looked at it seriously, and was sure it was him.

Zhao Xiwen slid his finger and flipped to the next page. It was him bowing his head to answer the message. The smile on the corner of his mouth widened, and he could see his white teeth, and his eyebrows and eyes were curved.

"He is still your light." Zhao Xiwen said with a smile, "Go to him, he will lead you out of the shadows and embrace the warm sun."