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Yan Yeran lay quietly on the hospital bed.

When the doctor examined him, Jiang Qi stayed by the bed.

Jiang Qi was still in a daze when he was carefully dismissed by the nurse.

Knowing that he was in the way, he nodded, took a step back, and squeezed up again immediately after the inspection.

In the end, it was confirmed that Yan Yeran was fine, and he told her to change the dressing if she hadn't woken up after an hour.Only then did Jiang Qi's tense body relax a little.

Before leaving, the doctor asked Jiang Qi if he needed to have a check-up too. Jiang Qi didn't speak, just lowered his eyes and waved his hands, as if he didn't listen to anything.

The door closed, and he suddenly slumped down without strength.

The floor was no colder than his body temperature, and his back, which was always straight, suddenly leaned against the bedside table, and he couldn't feel the coldness of the corners. His whole arm was hanging down by his side, and his head was buried deep in exhaustion.

It's like the soul of the whole person is being emptied.

He could smell the air mixed with the medicine and the smell of Yan Yeran, and Jiang Qi's mind was awakened again.

He raised his eyes from extreme exhaustion and looked at Yan Yeran who was less than half a meter away from him.

Yan Yeran, who was out of danger, was sleeping soundly, but Jiang Qi fell into his own critical moment.

He looked at Yan Yeran for a long time, and suddenly he spoke with an unreasonably hoarse voice: "Since you want to settle accounts with all those who have harmed you, why don't you come to me."

Yan Yeran will take revenge on those who hurt him, showing his sharp teeth hidden under his gentleness, no matter what the end is, but he chooses to face it.

But when it was Jiang Qi's turn, he wouldn't even hate him.

Obviously Jiang Qicai should be the culprit.

But Yan Yeran always showed a kind of soft strength in front of Jiang Qi, and those eyes were full of hope and light at all times.

With such clean and pure eyes, when he laughed, it made people think that he had never cried.

So today, Jiang Qi thought that he saw more of Yan Yen.

He followed behind him, resolving those past grievances for Yan Yeran, and when he cleaned up the mess that Yan Yeran was not good at cleaning up, he thought he was closer to Yan Yeran.

But it's not true at all.

What Yan Yeran wanted was not such venting.

He is completely different from Jiang Qi's temperament of revenge and revenge. He is not the kind of person who will punch him back if someone punches him.He has his persistence.

But no one has ever taught Yan Yeran how to vent, he can only mistakenly think that violence is the last way out.No one has heard his resentment and hatred, he can only be ignorant and use rough methods to comfort himself.

But after doing all this, Yan Yeran is still riddled with holes, and the wounds he needs to be repaired are still bleeding.

Because I couldn't hold on anymore, I decided to fall.

Jiang Qi felt the pain of being pierced by a blunt knife without seeing blood.

He raised his hand and approached Yan Yeran slowly, but stopped in front of his brows without touching, fearing that Yan Yeran would wake up.

"They said you jumped to save people... so can you tell me you didn't go there in the first place to end it all?"

Jiang Qi wanted to find evidence that Yan Yeran hadn't given up on him.

Before he finished speaking, he suddenly withdrew his hand to cover his eyes.

But it was still too late, tears rolled down from the corner he had no time to cover.

After a moment of silence, when Jiang Qi put down his hand again, there was no sign of crying, but his face was pale and painful,

"We're not over yet, and I won't let it end. Yan Yeran, did you hear that?"

Yan Yeran woke up the next morning.

At that time, Jiang Qi just went to wash his face, and when he came back, he saw Yan Yeran smiling at him with a sick and weak face.

It was the kind of flawless, but full of flaws, camouflage.

"Why are you here? Did they call you? Did I cause you trouble?" Yan Yeran seemed apologetic, scratched her ears, pursed her pale lips, and said, "I'm sorry, I’m like that, I can’t do a single thing well.”

Jiang Qi's eyelids trembled and tightened subconsciously, suppressing the soreness in his eyes.He wanted to open his mouth and say something, but found his throat tightened again.

The more cute Yan Yeran's smile, the more Jiang Qi felt stupid.

Why didn't he understand earlier that Yan Yeran's optimism and strength were already full of flaws.

Jiang Qi lowered his eyes, hiding the scarlet in his eyes, walked over and touched Yan Yeran's forehead, then took a towel to wipe the sweat from his forehead, changed his medicine, took his temperature, and poured him water .

Yan Yeran waited quietly for him to finish all this before speaking, and asked, "Do you know how that girl is doing last night?"

"Yeah." Jiang Qi sat on the edge of the bed and put his arms around Yan Yeran. He felt Yan Yeran's body trembling indistinctly, so he gently stroked his back and said, "I've already arranged for her. Psychological intervention, his parents have also found someone to communicate with."

"Oh..." Yan Yeran nodded lightly, he was probably a little slow to react, but he wasn't completely unaware.Jiang Qi appeared here, and his attitude was a bit unusual.So Yan Yeran tentatively asked, pretending nothing happened,

"Did Feng Yuan look for you?"

Jiang Qi paused,

He subconsciously wanted to say some evasive words to maintain the superficial stability as before, and he and Yan Yeran were similar to some extent.

I always think that I am thinking about the other party and watching the atmosphere.

But getting along with two people is not to maintain a kind of tranquility that will never be broken.

So he quickly contradicted himself.

The superficial stability is meaningless, and what Yan Yeran wants to know, if he doesn't say it, it will force him to hide his emotions again.

This time Jiang Qi did not evade his question.

Tell Yan Yeran everything.

Feng Yuan had already contacted his lawyer early this morning, but this was exactly what he wanted. Jiang Qi wanted to settle accounts with Feng Yuan with interest. From what he did to Yan Yeran in the company at the beginning, he continued to harass Yan later. It is true, even the attempt to threaten Yan is also true, every sum must be calculated clearly.

Zhao Qin's case is being retried. This matter is rather troublesome. Yan Yeran needs to go to the court in person next month.But Jiang Qi will accompany Yan Yeran, and he will not give anyone a chance to hurt Yan Yeran.

The formalities for Yan's house can be completed this week, just waiting for Yan Yeran's signature.It's not that the Yan family suddenly became reasonable, but because Jiang Qi didn't leave them a way out. Regardless of whether they return the house, the Yan family will be prepared to go bankrupt and liquidate.

It is true that Jiang Qi told Yan about this.

In fact, when he said these words, he seemed to anticipate something.

These results are too understated, as if they are talking about some inconspicuous news about people's livelihood on the TV station of a certain year and a certain month.

But Jiang Qi understood that these were Yan Yeran's life.

"So, you have solved it?" Yan Yeran lowered his head, his tone sounded very relaxed, and said, "That's great, I thought I would be bored for the rest of my life. I knew you were so powerful , I already told you..."

Jiang Qi is very familiar with his appearance.

Yan Yeran is used to this kind of bravado, and he hopes not to burden others at any time.

But this time Jiang Qi didn't go his way.

He kept looking at Yan Yeran, holding his shoulders to prevent him from escaping and curling up.He wants to hear Yan Yeran tell the truth once, instead of humiliating in front of him.

"Did I do something unnecessary?" Jiang Qi actually knew the answer when he asked.

"No." Yan Yeran shook his head again and again, and said, "I really hope to see that their evil will be rewarded with evil, but I am not as capable as you, so you did the right thing and did it well."

"You look at me and say."

Yan Yeran dodged a bit: "I'm a little sleepy, I want to sleep..."

Jiang Qibian refused.

This was the first time he didn't let Yan Yeran back down.

Yan Yeran refused to look up at him, so he leaned down, bent over, and tried hard to catch Yan Yeran's out-of-focus eyes.

Seeing Yan Yeran who had been avoiding him all the time, Jiang Qi could only teach him persuasively:

"From our past and your past, counting everything down until today, you have never made a mistake, not once. Even if you want to fight back, you still have your bottom line, you have never done what you need Something to escape from. Just look at me, okay?"

Jiang Qi's hand slowly caressed Yan Yeran's cheek, and they looked at each other slowly, he said, "Don't bow your head, but of course, you never have to bow your head in front of anyone, especially me."

Perhaps it was because Jiang Qi, who pursued to the end like this, was too strong, so that Yan Yeran was finally at a loss and could only face it.

Or maybe it was Yan Yeran who had escaped for too long and had no way out.

Under Jiang Qi's guidance, he finally raised his eyes again.

But what he said was still weak: "Jiang Qi, do you think I'm stupid?"

Before Jiang Qi could answer anything, he saw tears welling up in those eyes.

"I'm just stupid. Everyone learns from a pit, but I still can't learn it after suffering so much. Are you also thinking in your heart, Yan Yeran, a fool, hasn't become smarter after ten years .I will always stay where I am, and I can't teach me any lessons... But Jiang Qi, I can't help it, I can't do it."

Jiang Qi wanted to hug him, but Yan Yeran's hand gently held him back.

He could only endure his distress, and told Yan Yeran: "You are not stupid, but just because you can't do something that hurts others doesn't mean you are stupid. You are just kind and brave. You know everything, but you don't want to be kind. They're just as bad, how can you be stupid?"

He stretched out his palm to catch Yan Yeran's tears that kept falling.

But these words did not comfort Yan Yeran, nor could he stop Yan Yeran from crying.

Yan Yeran's tears were the same as his emotions, like a sudden rainstorm, pouring down at this moment, and it couldn't stop.

"But after so many years, everyone is getting better, only I am still at the same place... I have made a mess of my life."

At first he grabbed Jiang Qi's hand, and later he grabbed Jiang Qi's clothes, the more he talked, the more he couldn't make a sound, the tears fell very hard,

"I'm not as good as you, and I can't become a very good person. Can I just go back to my previous life? I don't have to be an omega, and I don't want too many good days. If you don't want me, I will wash off the mark myself, and I will not pester you. I only need to have food, drink and a place to live every day, can’t I? Is this really not possible?”

He started crying and couldn't stop.

Jiang Qi knew that he needed to vent, so he didn't interrupt him, but when he heard Yan Yeran say such words, he suddenly felt a sharp pain in his heart, and every word was like a whip to his heart.

"I didn't want you. How dare I not want you?"

Jiang Qi endured the pain all over his body, he finally ignored Yan Yeran's resistance, and hugged her into his arms.

He may have felt it a long time ago, but he really understood it at this moment.

What Yan Ye wanted was never a powerful backer, not someone who would follow him and clean up the mess for him.

Yan Yeran just wanted to be alone by his side.

When he is helpless, hesitant and angry, face him with him.When he was standing on the bridge of the rushing river, hold his hand.

Yan also wants very little.

But Jiang Qi failed to give him that peace of mind.

They never give each other a chance, but they don't give themselves a chance.

"Of course, you don't need to desperately make changes you don't want to make. As long as you want, you can be yourself forever, whether you are 28 years old, you don't need to compare yourself with anyone, even yourself. You have always been like this People who can't be cruel, but there is no rule that people must become cruel. If you don't want to hate anyone, then you don't have to hate. Since you can't become a bad person, you will always be kind."

"Of course, I'll help you with all the bad things you don't want to do. If you don't want to be cruel, I'll do it for you. You don't have to face it yourself, I will always be with you,"

Yan Yeran was trembling all over.

Jiang Qi's words are so touching, if this is a promise, there is no one in this world who is not addicted.Even if it was a lie, Yan Yeran was almost moved.

He never expected to hear this from Jiang Qi's mouth, and he soon fell into a violent collision of consciousness.

One, he is easily swayed by Jiang Qi, and wants to devote himself to Jiang Qi's strength and gentleness.

But the other one keeps warning himself: Don't look back, he doesn't love you.

Yan Yeran finally chose to give herself some dignity, so while wiping away the tears that would never be wiped away, she said: "I want to live alone, I must make those changes."

Jiang Qi accidentally hugged him too tightly, his arm was too strong, and Yan couldn't breathe: "Impossible, I will be with you."

"Jiang Qi, why don't you admit it? When you accepted me, it was because you couldn't bear my entanglement. Now you choose to keep me because of sympathy or responsibility. You spend the rest of your life loving what you deserve Man, isn't it good?"

They were originally crying and comforting each other, but at this moment, the wind direction suddenly changed.

Yan Yeran's tears barely stopped, but Jiang Qi's eyes were scarlet.

He seemed to have heard such a terrible or unbearable reprimand, his muscles were tense, the veins in his neck were bulging, and his voice was holding back some grievances amidst the ruthlessness:

"Yan Yeran, you actually think that I can still love others in my life."

Over the years, Jiang Qi imagined many endings for him and Yan Yeran.

Sometimes it will stop at the picture that stopped abruptly ten years ago.

Sometimes it was earlier, and I wished that he had never responded to Yan Yeran from the very beginning.

But most of the time, he would rather resign himself to see what happened to Yan Ye.

Did Yan Yeran have a good life in those later days that had nothing to do with him?

Jiang Qi believed that Yan Yeran would be better off without him.

So he will assume that he will die with regrets in his life.

Assuming Yan Yeran firmly leaves him is a good thing, at least one of them will achieve consummation.

After all, Jiang Qi warned Yan Yeran a long time ago that there might not be a good life with him.

The young Jiang Qi already knew all these misplacements. He called Yan Ye stupid, chose the wrong person, told Yan Ye to get out, and don't entangle with people like him.

He thought that Yan Yeran should soon get tired of this kind of chasing game, and soon realized that he, Jiang Qi, was not someone worth entrusting his life to.

But Yan is also stronger than him.

All the innocence, kindness, warmth and love, Yan Yeran gave him all, without reservation.

If Jiang Qi of that year never looked back and kept going forward, they would not have those messy misses.

But he still turned around.

Jiang Qi tried to recall the moment when he decided to accompany Yan Yeran and went crazy.

I can't remember the result.

In those few years, there were many moments when he felt soft-hearted for Yan Yeran.

No one in this world can never waver in Yan Yeran's ardent and passionate love. Jiang Qi was just lucky to be chosen, so he was lucky to be the first to fall.

He restrained his urge to fall countless times, but failed every time.

At the last graduation party, Jiang Qi gave himself one last chance.

He thought to himself, show him the worst side of himself, scare away this young master who doesn't understand anything, and everything will be settled.

So he took Yan Yu-Yan Yeran, who was drunk but lingering on him, back to his precarious home.

The dilapidated houses in the non-jurisdictional area, even the lights are shining shabby.Jiang Qi has lived in such a dark and humid place for 18 years.

Pointing to everything around him, he said to Yan Yeran: "Look, this is my life. It's broken and torn, how dare you like it?"

Yan Yeran said, "Dare."

Jiang Qi's heart seemed to be tightly grasped by someone: "I'm a person with no bottom line, I'm as bad as hell. I may eat you up and throw you on the street at any time, do you know that?"

Yan Yeran said: "You are not bad."

"Then because you are stupid, you think no one is bad." Jiang Qiqi laughed and asked him forcefully, "I'll ask you now, if I were a heinous villain, would you still dare to like me?"

The trembling look that he imagined was frightened did not appear, Yan Yeran just hiccupped in a daze, and still cheerfully said to Jiang Qi: "Dare."

In fact, at that moment, Jiang Qi had already disarmed and surrendered.

He said to Yan Yeran: "I can't afford to love you."

What Yan Yeran understands is that if possible, I love you too.

He said to Yan Yeran: "I've been worthless in my life, we're so different."

What Yan Yeran understands is that Jiang Qi will work hard to be successful, and Yan Yeran will accompany Jiang Qi to go on.

It is impossible for Jiang Qi to find any way to refuse.

Because he knew that Yan Yeran's understanding was correct.

He said all the nasty things, but Yan Yeran could always hear the layer he was really hiding.

Jiang Qi had no choice, he couldn't bear to tell Yan Yeran to leave.

He wanted to hug him, want to have him, and want to accompany Yan Yeran to live the carefree and invincible life that the young master imagined in his heart.

Before that moment, Jiang Qi's life had been in darkness. He waited for the day when he would rot to the bone, and refused to look up to find the light.

But Yan Yeran never backed down, which gave Jiang Qi the courage to raise his head for the first time in his life.

He may have been the worst kind of person, a waste who lived at the bottom and would never see the light, but there was still a ray of light shining on him.

Just shine on him.

That night, he had a scorching hot sun.

In Jiang Qi's subsequent life, every time he tried to climb up, every time he lived desperately, he wanted to see that beam of light again.

However, the moment of parting was too sudden.

Jiang Qi didn't even learn how to love, he had to learn how to forget first.

He tried.

Even in the last year of the special training camp, he seemed to have really forgotten about Yan Yeran.

At that time, everyone felt that there was no turning back in their lives, and that there was only one way to leave the special training camp, and that was to die.And people who are going to die can't have any worries.

They've learned there how to knock out all the emotions, and most of them do.

Jiang Qi didn't look any different either.

His comrades can forget their parents and relatives, their lovers who have been in love for many years, and their children who are close relatives.

There was no reason why he couldn't forget a boy whom he had only hastily loved.

In those few years, he was responsible for himself only by being ruthless to everything, and he could sacrifice his life without any worries.

People who come out of the special training camp cannot cry, because the emotional breakdown will lead to the loss of sanity.

The failure of the mission is second, and death is death, but fear and sadness are flaws, and they are ordered not to reveal any emotions of their own.

So at the moment of dying, no one cried.

Jiang Qi was waiting to die amidst the explosion, surrounded by the remains of his former comrade-in-arms, the head was broken, and the bright red sticky inside flowed out, splashing on Jiang Qi's neck and face.

Someone was still breathing, only half of his body was left, struggling to ask Jiang Qi: "Are you going to be a deserter?"

If they have their last breath left, they should rush out and fight the enemy to the death.But Jiang Qi is an unqualified fighter because he hesitated for a few seconds.

That invasion was the wrong strategy of the special training camp. Jiang abandoned that group, and he was the only one left in the end.

Some people wondered why Jiang Qi survived. They really thought he was a deserter.

In fact, the results of the survey were beyond everyone's expectations.

Jiang Qi didn't run away, didn't hide, although he didn't complete the secret mission of this strategic failure perfectly, but he came back with the broken remains of several comrades in arms.

He's the best of the survivors—

Didn't go crazy, didn't get seriously injured, stayed awake until the last second.

When applying for retirement, they asked Jiang Qi, how did you survive at that time?

Jiang Qi said, I don't know.

He just doesn't want to die.

Because he has seen his sun, he is no longer willing to die in a corner where the sun cannot be seen.

After coming out of the special training camp, in the eyes of everyone, this is a genius who turned out to be an elite. He has a mysterious background and is indomitable in many things.

Everyone looks up to him, worships him, and countless people want to be close to him.

But no one knows that Jiang Qi's life is still dark.

He waited for a long time, countless sunrise and sunset, waiting for his dawn.

But the day Yan Yeran came back, Jiang Qi was scared.

He didn't seem to know how to face this lover who suddenly appeared.Because it was a full ten years, and it was a reunion after two life and death intertwined, calm and breezy.

They were all afraid of exposing their scars and scaring each other, so they whitewashed the peace.But Jiang Qi has his damn paranoia again, he wants to hide his past, but he definitely wants to investigate Yan Yeran's past.

Now, the scars of the two people have been uncovered together, bloody.Jiang Qi didn't feel any pain at all.

Only Yan Yeran said: I feel that you don't love me.

Jiang Qi felt the lonely demise of exposing corpses in the wilderness.

He refused to budge on the matter.

They clearly love each other, and they shouldn't end up in such a mess.

……

Jiang Qi did not expect that it would be such a simple matter to tell the past.

Because facing the only true love in his life, every secret is stripping away his sincerity.

He needs Yan Yeran to understand how much he loves him.

"I used to think that you would be fine without me, so I hid again and again. I restrained myself from controlling everything about you, and restrained myself from going crazy in front of you. But now I realize that I was completely wrong. I am The chief culprit that made you uneasy and painful. But now I know that you still love me, so go crazy. Yan Yeran, I can't let you go. "

Near noon, the scorching sun cast mottled light and shadow from the curtains and gauze.

One of the bunches hung on the wall and moved down almost visibly, gradually covering both of them.

Jiang Qi endured it for a long time before finally letting go of his embrace gently, allowing Yan Yeran to regain his breath from the stunned sobs.

"Of course, did you see it?"

Jiang Qi's true feelings came to an abrupt end, and he pointed to a ray of light on Yan Yeran's shoulder.

Yan Yeran was still immersed in Jiang Qi's confession just now, she couldn't react, she cried and sniffed her nose, and let out an "ah".

Jiang Qi grabbed his hand and opened it, and the sun was lying on his palm.

"The light is always on you, and I'm just the one who was lucky enough to be illuminated by you."

He held Yan Yeran's hand, placed it lightly between his brows, closed his eyes that were still sore and scarlet all night, and said,

"Yan Yeran, I survived for you. I love you more than anything, more than my life, even more than you love me. Did you hear that?"

The author has something to say: Mr. Jiang who is ruthlessly making love.

感谢在2022-05-1511：31：54～2022-05-1612：47：22期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦～

Thanks to the little angel who cast the rocket launcher: Haruka 1;

Thanks to the little angel who threw the grenade: 1 rabbit nest;

Thanks to the little angels who cast landmines: Chabeiium, Zhouzhou 1;

Thanks to the little angel who irrigates the nutrient solution: Dianqing. , out of 1 bottle;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!