The helplessness of the carousel

35.

Without Chunjin's room, it always looks so empty, so cold...

I sat in the room blankly, looking at this set, Chunjin's meticulously decorated room, I felt a little moved.

I remember that when I gave this house to Chunjin, I promised that this would be our future home, but what happened?

I gave Chunjin a home and a dream, and in the end I destroyed everything with my own hands.I pampered him on the clouds, and then cruelly pushed him down...

After chatting with Dongwan, I thought a lot, and finally admitted, yes, I fell in love with Chunjin, and after thinking back on all the things I did to Chunjin, I realized how cruel the so-called game I was at the beginning...

My pride, my conceit, and my jealousy all became the reasons why I hurt Chunjin.I paranoidly thought that being nice to Chunjin was just a kind of tender game, but I forgot to ask my own heart; I called him a pet, and it was my property, because he was jealous of Yunho's kindness, and I always And hurt him again, but I don't know that this is my jealousy.

He caused so much harm to Jin'er, he should hate me very much...

Chun Jin was picked up by Min Woo and Comet to their home. Under Comet's careful care, Chun Jin's anorexia improved slightly. Although the effect was not great, I also knew that it was much better than being around me.I go to see Jin'er every day, but I dare not let him see him.I know that I am the root of Jin'er's heart disease. Although I am still losing weight every day, I am also very happy to see the occasional smile on Chunjin's face.

Minwoo and Hyesung's attitude towards me has also changed a lot, from being wary at first to simple communication now.Occasionally, Minwoo would ask me to have dinner with them, but I never stayed, I was not ready to appear in front of Jin'er...

Yunho also comes sometimes, he likes to lie on Jin'er's lap and chat with Jin'er, every time he comes, Jin'er's mood will become particularly good.I no longer have any hostility towards Yunho. Although, seeing Jin'er laughing and laughing with him, I will still be jealous, but it seems more, I am really envious.Yes, I envy Yunho, if I told others before, I, Moon Jung Hyuk, would also envy someone one day, I would probably be laughed out of my teeth...

But the fact is that, although I am still vigorous and decisive at work, but in private, my personality has become much gentler.The gentle and elegant appearance that I used to pretend to be in front of others seems to have become my nature, not that I have lost my bloodthirsty nature. When facing the enemy, my methods still make everyone fearful, but when facing Chunjin, I will never do it again. Less than the decisive decision at the beginning...

Dongwan watched me secretly look at Chunjin every day, and seemed to be anxious in his heart, wanting to promote my relationship with Chunjin, but there are some things that I can't do if I want to, right?

However, one day, Chunjin, who was basking in the sun outside the room, seemed to have fallen asleep. I quietly walked to Chunjin's side, and quietly looked at the person I was thinking about day and night...

"Jin'er..."

Whispering Chunjin's name softly, it's been a long time since I looked at my Jin'er so closely, maybe because of the absence of my oppression, Jin'er's complexion is much better, although her cheeks are still thin, her beautiful eyes are still There is no luster, but it does not affect Jin'er's beauty at all.

I stretched out my hand, wanting to touch the person in front of me that I had been thinking about day and night, but stopped in mid-air...

The raised hand is finally put down, I don't want to disturb Chunjin's tranquility, the reflection during this period has made me understand a lot, even many times, I would think, if I let go, will Chunjin be happy...

"Jin'er, I miss you so much..."

The words read from the lips lightly have unprecedented affection...

"What should I do? Jin'er, what should I do to return to your world and get your forgiveness?"

Knowing that there was no answer, I still whispered the words I wanted to ask a long time ago...

"If you die, I will forgive you!"

It turned out that Chunjin was not asleep, but was just closing his eyes and resting his mind, but his sudden answer pierced my heart like a sharp knife...

"Jin'er, I know, you hate me. I'm really sorry for hurting you in the past, but can you give me another chance to make up for it? Jin'er, I love you, give me another chance, okay? good?"

I, Moon Jung Hyuk, have never been so weak, but Chun Jin doesn't appreciate it...

"Compensation? Moon Jung Hyuk, how do you want to compensate? Buy the right cornea at a high price on the black market to compensate me?"

Chunjin smiled, the arc drawn by the corners of his lips was so beautiful, but the words uttered from his thin lips were so ruthless...

A sentence of words cut my heart with a knife, I can almost feel my heart bleeding, but, compared to the harm I did to Chunjin, what are these?

"Jin'er...what do you want me to do...what do I have to do before you will forgive me..."

"If you die, I will forgive you!"

The repeated words made my heart hurt again, but, my son, why did you cry, if you really hated me so much and wished for me to die, why did you cry when you said these words?

I couldn't help reaching out to wipe away the tears from the corners of Jin'er's eyes, and hugged Jin'er into my arms, but was pushed away...

"Wen Jung Hyuk, don't you want to pay me back my light? Okay! Give me your light! I want your eyes! If it's your cornea! I'll accept it, you give me my light!"