Confession

Thinking of Jiang Yang's taste, Lin Xu ordered most of the hot and sour dishes. Considering that he needs to use his voice for work, the taste tends to be light. There are only two special spicy dishes of the restaurant.

"You don't eat spicy food?" Jiang Yang asked amusedly, and poured Lin Xu a glass of ice water.

Lin Xu breathed with his mouth slightly open to relieve the hot pain in his mouth, and a layer of sweat broke out from the tip of his nose, "I just eat less."

Jiang Yang helped him pick up some light vegetarian dishes, "In summer, you should eat more spicy food, and sweat to expel the heat and humidity."

Damp-heat is the term of traditional Chinese medicine. When dampness stagnates in the body and the spleen and stomach are not adjusted, it will affect the health of the body. There will be thick tongue coating, loss of appetite, fever and thirst, and some of them will be exposed on the skin. The most obvious example is eczema.

Nowadays, young people who have a cold or a fever can take some granules or capsules. Traditional Chinese medicine focuses on health care. The effect is slow and long-lasting, and the key medicine is very bitter.Therefore, young people seldom pay attention to it, and generally those who choose traditional Chinese medicine are middle-aged and elderly people.

Lin Xu has written a book about doctors, and he has a good understanding of Chinese medicine, but Jiang Yang is the first one who can raise dampness and heat in his 20s.

"You still know Chinese medicine?" Lin Xu was a little surprised.

Jiang Yang said casually: "My dad is a die-hard fan of Chinese medicine. He used to take me to see Chinese medicine and drink Chinese medicine when I was sick. He listened to his health every day, and I learned a little bit over time."

Speaking of this, he raised his eyes to look at Lin Xu, and became a little interested, "I remember that you seem to have written a book about Chinese medicine? It's called... "Hundred Medicine Jian"?"

Lin Xu was even more surprised: "Have you seen it?"

... How many articles has he read himself?

Lin Xu swallowed dryly, feeling ashamed and panicked at the same time.

When he was in college, he had extremely high demands on himself, and if he did not write to his satisfaction, he would never publish it.

But not now. He writes more to vent his emotions. Interesting characters are used as an aid. When he learns about those unfamiliar professions, he will devote himself to them and forget his troubles for a short time.

To be honest, although Lin Xu has written books for so many years, almost every book has become popular, but none of them are works that satisfy him.

He knows very well that he has long lost his aura and ingenuity in writing. Novels are just a channel for him to vent. He relies on writing, so writing has made him a success.

Therefore, when he found out that Jiang Yang understood his works, he was more terrified than happy.

——As if Jiang Yang could see through those words to see through his embarrassing body.

Jiang Yang smiled and said: "I've read it a little bit. Under the influence of my dad, I was very interested in Chinese medicine for a while. At that time, I saw that book on the male channel, so I clicked in and read it. I didn't read much. It seems to be Is your only novel with a big hero?"

Lin Xu nodded, and heaved a sigh of relief when he heard Jiang Yang say that he didn't watch much.

He was very contradictory, hoping that Jiang Yang could understand him and read every novel he wrote, but at the same time praying that he would never do so.

"Senior, speaking of this book, I think I should read it when I go back." Jiang Yang said with a smile, "Although I haven't read much, I have a deep impression. I remember... the hero likes to eat sour like me? The scene where he tried the drug himself blew me away."

"..." Lin Xu smiled awkwardly, drinking from a water glass.

"And your book "Light and Shadow". The reason why I like it the most is because I think Gong is very similar to me."

"..."

See, there is a reason to pray.

Lin Xu was thinking about how to explain the similarity between the attacks in his pen and Jiang Yang, when he heard Jiang Yang say——

"Gong has his own dreams and ambitions, but he succumbs to the pressure of his family time and time again. This is...very real."

Jiang Yang still had a smile on his face, and he spoke very easily, his tone didn't change as if he was chatting, but Lin Xu noticed his pause.

Lin Xu was afraid of offending the other party, so he asked cautiously: "You... the family put pressure on you?"

Jiang Yang said indifferently: "They wanted me to take the civil service exam before. I didn't like it. I chose my favorite major without telling them. I was so angry that I wanted to sever ties with me."

Lin Xu's pupils shrank slightly, his face was calm, and his heart was filled with waves.

He always thought that with a sunny and cheerful personality like Jiang Yang, the family must be very happy and there would be no pressure or hindrance.

He could sense the bitterness behind Jiang Yang's smile, the helplessness and pressure hidden in little-known places.

"Parents are like this. Using their experience, under the banner of being good for their children, they willfully interfere in life and want us to live in the way they want." Lin Xu looked into Jiang Yang's eyes and comforted him unskillfully, "I admire you."

"Envy me?" Jiang Yang laughed, "Why? I have nothing to envy."

Lin Xu said seriously: "Under the pressure of your family, you can live a carefree life and do whatever you want, which is much better than..."

He wanted to say that he was better than many gays, but he felt a little offended, so he changed his words: "Better than many of his peers."

Jiang Yang sneered and said, "Thank you senior for the compliment, but I can live as I want because they don't care about me at all, and wish they didn't have my son."

Lin Xu vaguely guessed, "You..."

"I came out to them," Jiang Yang said nonchalantly, "Before being a civil servant, they wanted me to apply for a major in finance. Later, I studied broadcasting and hosting. They didn't know what to do, so they let me take the civil servant examination, so that I can please my wife in the future. , I simply confessed to them that I like men."

Lin Xu was stunned, apparently unable to react from such a large amount of information.

The memory during college made him always think that Jiang Yang was bisexual. Although he would fall in love with men, he would at least leave himself a way out.

But according to what he meant, there was no such thing at all, and instead he cut his own way.

"What's the matter?" Seeing Lin Xu in a daze, Jiang Yang picked up a piece of braised pork for him, "Think I'm too rebellious?"

Lin Xu shook his head, his voice dry, "You... just tell your parents that you like men, so you're not afraid that you won't be able to return to a normal life in the future?"

"What is a normal life?" Jiang Yang was inexplicable, chewing ribs in his mouth, and said vaguely: "I have liked men since I was a child, and I have never felt that my life is abnormal. Why should I care about the prejudices of the world?"

"You have liked men since you were young?" Lin Xu's eyes widened, his voice raised, "Didn't you have a girlfriend in college?"

Jiang Yang frowned, and spat out the bones on the plate, "When have I ever talked about a girlfriend? I'm gay, how could I talk about a girlfriend? At that time, I was exhausted from fighting with my family, drinking and singing with my classmates was already my The biggest way to decompress, I don't have the energy to fall in love..."

He smiled wryly, quite helplessly, "It seems that you really misunderstood me a lot. I only fell in love once in college, in my sophomore year. You can ask your classmates about this. How can you not date like you said? Girlfriend, am I not delaying others?"

"..." Lin Xu's face turned pale, a chill ran up his back, and his body was covered with cold sweat.

how can that be possible?

He clearly remembered that Jiang Yang had a relationship in college, and he clearly saw Jiang Yang and his girlfriend laughing and talking about making trouble.

He could see clearly, how could he not? !

Lin Xu was short of breath, his temples throbbed sharply, and there was a sharp pain from his peripheral nerves, as if he had been pricked by countless small needles. This long-lost headache made him panic, his heart beat faster, and his palpitations were so intense that his hands went numb.

The chopsticks slipped from his hands and made a crisp sound on the ground.

Jiang Yang restrained the usual smile on his face, "Senior, what's wrong with you?"

"I...I'm going to the bathroom." Lin Xu fled in a panic after dropping these words.

Lin Xu rushed to the bathroom, even ignoring people he bumped into. A strange light flashed in front of his eyes, messy memories flashed in front of his eyes, the colorful picture turned into black and white fragments, and the face of the girl standing beside Jiang Yang became distorted. The fragments were torn apart again, and Jiang Yang was also blurred.

The strong stream of water rushes at him, he bends down to wash his face by the sink, pouring cold water on his face repeatedly, forcing himself to calm down, the ringing in his ears isolates him from the outside world, and immerses himself in this messy world. world.

After a while, Lin Xu stopped his movements, leaned on the sink and gasped for breath, his back felt cold, and it was very uncomfortable to press against his back.

He raised his head, the drops of water on his face flowed down crazily, wet the neckline, and the light hit his face, his face was pale, his lips were bloodless, his eyes were empty and lifeless, the headache relieved a little after being stimulated by the cold water , My thoughts are rolling like a ball of yarn, and I can't stop.

Lin Xu's memory is not good, and he can't remember many things in the past, but he has always been very sure that he can remember everything about Jiang Yang clearly, which is one of the few colors in his gloomy memory.

But Jiang Yang denied his memory and told facts that had nothing to do with it.

At this moment, Lin Xu felt that he was back to five years ago, unable to find the end of the thread in the ball of yarn, even though the world was a mess, confused and cut.

——If he can't even remember Jiang Yang's things correctly, what other things in his memory are correct?

Lin Xu felt chills, dizzy, and his self in the mirror was distorted and blurred.

When he went back, he saw Jiang Yang pushing the door out, and the two met each other outside the private room.

"I was going to find you," Jiang Yang observed Lin Xu's expression, "Senior, are you alright?"

The corner of Lin Xu's mouth curled slightly, and he said in a harsh voice, "It's okay, let's eat."

Jiang Yang served him a bowl of soup, "Stop talking about me, let's talk about you. Senior, how have you been these few years?"

"..."

Before Lin Xu could answer, Jiang Yang sneered, "Aren't I asking nonsense, you are so successful in writing articles, and you have published various copyrights one after another, it must be good."

"..." Lin Xu didn't answer, and sipped the soup in silence.

Jiang Yang noticed that Lin Xu's mood was not high, and his overall state was not as it was just now, so he took the initiative to stir up the topic and adjust the atmosphere, "When you suddenly dropped out of school, we all guessed that something happened to you, and we couldn't get in touch with you. You, I asked Guo Shule, he said..."

With a "bang", the spoon fell heavily into the bowl.

Jiang Yang's voice stopped abruptly, looking at Lin Xu with an ugly face, surprise and deep meaning flashed in his eyes, "Senior, you..."

"It's nothing, let's eat, I have to go back to revise the script tonight." Lin Xu said in a low voice, his thick eyelashes were drooping, blocking his expression, the light and shadow left fan-shaped shadows on his eyelids, it was obvious in the coldness Suddenly.

Jiang Yang stared at him intently for a while, with a deep meaning of inquiry in his eyes, and then smiled peacefully: "Okay, let's eat, let's not talk about the past."

The atmosphere at the back was not as pleasant as it was at the beginning. Lin Xu was relatively silent, and Jiang Yang was mostly talking. His voice was very nice, and listening to him was a kind of enjoyment.

Lin Xu's mood gradually stabilized, and he would pick up some interesting topics when he heard them, and the conversation went smoothly. There was no difference in appearance, except that his eyes were not as bright and energetic as before.

After eating, they went home together, when Lin Xu opened the door to go back to the house, Jiang Yang stopped him.

Seeing the door open, Lele jumped out excitedly, wagging her tail at Lin Xu's feet.

Lin Xu touched Lele's head, turned around and replied, "Why?"

"I'm very happy to have dinner with you today. After all, we haven't seen each other for so long." Jiang Yang smiled, showing his white and neat teeth, looking like a spring breeze.

Lin Xu's heart warmed up, "Well, me too."

Jiang Yang continued: "I may have been unreasonable before. I asked you about some past events. If you feel offended, I apologize to you."

"No," Lin Xu said, "You are too polite."

"That's good. I didn't see you smiling later, so I thought you were angry." Jiang Yang heaved a sigh of relief, and opened the door of his room, "Are you going to the studio tomorrow?"

Lin Xu said unsurely, "It should be..."

Jiang Yang bent down and rubbed Lele, "See you tomorrow then."

After entering the room, Lin Xu slid against the door and sat on the ground exhausted. Overwhelmed, he took off his disguise mask, inserted his fingers into his hair, and pulled his scalp vigorously. He wanted to relieve the deep pain in his brain, and his breathing became more and more urgent.

Lele felt that something was wrong with Lin Xu, and sat next to him with her head against him, looking very dependent.

After a while, Lin Xu finally moved. He fumbled for the cell phone in his pocket, rummaged through the communication for a while, and dialed the number of "Doctor Zhao".