this is love

[Please close the window and look forward to your dreams in the future.Let me hold your hand again without running away.No matter how ridiculous the worldly view is, I am willing to bear it for you. 】

March willow catkins, April spring breeze, ten miles of sunshine, peach blossoms are the reddest.The chill is lifted, and the swirling warmth comes with the revived taste of new soil. The newness and clarity are light, quiet and silent, wonderful and long-lasting.

Endless life is the tenderness of spring.

After six years, seeing that scene again, Pu Zhixiu felt a little like a dream.The back of Park Xingxiu leaning there is not thin, even unexpectedly tall and straight, but it is hard to hide the loneliness and desolation on his shoulders.He should have supported many unbearable weights in his life, but he never complained.

She is no longer panicked like she was back then. Living at the center of her life, it seems that she will downplay all the things that were once persistent and harsh, and put them in a corner where no one is around to observe quietly.She understands that force is useless, and she should let nature take its course.

The sound of the wind near the edge of the railing was exceptionally clear. She followed his example and leaned aside, looking down at the world in the distance in silence.It is a good place to calm down and avoid impatience. She suddenly understood why Park Xingxiu chose to say "I want to go home" to her at such a height six years ago.

Only by standing tall can you see far.

To see something clearly, climb to the top of it.

"Thinking about Nam Shun?" Opening the mouth to break the silence, Pu Zhixiu turned to look at him, the child was still looking into the distance, keeping his face as if outsiders could not disturb him.

"No." His eyelashes fluttered slightly, but it wasn't because of lies. He stared at the thin body of the patient sitting on the bench by the square downstairs for a few seconds before speaking again: "I'm just thinking about the life of those people. What's it like?"

"...Have you thought about it? What the doctor said."

"..."

"Xingxiu, don't burden yourself too much. There are some things that you can't be too demanding." Pu Zhixiu looked up at the blue sky, and suddenly realized that the most peaceful time in the past few years is at this moment. "All life has gains and losses. You have to cherish what you get and say goodbye to what you lose. As for the established importance, you only need to treat it seriously."

"I can't be sure..."

"People who really understand you won't keep you waiting." Pu Zhixiu propped his body up on the railing with his hands, turned his head and saw the man's vacillating expression, and couldn't help sighing softly: "Trust him, don't wait any longer." Hesitation. Any love has its moments like fireworks."

He was startled, his gaze gradually became clearer, and he suddenly smiled like that, as if returning to his childhood, the most youthful and beautiful smile she had ever seen: "Thank you, sister."

"It won't take a few years to raise your legs and study law by the way. Your brother-in-law and I will be there for the expenses. Don't worry. It's just...you have to take good care of yourself."

His smile was still the same, like a spring breeze, lingering in the flowers, and finally broke away from the ocean with a light struggle.When the setting sun began to visit, it gradually converged, thinking of a certain person, a certain sentence, and suddenly sank to the bottom of the lake.But he thought, he should be strong, otherwise how could he give that person the sky to soar.

His heart is like the sea, just to let that person roam freely.

Everything was like a nightmare, haunting him night after night, unwilling to let go.Gao Nanshun has never felt so tired. Even a few years ago, he walked alone on the road to the turning point of his life day and night, and he has never tasted such tiredness and exhaustion.It's hard to say goodbye, but it's absolute love after a decision.No matter how he hid, he was beaten to pieces, and now he dare not mention anything.

Going forward, can you get out of the wind and clouds.

"Sean!"

The voice was filled with immeasurable resentment, chasing from behind, Gao Nanshun still couldn't guess who the voice belonged to when he turned around, until he was pulled by the collar tightly, he could see clearly the corners of the eyes and brows of the person in front of him. anger.

"You are so fucking ruthless. When something happened, you knew you patted your ass and left, and you pushed a bunch of stains on others?" Cui Yingmin pressed her fingertips hard, her knuckles were blue and white, and she wanted to punch this person calmly. face, but had to suppress the injustice in his heart and vent his irritability in the folds of the man's collar.

His foolish friend, who devoted all his heart to a cold-blooded and heartless guy, dedicated his warm heart piously, but was ridiculed and insulted as worthless.Now the whole world knows that he is the pervert who is shamelessly entangled, and this person in front of him has become a poor man who was innocently victimized.Even if some people doubted it, his friend was already caught up in this disaster from which there was no escape.

How could he not be angry.

"Let go! I didn't intend to let him take care of it." The irritability in his heart was like a prairie fire, and Gao Nanshun felt that it was nothing more than being overwhelmed.He has to bear everyone's blame, so as to offset the endless self-blame and self-loathing in his heart.He pushed away Cui Yingmin's hand, his slightly frowned brows became more and more tense, he looked away to the end of the corridor, where the scene of him and that person still looking at each other still remained. "I will clarify, and I will veto what he said."

"Huh! Clarify? How do you clarify? Is this clear? Do you think that everyone will believe you if you explain two or three sentences? In the final analysis, you are a coward! He... He can do this for you, you Why don't you dare? It's really... Park Xingxiu's eyesight is too stupid to see you, and a person like you is not worthy of his love!" Cui Yingmin stared at him, every word and every sentence seemed to slap him on the cheek, although He has his own stand and principles, and he is firm and fearless after bearing criticism. He is still stabbed by these words, reminding him how much he fears the world.

What love he rejected.

"I……"

"Forget it. It's a waste of time to tell you. I just hope you ask yourself, do you live with peace of mind in such a life? How many times do you want to let him down?"

"..."

He was uneasy, he was unwilling, he was full of absurdity, and just because of a heart-to-heart admiration, he was judged as shameful and rebellious by everyone.

Where should he complain about his suffering?

I love you like, I would willingly bury myself for you.

God knows how much I want to stay by your side.

"The press conference will be held the day after tomorrow, and you will follow Park Xingxiu's rhetoric to explain. This time, you have to listen to it! That man has long since been innocent. Do you think you can redeem anything! This is the company's bottom line, you must do this Do."

After hearing these words, he looked at Li Chengxian's face, speechless for a long time.

Maybe no one will be the person who will always be by your side and treat you well, and gentleness will sometimes turn into a sharp edge.Mysteries that you can't predict are hidden in your life, ready to move all the time.Those you trust, rely on, and support may all become indifferent, snobbish, and harsh.All of those are the lessons of life, and he is still learning the true meaning of life.

After all, it is involuntary.

He could almost imagine Cui Yingmin looking at him with contemptuous eyes.

Why live like a puppet?

He also wanted to ask himself.

The afternoon sun is beautiful, transparent and clear like rock candy from childhood.Gao Nanshun walked to the familiar corner of the stairs. The French windows around him were like a vessel for a hotbed. He was a creature kept in captivity, small and trembling.He raised his hand, pressed his fingertips against the surface of the glass, and gently rubbed it as if he was stroking the cheek of the person with the tip of his heart, but the touch was cold, but it was like that person's heart, which was bullied and betrayed by him again and again.

Missing the moment when he swarmed up, he suddenly began to worry, day and night intertwined, what should he use to support his heart during the tens of thousands of days and nights when he was away from the other party in the future.The body corroded by loneliness restarts the pain, and the desire to experience the lingering embrace will turn into an eternal emptiness.

He stared blankly at the world outside the window, as if he felt strange for thousands of times and was never able to blend in.Belonging to his limited edition Utopia, hiding in an unknown corner and unwilling to lean over.He wanted to turn into a ray of sunshine, at least blooming with a bright smile.

He was the loneliest when that person's phone call came.

"What's the matter?" Who could understand his tone, it was the lingering desire that was suppressed.Careful and trembling, not daring to reveal the slightest but looking forward to being discovered and cherished.He writes himself as a huge contradiction, which lies between the two but is out of reach.

"I... want to tell you, the day after tomorrow, I'm going to the United States." Maybe there is a slight difference in the time difference between the sound waves, Gao Nanshun stared at the lonely figure downstairs, guessing that when he was caught At those moments when the syllables were light and shattered, he should have calmly chosen to be indifferent.

"Really...going to work?"

"No. Treat the leg injury, and then study law. After all... I still have a lot to learn." The small and distant figure shook slightly, then raised his head, and he clearly saw the man looking at him eyes, even though they are thousands of feet apart.Between raising the head and bowing the head, there is a silent nostalgia that twists and sticks.

"How long?" He was timid, he didn't dare to ask, but he couldn't bear the throbbing in his heart and murmured. This is not like Xiao En, unlike him, he thought he was invincible, but it was so easy subdued by distance.He couldn't bear it, couldn't give it up.

A broken lotus root is a disease.

"...Nan Shun." He pressed the phone tightly to his ear, and the hot fuselage infected his auricles, making him feel the flames in his heart spread all the way to his throat, burning his vocal cords, making his Throat congestion.He wished he could go through the electric current to hear that person's voice, which was low and hoarse, resounding in his heart.

"Ah."

"I... should be the one who understands you best. So, you don't need to say it, I understand. I don't want to force you anymore, I just want you to be happy. I think life is too short, and love is not enough. If Yes, I can't wait to get rid of all your pain and suffering in the future, but unfortunately I can't do it... I can only love you in this life, even if you don't want this feeling... It doesn't matter, I will save it .”

"..."

"Everything about us is preserved by me. As long as you live a happy life, that's enough."

When his vision was blurred, he raised his hand and wiped it desperately, afraid that he would not be able to see that person, afraid of being completely abandoned in this world.But in the end, he could only watch from a distance like this, he couldn't walk in front of him and take over domineeringly.

The man really loved him badly.

"Xingxiu..."

"Nan Shun, I am really happy to know you and fall in love with you. Thank you." He heard the cry of that person, hiding in the words and wailing wildly. No one could understand it except him.He said happiness, he said thank you, he gave him happiness.Then accept the heartache and pain he used in exchange.

When the tears seemed to be piercing the floor, he closed his sore and painful eyes. The watchman's figure still reverberated in the warm red, lingering for a long time, like a youthful dream, an indescribable painting, an impossible painting poetry.

Mom, where am I going?

At this moment, he thought, maybe only by praying sincerely can he have a way to survive.

He hid at home, unwilling to see people, unwilling to contact anyone.Close yourself in the nest, self-soothing.Looking around the empty and indifferent room, Gao Nanshun felt that he saw a familiar figure one second, and saw a very strange overlapping shadow in the next second, he was confused and unclear.Nestled in a corner of the sofa, he chose to sort out his memories, dismantling and repacking all the memories in his life, and sorting them into categories.Then I discovered that there was a person running through it all.

He remembered that he knew him when he was six years old, left him when he was 14 years old, met him again, and left him again when he was 19 years old.

Then, at the age of 25, he met him again.

There are twists and turns, one period and one meeting.

All him, just him.

That person loves him deeply, and he loves that person until death.

So what's the point of all the evasion and damage?

"Oh." He laughed at himself, but sometimes he moaned like he was sick.This relationship was made terrible by him, and he made a mess of sewing and mending, which was really a failure.

The coffee in the cup had been cold for a long time, and he was too lazy to move until the phone call came.The moment he answered, he couldn't believe that it was that person who came to contact him.It's just that after the call ended, he hurriedly got up and went out without any pause.

After meeting again after many years, he did not expect it to be such a familiar scene.Six years ago, that person's harsh dissuasion accelerated his departure. Six years later, that person persuaded him again, but it was soft words that he had never thought of.

Until the end, he was still unaccustomed to the strange warmth in his heart. He hesitated for a long time before saying "thank you" in his mouth, and finally uttered it in a low voice with trembling.

Thank you, sister.

After leaving the cafe, Gao Nanshun embarked on the journey back to his hometown.

The turned off mobile phone cut off all his contact, and he was alone, rushing back home.Sitting on the familiar bus, he looked out the window at the scenery, the rolling hills beyond the boundless fields, shaking slightly with the bumps of the road.

He was sitting in the same seat that he sat in when he went to visit his mother with that person many years ago, but this time only the empty air accompanied him, hovering on the empty seat.But his mood is comfortable, and he has a sense of belonging after returning to his hometown after traveling thousands of miles.It's like taking a time tunnel and returning to those innocent and carefree years.

At that time, he was the cleanest, clearest, most beautiful, and most innocent.

At that time, they were unparalleled in love.

When the sun was setting, he walked to his mother's grave.Out of loneliness, he placed his father's ashes in a funeral home in Seoul, thinking that one day he would no longer be alone, so he buried his parents together.But who knows that until today, he has not been able to fulfill his parents' wish to stay together.

He is still selfish, like a child, longing for companionship, tenderness, and all unreachable love.

"Mom, how are you doing recently? It seems like I haven't seen you for a long time."

Gao Nanshun nodded slightly, looking at his mother's still beautiful face on the tombstone, the eager nostalgia and the sour grievance went hand in hand, and the corners of his eyes were moist because of the blockage in his heart.The cemetery is silent and silent, and he stands here alone, feeling at ease and lonely.

"I...I want to tell you something, something I've never said..."

Xiyang is willing to dedicate herself to art, and all she helps is selfless beauty.The radiance slanted and fell on his shoulders, shining out the boundless heart of nature.

"Xingxiu... that brat you've always liked, I love him very much, love him very much..."

There is the sound of the wind in the evening, and the rustling performance is hidden among the trees, wrapping it quietly.The hem of his clothes was gently lifted up, undulating and then obediently fitting, so gentle that it was a complete mess.

"With him, I am very happy... He has paid a lot for me, and I want him to be happy too..."

The air in the country has been washed and cleared, and every strand is full of refreshing fragrance, mixed with the smell of soil, which makes people feel happy.At this moment, he felt that he understood where the real happiness came from.

"Mom, can you tell me what love is?"

He bent down, gently brushed away the dust on his mother's photo with his fingers, and then smiled.

"Mom, it's silly for me to struggle like this, isn't it?"

When my resolve starts to waver, I know I'm going to lose.

Lose completely, lose willingly.

"Where did you go yesterday? If you weren't at home and didn't turn on your phone, you're going to hold a press conference today. If you don't read the manuscript in advance, what will you do if you encounter a difficult situation? Those reporters can eat people and don't spit out their bones. Here you go, hurry up." Take a look first, make a general note, don’t wait until you are on stage and then you can’t explain clearly, if you have any hesitation, those people will catch the clue..." Li Chengxian said a lot, Gao Nanshun listened calmly, as if he was full of heart Anxiety no longer exists, but who knows that he can't wait to block all voices at this moment, no one can understand the irritability and tension in his heart.

Just because that person is leaving Korea on today's flight.

He raised his wrist to look at the time, the hour hand tended to one point, the press conference was scheduled at three o'clock, and Park Xingxiu's flight was at ten past six.It seemed that no one gave him any time to hesitate, a decision was a lifetime, he was forced to make a decision, and his original determination almost collapsed like an ant's nest.Standing quietly in front of his mother's grave for a long time yesterday, he felt that everything became clear and he had a complete direction in his heart.But when the difficult reality was before him, the protective heart that once occupied the soul reappeared again. He wanted to block all blame for that person, just like that person wanted to protect him from generation to generation.

This press conference, no matter what, should come to an end.

Staring at the paper in his hand, the false lies revealed between the lines made him laugh, as if looking at the ugliness of the human heart, he realized how beautiful language he had ever had, the words that the person said to love him, were the most beautiful and purest .

It wasn't until he faced the scene of the press conference that he knew what the world he was in was like.

Everyone is suspicious, everyone is digging, and everyone is greedily asking for it.Ugly secrets have value, and beautiful existences are distorted.Those ambiguous and obscure eyes are embellished on light or naked questions, and the silent contempt is clearly revealed.

He suddenly felt like a clown for the public's amusement.

Why bother.

The manager's explanation on the side became more and more pale. He looked at the "pressing questions" of the reporters who did not want to show weakness at all, and suddenly realized that the most ridiculous thing was actually his hesitation.Why can't even the simplest calculation problems.

Nothing is more precious than his love.

It is a beauty that cannot be compared with thousands of mountains and rivers, and it is the uncanny workmanship of nature.

Don't tolerate other people's wanton slander.

"I..." As soon as he opened his mouth, the audience was silent. Even Li Chengxian couldn't hide the surprise on his face and looked at him who suddenly spoke, just like everyone was holding their breath and waiting for his testimony. Gao Nanshun looked around the audience, eyes wide open. The glory in the middle couldn't help becoming rampant: "I want to clarify one thing."

"Park Xingxiu said that he pestered me. This is a lie."

He thought of the temperature when that person hugged him, that embrace was the world he relied on, and he was always gently cared for and imprisoned.

Their love was carefully cultivated.

"And the fact is, I love him, he loves me, we love each other, there is no falsehood."

See, I'll die for you.

The feeling of being held hostage by cowardice is not at all pleasant. I have been silent for too long, and I want to argue for myself.

Why our love doesn't see the light of day, I want to release it, I want to hug it.

That is my treasure.

Amidst the uproar and shock, he was dazzled by the flashing lights, his eyes were red, but he smiled flamboyantly.He looked at the camera, hoping that he would be clearly included in the scene of this world, and then show thousands of people that his love is pure and flawless.

Quickly glanced at his watch, the time had already moved to [-]:[-], Gao Nanshun stopped waiting, stood up and strode off the stage, and walked towards the exit at the back of the venue, a staff member stepped forward to stop him, but he was covered in disbelief The cold breath forced him to hesitate, many microphones and cameras flooded him, reporters flocked to follow his footsteps, and the order of the security guards almost collapsed.

In the midst of the noise, he turned his head again, looked at the busy and chaotic scene of the crowd, suddenly laughed lightly, and then spoke with a sonorous force that had never been shown before, and resolutely said: "If you want to come, then come, I will Let me see what love really looks like!"

Incheon Airport is crowded with people, and when a flight arrives, the wings are raised and slowly enter the sky.Park Xingxiu stood in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows, looking out of the window in a daze at the latest flying fuselage.The cell phone held tightly between his fingers remained silent, and his palms were sweating due to anticipation and tension. He learned yesterday that the person would hold a press conference today, and guessed that at this moment he must be dealing with those difficult questions. and encirclement and suppression, but he couldn't control his daydreams and expectations, he fantasized about the possible retention and farewell every second.

It wasn't until Pu Zhixiu patted him on the shoulder that he woke up from his obsessed thoughts.

That's right, that person probably won't come.

After the check-in procedures were completed, Park Ji-soo waited with him for the boarding.The brother-in-law led the little nephew who was going to the bathroom away, leaving him and his sister standing quietly in front of the French windows, but they looked at each other silently.This time, it seemed to be the first separation from his sister, and even he, who had already tasted the pain of parting, still found it difficult to resist such a bitter behavior.

Pu Zhixiu looked at him, his expression was like that of his long-dead mother.He suddenly felt sour and unbearable in his nose. This woman walked the farthest with him and paid the most for him.Even if there was confusion, resentment, sadness and hesitation, at this moment, it has turned into melancholy and love.Because she is his only relative.

"Take care of yourself, eat on time, stay up late, and keep warm, huh?"

"Well, I know." He leaned over and hugged his sister, feeling what kind of body this thin but strong woman used to bring him up, but he couldn't hide the grievance in his heart. Tell everything to your sister.

"Nan Shun...I'll take care of him for you. If there's anything, I'll let you know as soon as possible." Pu Zhixiu stroked his hair, but his eyes were red.She was actually reluctant to let her precious brother go to another country to heal his wounds, but even so, she couldn't do anything more. She learned to respect his own choice.For the rest, I can only hope that the child's heart can return as soon as possible.

There was a loud noise coming from a distance, and travelers coming and going all around turned their heads frequently. Park Xingxiu let go of his arms around his sister and turned around, and bumped into the bright scenery that he would never forget in his life.

That person rushed over, carrying a beautiful splendor, piercing his sky and illuminating his life.

That smile bloomed on his face, full of unruly love.

He came to him, looked at him, his eyes haunted.

When the heartbeat rushed to the peak, Park Xingxiu's hands hanging by his side couldn't help trembling slightly.

"You..." He noticed the crowd gradually gathering behind the man, and the flashing lights came and went one after another, but they didn't let him retreat at all.When Gao Nanshun looked at him, he felt that he had started another life.

"I love you."

The voice pierced through the surroundings of thousands of sound rays, broke through many barriers, and came to his ears.Crisp and tactful, the sound is pleasant.

The heart is like a summer rainstorm, hearty and dripping, and it turns into misty rain after a while, moist as silk, nourishing the heart.

The rainwater converges into a river, trickling and winding.Blessed his dry and cracked land, and then thousands of plants began to grow vigorously, with luxuriant branches and leaves.There are flowers blooming all over the mountains and plains in his world, and every blossom is that person's beautiful smiling face.

"Are you here to see me off?" He smiled, looking at the face of the man who was approaching gradually, but his vision was blurred by tears, and even his facial features became blurred.Is this happiness?He suddenly realized that he couldn't even tell the difference between his senses, and the relaxation in his heart was like the sky falling apart, and the whole world was completely new.

"No, I'll ask you to leave later, at least, after I confess." Gao Nanshun cupped his cheek, rubbing his fingertips gently.Like in thousands of fantasies, nostalgic and cherished. "I love you so much, Park Heung-soo. Do you know..."

The slightly salty liquid mixed together, rolling down the folded lips and seeping between the teeth.They chewed each other's tears, swallowed each other's love, and hugging each other tightly was not enough. What could not be satisfied was the gluttonous greedy desire in their hearts, which was too grand to hide and cover.Love each other with all your energy, and that love is scorching hot.

The shocking actions were photographed, the taboo sweet words were recorded, and they were passed down as historical wonders.

None of it matters.

Because I only have you in my eyes, and I have no second thoughts.

Their foreheads touched, their noses rubbed lightly, and they smiled at each other when they looked at each other.

It seems that I have trekked for too long, so long that I was forgotten by time, before I found you.

Then take the whole world into your arms.

What exactly is this?I am full of burning longing for you, with charming joy.

My heart is full of worries and worries.

I didn't understand until you taught me the subject.

The answer is already obvious.

It's love, it's cancer, it's Tathagata.

This is love, reborn with a kiss.

--------------End---------------

Extra Story by Park Ji-soo

[I really don't understand why love can reverse life and death, span centuries, and even deviate from everything. 】

Now I have learned to let go.

What those two children taught me was not to bow down to fate, but to shake hands and make peace with life.

In the winter of 2021, when the first first snowfall swept across the world, I stopped by the street in the center of Seoul, looking at the child on the big screen strutting on the runway, my heart was full, and it was still indescribable There is also no regret that can't be further studied. Even if life is allowed to disappear like quicksand, people still can't resist the sense of time that has passed and changed.

The stories about them, I should have expected those overly colorful beginnings and transitions on that winter night many years ago.Even if you are unable to spy on those ups and downs, you should not be unaware of the beginning of it all.Yeah, as Park Heung-soo's older sister, I've witnessed his love affairs countless times.It was once considered by me to be unfounded and difficult to establish a relationship.But the most evergreen, the most deep-rooted.

The winter when the mother was critically ill was a nightmare for the whole family.

The originally uneasy factors were lurking in life and waiting for an opportunity to move, but they were still bruised all over by the flying disaster.

After receiving the call from the hospital, my spirit, which was already battered, stretched until it could no longer be smooth, and I used all my strength to control my limbs. I rushed to the hospital, almost determined to die together.

The leg was broken, it was kicked, it was kicked by Gao Nanshun.Can anyone tell me what should I do.

The moment I saw Xingxiu, the tension in my mind that made me almost collapse was broken after all.That was the first time I yelled at him hysterically, and my heart swelled and burst out continuously, full of desperate despair.There is no shore, no road, nowhere to look back, nowhere to escape.So he became my only vent, poor, fragile, dying.

I knew that I was persecuting his original wound, but I couldn't stop. It seemed that if I stopped, I would no longer be able to maintain a standing posture.Xingxiu is my wound, but also my life-saving straw.

This became an undoubted fact after the mother left.

It was I who put too much will on him.

At that time, I really hated Nan Shun.In my eyes, he has become synonymous with doom and disaster. I hate his existence, and hate any intersection between Heung Soo and him in the past, even if in those pasts, he has established warmth and kindness.But in my eyes at that time, it became a reasonable theorem to generalize.

He's like a hit-and-run criminal.And Xingxiu, who stayed where she was scarred, reminded me all the time that life couldn't be worse.

I watched him toss and struggle in his rotten and muddy life, and every effort to resist and drift with the tide was his cry of pain.I looked at it like that, as if I was watching a silent but violent drama with cold eyes.He protested by hurting himself, to whom?destiny?That's ridiculous.dream?It broke early.Yeah, maybe I knew then that he was just showing off to the guy.To the one who destroyed him mercilessly and left him mercilessly.

How ridiculous this seems to me.It was as if he had been hurt to the point where he was still yearning for the cruel gaze of the perpetrator.Park Heung-soo was like being poisoned, giving up on himself to a pathetic point.And I'm emotionally numb to it, it's horrible.

Later I realized that it was just the limit of patience.I let him mess around, waited for him to be exhausted, to quench the burning fire in my heart, and then move on to a new life without a trace.It's all for rebirth, for a complete farewell.But it was once again arranged by fate.

When I saw Nan Shun appearing in front of the house, I almost laughed at myself in my heart.I think God is playing tricks on me, he has mastered this kind of tricks, I don't understand why he just doesn't let me go, and Xingxiu is not let go.Everything is like a catastrophe, which cannot be escaped or avoided.

I saw Heung-soo shaken.The expectation hidden deep in his heart was revived before it died out.Because of the encounter again, he was ready to move again, and started to move closer to that person again.If I can't take back that heart, I can hardly grasp it, so how can I take it back.

He obeyed all the warnings I gave him, but he couldn't hide hesitation and hesitation on his face.Gao Nanshun's existence had such a deep influence on him that all his defenses were on the verge of collapse.However, his life in Shengli High School began to be different from before. Even if I don't want to admit that Nam Shun owes a little bit of it, I can't ignore the fact that Xingxiu's hostility has gradually subsided.I saw the growing anger between his brows, like a puppet that had been dead for a long time gave birth to a soul.The scene where he was located began to become alive, instead of lifeless and cloudy.

The change has mixed feelings.The worry about repeating the same mistakes and the expectation of a turnaround made me conflicted, but in the end I chose to wait and see.If you can get back on track, it's not worth the loss.At that time, I felt that Gao Nanshun's existence in his life would only last for less than two years after all.After the college entrance examination, they just passed each other and went their separate ways.

Who knows I was wrong again.

That summer night, when Xingxiu sat beside me with a solemn expression that he hadn't seen for a long time, I guessed who he was going to talk about next.Sure enough, his words are full of everything about Nan Shun. From their tit-for-tat confrontation after their reunion, to their sacrifices, and finally to the final reconciliation, the deep feelings he holds in his heart are all horizontally displayed in my heart. In front of me, just waiting for my affirmation.

I looked at him, as if looking at him carefully for the first time in many years, to see what he looked like.And Xingxiu looked back at me without any hesitation or flinching, he just looked at me quietly, even with a trace of a determined smile, as if he had confirmed that I would choose to forgive and accept.

Maybe it's because I've been silent for too long, but he still couldn't help sighing softly, and the words he spoke were full of persistence that he couldn't hide and didn't want to hide: "Sister, I just hope you can understand that Nan Shun...is The person I can never lose in my life." He hid his emotions in his eyes, looking at the void as if in a trance, but with elusive concentration: "I have lost him once, and there can be no second time..."

I am speechless.I found that I didn't even have any ability to refute.Because during that time, I saw everything about him.Those gradually improving grades and rising emotions all symbolize the weight of Gao Nanshun in his heart.And that weight, even I don't have the confidence to shake it.

But how can I be required to be the ultimate, I still can't convince myself to welcome Gao Nanshun to re-intervene in our life with a smile.That was the only line of defense I had left, and I was worried that if I couldn't hold on, Xingxiu would be attacked again.With such melancholy of being cautious and unable to move an inch, I agreed to him taking Nan Shun home for dinner, which was my biggest concession.

But this concession made me fall into an even deeper and unfathomable abyss.

When I saw Nan Shun who was standing in the living room, hesitant, complex and obscure emotions were churning in my heart. I looked at him carefully, and secretly endured the remaining negative emotions in my heart. After all, I couldn't bear to spoil this rare dinner.Looking at the child's cautious appearance, no amount of hatred can only curl up infinitely,