An Xia's paintings

Lin Anxia was in a trance all night, and the next day he felt unbearably dizzy. His whole head seemed to weigh a thousand pounds. Lin Anxia opened his eyes in a daze, and stared blankly at the ceiling in the bedroom. He didn't know whether he was awake in a dream or not. .

The phone ringing in my ears seemed to come from far away.Reluctantly stretching out her hand and pressing the answer button, Lin Anxia didn't know what the person on the other end said, nor how she answered.Just thinking blankly, fortunately there will be no classes for the next few days......

Lin Anxia felt that his soul seemed to have left his current body, and he didn't know where he was going. Finally, he came to a dilapidated small apartment, which was not as big as his current bedroom.Everything here is so familiar yet so strange...

Oh, Lin Anxia remembered, he did live here for a while.

He looked down, and found that he had turned into his childhood appearance, with short hands and feet, and a round belly. Lin Anxia was a little curious about his appearance, and wanted to reach out to poke his belly, but found that he couldn't control it. this body...

He felt that he was sitting in a corner of this house, and it was quiet as if there was no one around. Lin Anxia wanted to stand up and take a look at this place, but he couldn't do anything. Suddenly, a door on the right opened , a glamorous woman stepped out of it, she was wearing a fashionable dress, bright lipstick, beautiful and smooth curly hair softly resting on her shoulders.

Lin Anxia felt herself move, and suddenly she stood up from the corner, walking quickly towards that woman, or rather his young mother—Tao Fuxin.

Little An Xia stepped forward, held the corner of the woman's clothes with her small hand, and asked softly, "Mom, where are you going?"

"I want to go out." The woman said without emotion, and then shook off the pair of little hands holding her.

"When are you coming back?"

The child's stubborn questioning seemed to arouse the woman's dissatisfaction, and she turned her head and said coldly: "I won't come back!"

An Xia's small body seemed to be frozen in place by the woman's cold tone. Tears welled up in her big round eyes, and she pretended to calmly say, "You'll come back, right? You'll come back. "

The woman ignored the child at home and slammed the door and walked out.

When the woman slammed the door, she seemed to be angry. The dilapidated wooden door was slammed loudly. Lin Anxia felt that she was shocked by the bang and took a few steps back, before sitting down on the ground again.

Little An Xia said to herself: "I will come back, she will come back..."

Looking at her young self, Lin Anxia felt an inexplicable resentment in her heart. He wanted to wake up that stupid child, to wake him up. This woman's heart is not in this family at all!She no longer has your place in her heart, so what does it matter if she comes back?

Although Lin Anxia yelled hoarsely, wanting to let the child in her body know what she was thinking, she found that she couldn't make a sound at all. He could only watch the child continue to sit back in the corner, talking non-stop : "She will come back, she will be back soon."

Lin Anxia felt a little bit out of strength, and he gradually realized that he had returned to the past, the past where the source of his pain was buried.Lin Anxia carefully looked at the house through the eyes of a child.Many people don't know that his father, Lin Xici, was so embarrassed that he needed to live in such a small and dilapidated small apartment, because at that time he was so poor that he had to sell his gorgeous villa to make ends meet.

During the prosperous days of Lin Xici's career, he met Tao Fuxin, a very famous singer at that time. Both of them were talented rookies in the art world. Lin Xici and Tao Fuxin have never made their relationship public, but they also lived a very happy life, but they don't know what accident happened during that time , Tao Fuxin's voice was damaged, and she couldn't continue to be active in the singing world. At that time, Tao Fuxin was naturally very depressed.Seeing that his beloved was so haggard, Lin Xici proposed to Tao Fuxin. The two got married smoothly and gave birth to the crystallization of love.

Perhaps because her artistic career died halfway, Tao Fuxin gradually faded out of the public's sight after marriage, and devoted herself to raising her husband and raising her children at home.Lin Anxia thought, maybe during the few years when his memory was vague, their family must have had a happy life.

However, the good times didn't last long. I don't know when it started. Lin Xici found that every time he picked up his pen, he couldn't draw anything meaningful. Every day, mountains of waste paper appeared in the trash can in the studio.Lin Anxia still remembered that at that time, he was lying secretly by the door, looking at his father who was sitting silently in the studio.Little Lin Anxia was a little puzzled, obviously that person was his favorite father, but when he looked at his back, he felt so sad.

At that time, Lin Anxia didn't know that it wasn't Lin Xici's back that made him feel uncomfortable, but the deep loneliness reflected from that back.

I don't know how long it took before they moved, from the beautiful and gorgeous small villa, to this small bungalow.

One day, Lin Anxia saw his father carrying a luggage bag, as if he was about to go out.Lin Anxia still remembered that when Lin Xici left, she hugged him very intimately for a while, and also remembered that Lin Xici said to him: "When Dad comes back, we will move back to the big house."

Lin Anxia wanted to tell his father that it didn't matter if he couldn't live in a big house, but he hoped that his father would take him with him wherever he went.It's a pity that Lin Xici didn't know what he was thinking, so he left alone, and never heard from him again.

Later, Xiao Anxia discovered that her mother would secretly hide in the room and weep. The precocious child would always sit in her arms, hug her beloved mother, and gently pat her on the back, trying to make her happy.But gradually, his mother no longer seemed to need his comfort, or even his presence.

Tao Fuxin started to go out frequently, was not at home often, and was often drunk when he came back. An Xia was still young and lacked the basic ability to live. Little An Xia, who lost her mother's care, grew up Cute, turned into a slob, not only that, but also often hungry, the kind-hearted aunt of the neighbor's house saw that Lin Anxia was pitiful, so she often gave Lin Anxia some food to satisfy her hunger. "

He vaguely remembered that the kind-hearted aunt hugged him and complained: "I leave my child at home, and go out to fool around every day, what a crime..."

Lin Anxia didn't know what fooling around meant, but no matter what important things it was, he hoped in his heart that his mother would finish her work quickly and then go home earlier.

But gradually, Lin Anxia also began to wonder whether she really wanted her mother back...

When Tao Fuxin was not at home, Lin Anxia hoped that she would come back soon, but every time she came back, he was a little scared.Because Tao Fuxin, who drank wine, seemed to be no longer the gentle and loving mother, she had become a hand with long nails that would pinch her own arms fiercely, and said something frantically in her eyes that he felt sincerely. Monster with panic words.

"Your dad isn't coming back, he's never coming back. He doesn't want you."

"Mom is leaving too... What should I do if you are the only one left?"

"Does An Xia know what death means? If one day my mother leaves this door and never comes back, then she is dead..."

"At that time, you will be alone."

"........."

Every word Tao Fuxin said seemed to be turned into sharp fragments, piercing his head one by one. Lin Anxia felt very painful and scared. He didn't seem to understand what those words meant, but he didn't. Get in the way of his fear of it.

Lin Anxia wanted to hug her head in pain, but suddenly found that he was standing in front of a wooden door.

The door opposite was very high, even if he was not tall, he couldn't reach the handle even if he tapped his feet.Lin Anxia stared helplessly at the body that was out of her control, and moved a small chair.

He knew what he was going to do. At that time, he wanted to open this door, because his mother was inside, just behind this door. His mother had gone in with an uncle she didn't know for a long time. Lin Anxia felt that she really wanted to see her mother face, so he wants to open this door.

Seeing this, Lin Anxia was trembling anxiously. He wanted to stop himself from unscrewing the lock, but unfortunately he couldn't do anything. Lin Anxia shouted hysterically: "Stop it! That's not what you want to see, stop it. Don't do it if you don't want more pain!"

But... no matter how hard Lin Anxia struggled, he still watched his little hand, twisted the lock, and gently backed away from the door.

That was a scene that Lin Anxia would never forget in his life. He saw his noble and elegant mother, naked, being pressed under another stranger. The two were like a pair of beasts in heat, crazily venting their desires on each other. , the little Lin Anxia stared blankly at the strange man's ugly organs, which kept coming in and out of her mother's body. She was so scared that she fell off the small chair with a pale face. Suddenly, her eyes were dark.

I don't know how long it took before the consciousness gradually returned. Lin Anxia opened her eyes suddenly, and found that her back was already covered with cold sweat.

He knew that he had gone back to the past, back to the memory that he tried hard to forget, but kept making him miserable for countless nights in the future.

Lin Anxia sat on the bed in a daze, he didn't even know what time it was.

Start to recall things later by yourself slowly.

Maybe it was because that scene brought Lin Anxia an unbearable shock. Since then, Lin Anxia has had nightmares every night, and he can't remember exactly what he dreamed of.He often couldn't control the fear that surged up in his heart and yelled. When it was serious, he would even keep hitting the wall with his head, and ignored his mother for a long time, and finally found out that something was wrong with him.

But she never imagined that the mother who kissed his forehead in pain because he hurt herself one second, would send him to that hellish place in the next second.