[Wen Ye] Hell changes

Years ago, when Ryunosuke Akutagawa was first approached by Osamu Dazai, he was not tidy.Although he has seldom been neat and decent in his life so far, but only at that moment he hopes that his image is clean and lovely, preferably like a princess with a white face who is always confined in a high tower but always refuses to accept the darkness. If so, Osamu Dazai is the knight who came to rescue him.However, in reality, he is messy and dirty.But, at least, at least, Osamu Dazai's gentle smile and eyes can beat the dark night.night.All that the night prepared for him was toads, black dogs and drowned people.

He wasn't sure whether Osamu Dazai's smile and gaze could be called gentle, after all, he had never seen a gentle expression for even a second when he grew up, so he never knew the gentle appearance of human beings, he only knew the man in front of him He has a slender and beautiful figure, a handsome face, a pleasant smile, and the look in his eyes is different from anyone he has met so far.The people he'd met so far had given him looks of disgust or repulsion or fear.Osamu Dazai's eyes didn't have anything to do with these three types, but there were unknown factors that made him want to touch them, so he felt that the man who suddenly appeared in front of him was so gentle.

When he looked at himself against the sparkling stream, he was deeply disgusted by his face.This face reflected in the surface of the stream is like taking poison, the skin is cloudy and pale due to extreme malnutrition, the eye circles are thick with lead black, and the bridge of the nose is very straight, which makes this sick face look even more Indifferent and lonely.If he'd been on drugs, he'd have had those obnoxiously filthy purple gums when he laughed.If he was really addicted, his body would turn cold and swell overnight.As if he had really become like that, he wiped his face vigorously with the stream water, and as a result, his sparse eyebrows were messed up, making him look stern and abnormal, and it is easy for people to react to him at first glance. Sense of distance.

How can such a scary and annoying me deserve to be liked by such a gentle and handsome person?Akutagawa Ryunosuke lowered his head with some guilt, even though Osamu Dazai tried to talk to him several times along the way, he didn't dare to look directly into his eyes.

"It's a little uncomfortable, isn't it, it's okay, this kind of thing still has to be done slowly."

Osamu Dazai didn't force him to do anything, but his seemingly unintentional words moved him beyond measure.

No one ever asked him anything.No one has ever asked for his opinion by adding the questioning suffix of "really" after seeing his sadness, and no one has ever smiled at him so beautifully, it can be said to be shining, and said "it doesn't matter" to him .Osamu Dazai asked him, this is not a child's play, you can't go back on your word, won't you back down?

As early as that time, he had made up his mind to die for this man, but he was unwilling and ashamed to confide a word of his heart.

It just so happened that the moonlight from the upper realm suddenly fell on the lower earth at that time, he was clearly happy and happy in his heart, but he still had a stern face as if he was dissatisfied.

Osamu Dazai brought him back to the Port Mafia just like that.

The buildings of the port mafia soared into the sky, rows of high-rise buildings lined up in groups, and the silver-white buildings reflected light like salt crystals on the skin of seaside travelers under the scorching sun.It was the first time for Ryunosuke Akutagawa to come to such a spacious and tidy place, and it was also the first time he saw so many people, but Osamu Dazai couldn't wait for him to get used to it. Whenever he met anyone, he said that he just picked it up from a slum. my people.

Everyone felt, ah, Osamu Dazai had never taken the initiative to bring anyone back, and it was the first time he had seen someone so actively introduced. The origin of this Akutagawa is not simple.

So Akutagawa Ryunosuke became the focus of all eyes. No matter where he walked, people from the left, right, front and back would look at him. Some people just glanced at him briefly, while others kept their eyes on him for a long time. Ken moved away and looked at it from the beginning to the end. Some people looked at it for a while and then turned around and whispered something to the person next to them.And Akutagawa Ryunosuke just stared at Dazai Osamu's heel without saying a word, and followed behind in a daze.

All he can do is to deeply embed his dim eyes, which are tired of worldly words, into the fine dust raised by every step of Osamu Dazai.

"Wait for me, I have something to do." Osamu Dazai seemed to have triggered some mission suddenly, and temporarily left him.

In fact, Akutagawa didn't know anything about this place, even if he hadn't been instructed, he would have stayed put and waited for Osamu Dazai.

The few people who brushed shoulders with him or stopped at the same place as him have not stopped to discuss.Regarding his appearance, he seems to have heard someone say that he looks cold and seductive.About his life experience, about his strength, about his sick and weak body, he seems to have heard someone say that he may have a back door, otherwise, how could a sick person who has never heard of the name suddenly get the protection of Osamu Dazai? , and without doing anything, he directly got an "official position" in the port mafia, which values ​​real talent and hard work.Many people have struggled in this organization for many years, but they are not as high as Akutagawa's status when he was suddenly picked up.In other words, not everyone is qualified to be a cadre's close subordinate, and they are also disciples who teach them hand in hand.

Everyone began to subconsciously reject and resent Akutagawa.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke said nothing.

Discussions, guesses, reasoning, and even nonsense, both light and heavy, were spread out wantonly, and the shadows of those who passed by him stretched straight on the floor, occasionally turning left and right at some angles, as if The extremely dark giants stomped silently on the petite shadow of Akutagawa Ryunosuke.There are no facial features, no bones, just a group of dark shadows who seem to be puffing out cigarettes while thinking about something about Akutagawa Ryunosuke, and finally gradually walked away and disappeared at the other end.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke just stood here quietly.

"What are you people doing? Don't you have anything to do every day?" A clean and loud reprimand sounded in his ears, and Akutagawa couldn't help turning his gaze to the direction of the source of the sound.A man with brown hair stood next to him at some point, and raised his left hand vigorously like a wing, blocking Akutagawa's face, "How can you chew the new member's tongue behind your back? It's a bit unreasonable, usually you guys Didn't your superiors teach you this?"

As soon as these words came out, those people were a little flustered, and they hurriedly dispersed after saying sorry in a low voice.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke looked at the man's left arm placed in front of him, lost his mind.Does this mean protecting me?He's not sure.

"Are you the child from the slums they mentioned... brought back by Dazai?" Nakahara Nakaya thought for a while, and felt that it seemed inappropriate to call mackerel in front of this new member, so the words came to his lips It was taken back again and changed to a common surname.

Akutagawa didn't reply, just nodded slightly.

"I'm sorry, those people were sneaky just now, but they clearly wanted you to see them talking about you. This is very annoying, so I yelled a little bit fiercely." Zhong Yuanzhong also scratched his hair a little irritably, "Inside None of my subordinates. I will tell their superiors about this and ask them to apologize to you."

"It's okay, actually, I'm already used to this kind of life." He was finally willing to speak, but he only responded indifferently.

He was already used to this.

From birth to now, no matter where he goes, he will be looked at and discussed all the way.

The use of force makes it more difficult for oneself to break free from the mental torture of negative labels, but it seems that one has no ambition and is too cowardly to endure silently.In the final analysis, whatever he does is wrong in the eyes of others.It's wrong to eat rice, it's wrong to drink hot water, it's wrong to have clothes on, it's wrong to walk and sleep, even if he doesn't do anything that disturbs others, others always think he's an eyesore.They couldn't beat him, couldn't afford to offend him, so they had to gossip behind his back in small groups.She was clearly afraid of being heard by him, but she really wanted him to see them talking about him, and then smiled sinisterly.

Ryunosuke Akutagawa lived in the slums for so many years, and every day was eaten by thousands of words.Just passing by a small road, walking ten steps and looking back, there are people laughing and whispering on the road as long as nine steps, and found that Akutagawa Ryunosuke was looking at them, his body movements were afraid to hide, and his expression The expression is proud and arrogant.

ridicule.crowd out.isolated.talk.fear.

What made up his childhood was the desolation, the persecution of wind and frost, and endless loneliness.

"It's interesting to talk at such a young age. How can I get used to this kind of thing? I still don't believe it. Someone in this world would like this?" As if confirming that Akutagawa's brain is not broken, Nakahara also pointed at himself The position of the forehead, "You have to learn to be considerate of yourself, understand?"

"Be considerate of yourself..."

"You just came here, and we don't know you well. We're not the ones who can get along here. You have to prove to us that you are not a flower vase, and you have to deal with people more. Isn't this the most basic thing? Understand? "

"Prove that I'm not a vase..." Akutagawa Ryunosuke murmured thoughtfully after Nakahara Chuya, "Vase...does senior think I'm pretty?"

"Huh?" Zhong Yuan, who hadn't expected to be asked such a question, was also stunned.His body trembled for a moment, and he faltered and said "I don't know, I don't know what it should be" these fragmentary words, his eyes drifted a little, and his tone was very vague.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke fell silent again.Zhong Yuanzhong also secretly glanced at his face while he was silent.

The latter must have sorted himself out properly before coming here, or maybe Osamu Dazai did it. In short, he is no longer the bloody mess he was in the slums, and the indifference in his brows and eyes is also replaced by his attitude towards the new environment. Instead of perplexity and confusion, it is no longer the fierce look that makes people want to stay away at first glance, but after a long time, I feel that he is more fragile than fierce.

The black hair that grows to the shoulders is evenly spread on the left and right cheeks like a fan, and is slapped finely as the master turns his head. The white will spread down smoothly on the shoulder line.Gradient colors and beautiful lines.The nose is straight and upturned, and the side face looks a bit like Monica, the globe flower, and the double eyelids are also delicate and beautiful, which just follow the curve of the eye sockets, forming a half-open curved ring on the top, which is quite cute.

Zhongye's neck became red at this time.Maybe I should go, this is really embarrassing.So he coughed twice, wanted to say goodbye to Akutagawa, and reminded him: "You have to learn..."

Before he finished speaking, a pair of hands stretched out from behind Akutagawa and put them on Akutagawa's shoulders.So Zhongyuan Zhong also immediately changed his face, his irritable appearance was completely different from the gentleness just now.

"Why is it you? So you know my Akutagawa." Osamu Dazai smiled meaningfully.

Akutagawa immediately explained that they just met, and the appearance of the person who was eager to prove to Osamu Dazai that he belonged to him was unpleasant, at least Nakahara could hear Akutagawa's strong respect for Osamu Dazai.

"Well, I don't know why we suddenly met, but Akutagawa is from my side, if you get too close to him, you will infect him with stupidity, and you will be troubled."

"What are you talking about?"

Just as he was about to take a step closer and continue to reply, Akutagawa interrupted and said, "I'm sorry, Mr. Dazai, for making you distressed. I will pay attention to it."

Obviously he was saying that Zhongyuan Zhongye was too close to him, but he wanted to apologize, as if he was actively seducing Zhongyuan Zhongye to come closer.Zhong Yuanzhong also clicked his tongue, as if seeing some unpleasant scene, turned his head away.The topic was cut off respectfully and carefully by Akutagawa, and he lost interest, and then left.

After walking not far, he remembered that he forgot to tell Akutagawa his name.

And, in fact, he wanted to tell Akutagawa just now, you have to learn to be kinder to yourself.

--------------------

The author has something to say:

Whether it's the third time or the second time, I like Akutagawa the most.I have only recently started writing about Wenye’s colleagues. I don’t know if it’s too late, but I’ve been fond of Akutagawa for many years, and I consider myself a senior mustard chef (the macho is shy).

First release 2020/12/15.

Revised 2021/06/23.