suddenly tired

The Second Miss of the Su family has been weak and sick since she was a child, but she is smart, well-behaved and pleasant. Compared with her mischievous elder brother and stubborn sister, Su Wanyu is the most peaceful and peaceful existence in the Su family. Due to her poor health, she is often admitted to the hospital for treatment. Read intermittently, a little later than peers.Although she has been actively treated, there is no reason to talk about persevering genes. She had the first attack at the age of 13, and the second attack at the age of 19. She was admitted to a nursing home and never left.

This is what Zhong Lei and Ji Sumian learned when they visited their aunt when they passed through Hong Kong.Two years later, Zhong Lei went back to China on a business trip, and traveled with Chen Jialan, and went to a nursing home. That night, Chen Jialan got herself half drunk in a small restaurant in Xihuan, and told another version of the story.

He and Su Wanyu met in the bathroom of the university, a very inexplicable place.

Chen Jialan broke her leg while playing football the week before, and was put on a plaster cast and sat in a wheelchair. As a sixth form student who is about to graduate, they went to visit the University of Hong Kong together that day, which is the distance from the road to the opposite side of the road. After the visit, the students went home separately , Chen Jialan finished washing her hands in the handicapped bathroom, and just opened the door to go out, but the door was pushed from the outside. He reacted very quickly and took a step back to avoid being hit by operating the wheelchair. Two girls rushed in and quickly locked the door .

Turning around to see that there were still people inside, the three of them looked at each other in blank dismay, extremely embarrassed.

Chen Jialan's fingers were still dripping with water. He quietly carried his back behind him, wiped his clothes, and asked, "Excuse me, can I go out first?"

"Shhh—don't talk!" one of the girls interrupted him nervously.

Another girl walked up to him, knelt down, held the handle of the wheelchair, and said softly like a kitten: "I'm sorry, I can't go out yet, but don't be afraid, those people are here to catch us, I'm sorry Ah, I’m hurting you.” She groped for a while from her schoolbag, grabbed a handful of snacks and put them on his lap, including candy, biscuits, and beef jerky, “I’ll eat these for you, don’t talk, just wait a while Alright, can I?"

Chen Jialan was even more embarrassed, is this a good place to eat snacks?He lowered his voice and asked, "Who wants to arrest you? Do I need to call the police for you?"

The girl hurriedly waved her hands: "No, no, it's not what you think, it's from our family. They want to arrest my sister and prevent her from coming out."

"Oh."

"My name is Su Wanyu, what's your name?"

"Chen Jialan."

"Are you studying here too?"

"No, I'm across the road, St. Paul."

"Hey me too, I'm in Form Four, what about you?"

"middle six."

"Wow, what a coincidence, you eat something first, we can hide for a while and then go."

Still thinking about eating snacks.Chen Jialan was helpless: "This environment seems not suitable for eating."

Su Wanyu also came to her senses and smiled: "I'm sorry, but we are in the same school anyway, so next time I invite you out to dinner."

"So you met Su Mian's mother?" Zhong Lei asked in surprise.

"Yes, I saw her in that toilet. She is not tall, with short hair around her ears. It's been too long, and I don't remember her appearance anymore. I didn't know until a long time later that she left home that day. "

"Then, you met Su Wanyu again? At school?"

"Yes, that year when I spoke on behalf of the graduates, she presented flowers to me on stage and secretly slipped a note asking me to wait at a certain station. She said—" Chen Jialan lowered her head and smiled, as if she could still feel the sweetness of first love, " She wrote 'Don't wait for me'."

As soon as they met, they ushered in a long summer vacation.

Su Wanyu and Chen Jialan are actually the same age, but due to physical reasons, they often leave school. They are two classes late. Chen Jialan is about to go to university, and she still needs to attend the summer cram school. Chen Jialan is waiting at the gate of the cram school, waiting for her to go out together on the double-decker bus after class. Play.Going to country parks, to Repulse Bay, to Stanley, all the way is full of rickety mountain roads, few people, Wan Yu will lean on his shoulder when she is tired, and fall asleep after talking for a while.Her hair was blown up by the wind, caressing Chen Jialan's neck vaguely, it was very gentle, the wind was gentle, Wanyu was gentle, he felt that he was also gentle.The sunlight outside the window shines on her face through the shadow of the trees through the window, and as the bus goes on and off, Chen Jialan will take out a notebook from her schoolbag, adjust the angle, and help her block the sunlight, with a very Holding the notebook in a strange and tired posture until she woke up.

They will also go to the top of the mountain. There are many mountains on Hong Kong Island. The sidewalks are either uphill or downhill. There are countless steps. There are many kinds of vines crawling, and the underside of the vines is black mottled that has not seen the sun all year round. It looks damp and not very clean, but it may just look unclean.They went uphill and downhill along the mountain road, and stopped to rest when they passed the street passage, and leaned side by side on the green railings. The touch of green and the greenness of the trees formed the main color of his dreams many years later.

Chen Jialan handed her a bottle of orange juice, Su Wanyu took a sip, and kissed his lips very briskly, he tasted a little sweet and sour. "I saw you help me block the sun that day, thank you."

They held hands and walked to the top of the mountain. It was already evening.

"They all said that the night view here is beautiful, where is the beauty? Are those buildings and lights? Man-made, they disappear when the switch is turned off. I don't understand, I like the sea, but I don't like the dense buildings on the coastline. I don't think it's beautiful." She looked up at Chen Jialan again, and he watched the light reflected in his eyes, which was a light she didn't like, but at this moment she felt that the light was not so unlovely, "You said, Hong Kong will change in the future What's it like?"

"It will definitely not continue like this, it will get better and better."

The fact is not that the era they live in is probably the end of Hong Kong's glory.

His university is just across the street from Wan Yu's middle school, this year is almost his happiest time.He chatted with Wan Yu, talking about love, it was just a word of "talk", but he would often feel a little embarrassed at the end of the chat.He said, "I entered university and felt that I was ordinary, even a little bad." Wan Yu said, "No, how could that be?" .

"You know, I thought I was pretty good at first, but in college, everyone is the best. When they give speeches, they talk about the old and the old. My middle school grades are nothing; and you, you are nothing If you all know, I will feel that I am not good enough and not qualified to stand with you."

Su Wanyu just laughed, she said that because of her health, she could only read books at home when everyone was playing outside when she was a child, but it was strange, she really started to go to school, but her grades were not so good, she couldn't read math, It's not that you don't work hard, it's that you don't understand. "If my grades were as good as yours, I would be able to study in the University of Hong Kong." She said regretfully.

Su Wanyu's accident occurred during the summer vacation of Chen Jialan's freshman year. They picked up a snow-white kitten on the side of the road. Wanyu liked this kitten very much and named it Yanyan because her English name is Yannie. , this kitten is soft and well-behaved, just like Wan Yu when she was a child.

Later, Chen Jialan saw the old Yanyan in Australia. It was 12 years later. Yanyan lived to be 16 years old, which is regarded as the end of life in the cat world. The only connection in the world is gone.

These are later stories, when they picked up the kitten, they found a small cardboard box in the stairwell, soaked the handkerchief and wiped Yanyan clean, Wan Yu hugged the cardboard box to tease the kitten, her voice was soft and soft, Chen Jialan's heart was trembling , he held Wanyu's face and touched her lips, Wanyu smiled shyly, but she didn't hide, she raised her head slightly, as if inviting him to continue.He put Yanyan at his feet and hugged the girl he loved. This was the first time their lips and tongues were intertwined.

He didn't remember how long the kiss lasted, but he only knew that his body was getting hot. He was afraid of losing his composure, so although he was very reluctant, he let go of his hand, but Wan Yu grabbed his skirt, trembling and short of breath.

In Su Zhai, the balcony of Wanyu’s room is small but unique. The white fence forms a semicircle. She holds Yanyan in her arms to see the scenery. Her room is not facing the sea, and she can only see a small strip of sea view from the balcony, but She didn't want to look at the sea today, she looked at the trees on the mountain, missed Jialan holding her hand when she was walking, looked at the steps on the mountain road, thought of the kiss just now, her heart was still pounding, even hurt a little, she buried her face Sneaking in Yanyan's fur, she actually shed tears while smiling, and she fell on the balcony.

Later, Su Wanyu didn't go to cram school, nor did she show up at the place where they dated every day. Chen Jialan was very puzzled, not knowing why she disappeared, and he even wondered if Wanyu ran away with her sister.During that time, he was frantically looking for how big Hong Kong Island could be. He suddenly had the air of a desperado, and even if he searched all over here, he still wanted to find his grace.

The Su family lived in Mid-Levels. He didn't know which one it was, so he could only look for it one by one along the road, and he couldn't knock on the door rashly. He just passed by the door to have a look. Surnamed Su, he passed by, and then went to see the next family. He walked along the mountain road countless times. He remembered the dense forests, the humid air, the up and down stairs and the cars speeding past.Later, he lost his way among those mansions, and he didn't even know what he was looking for. Every vague shadow passing by around him looked like the girl he loved, but they were not.

The mountain road of that year has no end.

After the summer vacation, he went back to school and asked Wanyu's classmates, only to find out that Su Wanyu was ill and was admitted to the hospital but could not visit her.Later, when the students of that class graduated, Su Wanyu did not come back, and the cram school also moved, but he still often went to the old place that belonged to the two of them. wait for me".

That's right, if you can't find Wanyu, you can wait for Wanyu to come to me.With such hope in mind, Chen Jialan continued to study at school until she graduated with a Ph.D.He is very clear that his attachment is just greedy for the summer when he met Wan Yu.

A few years later, he learned that the Su family had moved their property to Australia, so he applied for a job as a legal assistant in Su Hong. It was also because Wanyu said that her mother and brother passed away, and her sister left, so she wanted to protect her. dad.

On the day Chen Jialan went to work in Australia, relatives and friends came to see him off. More than a dozen people surrounded him at the airport. They knew it was to see him off, but they didn’t know that they thought they were escorting a felon. In fact, Chen Jialan’s mood was no different from going to serve a prison sentence: academics in the eyes of others With success, he knew it was because he didn't want to leave the campus where he first met Wanyu. The bright future in the eyes of others, and only he knew that he was going to fulfill Wanyu's words of "protecting father". He looked at the faces of his relatives and friends. The expression of pride and pride for him also forced a smile, you don't understand, this is also very good.

Many years later, Chen Jialan was promoted to Su Hong's chief legal counsel. He added his name to Su Wanyu's visitation list. After 20 years, he saw his former lover again. Her appearance changed, but her eyes froze time. He can see the 19-year-old Wanyu, but now, his Wanyu has become a silent tree.

Later, Chen Jialan thought, in order to find Su Wanyu, he was so hysterical, but Wanyu didn't know about it and disappeared very quietly.Looking at it now, Wan Yu quietly left their love, just like leaving in the middle of a party, this kind of separation is not considered parting of life and death, but just a little bit lost.

Speaking of this, Chen Jialan sighed, poured some more wine into the glass, and raised his glass as a gesture. Zhong Lei shook his head, saying that he was not strong enough to drink, and asked, "So my aunt is also mentally ill?"

"Yes, borderline personality disorder, and dementia."

"She doesn't remember you anymore?"

"Not necessarily, sometimes I know me and sometimes I don't know me. But I hope she doesn't know me, and she will listen to me carefully, showing a gentle and innocent smile. She will also answer me, speaking very slowly, or the one in the bathroom The little girl squatting next to my wheelchair. But when she recognized me, she kept crying, I don’t want her to remember, it’s too painful.”

"When I went to see her with Su Mian, she was reading all the time, and Su Mian didn't respond to her conversation, but before we left, she called 'Sister', and the nurse said she knew it. "

"Wanyu is like a book whose words are gradually disappearing, but you don't know what is left behind. Those that have not been erased are her remaining memories."

Zhong Lei said: "I have always had a question. Grandpa Su Mian came to Australia very early. His mother was already in China at that time. Why did she leave her alone in the nursing home instead of taking my aunt?"

"After Wanyu moved in, the nursing home moved once. That change of environment put a lot of pressure on Wanyu, and she fell ill again, but in fact, the person who took care of her remained the same, even her bed and everything in the room The furnishings haven't changed, just moved to another place, she couldn't bear it, and the attack caused heart failure, and she almost died."

Heart failure, which made him think of Ji Sumian's mother, Ji Yifeng in prison, the first time he saw him, he forced a smile but his eyes were empty.

Chen Jialan went on to say: "We have been working hard these years, and we have also asked the psychiatrists here. Both sides said that Wanyu's situation is not ideal. Not only can she not get on the plane, she may not even be able to leave the nursing home."

Zhong Lei thought for a while, and asked again: "Then, have you never had another woman in these years?"

"I tried it once after I came to Australia. It was very difficult. I will never meet a girl like Wanyu again."

"Of course, there is only one Su Wanyu. But everyone is different. Is it really impossible to accept new people?"

"Believe me, I really tried, but it didn't work. That girl is very nice, and I can talk to me, but I don't even have the desire to hold her hand. After so many years, there seems to be nothing wrong with being alone. At the beginning, Dong Su and Uncle Qi tried to match me with Kang Yan, how could it be possible, I always regarded her as Wan Yu's younger sister, and my sister-in-law...is at odds with each other." He shook his head and laughed.

Zhong Lei also smiled: "Indeed, the two of you look like brother and sister, there is no chemical reaction at all."

"That's it."

"Now I know why Grandpa Su Mian said that you have been watching him work like a supervisor."

"Haha, I'm staring at work, I'm staring at my father-in-law..."

I fell in love with Su Wanyu for a year, found her for ten years, and then waited for the rest of my life. I told Chen Jialan that the length of time was the same, but the depth was different. His year was deeper than the sum of the next few decades. Maybe , it will continue to deepen.

When people are in their teens, they like to say some words that they think are very important, such as love you forever, and they will never change in this life. They will forget them later, and they will find that there are not so many extreme things in this world. Instead, they feel It was silly.

Chen Jialan is young and mature, he has never said anything like that, but I don't know whether it was intentional or unintentional or God's will, he has lived like that, ten years, 20 years, he is still a person, he has only loved Su Wanyu in this life.

Zhong Lei asked him how he endured such a big regret and such a sad ending.He said that each other is the only one in life, isn't it also a very beautiful thing.But in fact, only he himself knows that sometimes when he wakes up in the middle of the night and thinks of Wan Yu, he will feel lonely and boundless, and feel that the world is empty.