suddenly tired

As if everyone couldn’t go home, the Christmas night was extremely lively. On this day, the skyline only accepted guests by appointment. Zhong Lei arrived at the bar at two o’clock in the afternoon. He and the band decided on the performance program, and rehearsed roughly. Singing is not for him It is said that it is a matter of familiarity, and a little practice can awaken that skill.

He remembered that a few years ago, also on Christmas night, when Yantu's small concert ended, he was not feeling well and went home first.The flu virus that year was raging, and he was unfortunately caught. He insisted on singing all night. At the end, he was speechless. He didn't participate in the celebration banquet.Woke up at three o'clock in the morning, Xu Chen didn't come home, and there was no news, he tried to call, but he didn't answer, he just stared at the silent darkness, until the edge of the curtains slowly seeped into the light.

Zhong Lei has always been eating healthy, exercising regularly, and his physical fitness is very good. That may be the most sad night he can remember. He had a fever, his body was sore, and he needed to breathe hard. Later, he found out that the person was betraying him, so he looked back. That night, it became even more absurd and uncomfortable.

After many years of performing on stage, Zhong Lei is quite at ease. After all, most people in the bar are devoted to teasing themselves and others. As long as they sing well, they can be justified.He still remembers looking for a spot that is not too far away from the stage, such as the small blue lantern on the right side of the Christmas tree. It is a strange thing mixed in among a string of red and yellow lights. , his sight has been around that point of blue, making the people in the audience look alienated and affectionate.When he sang "Last Christmas", "This year, to save me from tears, I'll give it to someone special", he suddenly discovered that a someone special indeed appeared behind the little blue light.

That night, Ji Sumian ate the dinner that Zhong Lei had left for him before going out. It was almost nine o'clock when he arrived at the skyline. His former colleagues had already had several rounds of wine. He finally squeezed into the seat and sat with his back to the stage. Next, join in the game of rolling the dice, the first round happened to roll to an empty glass, so he happily poured wine into the glass, and when he heard "LastChristmas, Igaveyoumyheart——" he shook his hand, and the wine spilled a table.

He is so familiar with this voice. In the earphones of the past, this voice has been with him at home this year. He suddenly turned his head and saw Zhong Lei sitting on a high chair. It was different from before. Playing the keyboard, but not here, only responsible for singing, a red and white jacket, I don't know if it's a cloak or a coat, he put it crookedly on his body, looking lazy, with this song with a jazz tone, it is even more beautiful. Some indifference outside the excitement made him feel dizzy.

Subconsciously want to run, but the body seems to be nailed to the chair, unable to move and do not want to move.

Zhong Lei noticed those staring gazes, he was slightly surprised at first, then smiled again and raised his eyebrows at him.

Looking at each other from such a distance made Ji Sumian worry. He couldn't help himself from thinking wildly, wondering why Zhong Lei wanted to come to the bar to sing, was it because he threw all his savings into the hospital, and into the bottomless depths of his house? Or, he is still missing the glamorous life before, and he doesn't want to work so hard anymore, and wants to start again; or, he has been working two jobs to support his life during the time he can't see... He couldn't see the expression on his face, he only knew that it was too difficult to maintain a calm expression. He turned around again, deliberately refrained from looking at him, and drank with his colleagues, pouring one cup after another into his mouth.

Looking at each other from such a distance made Zhong Lei feel a little beautiful. Originally, he was reluctant to sing for the sake of money, but he never thought that Ji Sumian would come and sit behind the little blue light, which happened to be Where he put his sight, so that Christmas was like spending with him, and the songs sung to strangers suddenly fell into place.He walked through the crowd during the band's break, walked behind Ji Sumian, and said in his ear with a volume that was just audible: "Don't leave later, wait for me."

Ji Sumian's ears felt hot.

The last song on Christmas Eve was the cheerful "Santa, Can't You Hear Me". Zhong Lei wasn't very familiar with it. He stared at the lyrics on the music stand and sang it. He didn't forget to look towards Ji Sumian. He saw a The child with rosy cheeks was jumping up and down with the crowd, raising his hands high and shaking his head, and missed a word when he was distracted for a while, but the audience was almost all unsane humans, and no one noticed or cared.

After the carnival of the night ended, Ji Sumian was carried on Zhong Lei's shoulders again and stuffed into the car. He sat in the passenger seat and muttered, "Carrying me again! My brother is holding me, every time you Every time you carry me like rice, it makes you want to vomit! Aren't you afraid that I'll vomit on you?"

"Cut! I can hold rice, but I don't know how much you weigh more than rice!"

"Then you can carry it on your back, it's ugly to death..."

"You don't lose face, you don't lose face. Besides, haven't all your friends left already?"

"Then I don't want to carry it, how about carrying it in the future?"

"Is there a future?! Ji Sumian, you are not allowed to drink anymore! If you drink too much, I will throw you by the side of the road!"

He said "I'm in trouble", but carried Ji Sumian home. As soon as he entered the house, he squatted down and said, "You're home, come down."

Ji Sumian didn't move, she still lay on his back, hugging his neck even tighter than before.

"Brother Lei, why are you so nice, can you make me like you?"

Zhong Lei climbed up to the sixth floor with him on his back, and he was already panting heavily, and this was even worse, his heart was beating wildly, he was suffocated, his breath was not smooth, and he coughed again and again.

Ji Sumian still didn't let go, and I don't know if he was really drunk or half sober: "Brother Lei, I will work hard to make money in the future, can you stop singing? I see you dressed like that, singing on stage, singing It's so good, but no one listens, I feel... very uncomfortable..."

Zhong Lei himself didn't feel it at first, but when he said this, he felt some grievances for no reason, but this is not a grievance at all, it always happens like this when performing on stage, if someone likes you, someone will definitely hate you, and there are reasons for hating you It is so rich and colorful, and any public figure has a deep understanding of this.He smiled and asked, "Why can't I sing? I don't sing badly."

"It sounds good, but I just... just don't want you to make money in a way you don't like because of economic reasons."

Zhong Lei squatted until his legs went numb, he untied his hands from his neck, and pulled him to sit on the ground together: "How do you know that singing is a way I don't like?"

"..." Ji Sumian had nothing to say.

"I'm going today. I'm actually doing a friend a favor. It's a temporary rescue. I'm not working there." He avoided the topic of money, this vulgar thing, which made the child so stressed that it couldn't be more stressful.

"Oh." Ji Sumian leaned her head on Zhong Lei's shoulder, "Brother Lei, you said that my mother, who has been tortured by mental illness for many years, really hopes that I will work so hard to keep her alive? Every time I go to When she chats, she always talks to herself, saying something that I thought she would want to hear, but in fact, the last sentence she said to me was, 'No matter what happens, don't go back to China, and study hard'. I I think she's going to be mad at me, and she will be."

"She loves you, so she doesn't want you to be involved in these things, and it's understandable not to let you come back. I don't know if she can hear you, but if she can, she will definitely not be angry. Although her son I didn’t continue to study, but I have become a very responsible person, I work hard to live, and I will live better and better.”

"Stop trying to comfort me, what you say doesn't sound like you anymore." Ji Sumian smiled wryly.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"It's too fake, I drank too much, it doesn't sound like what you said..."

"I said, young master, you are too difficult to serve. If you say it badly, you say I am satirizing you. At best, you say I am hypocritical, so I should not speak. You go to sleep, goodbye!"

Zhong Lei ignored him and went upstairs, but he always paid attention to the movement downstairs. He went downstairs when he heard Ji Sumian went to take a shower, turned off the lights, and went back to the room. After taking a shower, he opened the door and saw Stand alone.

"Fuck you and scare me! What time is it and don't go to bed!"

"Brother Lei, I can't sleep, my stomach feels like it's on fire."

"Let you drink so much wine!" Zhong Lei gave him a bottle of water, "Drink more water."

Ji Sumian didn't take the water, and grabbed his wrist with both hands: "Brother Lei, can you stay with me for a while? I don't feel well..." He grabbed Zhong Lei's wrist while stepping back, pulling Zhong Lei into his Room.

Zhong Lei's heart tightened, this is...why...

He has been used to getting along with himself over the years. Without love and passion, he avoids disappointment and debt. He has become a habit by being alone, and even fantasized about it the moment Ji Sumian pulled him into the room. There are all kinds of wonderful possibilities.

But Ji Sumian jumped onto the bed alone, covered the quilt, and patted his side: "Brother Lei, can you sit here for a while?"

Zhong Lei smiled, drove away the shameful picture in his mind, and said in a low voice, "What? Need to tell you a bedtime story?"

"It's okay to chat."

"Then I'll sing you a song. I've been singing to other people all night.—I think it looks like it was written for you."

"And you may not hug again,

I am old when I wait for you,

walk half a mile,

The dust of the past seems to be lighter than a feather,

Mention the distress in my heart,

As if saying to yourself,

How good others are. "

Ji Sumian's drunkenness was still circling in his brain, dizzy with euphoria, until he heard him sing "The dust is as light as a feather", suddenly a little sad, as he himself said, the stage, the band and the song all reminded him A failed past, I don't know what kind of mood he sang for the whole night.

"Never loved you softly,

It's a pity that I love to miss..."

Mianmian... Ji Sumian felt that the pores all over his body were tightened. Is this what he said? It looks like it was written for me?The corners of his mouth curled up, and the feeling of crying with joy rushed to his heart.

"Never loved you,

I only like to fight with a bloody heart,

I also miss those cigarettes that I can't smoke through..."

I can't remember the lyrics, he sang upside down, but it doesn't hinder the sleep effect.When he lowered his voice, there was an irresistible sense of oppression. Ji Sumian was pinned down on the bed by his force, unable to move, but fell asleep logically.