paranoid dependence

After Shen Nian was shocked for a moment, he realized that the "falling in love" in Gu Zhi's mouth did not come from liking and love, he just thought it was a way to keep himself by his side, Shen Nian's tense nerves slowly relaxed Come down and look at him with a smile:

"No."

"Why?" Gu Zhi raised his head from his neck to look at him, and looked at him with dissatisfaction: "I want to fall in love with you."

"Love is for boys and girls to talk about. It's impossible for us two boys." Shen Nian didn't want him to ask weird questions again, and said the most comforting words: "Little fox, it doesn't matter whether we talk about love or not." , I won’t even leave you, isn’t that enough?”

Gu Zhi didn't speak, and seemed to be incomprehensible to Shen Nian's 'can't', but Shen Nian didn't persuade him anymore, he didn't want to continue this topic at all, he was a little scared.He raised his hand to turn on the light, seeing Gu Zhi's expression in his eyes, and asked him:

"What happened today?"

Regarding the matter of going to Shen Chongshan himself, Gu Zhi originally made up his mind not to talk about it, as long as he knew what it was and solved Shen Nian's troubles, it would be fine, but Gu Zhi didn't expect that what they said was about separation, About the girlfriend thing.

He has tried his best to control his emotions, but Shen Nian is too important to him, as long as he touches the possibility of leaving even a little bit, he will not be able to bear it. The girl lost control when they got together.

"I'm going back to find Shen Chongshan." Gu Zhi said a little depressed.

To be honest, Shen Nian wasn't too surprised to hear this answer. Perhaps Shen Chongshan gave Shen Nian the association of "falling in love", so when the word "falling in love" came out of Gu Zhi's mouth again, Shen Nian immediately There were already speculations, and now that Gu Zhi said so, it was nothing but confirmed.

"Why didn't you ask me?" Shen Nian looked at Gu Zhi who had done something wrong with his head down: "I can tell you now."

"You can't sleep well at night, how can I ask?" Gu Zhi's voice was muffled: "If I ask you again, what if there is new pressure? You are about to take the college entrance examination."

Shen Nian was silent for a few seconds, his eyes softened: "You haven't slept well these days, have you?"

"I'm worried about you." Gu Zhi grabbed his hand and looked up at him: "I hope you're fine."

"I'm ready, I figured it out."

Gu Zhi's eyes flicked back and forth on Shen Nian's face, as if he was confirming whether this sentence was true:

"What Niannian didn't understand before was what Shen Chongshan said. After you get a girlfriend in the future, what should we do? Now that you think about it, do you decide not to have a girlfriend, or do you want to be my own Niannian? ?”

Gu Zhi's question was even more unexpected than when Shen Nian knew that he was looking for Shen Chongshan. He originally thought that Shen Chongshan would tell him what he had said to him. The abnormal speculation about the relationship between them, but surprisingly, Gu Zhi didn't seem to think so at all.

I don't know what Shen Chongshan said to him, but he was completely focused on the point that he would make a girlfriend and leave him, and he didn't understand Shen Chongshan's real worry.

But it was also because of this that made Shen Nian a little more relaxed. After all, he was indirectly sure that Gu Zhi had no other thoughts, and he didn't even know what he liked, otherwise, how could he talk to himself? What about love?

Gu Zhi didn't even understand what Shen Chongshan really wanted to express.

He was so smart that he didn't want to understand this matter, which made Shen Nian a little dumbfounded, but Shen Nian didn't plan to tell him, if he didn't understand, he didn't understand, the more he understood, the more he thought. That's fine now.

"Yes." Shen Nian said: "But then I figured it out, I'm not suitable for having a girlfriend, so I don't need to think about the future, it's good that we stay with each other all the time."

Gu Zhi looked at him with bright eyes, he didn't know what he was thinking, Shen Nian didn't question him, just looked at him and smiled: "Of course, if one day the little fox has a girl he likes, wants to fall in love, wants to have a girlfriend , is also possible, I will not..."

Before Shen Nian finished speaking, Gu Zhi raised his hand to cover his mouth. Shen Nian was forced to stop what he was about to say and looked up at him. Gu Zhi also stared at him intently. The distance was too close and the light was too bright. They can see themselves in each other's eyes.

"I don't know how to have a girlfriend." Gu Zhi said, "I just want to be with Nian Nian, now, and in the future, forever."

Shen Nian looked away silently for a few seconds, and took away the hand that was covering her:

"Wash your hands? Just touch my mouth."

Gu Zhi didn't wash his hands, he pushed Shen Nian against the door after he came back and went crazy, now he was reminded by Shen Nian that he should wash his hands, but he didn't move at this moment, he stood where he looked down at his palm, feeling that Itchy.

It's not the itching in the palm of the hand, it's the itching that creeps up from the palm of the hand to the heart little by little. It doesn't make people feel annoying, but it's a little comfortable.

The touch of Shen Nian's lips was still in the palm of his hand, it was so soft, softer than the cotton candy he had ever eaten.

Shen Nian didn't know what Gu Zhi was thinking, but he was already tired of leaning on the door panel, so he pushed Gu Zhi away and entered the room. Gu Zhi looked back at him because of Shen Nian's action, and his eyes fell silently on his face. On the lips, I can't help but think, it's so soft when I touch it with my hand, if I bite it, will it be softer?

I want to eat a little.

But Niannian hurts, right?Gu Zhi gave up this idea with a sigh.

He didn't want to make Nian Nian hurt.

Shen Chongshan's influence on Shen Nian and Gu Zhi disappeared most of the night, leaving only a slight trace, but it will not affect them anymore. When sleeping, Gu Zhi will come to sleep with Shen Nian, Shen Nian He didn't refuse either, he just put his pillow inside, and Gu Zhi looked at him:

"I was out."

The bed was too narrow, he was a little worried that Shen Nian would fall off.

"It might rain tonight." Shen Nian said, "Sleep in."

In fact, the injuries that Ning Jia once gave him are already far away from Gu Zhi, who has never taken the initiative to think of them, but when it is rainy, Gu Zhi's bad mood and trembling body will remind him that those shadows have always been there. , never disappears.

Even though he had Shen Nian by his side when he was afraid these two years, it didn't get any better, he was still afraid, trembling, and tightly holding onto Shen Nian's hand.

And Shen Nian has also become more aware of the weather forecast than Gu Zhi, as long as it is cloudy and rainy, he will hold him and hug him, these may not be able to erase the harm that Ning Jia caused him, but at least let him have some peace when he is afraid. So Yi, tell him that I am here.

Shen Chongshan appeared in front of Shen Nian three days later. After school in the afternoon, Shen Nian and Gu Zhi went back to the rental house for dinner. Before they got close, they saw Shen Chongshan standing downstairs in the rental house. There was a luggage bag at his feet. , it seems that they are going out, and come to see them before leaving.

Perhaps it was because of the parting words that Shen Chongshan told Gu Zhi that Gu Zhi once again became hostile to him, so the first time he saw Shen Chongshan, Gu Zhi took Shen Nian's hand, as if he was afraid that he would be killed. As if Shen Chongshan took him away, he didn't even intend to let Shen Chongshan and Shen Nian say anything, and wanted to take him upstairs directly.

Shen Chongshan's gaze shifted from their faces to the hands they were holding because of Gu Zhi's movements.

Shen Nian was somewhat uncomfortable, especially the way Shen Chongshan looked at them was the same as when he first hinted that Shen Nian should not be like this. Shen Nian was still a little disgusted, but he was standing here, so he couldn't say a word Did not say.

Gently tugged Gu Zhi's hand that was about to take him away, and Gu Zhi knew what he meant.

Shen Nian smiled at him: "You go up first."

"No." Gu Zhi refused without thinking: "If you want to go up, go up together. If you want to talk to him, I will accompany you."

Gu Zhi was very stubborn, Shen Nian didn't insist on hearing the words, and walked towards Shen Chongshan, but his hand was still held by Gu Zhi.

It wasn't until they walked in front of them that Shen Chongshan looked away from the hands they were holding and turned to look at them, explaining the purpose of coming unnaturally:

"Dad is going to run a car. You will be back before the college entrance examination."

"No need." Gu Zhi said, "If you came back to influence him, you don't need to come back, I will take good care of Nian Nian, I don't need you."

Shen Nian turned to look at Gu Zhi, Gu Zhi's innocent eyes were obvious, and he complained softly, "I'm not wrong."

It's not wrong, it's just that Shen Nian doesn't want to make things too rigid.

"Dad." Shen Nian looked at him: "You are busy with your work, so you don't need to come back."

"I still have to come back." Shen Chongshan didn't say anything to Gu Zhi's complaint, and looked at Shen Nian: "What happened a few days ago was because Dad panicked, and he didn't even think about your upcoming college entrance examination. If I pay attention , you will not be affected, this matter is Dad's fault, Dad apologizes to you. "

Subconsciously, Gu Zhi wanted to say something, but Shen Nian squeezed his hand, so he stopped and didn't say any more.

"Dad, I have already figured it out these days. What you are worried about is meaningless to me. Gu Zhi and I just live together and accompany each other. He just relies on me more than ordinary people. As for other things ……You think too much."

"I'm just worried about the future..." Shen Chongshan said, "If you..."

"You think too much." Shen Nian repeated it again with a slightly tough tone, without saying anything else.

It was the first time for Shen Chongshan to see such an expression on Shen Nian's face. He was stunned for a moment and did not insist on saying anything. He nodded and smiled awkwardly:

"That's fine, that's fine."

Having said all this, it seemed that there was no need to stay any longer. Shen Chongshan bent down silently for a few seconds and picked up the luggage bag at his feet without looking at them. posture:

"Then dad is leaving, you are all right."

After saying this, Shen Chongshan walked away, and when passing by Shen Nian, Shen Nian stopped him: "Dad."

Shen Chongshan stopped and looked at him sideways. Shen Nian watched him silently for a few seconds and said, "There is no need to rush back for the college entrance examination, I will do my best."

"I'm coming back." Shen Chongshan said, with a relieved smile: "This is a big event, Dad doesn't want to miss it, don't be too tired, take care of your body."

"You too." Shen Nian said.

Shen Chongshan responded without saying anything else, and walked away. Shen Nian kept looking at him until his figure disappeared around the corner and he could no longer be seen. More or less dissatisfied, Shen Nian raised his hand and rubbed his head:

"Okay, I'm hungry."

The matter of Shen Nian is a big deal for Gu Zhi. He said that he is hungry, so Gu Zhi's own emotions are not a big deal. Although he is still not satisfied with his attitude towards Shen Chongshan, we can talk about it after dinner. It's not impossible, so he shut his mouth and led him upstairs by the hand.

The days go on like this. In less than two months, whether it is short or long, it will be the college entrance examination in a blink of an eye.

The school had a holiday two days before the college entrance examination, allowing them to take a good rest and welcome the turning point in their lives in the best condition.

Shen Nian is an obedient and good boy. He really slept well all day in the rented house. In the morning, Gu Zhi cooked a meal and woke him up. Lying on the bed, Gu Zhi also had a holiday at noon, when he entered the door, he unexpectedly found that he was still awake.

It wasn't until the meal was ready that Shen Nian opened his eyes in a daze. This kind of Shen Nian made Gu Zhi very distressed. He was really tired. He didn't seem to have slept enough since the third year of high school, but at the same time he was a little bit tired. Worrying, did Shen Nian relax too early?

After eating together, Gu Zhi didn't dare to let him sleep again:

"Don't sleep in the afternoon, what if you can't sleep at night and your condition is not good tomorrow?"

Shen Nian also felt that he couldn't sleep anymore, but just nodded and said yes, the next second he started yawning, Gu Zhi couldn't bear to see his state, so he hugged him and lay on the bed: "Half a An hour, only half an hour, I will call you when the time comes."

Shen Nian should be quite sleepy, but I don't know if it made up for it. After lying on the bed, he couldn't fall asleep. Gu Zhi could feel the change in his breathing. After waiting for a while, he didn't hear any change, so he raised his head and looked He glanced at:

"Don't sleep?"

"It doesn't seem to be sleepy anymore." Shen Nian turned over and lay down on his back, then he thought it was too hot for Gu Zhi to hug him, so he pushed him: "Hot."

Gu Zhi smiled and stopped hugging him, lying flat on the bed like him, staring at the ceiling fan that kept turning overhead, and no one spoke for a while.

But they all like the atmosphere.

After a full afternoon of eating and drinking, in a not-so-cool room, the two teenagers lay side by side on the bed, looking forward to the future in the near future.

"What are you thinking about?" Shen Nian touched Gu Zhi, it was rare for him to be so quiet, which surprised Shen Nian.

Gu Zhi laughed: "I miss Shanghai."

Shen Nian curled his lips and didn't speak, but it was exactly what he thought.

"Nian Nian, after going to Shanghai, don't you go to see Liang Qiu often, okay? He's very annoying." Gu Zhi said, "Let's find a house far away from him. It's best to see him once a month, or once every two months." Just fine."

It's been two years, although the meeting between Gu Zhi and Liang Qiu is not so serious, but the atmosphere is definitely not easy, but fortunately, after Liang Qiu realizes that Gu Zhi really loves Shen Nian, he treats Gu Zhi very well. He also tolerated a lot, and although he disagreed with his possessiveness, he didn't say anything more.

After all, Shen Nian didn't feel any discomfort at all.

At this time, Shen Nian couldn't help laughing when he heard Gu Zhi's words: "Then what if Liang Qiu and I are in the same school?"

"Impossible." Gu Zhi said firmly, "I don't believe he will be admitted to Fudan University."

Shen Nian wanted to say something, but the phone rang.This is a mobile phone that Shen Chongshan bought for the two of them when they were renting a house. He said that there was no phone in the rental house, so they could contact each other conveniently. Nothing has changed, it's normal not to make a phone call once in half a month, and I don't even send text messages.

On the contrary, Liang Qiu could contact them anytime and anywhere, although it still made Gu Zhi feel uncomfortable, but fortunately he was in Shanghai, so he couldn't see them, so he could bear it by gritting his teeth.

The call was from Liang Qiu, Gu Zhi took the phone from the table and saw Liang Qiu's name on it, he muttered dissatisfiedly: "I really can't bear to talk about it."

He was unwilling to give the phone to Shen Nian, but he also knew that it was impossible for Shen Nian not to answer it, so he gave it in the end. Seeing his dissatisfied expression but having to give it to Shen Nian, he found it really interesting, and couldn't help raising his hand. Rubbed his face, then took the phone and answered:

"Liang Qiu."

"How is it?" Liang Qiu was very excited on the other end of the phone: "How is the status? Are you ready to come to Shanghai?"

Shen Nian laughed because of Liang Qiu's excitement: "Why are you so excited?"

"It's been three years, Shen Xiaonian!" Liang Qiu said, "After three years apart, I can finally be together again, can I not be excited? What? Are you excited to be together again?"

"Keep this state." Shen Nian said, "Take it to the examination room tomorrow, and you will be invincible."

"Don't worry!" Liang Qiu said triumphantly, "I have worked so hard to go to the same school as you for the past two years. Su Xiaoxiao even said that I have changed my temper."

Shen Nian debunked him coldly on the phone: "Is it because of me? Isn't it because someone's target at the same table is also Fudan University?"

Liang Qiu was choked for a moment and didn't speak immediately. It took a few seconds to find his own voice: "Shen Xiaonian, I haven't seen you for a few months and you've learned a lot? Did that kid Gu Zhi lead you into trouble?"

The quality of the phone call is not very good. Even if the hands-free is not turned on, the voice from the receiver still leaks out. Gu Zhi can hear Liang Qiu's voice clearly, but he is too lazy to talk to Liang Qiu, and he is too lazy to even quarrel, so he just keeps talking. Beside Shen Nian curled his lips to express his dissatisfaction, Shen Nian saw his expression, reached out to hold Gu Zhi's hand while responding to Liang Qiu:

"Don't say that, Gu Zhi is fine."

"Just listen to me?" Liang Qiu didn't mind at all: "Just listen to me, then let me say one more thing, when you come to Shanghai, you will be mine alone, no matter how possessive he is, his hands You can’t extend it to Shanghai, can you?”

Regarding the agreement between Shen Nian and Gu Zhi, Shen Nian never told Liang Qiu. He felt that there was no need to say it specifically, and there was no suitable opportunity. Hearing what Liang Qiu said at this time, Shen Nian was still hesitating whether to say it now or consider it. When I told him again, Gu Zhi next to me couldn't help it anymore:

"I will follow Nian Nian to Shanghai. Nian Nian belongs to me alone and has nothing to do with you."

"What are you doing here? Don't you go to school?" Liang Qiu was puzzled, but he didn't doubt Gu Zhi's words. After all, this kid is indeed unlikable, but he doesn't tell lies.

"I'm self-taught." Gu Zhi said, "I made an appointment with Nian Nian."

Liang Qiu fell silent on the phone again. Shen Nian was worried that it would affect his state tomorrow, so he wanted to make up for it. At the same time, he glanced at Gu Zhi with disapproval. Gu Zhi didn't feel guilty at all. Anyway, he couldn't listen to Liang Qiu. Qiu said that Shen Nian belonged to him alone, even though he knew in his heart that it was actually a joke.

"Liang Qiu, actually..."

"Do you agree?" Liang Qiu asked, "It's not a trivial matter. Neither of you have been here. The consumption in Shanghai is very high, and the rent is not cheap. You can live in a dormitory by yourself and save a lot of expenses. But If you want to be together, rent a house, live, and ask for money everywhere, can Uncle Shen agree?"

These are very realistic issues. Shen Nian may not have considered it too clearly when making the decision, but he has thought about it completely during this period of time. He knows this is a problem, but he promised Gu Zhi, and he does not want to go back on his word:

"I work part-time."

"You..." Liang Qiu probably still wanted to say something, but considering that the college entrance examination is going to be tomorrow, he didn't want to distract Shen Nian, so he swallowed the words and sighed helplessly: "Okay, you guys Just make a decision, no matter what, the first step is to pass tomorrow's level smoothly."

"Shen Xiaonian, the flag has won! I'll be waiting for you in Shanghai!" Liang Qiu said.

"Okay." Shen Nian said, "Come on, too."

Hanging up the phone with Liang Qiu, before Shen Nian put the phone down, Gu Zhi grabbed his hand: "Nian Nian, you can't go back on your word."

When he thought about this sentence, he knew that he was uneasy again, he was always so insecure: "When did I say I regretted it?"

"I'm afraid, I'm too afraid that you will leave me behind." Gu Zhi said, "I know that what Liang Qiu said is all about problems, but you believe me, I won't drag you down, I will take you as I am now. Take good care of me, and I will study hard, I will definitely go to the same school as you, and I will just go ahead of time with you, you have to take me, you must take me."

Shen Nianyu couldn't bear Gu Zhi's obvious panic, and raised his hand to rub his hair: "No, we can overcome difficulties together, I keep my word."

Gu Zhi looked at Shen Nian without blinking, and he breathed a sigh of relief after confirming that there was no trace of lying: "Don't worry about Nian Nian, although I am young, I can still work part-time. Tired, as long as I can be with you, I am not afraid of anything, we will be fine, and we will get better and better."

"You are not yet 16 years old, no one will use yours." Shen Nian looked away from his face with a smile, and looked at the electric fan above his head again: "Just study honestly, since I can let you and me If we leave together, there must be a way.”

Gu Zhi didn't express anything, but he secretly made up his mind that he would never let Shen Nian suffer.

"Have you told Shen Chongshan about this?"

Shen Nian shook his head: "Let's talk after the exam."

"That's right." Gu Zhi said, "Now that I've said it, he has decided to oppose it again to affect your mood. Anyway, we have already made such a decision, and it won't change anything."

"I'm going to Shanghai with Nian Nian." Gu Zhi hugged Shen Nian again: "I haven't been there yet, but our homeroom teacher has been there, he told us about the Bund, the Oriental Pearl Tower, the Huangpu River, I thought it was very beautiful when I heard it, and I want to see it with you, shall we go together?"

"Okay." Shen Nian said, "But can you let me go now, I'm very hot."

Gu Zhi smiled for a while before letting go of Shen Nian, and looked at the ceiling with him: "With Nian Nian, no matter what you do is good."

Shen Nian smiled and didn't say anything else, but Gu Zhi didn't know what he thought of and turned his head to tell Shen Nian, but he was stunned as soon as he turned around, only Shen Nian's lips were left in his sight, Shen Nian seemed to have just licked his lips. After a while, the water is moist, like jelly.

This is not the first time, during this time Gu Zhi felt as if he had been possessed by an evil spirit, he would be attracted by Shen Nian's lips from time to time, and he had more and more urge to take a bite.

It must taste good.

He felt like he couldn't control himself.

But the little lunatic Gu Zhi also dared not do things, at least not now, although he didn't know why, but he always felt that Nian Nian would be angry because he bit him, so let's wait until the exam is over, and he will bite everything after the exam.

If you are angry, you will be angry, just coax him.

It was agreed to take a good rest today, but because Gu Zhi watched him and wouldn't let him sleep, Shen Nian was bored and did another set of questions, looking for the status, and when he was done, Gu Zhi who was with him Zhi had already fallen asleep on the desk, Shen Nian stared at him for a few seconds, and when he was about to go back to pack his things, Gu Zhi asked him:

"finished?"

Shen Nian looked at Gu Zhi, he was still lying there with his eyes closed, if he wasn't sure, it was Gu Zhi's voice, Shen Nian almost suspected that he was hallucinating:

"Didn't sleep?"

"Sleeping." Gu Zhi put his chin on the back of his hand, opened his eyes sleepily and looked at Shen Nian: "I'll wake up when you're done."

"What kind of ears are so smart."

Gu Zhi smiled and looked at him: "What do you want to eat tonight?"

"Go out and eat." Shen Nian said while confirming the documents and answering pens needed for tomorrow's exam, putting them in a transparent file bag, and putting them on the table: "Eat something OK."

In the past, Shen Nian would agree to anything Gu Zhi said, but this time he didn't nod:

"Whatever you want to eat, I'll make it for you, don't go out."

"What's wrong? Don't want to go out?"

"The things outside are not clean, what if you have a stomachache?" Gu Zhi completely opened his eyes and looked at Shen Nian: "After Nian Nian finishes the exam, you can go out to eat whatever you want, just stick to it for another two days."

Regarding Shen Nian's matters, Gu Zhi always cared a little more than Shen Nian himself.He thought about the bad possibility and possible consequences in advance, and took precautions in advance, so that Shen Nian would have as little worries as possible.

In Shen Nian's 17 years of life, it was the first time that a person thought about himself so much, for his own sake, Shen Nian has been keeping this thought in a safe place.

"Okay, listen to you." Shen Nian looked at him with a smile: "But there is nothing at home? Shall I go out with you to buy something?"

"I'll go by myself." Gu Zhi sat up straight: "What do you want to eat?"

"Let's go together." Shen Nian said, "I've been sitting all afternoon, you must let me do some exercise, right?"

Gu Zhi also liked to go out with Shen Nian, so seeing that Shen Nian wanted to go, he didn't insist too much, and stood up with a smile: "Then I'll go wash my face, and Nian Nian waits for me."

"it is good."

Gu Zhi got up to go to the bathroom, Shen Nian tidied up the desk, and before he put away the papers, the cell phone on the corner of the desk rang.

Shen Nian thought it was still Liang Qiu, after all Liang Qiu was essentially a person who couldn't hold back his words, the previous phone call might have made him feel inappropriate after thinking about it and couldn't help but want to talk to Shen Nian, Shen Nian also She was ready to persuade Liang Qiu, but after Shen Nian picked up the phone, she realized that it was not Liang Qiu, but Shen Chongshan.

He said he would come back before the college entrance examination, but he had no contact with them other than remitting living expenses once and calling to tell them, so he is back now?

No matter what the reason, the phone is always answered.

When Shen Nian pressed the answer button, Gu Zhi just came out of the bathroom. Hearing the voice, Shen Nian turned his head to look at Gu Zhi and smiled. By the way, he greeted Shen Chongshan on the other end of the phone:

"dad."

Gu Zhi, who was originally in a good mood, was inexplicably worried because of the name Shen Nian said.

Maybe it's because of what happened before that he has lingering fears. He was always worried that this phone call would affect Shen Nian. He still had time to make adjustments before, but now that the critical moment has come, Gu Zhi doesn't want any more surprises.

He stepped over and wanted to answer the phone for Shen Nian, no matter what he wanted to do after the college entrance examination, but before he came to him, Gu Zhi saw Shen Nian's face completely changed.