dare to love

The memory is getting more and more blurred, Chen Wei can't remember most of the things about him and Su Shikang, and some of the more formal ones just have a vague outline.

But even if they can't remember every little bit when they were together, the love in their hearts is real.

Chen Wei clearly knew how much he loved him.

Now that the words have been spoken, it is impossible for Chen Wei to pretend that nothing happened and hide it.He has been trying to figure out Su Shikang's hobbies these two days, what he likes, and what gifts he would be happy to give him.

So later he would turn his head to look at him generously, and sometimes he would turn his head back during class and copy Su Shikang's math homework with his head stretched out.

Su Shikang slapped his homework book on the forehead and ordered: "Turn around."

So during that time, the most Su Shikang said that Chen Wei listened to was turn around, look at the blackboard, don't look at me.

But Chen Wei has always been thick-skinned, and never obeyed his orders.

It's gradually getting into summer, and the time goes by, and the day when they parted is getting closer and closer every day. Chen Wei doesn't know how to wake up from this nightmare.

The sun was just right that evening, Chen Wei played with Su Shikang and the others, but for some reason, he often played basketball with them when he was a teenager, but his physical fitness was weaker than when he was a teenager, and he couldn't breathe easily , If you exercise too much, you will feel suffocated. After he finished shooting an outside line, he suddenly bent down and fell down.

Sweat trickled down his face and wet his shirt.

"Chen Wei!"

He opened his eyes, and Su Shikang reached out to support him.

"..."

"Wake up!"

Feeling dizzy, Chen Wei barely opened his eyes, and saw Su Shikang hugging him, looking at him worriedly.

"I……"

"Why did you faint? Is it very hot?" Su Shikang stretched out his hand to cover him from the sun, "It's not summer yet, so it's impossible to get heatstroke?"

"..."

Chen Wei smelled the familiar scent on his body, and while he didn't know how to speak, he was unwilling to get up at the same time.

He reached out and grabbed Su Shikang's sleeve, and began to shake it, "I'm dizzy, I can't breathe."

"Hiss—" Su Shikang let go of him, crossed his arms after confirming that he could stand upright, and interrogated him, "Are you touching porcelain?"

Chen Wei immediately retorted: "No!"

Regarding his dizziness and bad heart, he also secretly went to the hospital to see him. The doctor gave him various ECG, CT, and MRI examinations. It took him nearly a thousand to find out what was wrong. The conclusion he gave was that he was sleeping less. ,Too hard.

Chen Wei listened to the doctor talking about this and that, and nodded, as if he was listening to nonsense.

But he himself knew that there seemed to be something wrong with his body, and it wasn't because of lack of sleep at all.

Chen Wei felt that there was not much time left for himself. These days, he dug out a piece of blue congratulatory paper from a drawer in the dormitory. He thought it was cheap and familiar, so he didn't think much about it, so he just took a pen and wrote on it.

"Shikang, I don't know if you still remember the question you asked me last time, when you said you loved me clearly, I can't answer this question because I don't remember it myself, maybe I What accident really happened during the winter vacation that year, maybe what you said was just a dream of mine, but I believe the feeling is not wrong, we don’t talk about the future, we don’t talk about us at that time, at least for now, I It is clear that I like you..."

He wrote a lot of eloquently, but his style of writing is still the same as before, not changing at all.

At the graduation ceremony, he stuffed the paper into Su Shikang's math book.

Su Shikang will leave soon, he has passed the physical examination, and after he leaves, there will be no one in Pengchenghe who can hold him by his side.

Alone, without care.

Can go far to shine.

Xie Hengdong prepared a farewell party for him, and sang pop songs one after another, until his voice became hoarse and he refused to stop.

Another thing I forgot to mention is that Xie Hengdong is also different from the dream, he didn't wait for the graduation ceremony, he agreed to Lu Xiaoting in the first semester of the third year of high school, and took the initiative to walk towards her.

So he wasn't too surprised or concerned about what happened to Chen Wei and Su Shikang.

When the farewell party was coming to an end, Su Shikang drank too much wine, and he played a slow-paced folk song with the guitar Xie Hengdong brought over.

It's like a poem, with fingers clasped on the strings, the song has exhausted the romance in his bones.

He smiled happily, and when everyone sent him off sadly, he left happily. He had no regrets.

But Chen Wei is different. He feels that his heart is never more uncomfortable than it is now, and his heart rate is beating faster and faster. He looks at him obsessively. Although he can't remember many things, he clearly remembers whether Su Shikang is right. Good at playing these instruments.

He didn't dare to drink, he was afraid that if he drank while his heart was extremely uncomfortable, he would die suddenly in the next second.

At the end of the song, Chen Wei came to Su Shikang's side. He looked at him and said, "I'll take you home."

Su Shikang raised his eyes, his pupils contained the wetness of drunkenness.

Chen Wei looked at him, feeling that this scene was extremely familiar, and he felt that Su Shikang should just kiss him while drunk.

But Su Shikang didn't, he took out the blue greeting paper from his pocket, and presented it to Chen Wei, with a smiling face, he couldn't tell whether he was happy or absurd.

"You wrote it?"

Although the name was written on it, he asked again.

Chen Wei said nothing, expressing his acquiescence.

"Shi Kang, I..."

"Don't write next time." Su Shikang returned the congratulatory paper to his palm, smiled helplessly, "There will be no chance next time."

"..."

Chen Wei just stood there in a daze.

"I've made it very clear between us."

"..."

"Chen Wei, stop here, I won't like you."

"Don't waste your time."

"..."

Stiff and dead.

Chen Wei wanted to ask, what are you talking about.

But Su Shikang made it so clear.

"so what?"

Chen Wei smiled, but his eyes became brighter and his pupils were crystal clear, "In this case, you should have read all this letter, right? I don't remember the past, but I still like you."

"Shi Kang, I like you, I really..."

"But that's not me." Su Shikang stared at him, "Dream should wake up Chen Wei, I won't be with you."

He felt that Chen Wei was outrageous, he had made it clear to him last time, but he was still stalking him, what a ridiculous dream he had, what did they both do in the dream, and to what extent.

But Chen Wei has mixed feelings at this moment, his heart is complicated, and he can't tell what he feels, neither sadness nor anger.

Su Shikang is right, but what do you mean it's not him, and what do you mean don't waste your efforts in vain?

Memories came flooding back again, Chen Wei thought of the years that had been waiting for him, and the years since they were together, how could it be possible to say nothing for so many years?

He was not reconciled, he felt that something had to be done.

The time is wrong, the person is wrong, since they are all wrong, why should he pretend to be a gentleman?

Chen Wei really felt that there was no need for him to be gentle, he had already scared Su Shikang, didn't he?

Then in this absurd dream, be a madman.

"Shikang..."

Chen Wei clasped Su Shikang's wrist. He smiled, but tears flowed down his face unknowingly, "Think about it carefully, you must have lost a memory."

"..."

He pushed Su Shikang on the sofa in the box, Su Shikang's face was already pale with fright, because Chen Wei's appearance like this was terrifying, as if he had changed into a different person.

Su Shikang gritted his teeth and said, "What do you make me think? Have you watched too many romance movies? Let go!"

"Shikang..."

Chen Wei squeezed his chin and forced him to look at him, "Think about it carefully, you obviously like me too."

"Don't make me do it."

"Then you do it."

Chen Wei looked into his eyes, and he was hanging there, "You can do anything to me."

"..."

He closed his eyes, lowered his head, and touched his lips...

Suddenly there was a "snap", and there was a burning pain on Chen Wei's face, Su Shikang pushed him away, his face was already red with anger.

"Chen Wei, I didn't expect you to be so crazy."

"I'm not crazy!" Chen Wei said harshly, "I can't help it!"

"Tell me..." Chen Wei pressed him against the wall and locked his hands, "How can I tell you that you will believe that it's not a dream, Shi Kang, these days I... miss you I'm going crazy... If you keep treating me like this, I'm really going to die..."

"What about you?" Su Shikang broke away from him, "Then you are forcing me too?"

"I……"

Chen Wei recalled that Su Shikang had always been soft rather than tough.

"I do not have!"

Su Shikang saw that the terrifying desire in Chen Wei's eyes had gone down a lot, and said, "You still say no?"

"..."

So Chen Wei buried his face into Su Shikang's shoulder again, and Su Shikang let him lean on him in a daze, Chen Wei's tears had already soaked his clothes.

"Shi Kang, Shi Kang..."

He strangled Su Shikang's waist and hugged him tightly, "If you really don't like me, then you can kiss me, and you won't be able to see me after you leave. Anyway, you will marry a chief I don't know about my daughter."

Chen Wei let go of him again, and his voice became extremely gentle again, even looking a little pitiful: "You just kiss this."

"..."

"Just bear with me this time."

"..."

He stared at him cautiously, watching the changes in Su Shikang's facial expression. Su Shikang finally seemed to be tired from struggling, so he closed his eyes. He tilted his head, his eyelashes trembling under Chen Wei's gaze, and then After a long time, he turned his head and kissed Chen Wei's right cheek.

He hit him hard just now, Chen Wei's right cheek was red, and it was still hot when he kissed it.

It's a pity that he won't hold his face and ask him, does it hurt?

But these are enough.

Chen Wei smiled with satisfaction, that smile was a bit far-fetched and sad.Because of this kiss, his consciousness began to dissipate. After Su Shikang left, he walked to the empty street by feeling.

There was the sound of a car passing by, the sound was like clouds and fog, seemingly unreal, until it got closer and closer to him.

Thinking about opening his eyes and returning to his youth, he thought he could catch regrets and catch them when they were young, but in the end what really made him happy was a kiss that was stolen when the curtains were blowing.

He came over with eyes full of affection and had an extremely absurd nightmare.

Pain and fainting hit, Chen Wei closed his eyes, should he wake up from this dream?

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The author has something to say:

55555 I don’t know why this happened, the next chapter is sweet~

Maybe at twelve o'clock in the evening, but not on Saturday, okay~