32 days

After changing the place of work for many years, Yue Ximing quickly got rid of the unsuitable state, started to commute regularly, took care of his life, and occasionally called Yi Alan to report that he was safe.Except for sometimes worrying about Yi Alan's current situation, there is no discomfort in other areas of life, and it can even be said to be peaceful.Maybe it's because she doesn't miss the place she used to stay at all.

One day in mid-December, Yue Ximing got off work as usual, took off his white coat, took out warm uniforms from the cabinet and changed into them, walked out of the gate of the military hospital, and walked to the staff dormitory building 500 meters away against the gloomy wind. Received an unknown number.Maybe it was a certain patient, she connected without hesitation, and the content on the phone dropped even more suddenly.

"Ms. Yuexi Mingyue? I'm Ye Zhou." A man's voice said.

Yue Ximing never knew a man named Ye Zhou, but this name lurked in her heart like a thorn in the flesh. She once deliberately ignored it, but once she mentioned it, she immediately felt a lingering pain.

When Yi Yunshan—Yi Alan's father and her husband—died in a car accident, the two words "Ye Zhou" were displayed on the call page of the mobile phone he was holding tightly. The man is this "Ye Zhou".

Yue Ximing stood still in place.Ye Zhou said again: "I don't know if you remember me, Yi and I..."

Yue Ximing interrupted him: "I know you."

Ye Zhou let out a low oh, and then he didn't know what to say, and he didn't speak again.

The dry cold wind stings his face, Yue Ximing covered half of his face with a scarf, and asked indifferently: "What do you want to do?"

"I..." Ye Zhou said, "I have something to say to you."

"There should be nothing to say, I still have something to do, so I hung up."

"Wait!" Ye Zhou yelled hurriedly, "Don't you want to know what Yun Shan said to me before he died? He wanted me to convey something to you and Alan..."

"Don't call my son that," Yue Ximing's voice suddenly sharpened, "You don't deserve it."

"I'm sorry, it's Yunshan who keeps mentioning this in front of me—your son." Ye Zhou apologized repeatedly, gasping for emotion, "I've always remembered this matter all these years, it was Yunshan's last wish , but I didn't have enough courage to face you before, I'm really sorry."

"He died as soon as he died, what's so great about leaving a few words." Yue Ximing pulled down his hat again to block the wind that poured into his eyes, and wrapped his coat tightly so that she seemed to be put into a tight cover, " I'm not interested in."

"I know that the damage has been done to you and cannot be repaired, but," Ye Zhou said, "it's been 20 years. We're all starting to age. What I thought was important when I was young has become insignificant. The price I thought I could afford That's what I can't afford. Since that day, I've been half asleep and half awake every day, regretting all the time, something heavy weighs on me, and I don't realize until now that I have to talk to you Talk, from how Yunshan and I met, to his death. If you know that Yunshan has struggled so much, and know his truth when he was dying, maybe both of us can be relieved."

Yue Ximing gritted his teeth: "Do you want to say, do you have a reason? Even if you have done so many disgusting things, is there a reason? Should I forgive you?"

Ye Zhou choked up for a moment: "When I say relief, I don't mean completely letting go of what happened in the past, but that I don't have to live so hard now."

He suddenly burst into tears: "I'm sorry... I'm really sorry..."

Yue Ximing didn't respond for a long time, and when Ye Zhou thought she would never hear a response, she said, "What do you want to talk about?"

Ye Zhou breathed a sigh of relief: "You say a convenient time, choose a convenient place for you, I'll go find you, let's talk face to face. It's just right, I will return some things that Yunshan left with me."

Yue Ximing said: "This Sunday, in Beishan City People's Park."

"it is good."

However, at the moment when the goal was achieved, Ye Zhou couldn't help thinking, why did Yue Ximing finally agree to talk to him?Is it because she has always been brooding over Yi Yunshan's betrayal and wanted to find a reasonable explanation from him?Or, she no longer cared whether Yi Yunshan loved her or not, why he betrayed her, no longer cared about whether Yi Yunshan was a twin or just a loafer, but just as he said, she wanted to be relieved.She is living so hard now that she is willing to try to get relief.

There are some truths and falsehoods in Ye Zhou's words, but it is absolutely true when he said that he was overwhelmed. He had a hard life, and his memories were like a quagmire that made his present and future stuck in it, unable to extricate himself. He also thought about it at the most painful time, no matter what, can he be relieved?At this moment, he had an unprecedented understanding of Yue Ximing. This understanding was like a huge bronze bell being rang hard in his chest.

Ye Zhou was stunned, his face pale.He raised his head, and moved his gaze from the mobile phone with the loudspeaker turned on to the black muzzle of the gun pointed at himself.

He can be freed.

The oscillating bell in the chest burst out into a scream from the throat: "Call the police! Someone wants to harm you!"

Then a dull sound ended it all.

It was the sound of a gun with a silencer.

After getting the news, Yan Fei flew directly to Ye Zhou's residence.

Zheng Duo arranged for agents to escort Yi Alan to the irritated Yue Ximing.

In the car, Zheng Duo comforted Yi Alan: "Your mother is safe. For protection purposes, her calls are monitored, so we know who she talked to. Even if she is really invited to meet Ye Zhou , we will also have special personnel to follow and protect her, and will never let her fall into danger."

Yi Alan could only nod his head, and his chaotic thoughts tormented him like a lifeless puppet.

After an hour's flight, Yan Fei arrived at the protected site.

Ye Zhou was tied to a chair with his hands facing back, and was shot between the eyebrows, killing him instantly.Forensic investigators were carefully collecting fingerprints, footprints and other clues, but nothing was gained.

Yan Fei asked the leader of the police team who came here the first time, then went to a separate room and called Luo Caiyun to report: "It should be the work of spies from another country. I don't know which country it is for the time being. I only know that the method is very professional. No trace left. On the surface, they came for Yi Alan’s mother, but they must be trying to control Yi Alan by controlling Yue Ximing... These bastards! We purposely revealed the Joker’s story to trigger their crisis We should focus on finding Joker’s true identity from within our own country, instead of asking them to turn a corner and come back to find Yi Alan! If Yi Alan knew something, we would have known it a long time ago, and it’s their turn to do it?”

Yan Fei kept cursing.

When pushing open the door and going in, Yi Alan almost stepped on the air and fell.

In the living room, only grandma was walking around at a loss. Seeing that Yi Alan finally came, the old lady pursed her lips and held back her crying, pointing to one of the bedrooms.

Yi Alan hugged grandma lightly, then walked towards her mother's room.

Yue Ximing sat by the bed, heard the movement, and slowly raised his pale face: "Is he dead?"

Yi Alan could only say: "Dead."

Yue Ximing nodded expressionlessly, then nodded again.

Yi Alan walked over, avoided the scarves and hats scattered on the ground, and carefully squatted in front of her mother.

"You seem to be a little thinner." Yue Ximing gently stroked Yi Alan's hair.

"No." Yi Alan shook her head, "The clothes she's wearing are too thick, making her face look small, but she's not really thin."

Yue Ximing smiled and stretched his facial muscles, as if he couldn't control his tear glands, tears rolled down immediately: "Alan, they are dead, they are all dead..."

"I know." Yi Alan responded in a low voice.

Yue Ximing's voice increased involuntarily, almost hysterical: "Why are they all dead! They are the ones who are sorry for me, so why should they all die? You can't argue with the dead anymore. What about me? Who can I go to for my sufferings? Say? Nobody ever asked me how I felt, they fooled me, humiliated me, embarrassed me like a fool!"

"mom……"

"They are hurting me while they are alive, and they will continue to hurt me when they are dead!" Yue Ximing gritted his teeth, "Yi Yunshan is dead, and I will bear the embarrassing reputation for the rest of my life. I... Ye Zhou, how ridiculous it is to say, he died because of me? Did he think he was making atonement? Did he think that the crime he and Yi Yunshan committed together could be offset in this way? How selfish he is Ah! how selfish they are! I don't need his charity, I just want to hate him forever and never forgive him."

"Mom! You don't have to forgive them." Yi Alan put her knees on the ground and hugged Yue Ximing tightly, "No one has the right to ask you to forgive, no one can."

In this world, there is no God, no indulgences, and no rules that must be forgiven and reconciled.

If living with hatred is hard, it is not because of hatred, but because of hurt.Even if you don't hate, the damage is already there.Anyway, if you want to suffer all the time, it is better to make the hatred more pure, and let those tarsal maggot-like pains be vented along with the unforgettable hatred.

Yue Ximing was crying: "Alan, Mom, I have had a hard time. I can't forget the things that made me sick! But Ye Zhou died because of me. Does he need to use his life to make up for his sins? I should be sorry for him, but I still hate him! I can't stop hating, and I don't want to give up hating! Otherwise, what have I experienced? In the end, is my life a joke?"

Finally, she couldn't even hate purely, and her hatred was kidnapped on top of guilt.

"It's because of me." Yi Alan's eyes were moist, "Ye Zhou was killed because of me. Mom, don't blame yourself."

Yue Ximing put his arms around Yi Alan: "You are my son."

A lot of pain comes from me, from Yi Alan being Yue Ximing's son.Yi Alan thought to himself that his current sensitive identity has caused people around him to be targeted by some terrible things, even Ye Zhou, a stranger who had entanglements in the early years, was implicated.And if he liked girls, if he hadn't defended his sexuality with silence instead of shouting, Mom wouldn't have suffered so much.

"Hate that person."

Yi Alan put her face on Yue Ximing's knee, clinging to her dearest person like when he lost his father at the age of seven or eight, when he was ignorant and seemed to know a lot, he was like a child who refused to reconcile with the world stubborn.

"I hate him too, and I will always hate him."