[Wen Ye] Hell changes

Ryunosuke Akutagawa stared blankly at the scene passing by at a high speed outside the window, gradually changed the focus distance of his pupils, and cast his eyes on himself reflected in the window.Thin and sickly.looming.And at the same time, with the rapid switching of the scenery, it dimmed and dimmed until the dark clouds looked over here from the other side of the sky, so that the image on the window could no longer be found.He closed his eyes and remembered.

When he came out before, he was silent on the road, and after a long time, he suddenly asked Higuchi: "Who is Odasaku?"

There was a spasm in Higuchi Ichiyo's body, and he replied cautiously: "It's a good friend of Dazai Osamu, who has passed away. His full name is Oda Sakunosuke."

Oh, Oda Sakunosuke.He finally had some memories that slowly came back to his mind.He remembered that while Osamu Dazai was beating himself, he mentioned that the leader of Mimic, Oda Saku, came to save him.At that time, it seemed that there was indeed a person who came to save me, and said that his name was Oda Sakunosuke.After careful calculation, it seems that it happened more than four years ago. After many days, the other party and I only reported the name accidentally. Why must he be asked to remember this person?Akutagawa Ryunosuke doesn't understand.

Higuchi Ichiyo knelt down beside the wheelchair with a plop, begged Akutagawa Ryunosuke's forgiveness, and revealed everything about Oda Sakunosuke's anonymous letter to him.The person who had been exchanging letters with him four years ago was Oda Sakunosuke. For the sake of trust and respect, Higuchi Ichiyo never revealed this secret. In addition, Oda Sakunosuke had passed away for a long time. What if you don't want Oda Sakunosuke to be beaten?Higuchi Ichiyo regretted it too late.Not only that, but she also told Ryunosuke Akutagawa the secret that Osamu Dazai forced her to hide back then.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke looked at her face full of regret and tears, and didn't say a word for a long time, his eyes were full of silence.

What should he say?Said, ah, it turns out that Oda Sakunosuke is the person who sent the letter to Lin Dong, should I regret that I missed Oda Saku?Or, it turns out that Oda Saku is such an important person, should I forgive Osamu Dazai for his anger?Or, I'm so tired, can I stop having anything to do with these people? Why, as an uninformed person, would I be implicated to such an extent even if the other party died?The third statement may be too ruthless.Akutagawa Ryunosuke sneered.

"senior……"

"Stop talking." He leaned on the back of the wheelchair, frowning irritably, "It's so annoying."

"Are you all right, senior?"

"It's okay." He paused, "It just hurts."

Higuchi Ichiyo thought that the topic would be cut off like this, but Akutagawa suddenly asked, buy me some food, water is fine.She jumped up to buy it as if she had received an imperial edict. She knew that it would be extremely difficult to get Akutagawa, who is suffering from anorexia, to say that he wanted to eat. A small hole was made in the blood vessel, and then the substance that maintained his vitality was transported into the ashes-shaped body.

After Higuchi Ichiyo left, Akutagawa fell into deep thought as he looked at the dense pinholes around his wrist.

After the figure of Higuchi Ichiyo was completely out of sight, some gangster-looking people around him began to come closer.They kept stretching their necks to visit, then exchanged glances with each other, smiled ferociously, nodded to their companions, and then deliberately sat across from Akutagawa, making a lot of noise.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke looked at the few people sitting across from him in an arrogant posture, and felt physically sick at their disgusting gaze, but Rashomon has been detained, and it is said that it is now in the hands of Mori Ogai , and his recent performance has caused Mori Ogai to lose trust in him, and I am afraid that he will not come back for the time being.He is now only wearing a thin long-sleeved piece given by the hospital, not even a coat.If Rashomon was still there, he would directly tear the person who showed this expression to him to pieces.But now, he could only frowned in disgust, then turned his face away, not even wanting to look at them.

"It's really him." "It's so thin that you can't recognize it at all!" "But look at his hair, that kind of gradient color can't be found anywhere in Yokohama, it's definitely not wrong." "It makes sense..."

After whispering at a deliberately high volume, the leader knocked on the table in front of Akutagawa Ryunosuke and shouted, "Are you really Akutagawa Ryunosuke? Talk to me? Are you scared?" "Don't be afraid, We are your fans." "Yeah, I've seen that trick on TV before, the trick that can turn black clothes into weapons, it will always be played repeatedly by reporters when it hits the headlines, can you show us a demonstration Come on, big celebrity?" "What happened to your leg? Was it really bitten off by a tiger?" "Are you stupid? If you were bitten by a tiger, your whole leg would fly away. How could it exist? I guess , was poisoned by the revenge of the enemy." "Why are you so thin? Did you go for liposuction? Could it be that you really plan to act in a movie and become a big star?" "He will definitely win an Oscar for playing a mummy like this , It can also help the crew save makeup artists."

Crowds of lay people roared with laughter.In fact, there is no laughing point at all, but in order to infect the suspected joyful atmosphere, and for the performance effect, they also specially made gestures of laughing their stomachs and wiping tears.However, Akutagawa Ryunosuke didn't look at them from the beginning to the end, he just thought in his heart why Higuchi was so slow.Seeing that they were completely ignored by Akutagawa Ryunosuke, they immediately withdrew their laughter, with ugly faces, gritted their teeth viciously, and muttered in their mouths: Disabled people want to put on airs, and now the whole country knows that you are a waste, why not Pack.

Then, before Ryunosuke Akutagawa looked up, there was a cold touch from the scalp, and the chill gradually spread, dripping to the forehead hair, nose tip, and chin, seeping into the thin skirt, sliding on the pair that was no longer there. Feel the legs.Drenched in juice.He jerked his head up.

"Go to a mental hospital! A dog."

Instead of being angry, Akutagawa threw a disdainful glance at them, and then smiled unhurriedly.The face with thin cheekbones exudes a kind of poignant beauty.This can irritate people with strong self-esteem more than insults, especially those who have no ability to increase their self-esteem.A group of enraged people clamored and rushed over to beat him.

He remembered that Higuchi Ichiyo gave himself a small knife, but his right hand was held down, unable to take out the weapon to defend himself.The previous life of relying on supernatural powers made his physical/physical defects more and more obvious day by day.The biceps, elbows, and wrists were all pressed hard, and for a moment he felt so painful that his arm was disabled, almost like paralysis.

After that, there were overwhelming fists and slaps.Bloodshots overflowed from the tip of the lips, with a fishy-sweet smell and a fresh posture, just like the flying red waves formed by the sunset slanting on the lake and sea, the posture is lingering and the color is light.Maybe it was because he was slapped to one side, blood got into the seam of his chapped lips, layer after layer, each time getting thicker and brighter.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke bore their beatings expressionlessly, seemingly painless.

Much lighter than Osamu Dazai.

"Didn't you eat?" He sneered.

After speaking, he was immediately choked by the blood in his mouth, and began to cough violently. After coughing once or twice, he was slapped and slapped and choked with fists, and the blood also penetrated into him throat.The sticky and smelly feeling spread delicately.He started to get goosebumps, dizzy, and wheezing hoarsely.Like whimpering.After swallowing a little more blood, he felt like vomiting.

Finally, the commotion was so loud that some passers-by couldn't bear to watch it. Seeing that the police had been called, a group of people ran out immediately for fear of being caught.

He slowly picked up the toilet paper on the table, trying to wipe the blood off his body and lips.

Very long nails.The body is bleeding.he thought so.

Due to too many wounds, the paper will always scrape through the cracked flesh/seam, scratching the bright red flesh paste in the seam like a knife cut.The blood-stained toilet paper shriveled and crumpled into a ball, and he threw it aside.He was entangled with his absurd present life and the truth of the past that he only learned today, feeling as if his body was twisted into slippery and scaly rattlesnakes after being beaten half to death.

After wiping it casually, he wanted to touch his cheek, but before he raised his hand, he suddenly lost his focus, fell on the table, and vomited something red in flesh.Possibly blood oozing from the vomit.The stuff stuck in his chest made him extremely painful before, but after he vomited out, he no longer had the pain to support his senses.

He closed his eyes.

No one knew whether he was asleep or comatose.

No one recognized him as Ryunosuke Akutagawa again.

Osamu Dazai has seen the news about Ryunosuke Akutagawa.He has been quite satisfied with Atsushi Nakajima's teaching.Atsushi Nakajima was originally targeted by the port mafia, but because of Akutagawa Ryunosuke's health, he returned to the Armed Detective Agency almost unscathed, and rescued the girl Izumi Kyoka who had been oppressed by the mafia. Everyone is happy.

In the next month or two, Atsushi Nakajima achieved many results that pleased Osamu Dazai.That day, while he was reading the book in his hand, he heard a shout: Ryunosuke Akutagawa was diagnosed with mental illness and his legs were disabled.

Dazai Osamu was thinking about this all day, and then dreamed that he and Akutagawa Ryunosuke were married that day.His little black eyes married him.Although he thinks about it day by day and dreams at night, after all, the world he enters after falling asleep does not listen to his words to switch scenes, so he thinks that all this is not his fault.In short, it was on this day that he dreamed that he got Akutagawa Ryunosuke forever.

In the dream, there is no contempt and disgust for same-sex marriage, only the bouquet of flowers that fills the entire sky and turns and ripples under the sky.There is no sad childhood and difficult future, only the graceful arc drawn by the hem of the clothes when stepping on the red carpet all the way.There is no rigid glory, only belated glory.Akutagawa Ryunosuke has a slender figure and elegant figure, and his slightly long black hair has just been pulled into an extremely beautiful bun.Praises of different tones converged on them, and flower clusters of various postures flew and slid romantically beside them at this moment.

my dark eyes.

He was almost awakened by his own laughter, and at the moment he woke up, he realized that it was entirely possible to wake up laughing in a dream, but it was a pity that it was not laughing because ordinary dreams such as wealth came true as ordinary people hoped.

He laughs at his obsession, laughs at the many lives and deaths in his past life, laughs at how much he longs for Akutagawa Ryunosuke to blend into the same outline as the bride in his dream.He knows how to make the little idiot Akutagawa Ryunosuke happy, and he can even use all his acting skills that can be called mediation and wits to make the little idiot miss him, but he will never be able to do this alone.

He can kill a person in an instant, but he can't possess even a loving look from Akutagawa Ryunosuke's black eyes.

Akutagawa is not his childhood plum, he is not Akutagawa's bamboo horse.They have never walked through even one year of spring and autumn without being separated day and night, and they have never fought even a world with a large distance holding hands like a couple of gods.Akutagawa didn't know when he was no longer as attached to him as he was obsessed with living, but he never said he didn't care about him.Osamu Dazai has never met him as peacefully and kindly as he has met any good friend, but he wants to contact him every second.He has never been troubled by Akutagawa Ryunosuke, never regretted, Akutagawa Ryunosuke has never been angry for him, and he has never had an ups and downs.They never cut off the airwaves of the superficial network, but they never had enough reasons to keep in touch.He has not influenced Akutagawa Ryunosuke's ups and downs, nor has Akutagawa Ryunosuke rewritten his life.Akutagawa Ryunosuke didn't think about him or forget him, but Dazai Osamu was tired of him and finally admitted that he loved him and couldn't escape.They are deeply connected to each other and know nothing about each other.Close at hand, but tightly frozen with the horizon.We have known each other for many years, and when we write a love history, it immediately becomes waste paper.

Osamu Dazai lay down again and entered the dream again.

He returned to the night when he first met Ryunosuke Akutagawa.The moonlight suddenly came to Xiatu.

He could vaguely recall the changes and gradations of color in the sky before the bone moon came up.The firelight of the city can't stop reflecting, highlighting the image of the moon on the high-rise buildings, and various lights also hit the image, as if the real body is following the second moon.The second moon is far brighter and more dazzling than the real body.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke was waiting for him where the moonlight shined, just as embarrassed and lonely as the day we first met.Akutagawa was waiting for him.Only when he goes forward to bring Akutagawa home, can Akutagawa survive, otherwise he will definitely die in the slums.So he stepped forward, wanting to take Akutagawa away without saying a word.

"Why are you here now?" Akutagawa Ryunosuke called out the moment he touched him.

"It's all my fault for being late. Come back with me."

"You love me, don't you?"

"What's wrong? Are you acting like a baby?"

"You love me, don't you?"

Akutagawa Ryunosuke didn't move at all no matter how much he pulled, just kept repeating a question, like a robot reading lines.He had no choice but to respond again and again: "Yes. Yes. I love you. I want to love you. I only love you." At this point, he paused, and then continued to add after a second: "I love you."

"Me too." Akutagawa Ryunosuke finally changed his expression, raised his shining black eyes, and smiled happily.Those eyes are full of beautiful emotions and are beautiful in ancient and modern times.

Osamu Dazai lost his breath for a moment.

His internal organs are all drunk in the beautiful eye lines, the flesh is warmed and melted like butter under the tender eyes, the beating of every artery and vein is controlled by him, even the The fragile atrium valve has no obstacles, and the whole heart is almost swallowed up by Akutagawa Ryunosuke's eyes.

Dopamine makes the heart throbbing, ethylamine creates deep love, endorphins keep the love alive, norepinephrine makes it hard to give up for life, and serotonin makes all right and wrong resentment completely zeroed out.

So he showed a weird smile, kept repeating "I love you", and at the same time pulled Akutagawa Ryunosuke's body, trying to make him leave the place and follow him.

I love you.I love you.I love you.Love you.Love you.Love love love love love love love love.

It is said that as long as you tell someone I love you ten times in a row, that person will become stupid.

"Mr. Dazai, I can't stand up anymore. Let me go. Please." Akutagawa Ryunosuke couldn't bear his brutal pull, showing a somewhat painful expression.

He took a closer look and found that Akutagawa's body was blood red at some point, and his two calves had long since disappeared. The thin bones extended from the bloody incision on his knees and plunged into the ground fiercely, together with countless insect corpse trees. It must be pasted as a whole, deeply rooted in the ground to a depth of [-] miles.

"Where's your leg, Akutagawa, where's your leg?" Osamu Dazai asked pressingly, shaking his shoulder.

"This is how I was born, Mr. Dazai. I am a dog with a broken leg growing from the root of a tree."

"Okay, okay, it's okay, don't be afraid, don't be afraid, even if you don't have legs, even if you are not human, I still love you."

Osamu Dazai smiled nonchalantly, despite the fact that Ryunosuke Akutagawa had already been tearing up in pain, he still persistently wanted to take him away.Akutagawa Ryunosuke was pulled by one arm by him, his upper body stuck to the ground, and he buried his head in the muddy ground and kept crying, begging him to let go.

"You just said that you love me too, you just said that. And we just got married not long ago. At that time, you smiled happily and looked really beautiful. I don't allow you to get married so quickly. betray me."

"Mr. Dazai, I don't remember anything."

"Don't remember? You can forget what happened just now? Don't pretend to be stupid. Aren't you afraid that I will hate you if you say such a thing?"

"I don't remember, I don't remember...Please let go...Let me go, let me go..."

Akutagawa Ryunosuke was only wearing a thin shirt, the clothes were already muddy, dark blood clots could be seen in the messy hair, the delicate skin was covered with wounds, the blood-stained lips had already turned black, maybe it was blood The grains were untreated and he didn't wipe them himself, so it became like that.His tears transpired into lingering smoke, drifting sadly to the tree with ten thousand roots, crying to Osamu Dazai silently.

Looking at his frail appearance, Osamu Dazai has already begun to envision the beautiful world of the two after he is liberated from here.So he stood there watching Ryunosuke Akutagawa weeping, his soul was addicted to love, and his expression was as crazy as death.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke's blood flowed like a river, no matter what he struggled, he couldn't let go of Osamu Dazai's hand.The fingers of his other arm sank into the ground and turned into blood-red fungus, the nails fell off into heavy mud wetted by tears, and the tears on his eyes melted into The invisible ripples of light spots are gone, leaving only blank and invisible grief.

Akutagawa Gin came out from nowhere, crying and begging Osamu Dazai to let her brother go.

Osamu Dazai didn't want to hurt her at first, but felt that this matter had nothing to do with her, and outsiders should not get involved casually, so he gently pushed her aside.Unexpectedly, this push caused Akutagawa Yin to be pierced through the heart by a short tree stump that was as sharp as a drill, and he couldn't breathe on the spot.Akutagawa Ryunosuke's loudly reverberating call was mercilessly pressed down deep into the ground, and every drop of tear and blood called his sister's name in the suffocating place tens of thousands of miles below.

His hands were full of blood and tears, and he couldn't help crying, like a baby who couldn't get love.

"Mr. Dazai, I'm in terrible pain."