Piano Song Killing Eve [Short Story]

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My family was very poor, and it became even more difficult after I was born.

My mother always quarreled with my father, thinking he was incompetent.My dad is an honest man, but when I was three years old, he was confused for a while, and went to other people's houses with a group of gangsters to steal things. He thought there was an old woman in the empty house. Call the police, my dad killed her by mistake when he resisted.

My father was sentenced to life imprisonment, and my mother ran away from home at that time.I was adopted by my uncle and they told me that my parents died in a car accident.

I don't want to judge anyone, I just want to say that I don't want to be so surly.When a boy is old enough, he will no longer suffer humiliation and beatings for no reason.

I ran away from my uncle's house, no different from a waif, but I was luckier than a waif, and if I really couldn't get along, I would sneak into my uncle's house and steal their money.They can't do anything about me, because they are still my guardians, and I won't be sent to prison.

Because I didn’t have a mother since I was a child, I longed for a woman to love me. I had a girlfriend since I was 13 years old. She is five years older than me. You must despise me again to make excuses for yourself, right?But my idea at the time was very simple, I just hoped that someone would greet me with care.

She was about to break up with me when she was admitted to university. I was very confused, why it was so easy to break off the relationship?She laughed at my naivety, saying that apart from satisfying her vanity, I have nothing worthy of her.

I became an unattended child again, just like a person who was blind at birth, who was suddenly given three days of light, and then thrown into endless darkness. Of course, I have to do my best to find the possibility of light again.

Maybe I was too eager for quick success, and the way to please girls was too nasty, just like you said, I scared away all the good girls, and the next few girls also broke up soon.

Before I met you, I no longer expected to be with anyone for a long time.And as soon as I saw you, I knew you wouldn't be my girlfriend because you're not vain.

But I think you won't leave me, and I won't leave you. We are the type that we meet for the first time in each other's life. We will peep into each other's life like observers. We don't need to be too close, or even overlap. , just looking at each other, as a novel life experience.

When you got anorexia, I realized that my speculation about you was too frivolous.I didn't expect a girl to make such a sacrifice for me. I was afraid that I would kill you, so I didn't dare to approach, but I wanted to atone for my sin. Was my behavior disgusting at that time?

Yuan Zhen, have you ever felt this way?Originally, I valued the relationship with a person very much, but because I have experienced too many separations and separations before, I habitually think that the current relationship will end sooner or later. The more I cherish it, the more afraid it will end, the more frightened I am, the more I hope it will end It's time to hurry up and even do something absurd to help that end.

I also admit that when I broke up with you, I didn't want to take too much responsibility. At that time, I really didn't understand responsibility.But there is another more important reason for me to say "never see you again".

My uncle and aunt couldn't stand my interruption in their lives anymore, so they told me the truth.

I just found out that I was abandoned by my mother. I was very sad. Fortunately, there is still a father in the world. My father’s prison is far away. My uncle and aunt said that I should go and see him. In fact, they meant to let me go, and I also After thinking about it, I want to find something to do near my father's prison, support myself, and visit him often.

I think if I tell you this, you will definitely look down on me. Your family is full of decent people, and you will definitely not let you associate with me again.

Rather than being abandoned by others, it would be better for me to break up, as if I took the initiative, as if I was not abandoned by others, but I abandoned others.

Yuan Zhen, please forgive me for my selfishness. The few times I was unfeeling towards you afterwards were more or less out of this kind of psychology.

After you left completely, I regretted it. I hated myself to the point of despair. I even needed psychotherapy. Only then did I know from a professional doctor that my psychology stemmed from a kind of extreme self-denial and extreme self. Protect.

Of course, I have other reasons for my unfeeling towards you, so I beg you to read on patiently.

I worked as a part-time worker in a small village near my father's prison as planned. When I met him, I realized the feeling of real happiness for the first time. My father was also very happy. For a while, our life was peaceful.

I found that every time I met my father, his face was almost covered with bruises. When I asked him what happened, he said that he accidentally bumped into it.

I tried to find out, only to find out that it was a prison guard who likes to beat prisoners as a pastime.I reported him, and the prison guard was suspended for investigation.

He must have some background. I didn't expect him to be a policeman again. He was the one we saw in the disco that day.

I lived near my father's prison for a while, and I think that's when the rumors about my imprisonment came about.

Later, my father became suspicious. He asked me why I would visit the prison every week, and it took at least two days of long-distance driving from my house to get there.I have to be honest, I dropped out of school and planned to live here for a long time, my dad was very angry, he called me worthless and asked me to go back.

Later, my father stopped seeing me, and I waited for more than half a year. Every time I went to visit, my father refused.Although he is good for me, I still have the illusion of being abandoned.

So after I returned home, my indulgence and arrogance became worse. On the other hand, I was more afraid of loneliness than before.When you see me again, you must think I'm low and nasty and disgusting.

I don't care about these, we finally met again, and I won't leave easily.At that time, I was like a hedgehog, wanting to get close to you, but turned my back when I got too close, and your attitude towards me seemed to be the same at that time, I think, this is very good.

There are many girls around me who like me, and I will not refuse to play with them every now and then. My behavior looks bad, but only in this way can I feel safe.

But I swear I have never had many girlfriends at the same time, if I say that I have real feelings for each girlfriend, will you tear up this letter?

I really liked Ningning at the time. When she told me that she had my child, my first reaction was to marry her, but she immediately said that the child was aborted by her.

I was sad and accused her of being sloppy and she retorted coldly that she did it because the man who got her pregnant was sloppy.She said a lot of nasty things again. The thing that chilled me the most was that she was very cold when she spoke. It was not a quarrel between lovers. I realized that she had given up on me, or she had never been tempted.

As for letting you take the blame for her, I'm really sorry. I want to protect her and prove to her that I can take on the responsibility of a man.I have long thought that I will take the blame myself, but I don't want to lose face in front of that bad policeman, so I let them take you away first.

I went to the police station and asked a policeman to confess my crime. Unexpectedly, I was bumped into by him. He pushed me to that room and threatened me. I must make him happy so that Ningning and you can be fine.

He hit hard, I was lying on the bed and couldn't move, I was alone, very lonely, Ningning didn't come to see me, I waited for her with my mobile phone, but what I waited for was the call to inform my dad of his death, sad for sure , I don't want to say more.

The time I received the call was at five o'clock in the afternoon on April 29th. My father passed away that morning. He had a sudden myocardial infarction without any warning. The prison management staff asked me to go to the funeral as soon as possible. I made an appointment for the next day. Coach fare at [-]pm, the next day, my birthday, fuck it.

I almost killed you, but you still come to see me, I am really grateful, especially when I see you busy in the kitchen, I suddenly feel that you are my mother, and the house I rent is a home rather than a residence.

But my strange psychology made me afraid again, afraid that this wonderful feeling would end in the next second, and I was leaving in the afternoon, I can't let you know my itinerary, I can only drive you away.

When you told me that Ningning broke up with me, I couldn't stand it any longer. It turns out that misfortunes never come singly.I vented all my resentment on you, but when you said that I would never see you again, I was scared again. If you leave, I will completely lose all contact with this world, and I will keep you.

I know that no matter how much I say I'm sorry, I can't make up for the harm I have done to you. I look at the sheets you lay on, and I feel that I am not a man.I don't have the courage to call you, I'm afraid you'll be sarcastic about me like Ningning, and I don't have time to think about what to do, because I have to catch a car.

Not only did I have to take care of my father's funeral, but I also had to cooperate with the prison management staff to conduct an investigation to prove that my father died of natural causes, which dragged on for more than half a month.Yuan Zhen, the prison is on the mountain, and the communication signal is blocked, I didn't mean not to return your calls and text messages!

I thought I would never have a chance to explain it to you again, my hands are trembling with the pen now, I am so happy, if I really die tomorrow, then you will be able to see this!

Can you read my words clearly?I'm writing too fast because I can't wait to explain another thing.

After I came back, I spent all day drinking in the bar, reading those late text messages from you over and over again, thinking that if I replied immediately after the first few text messages, then you would not say to me Out after those curse words.

The last text message was sent two days ago. You must have completely given up on me in these two days, right?Is it inevitable that we will never see each other again?

Out of pathetic self-preservation again, I made up my mind that if you send another text message or call again, I will beg you not to leave me, and if you never talk to me again, then I will also Will not go to you again.After all, you would be better off without me.

I drank a lot that night and got into a fight with a group of bums, and I got into a fight with them, seriously wounding one, and ran away before the police came.I became a fugitive, but at this moment I received your text message.

[If you don't see me again, I'll jump off a building, and I'll do what I say. ]

I have to see you, not only to prevent you from being overwhelmed, but also for this last side. After I cut off the relationship with you, I will surrender and go to jail.

I don't know if my method is right, I will break your heart for the last time, as thoroughly as possible, so that you will always remember that I am a dirty bastard, you will not know the hardships I have suffered, and you will not know that I am going to jail soon , I abandoned you.

But fate is very good at joking, right?I looked at the test report you left behind, and thought to myself that if I didn't worry too much about gains and losses, and went to find you immediately after I came back, then everything would be in time.

I even regret what I said to you "It would be great if I were like Ningning", you must misunderstand what I mean, I actually want to advise you not to take me too seriously like Ningning, it is best to treat me like her Be trash, but would you beat the child like Ning Ning?

Thinking about it this way, I immediately took out my mobile phone to call you, and the police suddenly appeared at this moment. They had already ambushed nearby, and when you left, they would come out and pin me to the ground.

I begged them to let me make a call, or someone can bring a message to you for me. They thought I was trying to play a trick and had to go through a process to review it carefully. The delay would last for several days.

They finally agreed to let me look at my phone, but it just didn't work, and one of the policemen held it up in front of me, and I saw that text message from you.

[I killed my child and you killed me. ]

I am more scared than ever. This text message was sent the night I was arrested. It has been five days. I am afraid that you have really done something stupid.I stammer what I want to say to you and the police take it down and call your number and if you answer they read me to you.

But no one answered.Like crazy, I jumped up and beat the policemen in front of me while still in handcuffs. I scolded them with the worst words, saying that they killed you. In fact, I knew very well in my heart that this was all caused by me.

I was severely taught by them, and then thrown into the confinement room.

When I woke up, I begged them desperately in the brig, I just hoped that they would come to your house and make sure you were still alive.

I didn't eat or change my medicine. I just kowtowed to the monitor and hit the concrete floor hard with my forehead.

They finally agreed to me, and two days later, they told me that you have gone back to Beijing to go to school, and it was your parents who said so.

I was in prison for a year, and I went to your parents immediately after I got out, hoping to get your address, but there was no one in your house at that time. I heard from neighbors that your parents went to Beijing to find you to live with, and they didn’t care about other things. have no idea.

I thought at the time that this was the moment our relationship was over, and after all the fear and dread for so long, it was time to come.I am more depressed than before, paralyzed by alcohol and tobacco, the only thing I can do is not change my number and keep on standby 24 hours a day.

I finally received your call eight years later. I thought this was the greatest forgiveness from God. I didn’t expect you to give birth to a daughter for me. Don’t be angry. For the sake of my death, let me Call Xiaolei like this, she is my daughter, and my daughter is seven years old!

I knew I was not worthy, I couldn't give my daughter a healthy body, I made her suffer so much, and finally had a chance to make up for it, my own body was failing.

I'm a useless guy, and if I can't save my own daughter, there's no point in my life.

So I made a decision without telling you, so you don't have to blame yourself, and don't be sad. I am really happy to write this letter. I even hope that tomorrow's operation will come soon. No matter what the result is, yes I'm all fair.

Also, I want to tell you that I did sutures without anesthesia because my head was blown out, not because I was worried that I would become an idiot, but because I hadn’t signed the surgery guarantee at that time. If I really became an idiot, I would not be able to sign it. Only by ensuring a sober state can we take responsibility.

Also, I want to thank you for giving birth to a daughter for me. Finally, there is someone whose relationship with me is unbreakable. This is dissolved in the blood and engraved on the genes. I feel very at ease, and I no longer worry that I am alone. Even if she is dead, there is still a daughter in the world.I am not afraid of death anymore!

It's very late, and after writing so much, my mood has calmed down a lot.I'm a little tired, I'm going to bed, tomorrow, wish me luck, my dear Xiaozhen.

One more thing, at 201:4 pm on April 30, 2X, after I woke up, I suddenly had a very strong desire, I want to be with you forever.

Good night, I wish you and Xiaolei always healthy and happy.

Situ Lei

10

"Yuan Zhen, when you read this letter, I should no longer be in this world..."

"Give it back to me!" Situ Lei stretched out his hand, struggling to reach for the letter in my hand, although his voice was weak, it was obviously shy and coquettish.

I sat beside Situ Lei's hospital bed, holding the letter and dangling in front of his eyes.

"Say, do you still dare to seduce sister nurse?"

"Who... who told you not to see anyone all day, I... I'm bored!"

"Little friend, Auntie still has a lot of things to do. I'm not here, so you have to be good." I said while putting the letter into my schoolbag.

"You return the letter to me and I'll be good!" Situ Lei couldn't change his arrogance even if he was lying on the hospital bed.

"No, if you do shameless things again in the future, I'll pick out the nasty things in front of you!"

"Give it back to others!" Situ Lei deliberately flattened his mouth to be cute.

I coughed and continued to read: "Also, I want to thank you for giving birth to my daughter..."

"I'm good, I'm good! Don't read it!" Situ Lei showed a pitiful expression.

"Hmph, I finally found the weapon to defeat you." I put away the letter and I was in a good mood.

"I'm so pissed off, I'm so pissed off." Situ Lei whispered, he turned his face away, but I still saw the smile on the corner of his mouth.

This is the third day since Situ Lei narrowly escaped death.

Just when the doctor was about to pull out the last tube, Situ Lei, who had been in a deep coma, suddenly shook his fingers violently, and at almost the same moment, Xiaoxian let out an ecstatic cry from the corridor.

"The blood bank is here! The blood bank is here!"

An uncle in his forties was carried into the intensive care unit where we were by Xiaoxian and Sanqi.

It turned out that when I was most at a loss, Cheng Ming posted the news that Situ Lei needed a blood transfusion on the Internet, begging people with the same panda blood type to lend a helping hand.

As soon as the uncle saw me, he sighed repeatedly: "Oh, I'm sorry to keep you waiting for so long! I live in the suburbs, and I rushed to the hospital immediately when I saw the news. There was a traffic jam, and the traffic jam was terrible! Otherwise, I would have arrived earlier. It is still time Is it too late?"

The grace of heaven came down twice in one day, and Situ Lei was saved.

But he has earned enough of my tears, how can I spare him lightly, Xiaoxian is a good girl, she handed the letter to me earlier, why should I be polite to him?

At this time, Situ Lei stretched out his hand to me again. I was a little surprised, and I also stretched out my hand to hold his hand. He looked at me silently, and after a while he said, "Can I stay?"

"stay?"

"I'm nothing, but I want...I want to stay by your mother and daughter's side." He stared at me, and his originally slack eyes suddenly became extremely bright.

"Who said you are nothing? You are Xiaolei's father!" I replied in a comforting tone.

Situ Lei didn't speak, just looked at me and smiled silently.

I asked him: "When you and Xiaolei are discharged from the hospital, can I tell her?"

"No! Don't..." Situ Lei suddenly panicked.

"why?"

"I... I'm not ready yet."

"There is no need to make any preparations, and Cheng Ming agrees."

"I haven't done well enough, wait for me...wait for me..." Situ Lei's expression suddenly became serious, he looked away from my face, lowered his head, as if he was looking forward to something.

He must be looking forward to Xiaolei calling him dad. Although he is looking forward to it, he is worried that he will not do well enough and let down his daughter's dependence.

"You scoundrel, how long do you want us to wait?" I pretended to blame, but actually encouraged.

Situ Lei raised his head and looked at me with gentle but firm eyes.

"It won't be too long, I promise, I will work hard!"

(Finish)