[sherlock] Spirit and flesh

I have been sitting on the train for a long time, the weather outside the window is still so bad, it is worse than London, which is already bad enough, I have been away from the big dye vat with dragons and snakes for 3 hours, but my heart is getting worse I am restless and uneasy, not because the manor I am going to is full of doubts and dangers, but because the goddamn Holmes told me a very shocking confession 2 days ago.

This bastard is actually thinking about how to break me during the depression period of less than two months after I was widowed! ! ! !

I lowered my head and turned the cup in my hand. The coffee was going to be completely cold. The weather was very cold, and it seemed that the days of snow were not far away.

I admit that I have never really known Holmes, I think he is a good man, he is even more a great man, a man full of human touch, even a very romantic man, he is my double-edged partner, I I am the best friend in the world, but his personality is really weird, which is his biggest shortcoming. I can't always guess his true thoughts in his heart, and even the way he works always confuses me. He can see clues that I can't see, and he can completely unravel around one thing, and I can only learn everything from him until the end of the case.I must have seemed a complete fool to him.

His lovers have always been his job and that has never changed, he is a man who does not seek love, let alone sex, he has never been in a serious relationship, and has never had a serious girlfriend , now that he suddenly offered to make me interested in him for the first time, I somehow feel that this is an absolute disaster for me, a disaster that has fallen on me in the name of Sherlock Holmes.

I raised my head and glanced at him furtively. I have never been so afraid of him. He sat across from me, focusing on his mobile phone. Thank God, he didn’t use his burning gaze like the previous few days. Chasing me around, like a hawk chasing me, a poor innocent rabbit, God knows how hard it is for me to avoid his eyes.

His eyes are foggy, and when they meet good light, they will reflect a light blue light, like two diamonds. Of course, I will not abruptly say in my blog that I accidentally found mine in the morgue today. My partner has a pair of electrocuted eyes, and I am a recorder, not an erotic novelist.

The rented farmhouse is very clean and tidy. The second floor is very spacious. My room has large windows and plenty of light. The downstairs is very empty. There is no furniture in the living room. When I walk past, I can hear the echo of footsteps, and there is only one left in the dining room. The next dining table and two chairs, I occupied one of them, and I had to run over to eat at the manor next door for three meals a day. After Sherlock took the table once, I didn’t go because I couldn’t let him have it. Chance, in front of the owner, harshly exposed the episode of his wife's affair.

I fell in love with their chef completely. After I took a bite of the fried lamb chops, I was speechless on the spot. I almost ran out to the town to buy a new ring and go to their place In the kitchen below, there is a surprise for the beautiful 60-year-old cook. I have been married twice and don't care about one more time.

Actually, I'm not as good at housework as people think, I'm married and have to do the dishes occasionally, and occasionally do the weeding, I admit I can hang the clothes, I can use the goddamn clothes rack, but that's about it. Well, the ingredients I can get can only barely support a single man from starving to death in daily life. I can’t even make pasta, let alone roast chicken, let alone those soft and delicious white cakes. I believe I can do my best The ultimate is tea, Sherlock loves it, I don't like tea, but he does, and he's convinced that something in the tea can replace his cocaine if he drinks enough of it.

After dinner, I took a walk with him under the cherry tree, and he hinted to me that the ghost man was one of the manor’s family members, but he hadn’t identified who it was, and the owner’s cousin had come to look for us secretly. I told a heart-pounding story about the treasure buried under the manor. The cousin told it very sincerely and very touchingly. I could see the tears in her eyes. No matter what Holmes thought, I accepted it anyway. Believe everything.

I was wandering under the leaves with my hands behind my back, and Sherlock disappeared from my side in a blink of an eye. My eyes widened, and I turned around in a circle at a loss, feeling instantly terrified. I thought he had stepped on the air. In what trap, I keep running around in the cherry bushes, I keep looking for him, I start shouting his name, damn it, the world can make me look like an idiot in the leaves There will never be more than two men shouting their names, one is my father who died young, and the other is the heartless Holmes.

I took out my phone but I hesitated, since he didn't fall into any pit, it means he was invited away by the case, I can't disturb him, I have to get out of this forest by myself, and then bored in our farmhouse depressed Sit for a day, until he shows up voluntarily.

Why does it have to be me every time I wait? !

Fortunately, I still have ordinary people's way of entertainment. Even though I have lived with weird people for a long time, my personality and hobbies still remain normal. I happened to meet a stable boy in the manor, and then I borrowed a horse from him. Chiliu climbed up, I have to say that I have not ridden a horse since I came back from the battle, I took the reins, sat on my white pony, and leisurely paced the lawn of the manor, the loose afternoon sun hit It fell on me very warm and comfortable.

I smiled, Holmes go to hell, he might be fighting the enemy, but I am here walking the horse easily, this is what he asked for, isn't it, the sharpshooter John Watson is here, right next to him, he just He will regret it if he doesn't take me with him.Thinking of this, my mood suddenly changed from sunny to cloudy, and instantly became hazy and heavy. I thought I should give him a call to confirm his location and his safety.

I can't lose him again, for the second time.

During the two years when he cheated to death, my orbit deviated from him. I used to revolve around him, and then I revolved around another pregnant woman. She died of illness shortly after giving birth to a daughter for me. Recall The past made me very heartbroken, and that heart-wrenching feeling hit my body again.

I can't think about it anymore.

I will not collapse, no blow can make me collapse, I may live a little blind and lose myself, but I will never collapse, my perseverance exceeds Holmes' definition of me, and I can continue without him Moving forward, I have been living strong until now, to the age when I am calm in life.

I'm two years older than Sherlock, he's 36, and I'm 38, and I've never had a birthday, but he managed to find my exact date of birth and my stupid kid name.

I will not allow him to call me Hamish, I warned him sternly, but fortunately he took me seriously enough, he did whatever I said, I hate this name, how silly this nickname sounds, like a bird Pet names, even as a joke, Sherlock still calls me doctor from time to time, but I stopped running my clinic a few years ago, my life has changed, and now my second wife Gone from me, she took something from my heart, and she is buried with her.

The more I think about it the sadder it gets, I can't let go of a lot of things, that's why I've been in constant contact with my therapist, I've contacted her to get some legal sleeping pills, I never tell her half the truth.

Just when I was hurting here, my horse was suddenly frightened, and the disobedient hoofs galloped forward desperately. I hugged the horse's neck in surprise, and found that there was a trace of ammunition on my saddle. I am familiar with the traces of the bullets. I tightened the reins, trying to stabilize the poor pony. Then two bullets swept across my back with the sound of wind. My heart was pounding. I pulled out my revolver from my waist, sat upright on the galloping horse, and scanned the fence wall that kept shooting bullets at me.

I found a swaying leaf, and fired two shots. The thunderous shots frightened the horse even more. It threw up its front hooves, and I lost my balance on the saddle. I tipped sideways and then rolled onto the grass, a pain in my back and I thought I'd fall and be crippled.

The cowardly horse fled far away, to a place I couldn't see. I lay on the grass and couldn't get up for a long time, and my vision was a little blurred. Not far away ran towards me.

"John!"

I was lifted up by him and lay in his arms, staring at my eyes and dizzy, I turned my head to look at the grass and realized that the back of my head had hit a rock, and the rock was full of my blood.

"... Someone is going to kill me."

"You shot her and she died! You got revenge! Guess who it was, it was a girl, someone you never thought of, she came to you mysteriously and I told you, oh My John, are you all right?"

I looked at his outline vaguely, I could hear the anxious tone in his tone, I managed to wake myself up and talk to him, but I couldn't, my head seemed to collapse, and my ears were buzzing Crackling, I finally couldn't hold it anymore and passed out.

When I woke up again, I couldn't tell the difference between day and night, the curtains were drawn tightly, and a lamp was on at the head of the bed. I turned my head and found Sherlock sitting on the edge of my bed, with his arms lying on the mattress, that extremely intelligent head Resting in my arms, with an oxygen mask on my face, but I felt better, no pain, and I frowned, aware of the bandages around my head.

I raised my weak hand and put it in Sherlock's hair. I don't know how long he has guarded me. The soft curly hair made my heart beat faster. I thought, I have known him for so long in my life. , For such a long time, I have never touched his head so intimately. I grabbed his hair a few years ago purely to fight with him, and my fingers are filled with his gentle hair.

I'm well aware of his up and down situation.

It is true that I deliberately left him alone for 9 years.