Since the last incident, Osamu Dazai quit the port mafia, or to be precise, he defected away. After all, after having such a conversation with Mori Ogai, he wanted to say "please allow me to resign from the port mafia." A job" is obviously unrealistic, and defection is already the best choice.

That day in his dream, he saw Akutagawa Ryunosuke who would cuddle up to him obediently, and also saw himself who was obsessed with this falsehood and had not come out so far. After waking up, he left the port mafia overnight.The president of the Armed Detective Agency welcomed his arrival. It didn't matter what happened before, and the members held the banquet very carefully.Osamu Dazai wore new clothes at the banquet, laughed so hard that his chest was pressed against his back, and kept applauding. At night, he turned off the lights with his red hands and fell asleep in a daze.

But in fact, it is difficult to fall asleep directly.Before leaving the Port Mafia, he went to Ichiyo Higuchi and tried to get the contact information of Akutagawa. Although the contact information failed, he accidentally caught a glimpse of the letter delivered by her. Akutagawa's departure from the country was not handed over smoothly, so Higuchi Ichiyo has been kept in the house.Osamu Dazai recognized it at a glance. The neat rows of handwriting on the envelope indicating the recipient and address completely matched the handwriting of Sakunosuke Oda.

So Osamu Dazai had a series of associations in an instant. He guessed that Oda Saku might like Akutagawa, and because he knew his feelings for Akutagawa, he chose to contact Akutagawa by writing anonymously in order to take care of his face.With the generation of such associations, there is a reasonable explanation for the causal origin of all events, and everything suddenly becomes clear.

Strange, why didn't I realize that Oda Saku likes Akutagawa before?Why didn't I find out?

Such a huge roar resounded from the depths of his soul, shaking Dazai Osamu suddenly, almost like a bang, as if hitting his heart hard.He was so frightened that he woke up instantly, and sat alone in the cold sweat and the darkness of the room.The building on the opposite side of the window gradually gave birth to an unbreakable Deng Hui, which slightly affected the brightness of his place, and wave after wave of shallow light boiled and rolled over his body like the blood of the flesh.

After calming down for a while, he lay down again, only to see Akutagawa Ryunosuke and Oda Sakunosuke again in his dream.Two familiar faces, and two timbres that lie beside his ear cocoons day and night.Akutagawa Ryunosuke stood obediently next to him, Oda Sakunosuke slowly walked from the opposite side, and Akutagawa followed Oda Sakunosuke without hesitation.Damn it, it's a picture that he hates and disgusts very much, but Akutagawa in this picture is smiling so happily, so happy that nothing can interfere with the relationship between these two people, unless he, Dazai Osamu, intentionally sabotages it.Unless he, Dazai Osamu, reaches out to destroy all of this, nothing can hinder Akutagawa's happiness.How free and beautiful Akutagawa's smile is, it makes his breath and even his existence so vulgar at this moment.

He woke up again in anger and bitterness, and after a moment of calm he tried to fall asleep again.What he saw in his dream this time was Akutagawa's life without his involvement.

Ryunosuke Akutagawa was discovered by Sakunosuke Oda, who gently held his hand and stroked him gently. "For so many years, it's not easy, come, come to my side." Oda Sakunosuke said to Akutagawa.Akutagawa flung himself into Oda Sakunosuke's arms moved.At this time, they finally found Osamu Dazai standing beside him.

"This is my friend." Oda Saku pointed to Osamu Dazai.

So Akutagawa nodded politely and indifferently to Osamu Dazai: "Hello."

Osamu Dazai held back the turbulent sadness, gritted his teeth and replied: "Hello."

Then there was no follow-up, Akutagawa Ryunosuke knew that he was a good friend of Oda Sakunosuke, and since then, every time he saw him, he would just nod slightly to show the respect full of distance.

After each training session, Oda Sakunosuke would take Akutagawa to dinner.A cozy noodle shop, two sets of identical bowls and chopsticks, and three people who are familiar with each other but are strangers to each other.When Akutagawa failed in training or missions, Oda Sakunosuke went to comfort him and hug him.If Akutagawa is successful, Oda Sakunosuke will say, you are my pride.So Akutagawa Ryunosuke shed tears for it. "I want to be with you forever." He said to Oda Sakunosuke.Osamu Dazai stood beside him without saying a word, staring at Akutagawa, but Akutagawa didn't even look at him.Oda Sakunosuke accepted, pulled Akutagawa Ryunosuke and slowly walked away, no matter how conspicuous Dazai stood, they seemed to be completely invisible to Dazai.

Is this the world without me?Is this life without me in Akutagawa?what about me?You are all gone, where should I go?Who should I seek to fill this loneliness?He couldn't help thinking this way, while swallowing the sour saliva in the middle of his throat with difficulty, he waved goodbye to the backs of those two people and the year when he and Akutagawa met, and he could clearly see his thoughts when waving goodbye And weakness scattered in the sky of the setting sun, only falling flowers and feather catkins remained by his side.

He admired Akutagawa for almost his entire mafia career, hundreds or even nearly a thousand days and nights, tens of thousands of hours, and hundreds of millions of seconds. A nod that didn't even bother to give a smile.He almost loves Akutagawa Ryunosuke with his life, and at the same time pushes himself and Akutagawa Ryunosuke further and further away with his life.If he had never been involved in Ryunosuke Akutagawa's life, then he would have to experience the loneliness of not being able to know Akutagawa forever, and at the same time witness Akutagawa falling in love with one of his best friends.He had to drink up the grief of not being able to confess in front of Akutagawa in eternal life, and at the same time witnessed Akutagawa kissing someone else, and even marrying that person in a country where he fled.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke is with someone else.Osamu Dazai saw him wearing a suit, going up to the marriage hall hand in hand with the other party under the applause and tears of everyone's blessings, the whole person looked so beautiful and amazing.But Osamu Dazai didn't have the courage to even glance at the stage.

Afterwards, Akutagawa's jewel-like black eyes would only smile at his lover, not for Osamu Dazai.Akutagawa's eyes reflect all living beings in the world, and will never reflect Osamu Dazai's face again.And those black eyes happened to be Osamu Dazai's favorite part.

My black eyes...it's my black eyes...

Osamu Dazai woke up from his dream for the third time.Tears trickled down from the eyes of this admittedly almost heartless man.By this time his limbs had completely lost strength, and he was no longer in the mood to lie down and fall asleep.The cold air entered his body through the respiratory tract and mouth as he breathed, further and cruelly announcing his frustration and desperation.He bent over and covered his face, alone in the dark, lost in helpless thoughts.

The indoor lights were suddenly turned on by Edogawa Ranpo.Osamu Dazai had just joined the detective agency, and he hadn't decided where to buy a new house, so he was temporarily sleeping in the detective agency. Perhaps it was a coincidence that Edogawa Ranpo was also resting here today, and did not return to his home.Edogawa stood at the door in disorder, looked at him suspiciously, and asked tentatively, "Can't sleep? Can't adapt to the new environment?"

"Did hugging affect your rest?"

"You make frightened noises every now and then, I can't sleep at all in the next room." Edogawa Luanbu wrinkled his face into a ball, "Do you want to continue to sleep?"

"No."

"Who did you dream about again? If it was a dream about a friend, I could have a heart-to-heart talk with you out of pity, but if it was a dream about my girlfriend, then I might want to beat you up."

"Not your girlfriend."

"If you didn't kick me out at the beginning, then I might have caught up." Edogawa looked at the moon outside the window in disorder, "So it was him who dreamed, isn't it wrong?"

"I'm sorry." Osamu Dazai apologized helplessly, but not for the content of the dream, but for the fact that he cut off his text messages at the beginning, although his expression did not seem to be sincerely apologetic.

"We are colleagues now, and maybe we will become friends in the future, but I still want to say that you and I are rivals in love. This will not change."

"Sorry." He repeated.

"Well, it's fine if you know it, and you don't have to be so nervous. It doesn't matter." Edogawa Ranbu opened his eyes lazily, "Actually, breaking contact so easily can only prove that the fate between me and him is just like that. , there is no fate, no matter how much you force it, it is useless. So I will not wait for the opportunity to retaliate against you, don't worry, I am not as bad as you. Although it is true that it was hard for the first two days, it will be fine after getting over it, isn't it? Broken love."

"Isn't it lovelorn?" Osamu Dazai looked at him in surprise, then calmed down knowingly, and nodded.

"Yes. As long as Akutagawa is in good health."

"So compared to you, I'm a rotten person?"

"You just suck. You actually deleted all my messages and blocked me. You are too possessive of Akutagawa, which I can't understand. Have you never owned anyone, so seeing Akutagawa is about to completely succeed Are you starting to get flustered?"

"Maybe."

"It doesn't matter, anyway, you are at least ten times more pitiful than me, let's even it out. At least I still have snacks to entertain me." As he said, he stuffed a handful of food into his mouth, and began to chew heartlessly , with a happy expression and a sad tone, "It's all pitiful."

What Edogawa Ranpo said was not unreasonable.Afterwards, the two did not continue to communicate, and after a period of calmness, he was able to fall asleep smoothly and no longer had that kind of dream, but he still brooded over Edogawa Ranpo's analysis.I have never owned it before, so I panicked before I was about to own it, and finally let Akutagawa go, he thought sadly, and at the same time made up his mind that when I meet Akutagawa again in the future, I must calm down, so that Akutagawa will not Will leave because of fear, will always listen to me.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke, who is far away in Russia, still doesn't know what Osamu Dazai is thinking.The time he spent with Dostoyevsky made him almost forget the existence of Dazai Osamu. He talked with him almost every day, and there were even several times when the phone bill exceeded the standard. Feeling unbelievable, I scratched my head dejectedly at the deficit account book, but couldn't figure out why.In her previous opinion, Akutagawa did start to talk to people frequently, but he didn't seem like someone who would chatter for a long time, so why shouldn't there be a deficit in expenses in this regard?

Gradually becoming suspicious, she reported the problem to Mori Ogai.

"Senior Akutagawa almost calls the same person several times a day, and goes out to meet each other every day, but in the past few days it has not been so frequent. I asked Senior Akutagawa, and he said that the person was busy with his career recently, so he couldn't date him every day. I don’t know if it’s because of this reason, I feel that Akutagawa-senpai has become a little idle recently. That person seems to like Akutagawa-senpai very much.”

"How much do you like it?"

"Last time I saw Senior Akutagawa blushing and his neck was burning... The other party seems to be a person who is on our way, but I can't stop the relationship between them. What do you think I should do? Are you listening to Akutagawa-senpai going on like this?"

Mori Ogai said unhurriedly: "The port mafia also has some hostile forces in Russia, and Akutagawa-kun is a very important member. Can be said."

"I'll keep watching."

"Thanks for your hard work. If Akutagawa-kun is deprived of his loyalty, then I will be very distressed." Mori Ogai emphasized with a picky ending. This tone made Higuchi Ichiyo feel more stressed and nervous, so she had no choice to refuse Word.

That night, Ryunosuke Akutagawa received another call from Dostoevsky after a long absence.Although it was only a week of no contact, it was far from the exaggerated rhetoric of long-lost, but for the two who used to talk several times a day, the gap in contact for a whole week was indeed mind-boggling, and it was difficult to sleep or eat. install.

Dostoevsky asked him as if threatening: "I heard that you will leave me without hesitation?"

Akutagawa's expression became displeased: "Where did you hear that?"

"The last time your entourage asked you if you were too affectionate, when you said it was time to leave Russia, you would leave without hesitation."

"You eavesdropped again."

"is it not OK?"

"You are not qualified to do this. You are not your leader, nor your teacher, nor your family or guardian."

"Only these people are qualified to eavesdrop on you?"

Akutagawa Ryunosuke was blocked and didn't know how to answer. After a long silence, he replied: "You heard everything, but you didn't rush over to accompany him, then you are simply committing hooliganism."

"I'm very busy recently, so I can't go to your place for the time being. If you are really bored, I can ask a teammate I met recently to come to you."

"Where did you collude with the cronies again?" He sneered, "I don't need a bunch of stinky men with good looks."

"I'm afraid that person will feel wronged after hearing these words. I admire that person very much. He is outgoing, humorous in conversation, and he is good at Japanese. You don't have to worry about communication problems. If you really want to talk to someone, I can let him He comes with you."

"I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"Okay. Have you stabilized your mood recently? Do you want to listen to a bedtime story? I have carefully prepared a lot of ghost stories, which are guaranteed to scare you out of a heart attack."

"I don't think you're any better than a ghost."

"That's at least better. Compared with the evil ghost, you want me to come to visit you at night, don't you?"

"The sickle and hammer are all ready, just waiting for your night visit to verify for yourself whether this weapon of the working and peasant class works."

"My dear black-eyed Ryunosuke, please act as if I didn't say what I just said."

"Knowledge."

"Tomorrow, I will let the person I just mentioned come to you."

"unnecessary."

"This is not only to keep you from being bored, but also to take care of your safety. You have been safe and sound during your life in Russia because I am protecting you."

"I know you are protecting me...don't bring it up..." His voice gradually faded, he didn't know if it was out of shame or shame, he shrugged his shoulders unconsciously and lowered his face.Because of this movement, he took advantage of the opportunity to see the bug on the inside of the skirt.The bug was obvious, and he could twist up and throw the tiny device as soon as he lifted the collar of his jacket with his fingers, but he never did.

It is so easy to be discovered, Dostoevsky is actually sure that he will not be taken down, and Akutagawa Ryunosuke also hates to know this in his heart.Thinking of this, Akutagawa Ryunosuke was annoyed, cursing Dostoevsky in a low voice, but the hands that were stretched out to take off the bug hesitated.After a while, he closed his eyes and silently took his hand back.As a result, the opened jacket was slowly gathered, silently covering up the bug.

As if seeing Akutagawa's every move, Dostoevsky smiled triumphantly the moment he withdrew his hand.Laughter came through the earpiece, clearly audible.

"Good night."

Akutagawa held his forehead, and said "good night" to him wearily, and then fell into a deep sleep.

--------------------

The author has something to say:

Dazai: Wuwu wants to see Ryunosuke (the head of the tearful cat).

Akutagawa: Oudodostoevsky, why haven't you finished your work (weeping cat cat head).



This is what the title of the chapter refers to.

Tap the screen to use advanced tools Tip: You can use left and right keyboard keys to browse between chapters.

You'll Also Like