He's killing me again

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After Pei Jin's words fell, the door behind Ning Ci was suddenly pushed a few times, and the junior students in physical education class outside were a little confused: "Why is it closed? Ask the teacher for the key! Otherwise, we won't be able to play anything in this class!"

After a while of noise, Ning Ci's heart rose to his throat, the sound of footsteps outside gradually faded away, the sound of breathing and heartbeat was infinitely amplified in the empty space, Ning Ci couldn't tell whether it was his voice or Pei Jin's voice, he just Seeing Pei Jin staring at him, there was unspeakable concentration in his eyes.

Of course he understood the meaning of Pei Jin's words.

Pei Jin wanted to chase him.

Pei Jin, do you like him?

It seems that Pei Jin had said this to him a long time ago, when Pei Jin asked him if he wanted to fall in love with him.

Ning Ci doesn't really want to remember these things. He thinks that Pei Jin is different from that time. If he wants to be friends with Pei Jin, he has to forget these things, but memory is a very strange thing, the more he wants to forget it , the more clearly you remember.

He remembered that the playfulness in Pei Jin's eyes at that time was completely different from now.

Ning Ci's back leaned tightly against the iron door, and there was a bang, he flinched in panic, almost hitting the doorknob.

"Don't worry." Pei Jin seemed calmer than him, and even lowered his voice, "I don't need you to answer now, you..."

"I, I'm going back to class first." However, before he finished speaking, Ning Ci turned around in a panic, and his hands were shaking when he opened the door. move.

"Hey who are you in there..." Ning Ci lowered his head and ran past the PE teacher who opened the door, feeling like his heart would jump out if he stopped for a second.

The physical education teacher touched his bald head inexplicably, and said to the person behind him, "Maybe it was accidentally locked, you..."

Before he finished speaking, the door opened, and he saw a face with a slightly sad but scary expression. The physical education teacher was startled, "I'll go, what are you doing?"

Pei Jin let out a sharp breath, feeling a tightness in his chest.

Resisting the urge to retch, he glanced at the physical education teacher and the students who came behind him to watch the excitement. Pei Jin passed by them, and suddenly heard the physical education teacher shout: "Student, why did your hand hurt..."

Pei Jin didn't stop walking, his bleeding right hand covered his stomach.

In the afternoon, Pei Jin didn't return to class.

Ning Ci absent-mindedly looked back several times, which happened to be Ye Ping's class. At the first glance, Ye Ping thought it was his eyesight. Ning Ci might want to look at the clock behind, but the second and third glances , Ye Ping couldn't bear it anymore, "Ning Ci, what are you watching? I like watching it so much, stand back!"

Ning Ci usually behaved very well and was very obedient. Ye Ping thought he would give him a reasonable explanation, but when he finished speaking, he saw Ning Ci stand up hesitantly.

Ye Ping frowned, "You..."

"Yes, I'm sorry teacher." Ning Ci didn't dare to look at Ye Ping's face, and walked towards the back of the classroom with his head down.

He didn't have that kind of mind to go to class, his mind was full of Pei Jin asking him what he said, it would be better to stand up, at least it would be able to distract his attention.

However, he was standing right behind Pei Jin's seat, Lu Rang, who was sitting next to Pei Jin, was sleeping, but was startled by Ye Ping's sudden slap on the table, and woke up from his sleep with Ye Ping cursing in his ears Voice, "Don't desert me in class! You are already in the third year of high school! You are absent-minded all day and don't think about doing something in your studies!"

Lu Rang hissed and didn't know who Ye Ping was looking for. When he lowered his head, he saw a pair of washed white canvas shoes, which looked familiar. When he looked up again, he saw Ning Ci bowing his head while holding a paper.

What's going on... Isn't Ning Ci a good student? Why are you still standing in the back row?

Lu Rang didn't dare to talk to him, so he secretly observed him for a while, and found that he had been looking at Pei Jin's seat.

Pei Jin's desk is very neat, the kind of neatness with nothing, not to mention textbooks, not even examination papers, but there are two blank examination papers that haven't been written on the chair.

Ning Ci saw several envelopes and some small cakes piled up in a mess in the belly of the table—probably sent by someone who likes him.

Among them, there seems to be a more familiar pink love heart.

Ning Ci didn't think much about it, love letters are actually very similar.

The difference is that some people like him many people, some people, no one likes him.

After watching for a long time, Ning Ci felt that something was oppressing his heart, making him unable to breathe.

Why did Pei Jin chase him?

Is he worth anything.

He is not worth it.

Ning Ci took a deep breath, hurriedly turned his eyes back to the paper in his hand, his palms were so dry that he subconsciously wanted to touch the key in his pocket.

"I don't even know how to listen to the lectures at the back of the station, do I?"

Ye Ping suddenly roared, Ning Ci was startled, and quickly withdrew his hand.

Lu Rang: [Brother Pei, your guy was punished to stand still]

Lu Rang: [Photo]

The photo was taken secretly by Lu Rang, and it happened to be the angle of Ning Ci peeking at Pei Jin's desk, but it couldn't be seen in the photo, in case Pei Jin wouldn't be able to see it, Lu Rang went out of his way to explain: [He is looking at your desk]

The news did not get a reply, Lu Rang probably knew why Pei Jin went there, and probably went to see a psychiatrist again, Lu Rang actually disagreed a bit, although he had never suffered from any mental illness, but he had heard of it, look at this Every disease requires medicine, and those medicines can affect people's nerves.

As a result, in less than 2 minutes, the group of "one middle bar" jumped out of the news.

Pei Jin: [@陈fang throw the things in my desk into the trash can]

Pei Jin: [@陈方]

Aite wrote more than a dozen, and even Lu Rang heard Chen Fang's phone vibrate, and Chen Fang was still sleeping.

Not getting a reply, Pei Jin threw the phone back into his pocket irritably, thinking to himself, so what if he saw it?

Will you be unhappy?

"Why this expression?" The doctor sitting opposite him smiled: "It's normal for you to worry about gains and losses when you fall in love at this age, so don't have too much psychological burden."

Pei Jin raised his eyelids, "I didn't talk about it." After a while, he changed his words: "He didn't agree." He didn't want to mention it again, but asked, "How soon will my illness be cured?"

"Not necessarily, it depends on the patient's individual condition." The doctor recalled the situation when Pei Jin came in. The tall and big boy looked like he would faint at any time. People who didn't know thought he ran to the wrong place. However, Pei Jin's self-healing ability is very strong, and it didn't take long for him to recover. Except for the obvious injury on his hand, he was not happy to ask his assistant to bandage him. He insisted on doing it himself, and there was nothing wrong with him. .

"Actually, I would suggest that you go for desensitization treatment. As the name suggests, it is to touch the other party step by step. It is best if he is willing to cooperate with your treatment..."

Pei Jin refused decisively: "No."

He didn't want Ning Ci to know that he was sick, he wanted to be a normal person in front of Ning Ci.

The doctor shrugged his shoulders regretfully: "Well, if you take medicine, the effect may not be as good as you think, and the course of treatment will be longer. The doctors you have seen before should have warned you."

Pei Jin's illness lasted too long. When I heard Pei Jin describe his first illness just now, even a doctor who is used to seeing all kinds of patients was a little surprised.

Another useless doctor.

Pei Jin really wanted to leave, but thought that he almost failed to cover up in front of Ning Ci just now, and it might be because Ning Ci's silence aggravated his psychological pressure, which made him have a severe attack, retching and vomiting all the time Nothing came out.

Even he himself hates himself.

How could Ning Ci not dislike him.

Pei Jin forcibly endured and sat down again, "Anything is fine."

Anyway, if you can't eat it to death, you have to try it.

When Chen Fang woke up, half of the class was over, and Ning Ci had read everything he should have read. Seeing the message on his phone, Chen Fang quickly took out the contents of Pei Jin's table and threw them all into the trash can. Together with the love letter from Brother Pei's love rival.

Fearing that Brother Pei would scold him, Chen Fang hurriedly apologized to Pei Jin in the group, but Pei Jin replied when the get out of class was almost over.

There is no text, only a picture, the picture is Pei Jin's bandaged right hand, wrapped in a thick layer of gauze, it seems to be particularly serious.

Chen Fang almost jumped up: [Brother Pei, what's wrong with you, Brother Pei, are your hands going to be crippled? ! 】

Just at this time, the class bell rang, and Chen Fang rushed to Lu Rang as if he had been liberated: "Rang Rang Rang! Look at Brother Pei's hand! This is the right hand! It won't be scrapped! Why did Brother Pei go?" ! Is this background in a hospital!"

I have to say that Chen Fang's observation skills are quite good. The background of Pei Jin's photo was really a hospital bed, but he just happened to take a photo at the checkpoint.

Lu Rang had a headache from his noise, and subconsciously glanced at Ning Ci.

Ning Ci was going to go back to his seat, but Chen Fang squatted on the side of the seat, and the corridor was only so small, it directly blocked the way.

Chen Fang's mobile phone screen was not covered up at all, and it was displayed carelessly in front of him. Ning Ci only needed to glance down, and he could clearly see that Pei Jin's hand was indeed injured.

Are you hurt...

In the next second, Pei Jin's news popped up.

Pei Jin: [Get out, it's not useless, it was pricked by a flower thorn]

Chen Fang said oh twice, but he had to reply: "The bag is a bit ugly, not as beautiful as the bow on his leg a few days ago."

"By the way, Brother Pei, have you untied that bow tie? It hasn't been untied for so many days, right? We want to change your medicine and you won't let me touch it..."

Chen Fang wanted to continue talking, but was suddenly kicked by Lu Rang, and suddenly realized that Ning Ci was here, so he quickly shut up.

Ning Ci walked around from the back row, his footsteps paused, but his heart tightened suddenly.

For the remaining few classes, the others were also very restless, and it would be the weekend again soon. The English teacher knew that they were not interested in listening to the class, so he simply arranged a paper. Ning Cixin didn't care about writing the paper, but his mind was messed up, thinking When he got up, Pei Jin stared at himself and said he was angry.

My heart felt like it was stabbed by something.

When he came back to his senses, he realized that he accidentally wrote Pei Jin's name on the paper.

There was no evening self-study tonight. Ning Ci was going to dance practice, and the formal rehearsal was going to be tomorrow. However, as soon as he returned to the dormitory, he received a message from Ning Lan.

Ning Lan called him the living expenses, and the moment the living expenses came, Ning Lan also called.

"This is the living expenses for this month. I was too busy a few days ago and forgot to give it to you." Ning Lan smiled, as if nothing had happened.

Too many things happened today, and Ning Ci felt nervous. He said last time that he didn't want to be the He family's words, so he couldn't open his mouth. Ning Ci held his belt in his hand and listened to Ning Lan quietly. talk.

"Is this period of time okay? Is the living expenses not enough? If you don't have enough in the future, just tell me." Ning Lan seemed to have a sudden thought.

Ning Ci opened his mouth: "No...it's enough, I'm an adult, you don't need to give me living expenses."

Ning Lan smiled on her lips: "What stupid things are you talking about?"

"You are my son, of course I want to support you..."

Probably Ning Lan's tenderness gave Ning Ci the illusion, he subconsciously said: "I met today..."

I met Jiang Bai today, do you still remember?

"I heard that you and Pei Jin became friends?" Two voices sounded at the same time, and Ning Lan paused: "What did you just say?"

Ning Ci buckled his belt: "No...who did you hear that from?"

"It's not important, Ning Ci, I told you before, people like Pei Jin are far from us, you have to protect yourself, why do you want to be friends with him?"

Having said that, Ning Ci seems to understand the reason why Ning Lan called today. He stood up and adjusted his clothes. In fact, there is no need to wear this clothes to dance at night, but Ning Ci wants to see himself in the mirror. That would make him feel that he wasn't that bad either.

Ning Ci didn't speak, and Ning Lan was silent for a long time, "Tell mom honestly, do you like him?"

"We can't afford that kind of family, how could he treat you sincerely?"

"Can you trust him if someone treats you better?"

"..."

It started to rain in the middle of the night, Ning Ci didn't close the window before going to sleep, the rain came in through the window, he woke up from his sleep, his eyes were dark, he reached out to touch the head of the bed, a little wet.

Had a nightmare for half the night, the dream was full of what Ning Lan said, Ning Ci opened his eyes for a while, lost sleepiness, simply got up and closed the window, turned on the night light again, and continued to sort out the notes for Pei Jin.

The notes were promised to Pei Jin, and they couldn't be left halfway.

Before taking the pen, Ning Ci checked the time, only to find that there was an unread message from Pei Jin.

【Eat supper or not】

from two hours ago.

There are also those from Ning Lan.

[Talk to you well, don't listen, how do you learn to hang up suddenly now? 】

It didn't happen suddenly. Before hanging up, he told Ning Lan that he was hungry.

But Ning Lan didn't listen.

Ning Lan called him a few more times, because he transferred back the living expenses that Ning Lan transferred to him, including the money saved before and in the future, and transferred back all the money. In other words, it may not be a big deal, but before meeting He Zhen, it was a huge expense for the mother and son.

Ning Ci returned everything to her.

He didn't answer Ning Lan's calls anymore, he didn't want to hear those repeated words, repeated warnings about the gap between him and Pei Jin.

He doesn't know where.

He understands.

Ning Ci buried his head in his arms and suddenly felt a little tired. After a while, the door of his dormitory was knocked twice.

In the middle of the night, Ning Ci was taken aback.

On weekends, many students have gone home. At this time, who will knock on the door.

Fear came up, he was a little afraid of Jiang Bai, his heart beat faster and he dared not move.

The phone screen lit up.

Pei Jin: [Open the door and see that the lights in your dormitory are on]

"How do you..."

Pei Jin entered Ning Ci's dormitory wearing a set of pajamas and yawning. He still carried a thermal bag in his hand, and the barbecue inside was still steaming. Ning Ci's words were cut off in half by him: "Why haven't you slept yet?"

Ning Ci watched him take out all his things with ease, and then pulled a chair to sit down, as if what happened at noon today had never happened at all. Ning Ci did not tell the truth, but said: "...It's too early, I didn't sleep on."

It's not early at all, it's past twelve o'clock in the middle of the night.

"Why are you here?" Ning Ci didn't move to eat.

How could Pei Jin be so timely, he saw the lights in his dormitory turned on.

Still, just saw...

"I've been squatting at the door." Pei Jin said lightly, "If you don't turn on the light, everything will be cold."

"Don't eat?"

Pei Jin's message was sent two hours ago, and he went to bed four hours ago.

Pei Jin squatted for at least an hour.

Ning Ci's heart was suddenly stepped on by something, and by the light of the night light, he took a skewer of meat and ate it, and his hungry stomach that hadn't eaten all night was relieved a little.

"Chen Fang told me that you haven't left the dormitory after school." Pei Jin stared at Ning Ci's side face for a while: "I didn't go to dinner either."

"I, I have food in my dormitory."

"You said at noon that you would go to the supermarket to buy some bread in the evening."

When eating with Pei Jin at noon, I did say this. Pei Jin originally asked him if he wanted to go out to eat at night, but Ning Ci finished his bread and planned to go to the supermarket to stock up on it, plus he was going to train at night, so he did not agree. Pei Jin's proposal.

The lie was exposed immediately, Ning Ci avoided his sight, "Forget, forget."

Pei Jin hummed seemingly indifferently, and swayed from the bed to the table. Ning Ci lowered his eyes, and saw the bandage on Pei Jin's right hand at first sight. It was very thickly wrapped, and his heart suddenly became chaotic. .

Does Pei Jin still remember what he said at noon?

Why, why is she suddenly acting like a normal person...

Ning Lan's words suddenly rang in his ears, as well as Jiang Bai... Ning Ci suddenly lost his taste.

Pei Jin shouldn't be allowed in.

Does this give him hope again?

But he was so reluctant.

"Notes, how long do you have to write?" Pei Jin stood at the table, looking down at the notes written by Ning Ci.

Ning Ci's thoughts were pulled back by him, and he was stunned for a while, "If it's quick, it will take about a week or two."

"I'll finish writing..."

"Then wait until the writing is finished?" Pei Jin took a deep breath, never feeling so humble.

The distance between him and Ning Ci is actually not too far, that is, the distance from the desk to the bed, and there is a bed where Ning Ci sleeps in the middle. The night light on the desk is half blocked by his figure, causing the whole dormitory The light became flickering, making it hard to see people's expressions clearly. Pei Jin held Ning Ci's chair with one hand, and said before Ning Ci could ask anything: "Even if you refuse, wait until this is finished. Is it done?"

To be honest, when he was standing at the door, he was really afraid that Ning Ci would not come to open the door for him. It was probably the few minutes he was most nervous. The sound of footsteps is amplified infinitely in the darkness.

Ning Ci's doubtful words were stuck in his throat.

Pei Jin did not forget.

He was a little afraid to look at Pei Jin, and he couldn't say the words of refusal after lingering in his heart several times, but his eyes still couldn't help falling on Pei Jin.

Not knowing what Pei Jin was doing today, Ning Ci felt that his expression was a little tired, but when he was talking to him, his expression was very serious.

Ning Ci wanted to ask him.

do you like me.

Do you really like me.

Why do you like me.

Is there anything about me worthy of your liking?

However, he couldn't ask, so he took a deep breath, trying to avoid the question, and began to eat in silence with his head down.

That's what a coward is, he just avoids problems.

Pei Jin didn't speak any more, waiting for him to finish eating, the dormitory became extremely quiet, only the sound of rain outside could be heard.

After eating, Ning Ci could no longer ignore the existence of another person in the dormitory. Pei Jin stood there looking at him, staring at him packing up his things, motionless and not speaking——

"The person who gave the flowers, don't you, hate him?" Pei Jin spoke as if pinching a point when his thoughts were in a mess.

Hearing that Jiang Bai was mentioned, Ning Ci froze in packing his things. He didn't know why Pei Jin asked this suddenly. Maybe it was because of the deep-rooted dislike and fear of Jiang Bai. Hearing his name, Ning Ci froze. I couldn't help shaking.

Pei Jin took his reaction into his eyes, and suddenly regretted mentioning it, no matter what the relationship was, he shouldn't mention it again, "If you don't want to say it, don't..."

"Yes." Ning Ci gripped the hem of his clothes tightly, "I hate him very much."

For so many years, except for Ning Lan, Ning Ci never mentioned Jiang Bai to anyone else, but when Pei Jin asked, he wanted to tell Pei Jin, "He, he is very self-righteous...he doesn't like me."

Every time Ning Ci said a sentence, he felt more difficult to breathe.

"I don't want to see him . . . not at all."

"I'm afraid of him, and I don't want to, but I can't help it... I'm useless."

"Pei Jin."

Pei Jin had already walked in front of him again, and squatted down in front of him. The moment Ning Ci met his gaze, the words "Don't chase me, don't like me" got stuck in his throat.

"I've said it before." Pei Jin didn't know whether he should breathe a sigh of relief, be angry, or feel annoyed. Ning Ci's state didn't seem like he had anything to do with Jiang Bai at all, but it was a bit like... Bullying his state, "I'm sorry."

It seems that Pei Jin has never apologized to anyone in his life. He was born in Pei's family with a golden key in his mouth. Countless people envy him. He has never bowed to Pei Yuan.

Ning Ci froze there.

"I'm sorry for forcing you to fall in love with me before." Pei Jin smiled bitterly: "I was really not sincere at that time, and you should have heard about me."

About his sordid life.

"But I'm now, I'm serious."

"Ning Ci, I like you, you don't have to refuse or agree immediately, just like I said, just wait until you finish writing your notes, okay?"

Pei Jin took a deep breath, "Just don't ignore me... just don't ignore me during this time, just don't hide from me."

"And as I said before, you can try to ask me for help."

"If you hate him and don't want to see him, you can find me...you can find me."

Although even if Ning Ci didn't say anything, he was unlikely to let Jiang Bai appear in front of Ning Ci again.

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The author has something to say:

I almost went to the end of the article to save my life... I feel a little unwell today, so I'm late again, sorry woo woo woo tomorrow must be as soon as possible!