thousand cherry blossoms

I once dreamed of walking across the world with a sword and seeing the prosperity of the world. The young heart is always a little frivolous, but now you are home all over the world.

——playing a song by Xu Wei Once You.

Life is lonely, but it seems that I can no longer hesitate from now on.

I have nothing to be afraid of, and I can be strong; I can still live well even if no one is with me anymore.There is no one in this world who can't live without someone, so I decided to give up looking for Lin Yuge.I will no longer be entangled with the question of whether Lin Pingzhi is Lin Yuge, and I will not interfere with Lin Pingzhi's future life.

Dongfang Bubai is right.The situation in the world came from my generation, once I entered the rivers and lakes, the time has passed, and Huang Tu dominates talking and laughing, and I can't help but get drunk.It's good to give it a go from now on, so what if I'm sorry to the world?If you haven't tasted the taste of power, how can you dare to judge that the feeling of being king will be bad?

The person lying in the green curtain closed his eyes tightly, it was Lin Pingzhi who I had brought back from Dongfang Bubai.

Different from the story told by Jin Yong, Ren Yingying and Xiang Wentian's plan of stealing the beam and changing posts failed, and Ren Woxing died because Yang Lianting discovered it.And Yang Lianting here is not stupid at all, he is not at all the clown who pretends to be a tiger and acts recklessly in Jin Yong's works, at least he is loyal and sincere to Dongfang Bubai, otherwise he would not hesitate to die in order to save Dongfang Bubai.

Of course, that's another story.And I don't have time to describe this story now, because Lin Pingzhi, who had been in a coma for more than half a month, woke up.

Lin Pingzhi was threatened by Xiang Wentian with the Three Corpse Brain Pill, and he was locked up at the bottom of the West Lake Prison and let him go. Unfortunately, Yang Lianting discovered it.Yang Lianting was killed by Xiang Wentian in order to save Dongfang Bubai, and Dongfang Bubai blamed Lin Pingzhi for Yang Lianting's death, beat him seriously and sent him back to the dungeon.If I hadn't come to ask for someone, Lin Pingzhi might have been imprisoned for the rest of his life.

It took me a lot of effort to heal Lin Pingzhi's injuries. If I hadn't taught him the Kasyapa Sutra before, he might have died.Now that he finally woke up, I didn't know what to say.

In order to take care of him, I haven't slept well for many days, and I stayed up all night last night.Anyone who has stayed up all night knows that as long as a person does not sleep well, the heart will beat extremely violently, and the mind will subtly wander between waking and madness, accompanied by a slight dizziness, similar to half-dream and half-awake.

After staring at him for a long time, I decided to stop talking nonsense and go to sleep, since he was already awake anyway.

He got up and was about to leave, but a strong and warm hand grabbed his wrist.I sighed helplessly, sat on the edge of the bed and asked him: Are you awake?Drink your medicine when you wake up.

After I finished speaking, I was about to leave again. He opened his mouth, as if he wanted to say something but remained silent all the time. When my patience was about to run out, he finally said in a thin but hoarse voice like bubbles: Don't go .

If it wasn't for the fact that he grabbed my wrist even more forcefully, I would have thought I was hallucinating.Smiled at him and said: OK, don't go.Tell me, what's the matter?

But he closed his eyes under my gaze, as if he didn't dare to look at me.The hand was not honest, it gradually moved from the wrist to the palm, until it interlocked with my fingers.My heartbeat is a little disordered, I don't know if it's because I stayed up all night.He wanted to take his hand away, but he held it tightly and refused to let go.

His hands were so warm it almost burned me.I used to long for this warmth so much, but he just happened to appear when I decided to give up.His face was pale, his cheeks were thin, but his lips were still red and full. He said: Sorry, I'm late.

I was a little dazed, not knowing what he meant.He didn't open his eyes to look at me, but frowned slightly, and continued: I heard about your father...

I interrupted and said: Oh, ok, got it.It saves you the trouble of doing it yourself.Why, you are sorry that you didn't kill him yourself, do you want my father to pay off his debt now?OK, come on, what do you want?

He frowned, and opened his eyes abruptly. His dark pupils seemed to be misty, revealing some kind of sadness and pity that I didn't want to understand. He said: You know that I don't mean it!

I pouted, not wanting to let go of my guard so easily.I have paid so much just to make his life less difficult.But what about my life?My father is dead, my Qingcheng faction was wiped out by Zuo Lengchan, what is left of my life?I'm like a stupid and funny clown, humble and hopelessly in love with him for so long.

Turning my face away from his hand that was about to caress my cheek, rolled up the corner of my mouth and said to him: It doesn't matter, I don't care what you mean anymore.If you don't want to kill me, go away after you heal your wounds.

Looking up at the Xieding, which is gradually lit up by the dawn sun, the faint warm golden color sprinkles on the sky that has not cleared for a long time, like the most gorgeous Nirvana.

Maybe, I really have let go.

But he was unwilling to let me go, struggling to sit up and want to hug me.He said: What are you talking about?How could I kill you, how could I?You left Luoyang without saying anything, but you just said you liked me, and you admitted it.If that's true, why can you just walk away like that!You answer me, I will not give you another chance to just disappear out of thin air like that.

When this guy got agitated, he pinched my wrist desperately, every time he did this, he must be bruised again, trying to break his fingers apart, he quickly grabbed them back, as if my wrist wouldn't hurt.Gouging him out, I couldn't bear it anymore, and lost my temper.He yelled and said: You are crazy!It's you who said you don't want to see me again!

But he looked extremely aggrieved, and said loudly: That's because you still refuse to admit that you like me!

I was taken aback by his yelling, he hugged me with all his strength, and continued to murmur like a wounded cub: I forced you like that that day, and you didn't want to tell me the truth, why couldn't you Just tell me you like me?If you don't say anything, I don't dare to say it...but it doesn't matter, I figured it out.If you don't want to say it first, then I will.Don't reject me, no matter what people in the world think, let me face it with you, okay? ...Don't look at me like this and say nothing, please, answer me?

The walls of my heart that I managed to build collapsed just like that, as well as my dying pride.I don't even know what expression to use to face it.I am no longer that young boy who can hide in my father's arms and act like a baby, let alone the romantic girl in my previous life who can go away with the one I love without any scruples.I have been consumed by hatred, I have tasted regret.I want all those who bullied me to die, and I even dream that one day I will be able to look down on the world.

In the silence, I once again thought about whether he was Lin Yuge.If you don't want to be clear, then it's too unfair to me, him and Lin Yuge.

I said: Actually, you don’t need to do this.You see, we're all men and it doesn't fit.Yue Lingshan is a kind and beautiful girl, gentle and considerate and wholeheartedly for you.With her taking care of you, you must be able to live happily.Holding hands together to grow old together, raising eyebrows together, full of children and grandchildren...

Lin Pingzhi froze, he stared at me, as if he wanted to pin me in the air that was about to be frozen into ice by him.Suddenly raised his hand tremblingly, lingered in the air for a long time, finally landed on my head, stroked my hair, looked at me tenderly, said: You are lying, why did you lie to me?

Seeing his madness, I suddenly felt very distressed, avoided his gaze, lowered my head and smiled.He put his arms around me again, his forehead was just enough to touch his neck, and I greedily inhaled the smell of his body.This is the first time I know that there is a little gardenia fragrance in the refreshing sunlight, which is exactly the same as Lin Yuge.I said: why bother?Your bloody revenge is over, and mine has just begun, so why bother yourself?

He grabbed my shoulder and pulled me away a little, leaned in front of me and tried to see through me, he said: No, it's too late now.It was you who seduced me first.

Did I seduce him?Yeah?Will Lin Yuge be angry if she finds out?

There were so many thoughts in my mind, and the familiar smell that I had been thinking about for a long time disturbed my mind. It wasn't until he suddenly leaned over and kissed me that I woke up in a panic.

I froze in place stiffly, not knowing whether to respond to him or push him away quickly.I was also worried that he was insane and didn't know what he was doing.

It's just that I didn't expect that he would get more and more insatiable, and suddenly caught me in a place that was hard to tell.While stunned, I subconsciously opened my mouth wide, only to find that he was entangled even more unceremoniously, and while fighting with each other, his hand also slipped into my pants in one fell swoop.

My head was buzzing as I was shattered by his tongue.It's not that I'm not strong enough, it's just that I'm a normal 20-year-old male, at the most vigorous age, not to mention that this is someone I've been worrying about for so long...

At the beginning, every time before the injection, he always dangled a defenseless naked fruit in front of me after taking a shower. I thought he thought we were all men, so he didn't shy away from it, but I just found out today that this is not the case at all. .

Lin Pingzhi looks thin, but a martial arts practitioner has a well-proportioned body, strong muscles, and good lines. When I think of the picture of a lively, beautiful, and delicious beauty coming out of the bath, I...

I was finally confused, and my heart was throbbing so hard that it almost jumped out of my chest.

I am doomed.It's really not my beast.When I was a woman, I really didn't know that for men, abstinence is such a painful thing.

The air is full of chaotic desires, I don't care about conquering or being conquered, and Lin Pingzhi doesn't seem to take it to heart either. In the end, all that remains is the deep and hoarse sex, and the long-suppressed desire to finally find an outlet.

Feeling like a fish washed up in the shallows by a huge wave, teetering on the edge of hypoxia and madness.

Confused, confused, overwhelmed and unable to stop...

When everything cooled down, I couldn't fall asleep staring at the moiré-covered top of the bed and the pale curtains.The person lying beside him was sleeping soundly.

Suddenly, unusually sober.I was like a bastard who didn't want to be responsible after doing something like a beast, and I started to think again whether I just regarded him as Lin Yuge's substitute, or did I get too deep into the drama because of pity for his rough fate?

His fingertips brushed between his brows which were still clenched tightly in his deep sleep, feeling a little distressed.To commemorate him and Lin Yuge's voice and appearance are exactly the same, the corners of his eyes and brows are gentle and romantic.Feeling uneasy, it seems to have returned to the past. Lin Yuge loves to clean up very much. He will definitely not be able to fall asleep without taking a shower every time. Thinking of this, it suddenly occurred to me that today is different from the past. If you don’t clean up, you will get sick.

So he endured the discomfort all over again, gritted his back molars and got up to clean up for him and himself.Damn, "he" was never so considerate at the beginning.

Gently carried him into the bathtub, even though I was careful enough, he still woke up.I opened my watery black eyes in a daze, turned my head and looked at me aggrievedly, smiled at him, and let him lean on my chest, hoping that he could feel better.I said: Good boy, I will let you go back to sleep after cleaning up, otherwise you will get sick easily.

But he smiled at me seductively, and his hands began to be dishonest again. I couldn't bear it and locked his hands back, and he wanted to bite my ear.I asked him dumbfounded: Mr. Lin, can you tell me who is seducing whom now?

He smiled evilly, deliberately sprayed warm breath into my ear, and said: Is there a difference?Mr. Yu.

While talking, I tried to fan the flames in my ears.

I was suddenly a little dazed, as if it was a funny, ironic and extremely cruel joke. At this moment, I realized very clearly that he seemed to have almost no similarities with Lin Yuge except for his appearance.At this time, Lin Yuge would quietly cooperate with me to help him continue to scrub, or simply come by himself, in order to go to sleep quickly.I like Lin Yuge's reaction better, because we are very tired now, and the days are still long, we can wait until tomorrow to talk about anything.

And he was sensitive to the momentary stiffness, and asked me suspiciously: What's wrong?

Nothing, just a little tired.

I said.She flicked the little pink mushroom lightly, and firmly rejected him.

In fact, I am a very restrained person. I don't have much enthusiasm in the first place, and I need to get along with each other even more in order to last long.

Silently wiped each other off, helplessly watching him hug me like an octopus before he was willing to sleep peacefully, as if I would disappear in the blink of an eye.

The life in Meizhuang is warm and pleasant, but I didn't expect Lin Pingzhi to be such a sticky person. This really has nothing in common with Lin Yuge.Lin Yuge is a person who respects personal space very much, leaving just the right distance for each other, relaxed and comfortable.Lin Yuge is also more reasonable than him, and he will never knock over the jar of jealousy just because he has nothing to do.Not to mention talking to me like coaxing a little girl, saying that I am still a man now.

I was so depressed that I couldn't describe it, I was so suffocated that I ran to Dongfang Bubai for a drink.

Dongfang Bubai was sitting among the colorful plum trees and drinking alone. Seeing me sitting down opposite him holding the jug in my arms, he looked at me with bitterness and mockery, and asked sarcastically: What?Didn't you already embrace the beauty, so is there any dissatisfaction?

Dongfang Bubai, who is dressed in a long black gown, looks like the enchanting beauty that has been washed away but hard to get rid of. Under the white undershirt, the icy muscle and bone wrists are just exposed, holding a bone china jug filled with sweet peach blossom wine, Seems lightly drunk.

I drank my own wine in silence, staring blankly at the star-studded night sky staring at the moon and clouds.

Finally, Dongfang Bubai couldn't bear my depressing silence, and said in a cold voice: Do you still remember the song Cao Cao that I played in this seat?You said, if you are not a hero, you don’t read the Three Kingdoms. If you are a hero, how can you not understand loneliness-this seat wants to ask you, do you know what is the loneliest thing in this world?

I said: I don't know why and I am persistent.

Dongfang Bubai poured the clear wine down his throat, looked up to the sky and laughed, as if he was mocking me.He said: power, fame, wealth, beauty, if you can only choose one thing, what would you choose?

I laughed too, and said to him: Did the leader miss one more item?

Dongfang Bubai looked back at me, smiled and said: Oh?What is missing from this seat?

I say: freedom.

Dongfang Bubai said: Has there ever been freedom in this world?

I smiled and changed the subject: I'll play a song for the leader, it's called Tianxia.

Under the vast starry sky and the moonlight as clear as water, I bowed my head and concentrated on playing Zhang Jie's world. I couldn't tell who I was missing, or whether I was just missing the broad freedom that I could have in my previous life.

Maybe, I just can't change back to that simple-minded little girl who follows in the footsteps of the one she loves and is willing to give everything.

In fact, you are more pitiful.Eastern Invincible said.This seat is lonely only because you can't get what you want, but you don't know what you want at all.

Am I pitiful?I said.Maybe, let me tell you a secret, maybe it sounds absurd—

I thought, I must be drunk, or crazy.

I said: Do you believe that people have past lives?

——Actually, I was a woman in my previous life.

——Besides, there is also a husband who loves me very much, loves me more than my father, and has never made me suffer even a little bit of wronged... I always feel that he is not good enough, that he is boring, and does not understand what I am thinking What, don't care about me enough.So I made trouble with him unreasonably, lost my temper, and forced him to divorce me.Then, he begged me, kneeling in front of me, crying and begging, saying that for me, he could change anything until I was satisfied.But the more he begged me, the more boring I felt.

As I spoke, tears began to flow down uncontrollably, I'm really an asshole.Why am I so sick.But no matter how painfully I cry, Lin Yuge will never come back.

Dongfang Bubai looked at me crying there, and asked silently: What happened next?

Later... Later he said, we met on a trip, so let's end it in the same way.So I said yes.

Dongfang Bubai handed me a handkerchief and said: Are you reconciled?

I said: If he is not dead.

I drank the rest of the wine in the jug, and told Dongfang Bubai with a smile: We had an accident on the way, and he died to save me.And I couldn't survive.

Dongfang Bubai stared at me for a while, and said: ... This ending is actually not bad.

I said: maybe.If Lin Pingzhi didn't look exactly like him.

Dongfang Bubai took a deep look at me, and after a long silence, he said softly: You have been chasing what you have lost, but you have not cherished what you have gained.Hahahahahaha...

TBC