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"I like plants. If I were asked to grow a plant, I would definitely grow green radishes." The girl lay on the table, squinting her eyes lazily, and there was a sense of confusion in her curved eyes.

"Why?" Yu Xianbai, who was sitting next to the girl, looked at the girl's face with her chin in her hands, with a slight smile in her eyes.

"Because it's easy to raise, it doesn't need to be taken care of, and it looks good. Seeing the green radishes covered with green bricks and white tiles..." The girl's eyes were full of yearning, "Imagine walking on a path paved with bluestone with an oil-paper umbrella, The gloomy sky is drizzling, and when you raise your head slightly, you can see vines and radishes growing on the old wall, don't you think that picture is very beautiful?"

Yu Xianbai curled his lips and hummed lightly, "Well, it's very beautiful."

In her eyes, girls are also beautiful.

"In the future, I will definitely move to the water town in the south of the Yangtze River. Every day is poetic and picturesque. It's beautiful just thinking about it." The girl sketched the picture in her imagination on the paper.

Yu Xianbai looked at the girl's side face quietly, she just smiled and listened to the girl's words, she didn't speak.

"Xianbai, I'm sorry for making you listen to so much nonsense from me again." On the way home from school, the girl lowered her head and kicked the stone beside her feet.

Yu Xianbai shook his head and said, "We are friends, aren't we? I won't feel bored talking with you."

"But... almost every time I'm the only one talking." The girl herself felt embarrassed at this point, and among her friends, Yu Xianbai was the most patient and listened to her all the time.

"It's okay." Yu Xianbai said with a smile.

"That's good." The girl breathed a sigh of relief, and showed a bright smile to Yu Xianbai.

"Aren't you going back by car today?" From the corner of Yu Xianbai's eyes, he caught a glimpse of the car that had been following them.

The girl pouted and muttered dissatisfiedly: "I don't want to take a car at all, so I can't talk to you."

"Well, that's what I thought too."

The girl hugged Yu Xianbai's arm and said with a smile, "How about we go shopping today? Anyway, we don't go to school tomorrow."

"Okay."

The picture freezes on the girl's smile, everything gradually turns black, and is finally swallowed by darkness.

In the darkness, Yu Xianbai sat on the edge of the bed, and she pressed her forehead with one hand.

"I really miss it..." Yu Xianbai muttered to himself.

She raised her head, resting the top of her head against the wall, and let out a long sigh.

Many years have passed since then, and she still hasn't forgotten Qin Shuyue.

Originally, she planned to express her feelings to Qin Shuyue in person on the day of graduation, but when she met Qin Shuyue's eyes, she knew that she and Qin Shuyue had no future.

Anticipated and nervous, but with a hint of fear at the same time, what are you afraid of?It's because they are afraid that the two of them will never return to their original relationship.

So the sentence I wanted to say was still not said after all, there was no need to say it, Qin Shuyue actually knew it too.

The two of them knew each other, Qin Shuyue pretended to be stupid, and she also pretended to be stupid.

But ah, her patience is limited.

The strings of reason are constantly being pulled, and will eventually be torn off one day.

From the day of graduation, the relationship between the two gradually became estranged.

She went there on the wedding day and gave Qin Shuyue her best wishes.

It's not a sincere blessing, and she will no longer appear in Qin Shuyue's life from now on.

Qin Shuyue looks very happy, how can she disturb Qin Shuyue's happiness...

Whether the answer is yes or no, she can be sure that she wants to destroy Qin Shuyue's happiness.

Qin Shuyue is really bad. She clearly knew what she wanted, but still invited her to the wedding.

I don't want to destroy the relationship between the two, and I don't want to bear the eyes of the world, and I don't want to be judged by others.

That’s right, it’s only been two or three years since homosexuality became legal, and homosexual love is still unacceptable to everyone.

For a rich lady like Qin Shuyue, it is impossible for her to be with herself, no matter whether she considers the views of the outside world or the interests of the family.

Both of them knew this very well. Qin Shuyue chose to follow the family's arrangement, at least to make her life less painful.

Understanding is one thing, accepting is another.

===

From the day she entered the orphanage, she went on a road of no return.

No matter what she did was good or bad, when the news about the Yexing Orphanage leaked out, she would be infamous.

With her many struggles, the Yexing Orphanage got rid of its original state and became an ordinary orphanage. Other experimental products were transferred, leaving only the children who failed the experiment.

She took care of these children, but there was still no way to save their lives.

The cruel reality told her that she was weak and powerless, and could do nothing.

Finally, an opportunity came, and Tao Liancheng, the original chief dean, left with the data and semi-finished products, leaving her to clean up the mess.

It is not difficult for Yu Xianbai to take over this dark organization. She has always been very smart, but she doesn't have a specific goal to work towards, otherwise everything she wants to achieve will be very simple.

Of course, being with the one you love is not an easy task.

For Yu Xianbai, it should be said that it is impossible.

That's right, it's impossible...

Yu Xianbai thought of Qin Shuyue's eyes, and also remembered the beautiful past of the two of them.

She closed her eyes, and after an unknown amount of time, the sky outside had turned slightly white.

The morning light cast a filament in the room through the gap in the curtains, Yu Xianbai walked to the window and opened the curtains with a clatter.

Looking down, Lian Manman, who was only six or seven years old, was squatting by the flowers with a few children, looking at something.

A subconscious smile appeared on Yu Xianbai's face, the child is really a beautiful creature.Let people understand their own filth, but also heal people's hearts.

Yu Xianbai suppressed the smile on her face, she turned and left the window.

The accident between Lian Yuesi and other women is not something she can arrange, but it doesn't matter, it just suits her heart.

Now that Lianyuesi already had a child, she took the other one away.

Seeing the little baby lying in her arms, the hatred and resentment in her heart seemed to disappear.

However, sometimes she is determined to strangle the young Lianmanman. This is really a poor child.

Because of her selfishness, she was taken away from her parents, and there was someone beside her who wanted to kill her.

But she will not send the child back. Although she feels pity for the child in her heart, she will not soften her heart in the slightest.

She named the child Lian Manman, and Lian's surname reminded her all the time so that the hatred and resentment in her heart would not subside.

The child Lian Manman is very simple and doesn't have so many thoughts, which gave Yu Xianbai the illusion of traveling through time and space to Qin Shuyue's childhood.

But no matter how much Lian Manman looks like Qin Shuyue, she is not Qin Shuyue after all. Qin Shuyue and Lian Manman grew up in different environments.

She did it on purpose, keeping Lian Manman so pure on purpose.

She hoped that Qin Shuyue would be like this, innocent and cute, without that kind of selfish and self-interested thoughts.

What will happen to this child?

Let's just live a mediocre life, maybe this is what Lian Manman wants.

Seeing this child calling herself sweetly, her heart will soften a little, but that's all.

Watching Lian Manman grow up day by day, the child's face became more and more like Qin Shuyue.

Her occasional gentle and sometimes cold appearance made Lian Manman uncomfortable, but she never explained the reason.

Hearing that the Lian family members have been looking for the long-lost child, Lian Manman, she used the power of the organization to deceive the Lian family members.

She also kept a low profile and no longer appeared in Qin Shuyue's life. Qin Shuyue, a bad woman, never took the initiative to contact her once.

Are you still waiting for her to take the initiative to contact you?Or did you think she was just too busy to meet?

Qin Shuyue must also be timid, afraid to see her again.

Thinking of this, Yu Xianbai felt that she was so stupid. There were many people better than Qin Shuyue in the world, but she insisted on Qin Shuyue alone.

Obviously Qin Shuyue is so selfish and doesn't care about her heart and feelings at all, but she still doesn't appear in front of the other party because of taking care of Qin Shuyue's mood.

She loves Qin Shuyue very much, but also hates Qin Shuyue very much.

So she was looking forward to Lianyue Temple's derailment and Qin Shuyue's misfortune, but she couldn't bear Qin Shuyue's sadness in her heart.

Contradictions made her put more energy into the organization. She was an orphan and had nothing to worry about, and the person she wanted the most could not be by her side, so she stepped into the darkness alone.

She never thought that she would come to this point. She still remembered how kind the dean was to her, but it was a pity that dean Chen passed away due to overwork.

Originally, she planned to return to the orphanage when she grew up so that the children in the orphanage could live a better life, but the orphanage she used to live in has closed down.

Later she came to the Yexing Orphanage, and from this moment on, she had half stepped into the shadows.

The darkness and gore stung her eyes, but she was calm. Getting excited and flustered at this time was of no use, it would only put herself in danger.

She calmly accepted the darkness behind the Yexing Orphanage, but she did not choose to blend in with the darkness. She tried to at least let the children in her branch live well.

It just so happened that the headmaster was planning to move his position, so the Yexing Orphanage finally got rid of the human experiments.

It's a pity that her efforts were in vain, and the children passed away one after another.

After officially taking over the organization, she found that many things were beyond her control. She wanted to let all the children live well, but it was too difficult.

She had people stop all the ongoing experiments, and she transformed the original Morning Star Orphanage into Bichen Mental Hospital.The experimental subjects were changed from innocent children to incurable psychopaths.

At least it stops the children from suffering, but that's just changing from one evil to another.

If you don't regret it after asking her, the answer is no regrets.

She has never done anything that she regrets in her life, even if she didn't confess, even if she stole away Qin Shuyue's child.

It's just that she is already a little bored, tired of her current identity.

But there are some things that she can't stop if she wants to. If she wants to completely collapse the organization, she must disappear as the leader.

She chose to cooperate with Yao Qinghui. She knew very well what kind of person Yao Qinghui was, and it was precisely because of this that she chose Yao Qinghui.

As long as there are benefits, Yao Qinghui will fall to whichever side.

In the face of absolute power, Yao Qinghui would of course choose to betray the leader of her shady organization.

These were all she expected early in the morning, and she turned a blind eye to the fact that Yao Qinghui deliberately used some tricks to send Lian Manman to Kong Qing's side.

By doing this, Yao Qinghui expressed his sincerity and made a promise.

That is, he will never take the initiative to hurt Lian Manman, and Yu Xianbai is also at ease about Lian Manman's safety.

Kong Qing is a very reliable person, and he will not hurt others because of his own self-interest.

Yu Xianbai was relieved that Lian Manman could come to Kong Qing's side, since she had thought of strangling Lian Manman to death before.But now he couldn't help worrying about Lian Manman's safety.

Maybe it's out of habit, maybe it's because she doesn't want Qin Shuyue to worry, or maybe it's because she loves Lian Manman, a silly girl.

Later, Lian Manman returned to Qin Shuyue's side, and she didn't stop or guide her.

That's all, she has no obsession with this matter.

After raising Lian Manman for more than 20 years, she didn't do anything. She herself felt that she might be in a daze.

Will Qin Shuyue hate her for this?

In fact, hating or not hating has no meaning to her. It doesn't matter if Qin Shuyue doesn't hate her. If she hates her, can she hate her for a lifetime?

The matter of loving Qin Shuyue has become her obsession for many years, from high school to now, 30 years of time, she has done stupid things foolishly.

Because she loves Qin Shuyue, she doesn't want to make Qin Shuyue sad, and because she blames Qin Shuyue, she destroys Qin Shuyue's life.

Is there more love, or more resentment?

Let's love more, otherwise she wouldn't see Qin Shuyue for more than 20 years because she was afraid of Qin Shuyue's sadness, and she wouldn't raise Lianman well because she was afraid of the other party's sadness, and she wouldn't be the first to save Lianman time homicide.

That's right, that was the first time she did it.

She was not afraid at all, as long as she thought that Qin Shuyue would smile when she saw her daughter who was safe and sound, she would not be afraid at all.

Love made her timid, but also made her strong, and made her crazy.

In the eyes of others, she almost turned love into an obsession, how could she not understand it, she understood it better than anyone else.

The word ignorance means self-knowledge when one is sick, one who knows one's heart well, yet commits a crime knowingly.

Stupidly guarding in the dark silently, not seeking to be together, just wishing to see a few more times, not only wishing for the happiness of the other party, but also wishing to destroy all good things.

It is this kind of contradiction that made her who she is now, and until now, also...

The author has something to say: I have nonsense to say, and the copywriter said that it is a series of articles with my other article "Domestic Zombies Can't Lose", so many points are common.That article was about the Morning Star Orphanage. I also wrote about the process of Lianyan pulling on a certain actor before, and that was the protagonist of the article about zombies.

Manman wants to become an actor, this person is also one of the reasons, and I will talk about it later.It doesn't matter if you don't understand these, just ignore them, even if it's a little easter egg for those who have read two articles.