Autobiography of a paranoid patient

(38)

He didn't explain why he was at school, and I didn't have the energy to ask.

Feng Yue's way of tossing people is very direct, we don't say much.

That day he just glanced over faintly, and unlike the students who joined in the fun around him, he was indifferent, turned his head and said a few words to his friends, and the two left together.

I stood there holding flowers and looked at his back, as if someone was taking pictures, but more people were discussing enthusiastically in surprise.

But it has nothing to do with me, only his back has something to do with me.

So tall and straight, so worthy of following, I have to explain and apologize to him.

So I threw away the sunflower and stood outside the garbage station watching the workers take it away.

The expressions on their faces were almost the same, full of doubt and pity.

Then the flowers were removed, and some of them were separated.

I wonder where those flowers will end up?It's probably in the soil.

Feng Yue pinched my chin and asked me what I was thinking.

I told him I was thinking about that bunch of sunflowers, and he laughed and said I didn't expect you to be so brave.

I shook my head and was dragged into his arms to change positions.

No kisses today.

I looked up to find his lips, but was always avoided.

He pressed the back of my neck and my bony body, without gentle conquest.

I lost my strength, lay bareback on the edge of the bed, and slowly dragged my fingers on the floor.

He came out of the bathroom, leaned over and held my waist and hugged me, my legs were naturally wrapped around his waist.

He asked me, "Are you comfortable?"

I said no, tilted my head and secretly kissed the side of his neck, then looked out the window.

It's going to rain again.

(39)

The rain in the early summer night is still cool.

Only then did I realize that the adjectives in some novels are really not used indiscriminately.

What describes raindrops like beans, it turns out they really do.

Right now I feel like I've been messed up by a pot of beans falling over my head.

In the middle of the night, there was heavy rain, and no one was on the road except me.

My place was very empty, and I could just see the window of his room when I looked up.

I left after he was fast asleep.

I lay alone on the sofa in the living room without turning on the lights or making a sound.

There was a crack under the door, and the light leaked until two or three o'clock in the morning, so I was a little anxious.

The rain has almost stopped before I go to bed.

I had no idea he had to work in his room for so long.

When the thread-like light finally went out, a bolt of lightning flashed in the sky outside the window.

I pushed the door open with the sound of thunder.

(forty)

Cold is cold, really cold.

I trembled, like a poplar tree in spring, except that instead of catkins all over the sky, drops of water fell all over the ground.

The water droplets were carried away by the rain again.

I don't know how long I stood there, but I felt that the rain was obviously getting lighter, and the window I had been looking at turned on a light.

Is it almost dawn?

I looked up and down again.

Obviously not.

(41)

I swear I'm punishing myself.

But when Feng Yue came out of the corridor with an umbrella and handed me the lit cigarette in his hand, I felt that I was punishing him.

The rain had subsided and was pattering, but Feng Yue's umbrella did not cover me.

He frowned and asked me in a deeper voice, "What are you doing?"

He was angry.

I think.

"That day I accompanied Miao Shu to confess to that girl. I wrapped the flowers. I never thought she would like me." I said.

"Do you think I care?" Feng Yue asked back.

I took another drag on my cigarette.

The smoke did not travel very far in the rain.

Only then did I have the strength to say the next sentence.

"Whether you care or not is your business, and whether I explain it or not is my business."

I looked down at the toes of his shoes.

"I hope you punish me, sir."

He got closer, and my world turned upside down the next moment.