[Wen Ye] Hell changes

Oda Sakunosuke unexpectedly received a request from Mori Ogai to meet in person.He has no contacts with high-level cadres, so he can't figure out what can make Mori Ogai notice him.

The place where Mori Ogai is located is an empty court room that makes people even more frightened. A place where you can work with a table and chairs is clearly arranged, but it has to be made into that appearance. There is nothing in the huge space except a chair and a person. Waiting for a long time will make people panic.

Before he stepped in, he heard the sound of conversation coming from inside.Just when he was trying to figure out who the owner of the conversation was, he heard Mori Ogai calling him from inside, saying that he could come in.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke walked out of the office slowly.

It turned out that it was Akutagawa Ryunosuke who was talking to Mori Ogai just now. He should have just completed the mission to report, and it happened to be a few minutes away from the time when Oda Sakunosuke was summoned.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke who came out nervously pursed his lips into a flesh pink straight line, his thin shoulders shrunk nervously, so the edges and corners of the shoulders of the clothes became conspicuous, and the folds curved.

He didn't know Oda Sakunosuke, nor did he know what relationship this person had with Dazai Osamu, he just saw him sitting with Dazai Osamu drinking.But after all, as long as there is a relationship like a colleague, anyone can sit and discuss things with Dazai Osamu, so Akutagawa Ryunosuke has not yet thought that this person is a very important friend of Dazai Osamu.

He didn't know the identity of Oda Sakunosuke, and he didn't know what would happen to this person next. He just threw a glance at him when he passed by just out of familiarity.

Oda Sakunosuke was not looking at him.

All he saw was the shoulders of this man who was much taller than himself.

It's the person from last time.He thought so, then withdrew his gaze, and left at a leisurely pace.

Oda Sakunosuke turned around at the last second before the door closed.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke was not looking at him.

All he saw was the back of the thin boy leaving.

This is also impossible.he thought so.

He didn't look at the back of Akutagawa Ryunosuke, who was obviously far away, and it seemed that Akutagawa Ryunosuke had never looked at him. He passed by, and his eyes didn't meet. It was a great pity.

However, Akutagawa Ryunosuke is not as affectionate as he is, and he doesn't even raise this episode to an emotional level at all.He came to see Mori Ogai purely because he needed to report to Mori Ogai, and he returned to Osamu Dazai soon after the end.

It was dark by then.

He wanted to tell Osamu Dazai about himself and Chuya Nakahara.He is not stupid, knowing that this may not be the best choice, but if he really wants to give Nakahara Chuya a reliable answer, he must pass the test of Osamu Dazai.If they can't get past Osamu Dazai, no matter whether they are together or separated afterwards, Osamu Dazai will be a catastrophe for them.Since this is a challenge that will come sooner or later, why not take it on sooner?Akutagawa Ryunosuke thought so.

Orion, who was killed by the gods, ate away the loneliness of the night in the sky, sealed his feelings and words, said nothing, and seemed to be waiting for his decision.

"Isn't this our little black eye? What a rare visitor." Osamu Dazai stood at the door of their old training place, greeted him in a strange way, and leaned leisurely against the gate.

"Sorry, Mr. Dazai, for keeping you waiting."

"Don't talk nonsense, I'm not here waiting for you to come back, it's just a coincidence that I haven't left yet."

"I understand, I won't be delusional in the future, as you said." Akutagawa Ryunosuke bowed to him.

This is a ritual action he has repeated countless times in front of Osamu Dazai, no matter the angle of leaning body or the range of limb swing, they are so perfect that there is no flaw at all.Silver light splashed on his folded body.

The bright moon is in the sky, and there are no clouds and no clouds, which makes the night at this time appear empty and lonely.The moonlight poured over Akutagawa Ryunosuke's body, flashing complex patterns, and the few drops of beautiful condensed light on his fair neck were like diamond tattoos.

Dazai was silent.

No matter how he opened his mouth, it was not good.

Actually, I was lying just now?That is absolutely impossible.Talk about other topics?There was no room for conversation between him and Akutagawa.Not to mention chatting, even ordinary caring or even asking about their health is impossible, because the connection between them has long been broken by Osamu Dazai himself.It is a fantasy to rebuild friendship, and it is whimsical to maintain contact. The only way to prove that there is still a relationship between them is punching and kicking, and cold and monotonous cynicism over and over again.

Violence and bullying are now the closest contact between him and Akutagawa Ryunosuke.It's just sad to admit it.

But forget it, he is not afraid that life will be more sad, no matter how sad he is, he can laugh it off, anyway, life is already that kind of dog, Akutagawa Ryunosuke just makes his life more embarrassing.

Thinking of this, Osamu Dazai lowered his head somewhat dumbfounded.

I miss you so much, little black eyes, my soul recalls you every moment and is occupied by you, but you don’t intend to go further with me, you can only stop at rigid respect and solemn alienation .

"Mr. Dazai, I want to tell you something."

"Don't say anything." He put his hand on Ryunosuke Akutagawa's shoulder.

"A few days ago, Senior Chuya..."

"Needless to say."

"He said he liked me very much."

"Didn't I tell you to stop talking? You haven't been to school, so you can't even understand Japanese, right?"

Akutagawa was startled by the roar.He had never been so terrified like now.He looked at Osamu Dazai in aphasia, and dared not breathe.

Osamu Dazai's fingers almost pinched a fingernail-shaped hole in his shoulder. Although he still had an exaggerated smile, everyone could see that something was wrong with Osamu Dazai's expression, and the aura radiating from his body was anger and forbearance. .Akutagawa Ryunosuke is very concerned about Dazai Osamu's mood, and he grew up in a slum surrounded by anger and murderous intent, how could he not feel Dazai Osamu's emotions now.

He could feel that Osamu Dazai was not as angry as usual, and the force in his hand was getting heavier and heavier, which made him painful.But he didn't dare to break free, so he just gritted his teeth and endured it.

He bit his lower lip, facing the pain of a shoulder that was bleeding and numb from being scratched by Osamu Dazai, and said word by word very clearly: "I think I should give Senior Chuya an affirmative answer, no. Just fooling around... I too... want to be with Chuya-senpai too...he is really good to me, so I want to try..."

Osamu Dazai looked at him quietly without blinking his eyes.

As smart as he is, why can't he see what Akutagawa Ryunosuke is going to say.He has been inquiring about Nakahara Chuya and Akutagawa for the past few days, and when he came back to see Akutagawa's hesitant but determined expression, he roughly guessed what Akutagawa would say to him next.He had a premonition long ago, but the sense of crisis and fear brought about by that premonition was as vague as a screen window. He knew that he might collapse after piercing it, so he kept letting this tricky window lie in the middle, feeling his pulse Silent.

But now, no matter how much he ordered Akutagawa Ryunosuke not to speak any more, Akutagawa Ryunosuke still wanted to speak out, and he still wanted to pierce the screen.

"It's too much, Akutagawa...how could you say such things to me?!"

Osamu Dazai put away his smile, and the force in his hand was getting more and more excessive than before, which made Akutagawa Ryunosuke feel the pain to the marrow of his bones, and felt that his hands and nails were about to crush his own flesh and blood, and break his bones. own shoulders.

"Mr. Dazai, can you please let go? Really..." It really hurts.He couldn't take it anymore.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke endured the pain in his shoulder that was about to be broken by him, insisting on the last bit of self-esteem, not letting himself scream out the pain.He heard a click.Something was broken by Osamu Dazai.

"You are too much..." Osamu Dazai repeated this sentence unshakably, and refused to let go no matter what.

Although Akutagawa Ryunosuke didn't yell out the pain, his silent shoulders and almost crying expression all showed his pain at the moment.It felt like a knife had been pierced through the stomach. In the end, the knife was not removed from the stomach, which made the bleeding stomach pouch pitifully cry and convulse.

However, no matter how painful he was, he didn't arouse Dazai Osamu's compassion. Looking at his appearance, he even took pleasure in Akutagawa's pain.

"There is still a chance to take back what you said just now. You are someone who is used to seeing other people's faces. You should know that I am very angry now, right? I am really angry, my little black eyes."

"No, I won't take it back, and I don't understand why you are angry... Do you really, really hate me that much?"

Belittle me every day, or hit me every day until I have no strength to get up, I can think of these as your teaching methods, and I can think that I am not strong enough, but now, even I have made my own choices. Power is not given yet?Forbearance and suffering can both be part of character or fate, but if a person is deprived of the right to make choices, what kind of character can this person have?Isn't it just a zombie?

I can be a loyal subordinate of my husband, but I can never be an empty shell without a soul. This is an insult to my personality and a denial of the meaning of my existence.

Thinking of this, Akutagawa Ryunosuke felt that he now really felt Osamu Dazai's feelings for him.

He thought Osamu Dazai really hated himself to the core, and even objectified him a bit.

He hated the feeling of being objectified.So he was going to die and never take back the words that he wanted to be with Zhong Yuan.

Do you really hate me that much?This question pierced Osamu Dazai's brain and soul like a piercing bone.

Hate Akutagawa?How can it be.He knows everything, whether it's Akutagawa's hard-working attitude, or his pure competitive spirit, or his strong expression after being injured, he knows it all.For his approval, Akutagawa has never slackened a single minute since he entered the port mafia until now. Even if he made a mistake, he was willing to suffer afterwards. He has never done anything other than his duty and pursuit.He has taught Akutagawa for so long, and he knows all the suffering and grievances of Akutagawa. He asked himself, how could he hate Akutagawa?

When seeing Ryunosuke Akutagawa, Osamu Dazai would feel that there are other things in life that are worth looking forward to, fighting for, and missing.Akutagawa Ryunosuke's vivid, sincere eyes of reverence, strong and moving, made him once again see a living body with clean blood actively operating in front of his eyes, and made him feel the joy of life that he hadn't experienced in many years with the unknown.

Akutagawa with infinite possibilities.Akutagawa who has a loneliness no less than himself.Akutagawa with unknown and conquest.

It is rare for him to have any pursuit that must be obtained.But now, this pursuit is about to be buried in his own hands, and he will also go away immediately.He hid it too deeply, and Akutagawa was too slow to understand, even if he didn't understand him deeply even once.

But in the final analysis, the reason why Akutagawa can't understand him is completely created by himself.It's his own fault.In fact, he has long understood, but he still has to speak hard.

The cold moonlight slid down Dazai Osamu's forehead hair to the tip of his chin.Osamu Dazai put on that intimidating smiling face again.

His lips moved together, and he swallowed and exhaled an unknown taste while speaking.

"Yeah, I hate you so much. What qualifications do you have to pursue happiness? Why do you think you have the right to choose your future? You are obviously a fool who can't do anything well, and you don't even have an elementary school degree. Don't you feel ashamed to say that you want to be with someone else in front of me? Do you think you are worthy of Chuya Nakahara?

I advise you to take back that sentence and give up this idea, because you are not qualified.Obviously nothing but always put on a noble face, I feel that I can make my own decisions, I feel that I can do whatever I want without listening to me, that ugly look really opened my eyes.That's why I hate you.

Really, really, Akutagawa, more than the truth... I hate you more than anyone else in the world. "