[sherlock] Spirit and flesh

After I filled him with semen, the milky white liquid flowed out from his entrance, and fell down to the sheets, forming a straight milky white stream. The scene was so beautiful that I couldn't speak, and John went limp On the mattress, arms spread, sweat glistening down the back.

He was panting there, and I kissed his ten little toes, each toe was unspeakably precious to me, their fleshy little toe belly still had the quiver after orgasm, I Kissing his sweaty calf, slowly ravaging his buttocks with my lips, I tasted the slap prints left on his buttocks, the faint crimson color, the fingers are very clear, I kissed the sweat on his shoulder blades and teeth marks, and then imprinted a good night greeting on the back of his head, I lay heavily beside him, sighed contentedly, in a happy mood, I looked at the beautiful chandelier on the ceiling.

My mind is full of reminiscing about the sex steps just now, the way John holds the erotic dildo couldn't be cuter, the angry and longing expression, the empty and pleasurable cry, everything is so unforgettable to me.

I looked back at him and smiled, "John, you could even hear the neighbor next door when you yelled just now."

John buried his head in the cushion and mumbled, "Damn it, I can't help it."

He has been afraid to look at me, I have to turn his face, my fingers caress the texture of his forehead, I touch his still hot cheek, I sweep his wet soft mouth, this is my last Touching him so intimately, for a whole 12 months, I can still deeply recall the situation that night. My fingertips have been subconsciously remembering the touch of his skin and his temperature. How sweet it was at the beginning, the memory How heartbroken it makes me.

John pouted, lying prone beside me, and he muttered, "Sherlock, do you know how much I love you?"

I was stunned for a few seconds by his sudden confession. Although John was active and enthusiastic, it was not easy for his stubborn little mouth to actively say that he loved me. I applauded carefully. Looking at his precious confession, he whispered back: "You just told me how much you love me."

"Well..." John hesitated, then turned over, threw himself into my arms, put his hands on me, and sighed in satisfaction, "If you don't make love to me for the rest of your life, how many beautiful things will we miss? .”

I froze for another moment, "John, what do you mean by that, I'd better have sex with you all the time?"

John grunted, "Ha, Sherlock, you're right, we should have more interactions like this when you're young and strong."

"Oh."

John opened his eyes, looked at my face, and said: "But even without sex, I'm still so infatuated with you, Sherlock, sex is just an accessory in the end, and one day, none of us can do it , you are old, and I am old, and none of us will be able to get excited. At that time, you will know that it is better to have sex than to have nothing, but if it is not, it will not affect us."

"Really." I can't imagine such a long-term thing, old?I can't imagine what I will look like when I get old. Maybe what John described before is right. After I get old, I might just stay in 221B and guard my sofa, guard my case files, and guard my John. Nowhere. go.

John gradually fell asleep in my arms, my knees intertwined with his knees, he snored between my arms, the snoring sound was not disturbing, his trachea was not very good, and there was a gurgling in his nasal cavity Now that I think about it, how much I miss the sound of him sleeping soundly, the heart-piercing miss, every night I lie on the lonely bed alone, trying to find other things with my genius brain I use pictures to fill my loneliness, but John can never be replaced by anything else. I miss him all the time, every night we sleep together, the sound of his nose flapping, and the breath of his breath. The more I felt that his breath dissipated around me and slipped away from my life, the more panicked and lonely I felt.

I quietly raised a pillow under my arm to make John's breathing easier, I put a thin blanket over us, reached out to turn off the bedside lamp and chandelier, and kissed his sweaty fingers in the dark Head, I rubbed his ring finger, where the ring I gave him had already been worn.

When I got up in the morning, John and I sat in the restaurant on the first floor of the hotel. He ordered a grouse and sipped a glass of wine slowly. I can still remember the situation at that time, and every detail I vividly remember, I watched him chewing food intently, he saw the roast grouse with a knife and fork, dipped a little bit of truffle foam, and filled his small mouth, I was really surprised that I didn’t touch his upper lip at that time Stained with oil, with a kiss imprinted on the expression of puffed cheeks eating deliciously, he is so touching and cute.

I will always remember that day, when I sat across from him, my brows were frowned, and I had something on my mind. I was going to a secret base in the suburbs, but I was not too happy to bother my John.

"I don't want to take you there. This is a very dangerous investigation." I stared at him, unable to think of any more reasonable excuses to refuse him. The more I refused him, the tighter he would follow.If I use lies and tricks to distract him, I'm afraid of making him sad.

John stared at me. "It would be my greatest honor if I could help you, Sherlock. I won't go unless you make me go."

It is undoubtedly cruel for him to drive him away, just as cruel as the last time I used a conspiracy to trick him when I faked my death, it was a betrayal of my friendship with him, it was a betrayal of the trust between me and him But I regret it in retrospect now, I wish he would hate me forever, I should have cold-bloodedly let him go away at that time, away from me, this arrogant, arrogant and dangerous bastard.

But I swear with all my life that no matter whether it is life or death, I cannot bear the pain of being separated from John.

"Okay, John, take your pistol, and it's better to have two boxes of spare bullets." I looked serious, and my heart filled with endless emotion: "John, thank you."

John stared at me with wide eyes, I will never forget that innocent look in my life, there was a shy smile hidden in the corner of his mouth, the shyness could not be completely hidden under my nose: "What did you just say?"

"I said, thank you, John, not for this one thing, but for everything, you always care about my health, you pay attention to my diet, and take care of my daily life, but I always lose my temper with you, Instigated and hurt you without restraint, I... want to thank you for always being by my side."

Embarrassed by what he said, John nodded and said, "It's nothing, Sherlock, I'm willing. You were so sentimental this morning."

I was in a heavy heart at that time, and I already had some ominous premonition, but I couldn't realize that the future would be so cruel to me and my John. Fate dropped a cruel hammer and broke me and John. The closely connected link, the part that belongs to happiness, that morning, there were always some things that I couldn't let go of, and I haven't let go until today.

I still remember the few minutes before I made that decision that I will regret for the rest of my life, John and I were huddled behind the snow-covered armored vehicle, behind the white snowdrifts, he was shivering slightly from the cold, his mouth White mist kept coming out of the room, I stretched out my leather-gloved hands, and covered his little ears that were about to freeze. John has been lying here with me for almost an hour and a half without complaint. Snow fell on his shoulders.

I kissed his frostbitten forehead and whispered the most wrong words in his ear: "You and I split up, John, you go through the back of the building and around the edge of the woods, I'll take When I get what I want, I will meet you there. Remember, don't alarm anyone, is your pistol loaded with a suppressor?"

John fiddled with his little head vigorously in my hand, "Be careful, Sherlock." He said obediently, licking his dry lips, I know he is thirsty, but we don't have water on us, my heart I figured I'd have to move fast so I could get John out of this hellish place in the middle of nowhere and get him into a cozy hotel chair to warm up to the fire and drink his favorite drink.

I kissed his lips hard again, and John was amused by me, "You were not so clingy in previous actions."

"I'm really worried, John, I miss you very much, but the two of us walking in the open space together will become a very easy target, you and I can only say goodbye temporarily, remember, John, take your steps lightly, I know that you can do it, I know that you are brave and good at fighting, use your battlefield experience reasonably, and avoid all dangers as much as possible."

John regained his resolute demeanor. He pursed his lips tightly and looked at me with blazing eyes. He was about to raise his hand to salute me. He nodded again, and I let go of his cheeks, turned around and escaped into the vast snow field. middle.

I should have looked back at him more at that time, even if I took one more look, but I didn't. I focused my attention on the front of me, where there were two base personnel watching the wind, and I turned my attention Concentrating on their stupid waists, staring firmly at the distance between their fingers and their holsters, I quietly passed behind them and sneaked into the heavily guarded office.

It took me 6 minutes to crack the password of the safe and get the USB flash drive inside. I ran out. At this time, I subconsciously raised my head to check the two base personnel standing guard again. I found that they had disappeared. I I remember my mood at that time, the feeling that my heart sank into my stomach and couldn't beat, I was like a poor egg frozen by snow, my hands and feet seemed to be bound, I tried my best to go along the wall and head towards the woods in a frenzy. Running to the edge, I realized that there were several rows of footprints on the route I ran, and there were traces of hiking boots worn by base personnel. From them, I recognized the familiar footprints, the deep and shallow marks.

That's what John left when he had a snowball fight with me in his pajamas in the backyard of my old house.

I ran to the edge of the woods along the chaotic footprints, and my brain suddenly collapsed, just like the snow on the tree branches was knocked down, my vision was blurred due to excitement, I tried my best to let go within 3 seconds. My sight and reason became clear at the same time. John was not waiting for me at the agreed place with me. He had no reason to leave me. Seeing his footprints, I felt a great feeling of fear in my heart.

I have never been so scared, even when I was standing on the top of that tall building, I kept thinking about the long farewell I had with John on the top floor of the Barts Medical College, my I already knew that I would be separated from him for a long time, and I cried at that time, and John also knew that my tears were sincere.

I don’t know why in my ears, I always think of me and John playing in the snow at Christmas, laughing and laughing, I fell on him, blocking his view of the sky, I stared at his flushed cheeks , I always wanted to give him a kiss in my heart, a kiss that surprised and fell into him.

The snow was falling on top of my head, my shoes were so deep in the snow that it was difficult to get out, but I ran as hard as I could, and then I heard an irreversible gunshot and was shocked In the entire forest, a large amount of snow collapsed, as if the consciousness in my brain was collapsing crazily.

I stretched out my hand to hold onto the tree trunk next to me, my arm kept shaking in the snow, I pulled myself together, and analyzed the direction of the gunshot with the last bit of almost fragmented wisdom, it was not John’s gunshot, John’s pistol had a The silencer I installed myself couldn’t make such a big noise, I comforted myself while running, John is a sharpshooter, he will smash the enemy’s eyes before they can do it, he can do it, because he is my best assistant!

I ran through the messy weeds, the sound of the wind swept past my ears, the cold was like a knife cutting, my scarf was accidentally left behind, but I had no time to care about it, I jumped on a landslide, suddenly stopped my figure, I Quickly squatting down behind the haystack, within sight, John was forced to kneel in the snow. His knees were bleeding, staining a snowflake red. This was the main reason for him to kneel down and surrender. Otherwise, my stubborn John would never easily surrender to the enemy. His hands were forced to be raised high, and there were more than two rifles around his head. The base personnel who rushed to support from other positions also gathered together, a total of 6 people, 4 straight guns were spinning around John's head, and the other two were using the walkie-talkie to contact the higher-ups.

From their dialogue on the walkie-talkie, I understood at this moment that John was not discovered because of careless words and deeds. I was concentrating on cracking the password in the building at that time, and I didn't notice that someone had already discovered me and was in danger As he approached me, John found that the base personnel were ambushing me outside the building when he walked through the building. As long as I walked out, I would definitely die. In order to protect my safety, John made a sound to lure them away.

He pushed himself into a desperate situation for me!

I grabbed the blades of grass in the snow in pain, took off my leather gloves, and took the pistol out of my pocket. I suppressed the trembling and kept myself from losing control. I took a deep breath, raised my arms steadily, and pointed the gun to the ground. One of them was targeted, but I realized that one of my bullets can only kill one person, and the other three guns may go off at any time and hurt my John.

My palms were sweating, but I refused to let go of my aim.

How I wish John would have sensed that I was right next to him, and I was racking my brains for hints so he could dodge at least two rifles while I fired and caused confusion.

I was very nervous, for fear that John would be hurt again. I kept paying attention to the injury on his knee. The bleeding made my heart bleed, and his strong appearance of enduring the pain broke my heart. I learned from the content of the walkie-talkie that soon more base personnel will be dispatched to search the entire forest in a large area, just to find out my accomplice.

They began to question John in despicable ways. They insulted John's personality with broken English in an attempt to annoy him. They pushed his back and shoulders at gunpoint, humiliating his dignity, but John gritted his teeth and stared at them He didn't say anything, he didn't avoid his eyes, and he didn't show a look of fear, just like a sheep that was cornered, he stubbornly confronted the wolves' fangs with his tenacious gaze.

Someone hit him hard on the head with the butt end of a rifle, and John almost fell into the snow. I almost couldn't help but rushed out at this moment, and my raised knee fell back hard into the snow Here, I desperately searched for loopholes that could be broken through. I recalled why I was discovered by these little guys. I recalled which step I underestimated the enemy and made a mistake. I realized that I might have been followed from the beginning. The moment I stepped off the plane at the private airport, I was afraid I was being watched.

When I thought of this, I immediately turned my head, but it was too late, a black and hard muzzle was pressed against the back of my head.

"I haven't seen you for many years. You will be fine." The head of the base ordered me to stand up with a gun. I quickly turned around, stood up straight, took a step back, stretched my arms, and pointed the gun at him as well.

He shook his head in heavily accented English and said: "It's useless, Holmes, if you shoot, your dear companion will die with you, you killed me, but my subordinates will not let you go. "

I know his face, I will always know him, he buried me alive many years ago, chained me into the cellar and tortured me to extract a confession, but I never had the chance to avenge him, my brother disguised himself and sneaked into his organization, came to rescue me back to London, and after a few years, I still had to face the day with him.

He is not a criminal with a high IQ, but he is no worse than other devils. His military power cannot be underestimated. He controls most of Serbia. He can trigger international wars at any time. Even my brother is afraid of him. , I will be followed by him, I think, he should have used some kind of military means to coerce the people on my brother's side, and obtained top-secret information about my actions.

I slowly walked backwards out of the bushes. When John saw me, he couldn't help calling out to me. Hearing his voice, a flame of anger burst into my heart. How dare these people treat my John like this? I even had thoughts The urge to kill them all.

John killed people for me, and I killed people for John. Although we rarely mentioned these things in person, he and I always remembered them in our hearts. We have more deep bonds with each other than anyone in the world can imagine. .

Then, as expected, John was beaten in order to restrain me. They treated John as if I was me, and they punched him. Their demonic fists hit John's cheekbones one after another, and John spat bloody saliva to the side, still staring at me with that resolute look, without showing any sign of admitting defeat.

When I saw him suffering like this, my heart ached, but I couldn't show any worry on my face, no, I had to be ruthless, pretending that John was an object to me, I lowered my eyes and listened I heard the sound of John enduring the beating, he was enduring it so as not to distract me.

My back is full of sweat, and my arm holding the gun has long been numb, but I have been insisting on pointing the gun at my enemy. I look at this leader with a blank face, and I met another in my detective career. A ferocious and tyrannical dragon, I wish I could tear him apart.

I said: "You can't use him to threaten me. I don't care about him. He is just my assistant. What I care about is the contents of the USB flash drive. You know that if you hurt me, someone will notice it immediately. By then None of you can escape punishment."

He spotted me almost effortlessly, and he said, "But Holmes, how could you sleep in the same hotel and room with someone you don't care about? After the revival and return of Serbia, people all over the world know your feelings for John Watson. For whom did you have the perseverance to escape from the hands of death several times? For whom did you insist on going back? You were here back then, in our In your hands, what do you rely on to survive in this hellish cold environment? Not only your talent, we all know that your weakness is him, and your motivation for survival is also his. I read a lot of news, and many , your names have always appeared together, never separated. Is he still someone you don't care about? I don't believe it."

After he said that, he raised his gun very comfortably, and fired at John. John held his injured arm, and I frantically blocked in front of John, aiming the pistol at the devil's forehead, "Stop." I I heard my voice trembling.

He spread his hands under my threat, and his men kept their rifles on John's head, and the demon shrugged and said, "Look, Holmes, it doesn't take much effort to prove his importance, U disk Give it back to me, and I'll give him back to you."

"You let him go first, and then I'll give you the U disk."

"You know, I don't like to be wordy, and there is a most convenient solution, that is, I will kill both of you, and then find the USB flash drive from your corpses."

I squatted down and rolled in the snow a second before he raised the gun to point at me. I heard several gunshots, and I turned around. John was kneeling there, blinking blankly at me. All of a sudden, I broke down at this moment, I ran towards him, and the others moved away with mocking smiles, and before I hugged him, there was a sharp pain in my ear, and a few bullets across my cheek and My body, I immediately fell to the ground, still far away from John.

John fell asleep in a pool of blood. I looked at his fingers trembling in the blood. His fingertips were covered with a thin layer of snowflakes. I struggled to crawl towards him.

My back was trampled, and a sharp pain knocked me down. The head lifted the sole of the shoe, pressed the back of my head, and said contemptuously: "Don't care about him? Huh? Then you sure don't mind how I treat him corpse."

"That's enough! U disk! I'll give it to you!" I reached into my pocket with frozen hands, pinched the hard object, raised the object in my hand, and pulled open its tab without hesitation. The thing rolled between my fingers and fell into the snow, and the men yelled in panic, "Fuck the grenade!"

Then they fled in all directions like flies being chased away.

I watched the smoking fuse of the grenade, got up at the critical moment, and threw the grenade in the direction they were running.

The woods suddenly burst into flames, screaming endlessly, like hell, blood-red smoke and severed limbs fell in the snow, and some pieces of meat hung on the frosted branches, staining the icicles on the treetops red.

I knelt on my knees amidst the horrific explosion and flames, and crawled towards John. I hugged his body with trembling arms, his face was frozen by the snow, and I swept away his facial features with my fingers. I hugged his blood-stained cheek tightly, and kissed his stiff lips hard. I wanted to call his name, but nothing but crying came out of my throat.

I raised my hand to cover his skull pierced by bullets, the sticky blood was still hot, the black blood flowed terribly, staining his innocent face, his blood was so warm, but his body was It was so cold, for a moment I couldn't see the outline of his cheeks, it was my turbulent tears, I squeezed his left hand wearing the wedding ring I gave, and put it to my mouth to breathe hard, I think he must be It's freezing in this world of ice and snow, John is afraid of the cold, I know that, he goes out for a walk in winter, and buys a cup of coffee to warm his hands from time to time.

I tried everything I could but couldn't warm his fingers, I was as fragile as a fallen child, hugging my tattered teddy bear, I hugged him and let my tears of collapse fall, "John... "I finally heard my voice squeeze out of my vocal cords, but it was quickly drowned out by crying. How I wish my mother could appear beside me, stroking my hair and coaxing me to say, Sherlock, everything It's just a nightmare. After you wake up, John will wake up in my arms with that warm smile.

It's a prank, it must be John playing a prank on me.

I tore off my coat and covered his stiff body. I took off my suit and tore the vest inside. I meticulously bandaged the wound on his head with the broken cloth. I didn’t allow myself to give up. I wrapped my hands around his bleeding area, put my hands on his chest, and performed heart compressions for him that I could remember in tears. I pressed on the top of his ribs, and kept calling Calling his name, "I won't let you die, I won't let you die, John Watson, I won't let you die." I repeated this sentence over and over again, willfully, just like any savage and unreasonable thing I said to John before. requirements.

Like I told him not to think behind me, like I told him he must buy me milk, like I told him to cross half London to read a text in front of me, like I told him to be home at 6 o'clock He has to go home at 6 o'clock.

I feel the numbness of my fingertips, the strength disappears from my arms, I can't tell the world around me, I can't tell, I can't tell if I'm alive or dead, but I'm in pain My heart reminds me that I am still alive.

I don't know when the helicopters and fire trucks show up, I can't tell how much time has passed, I remember them separating me from John and taking my John from me, I remember when they put white cloths on John's cheeks I protested, and I yelled loudly: "He's not dead, you idiots, save him."

Someone seemed to have slapped me, and when I came to my senses, I stared at Mycroft with blurred eyes, I angrily raised my fist and punched him, Mycroft turned sideways, avoiding my useless tactics. Assault, he took a step closer to me, pinched my tear-wet chin, and gave me a warning: "Don't you realize you're bleeding, my brother, you're shot in the shoulder, don't you feel it?"

I blinked and looked down. My shirt was soaked with blood. It wasn't John's blood that stained me. It turned out to be my own blood. Ignoring it, Mycroft pushed me into the ambulance involuntarily, and I suddenly felt dizzy and passed out.

When I woke up, my mood was very calm. It was placed on the screen of the instrument beside my hospital bed. The heart rate was extremely stable. I took a deep breath in the oxygen mask. After a while, I calculated in my mind, probably For about 12 minutes, I sat up with my willpower, dropped the oxygen mask, and pulled out the infusion tube in my arm. The heartbeat monitor issued a warning, and the red alarm on the bedside lamp flashed instantly. There was a hemostatic bandage on my shoulder, and I still felt some numbness on my thigh, but I was able to stand upright. I pushed open the door of the ward and walked out. The scene outside came into my eyes, and I recognized where it was. of London.

I was walking in the corridor of the hospital, the anesthetic was gradually dissipating, my shoulder was in excruciating pain, and I felt a splitting headache, enduring the pain, I staggered out of the yard, I just wanted to move forward, I haven't decided where I'm going, but I think, I'm going to go forward, go straight, go back to the snow, I left something in the snow, I'm going to go back to the snow Precious things picked up.

There is no trace of white snow in the yard outside, my brain is in a state of chaos, I try to recall where and what I fell, I try to recall why I was so anxious, I fell, this I couldn't get up when I fell, and I turned around at the bottom of the steps, looking up at the clear blue sky of London in agony, and I kept thinking about the snow, and something else vaguely haunting me.

I was very sad and depressed. I lay down for a long time, until a nurse ran over, hurriedly put me into a wheelchair, and then covered me with a blanket.

Half an hour later, Mycroft appeared in my ward. He was wearing a black suit and a black tie. He stood by the window and stared heavily at the green outside. He said that London had not snowed for several months, and the climate He is relentlessly heading toward Xia Tian.

But I was trapped in the haze of winter, and I felt chills all over my body.

I was sitting in a wheelchair, looking for something, and it took me a long time to realize that I was looking for John.

I remembered, I felt lost after waking up, it was because I didn't see John, it was him that I fell in the snow, and the memory suddenly came to my mind, my brain throbbed when I regained my clear thinking , sad emotions tearing my heart.

When I was sick or seriously injured, he was usually there. He would watch over me all night, holding my hand and refusing to let go. When I woke up in a daze in the middle of the night, I would see him sleeping beside the bed He will take care of me with all his heart, and take care of me like my little girlfriend.

But this time I was seriously injured, but he was not there. I remembered that my John was also injured. I looked up at Mycroft, and I tried to ask him about John's whereabouts.

Mycroft turned his head and walked towards me silently. His tall figure blocked most of the light. He picked up my pale hand in the shadow of the backlight, and held my hand after I fell, just like when he was playing with me when I was a child. My hand lifted me up, he loosened my clenched fist with his fingers, and placed a smooth wedding ring from his pocket onto my palm.

"Sorry, Sherlock," he whispered.

I stared at the wedding ring in a daze for a long time, and after a few seconds, I could speak intermittently: "Ah, I remembered, this is for John." My voice was dry, like a broken gramophone, I kept staring at the ring The lettering on the inside, that's me and John's initials, I once said that the two names are meaningless if they don't overlap.

"Why take it off John's fingers? He'll be mad if he doesn't have it."

"You've been in a coma for 7 days and his body has been cremated, I think, you're going to want to keep this."

After that, Mycroft patted my shoulder with a generous palm, "I am also very sad, Sherlock, I didn't expect you to suffer such a thing."

I raised my head and looked at him coldly, I had no time to distinguish his sincerity, I was tired, very tired, I leaned back on the wheelchair, the window was so beautiful, the sun was shining, and the grass was full of hope , but this beauty and fragrance are worthless in my eyes.

Three hours later, free from Mycroft and all outsiders, I sat alone in the fire stairwell with my automatic pistol in my hand.

I touched the loaded gun case repeatedly in the dim light, wondering where my John was left at this moment, where did he go, and whether there was any pain in that place?Will he miss me as much as I miss him.

How could I lose him?How could I be so careless, I am obviously an incomparable person, John has said so, but how I can get John out of sight, this is really unbelievable.

I should have cared for him in the palm of my hand like a small unhatched eggshell studded with gems, I should have devoted all my years to love him, and I should have loved him with all the rest of my time Dedicated to him, but now I can't even hold his hand.

"It's not too late...John...it's not too late..." I clenched my pistol tightly, trembling uncontrollably, I thought I could spend the rest of my life with John, until all the flowers were gone and my hair was gray, I recalled my I have read the poems that have been deleted from my memory long ago, trying to find a trace of warm comfort from them. I sadly find that all the moving languages ​​in the world can't save me from the quagmire of pain.

All I need is a smile, a John Watson smile.

I think back to when I was 27, the day before I met John, and I was searching for sludge and rust like a bum in Manchester's shipyards, if I hadn't taken the early bus back to Buzz to play with my Experimental equipment, then I will miss John.

Then my dear Watson, my dear doctor...will not be in the dire situation we are in today.

I want to ask John if he regrets meeting me,